YoungPD

man.. I feel your pain. believe me I do. Young guy, fairly attractive, used to have a huge sex drive, life of the party etc.. that's all me too.
Depressed? yeah. I'm in therapy and on antidepressants, and there still isn't a day that goes by I don't think about sticking a gun in my mouth.
Single. Yep. Got divorced last year, my girlfriend just broke up with me a couple weeks ago. Am I lonely? Yeah I am.
Here's the thing tho, the girls understand, unless they're complete bi+If what you want is intimacy, you can still have that. Intercourse isn't required. It's a bonus, to be sure, but not a requirement. And like I said, there's ways to work with too. It takes some openness, honesty and creativity, but it can be done.
So flirt with those girls, have a good time. There's no way to know in advance. And if it's an issue, well, they weren't good enough for you anyway, and it's their loss. For F^@%'s sake, I know it feels like the end of the world, and that no one is going to want you. But that's simply not the case.
I don't know what else to say. But when a divorced quasi-suicidal, depressed, Peyronies Disease/DC, diabetic 28 year old tells you that life will be ok and that you'll be fine and that there are women out there who will be with you, you really ought to pay attention. He knows what he's talking about because he's living through it the same as you.

That's all I've got. Now go have some fun.

feel free to shoot me an email or YIM anytime
[email protected]

-jon

YoungPD,

Thanks for the post.  I hope the wisdom available for exchange on the forum will not be hidden in email were they will deprive others that are too shy or deprssed to post.  

You are in the right place and rest assured, it will get better.

Hi again and thank you all,you are so supportive and wonderful. maybe nobody like us knows how valuable can it be for a victim of this disease to have some emotional support,especially as we are all men in a world in which weakness of a man is often left not mantioned. especially in this perticular pain which none of us ,I guess, can expose openly,in front of his friends or so.

To Jon : I  really appriciate your efforts to help and your genuine kindness ,being so frank and sharing your own experience with this damn curse with which we are dealing .I feel your pain too. don't ever put the gun there.it is one way ticket.I have been suicidal myself for the last year and still have many days like that,however I know I wont do it as I am afraid,and besides ,it's a strange basic instinct,that people ,at least the lion part of them,will prefer living ,rather then dying,even while facing the most devastating moments in their whole lives.some people are paralized but they keep a good grip of life.sometimes it's a mistery for me.as a matter of a fact there are many days I keep asking myself why am I still here. one wise man (one "internet friend" of mine who suffers severe peyronies as well) has told me once ,when I asked him wether he had ever considered that option of suicide ,he said: I prefer being in a long bitter hopeless struggle but staying alive,then being dead. I guess it is just a basic instinct.

I admire you (Jon) for being able to be with a girl even in this condition ,nonetheless, I can't say I can come to terms with my own condition,nor can I concieve or bear ,at least at this point of my life,the possibility to confess my tragidy in front of a girl,though I know you are absolutely right : some women may actually live with it peacefully.

Yes,mate,it's frankly all about us - a tragidy of having a man's pattern of thinking.stiff, or rigid attitude.however ,we (as men ) have a full "moral" right and 'liscence' to feel angry,miserable,cursed,frustrated and ..every thing else - you name it.

It is only natural for a man ,especially a party guy like you or me,to find it extremely awkward to alter sharply,abraptly, the whole of your well built  conception regarding sex,relationship,and all that surrounds your social life.
I mean ,to think from now on so differently about women. instead of shiverring with all your body and having at least good sex,you have to start thinking of a woman in such an quasi a-sexual way or the like. almost as if I were a convict ,hermit or so,let alone the inferiority sense and helplessness which are a sense of impotence by themselves for a man.

I Used to orginize parties and had girls around in every ocasion ,some were having fun with me in very wierd places in a bar.I was a real man - I have been in those far days so proud ,and never afraid of any ocasion that might has ended up all of a sudden in the girl's bed.I could trust my manhood without any excuse or tears or inferiority complex.

Today ,if a girl flirt with me , my mind goes like in cycles - the previous "me" is kind of still there saying : "hey - she is so sexy,gorgeous ,she wants you.you can have fun together-real sex and fun, like old times " ,and then - like a waking up from a dream (a nightmare - to put it in a better word),I remembers too damn clear and eloquently that I am impotent ,so obviously the  "glory days" are gone. like a 90 years old speaking with gloomy eyes about his lost youth. but hey ,I am so young.too young for this.just turning 33 soon.It so unfair.it shouldn't be like that. I should have been in my best years now.

And if that's not enough I lost all my money and "proffessional" prestige,let alone social life.I am crashed here too...

Even if women will want "just to cuddle" (or with some foreplay I can do for her ,something I used to do just in order to wait for the "real show" but I was doing it as well.I knew ofcourse what you have said about making it the other way around for a girl...).but anyhow , comparing to normal relationship,for me it feels like,coming to a restaurant without being able really to eat,except for some small bites that someone chew for the person (as he can't eat).

On one hand, I would like to have a girlfriend,but its kind of not the real thing.one of the most bonding thing in my previous relationships was sex.it was so importent . being a stud once,and being used to my previous pretty high self esteem, feeling like a real proud man,the one who can have a real party joy and fun in life with girls and social life, I am now in a pool of agony darkness shame and despair.

When I go to a club today ,I am not happy anymore,unless I use some alcohol or so.Without it I just fake smiles. if a girl comes to me, I sometimes avoid the situation,since she knows me from other days,consequently it can end up with sex which I have to avoid now. what a world ... never have I thought I would have to avoid sex.

Even if she does understand, I will still be,all my life with a fair amount of insecurities either regarding her,or with my new social abilities.

I am kind of  locked in a cage. inside I am the same party boy.same boy who liked the good life with all the happy hours.now I can't even smile.it has been more then a year since I lately had a real happy smile on my face. I wont have one anymore whatsoever.

And in my home town ,there is always a possible "bonus" I have to mantion. I'll explain what I mean by a little story I had: a year before my Peyronies Disease started,I have been with a girl for some nights. in one of our sessions,we were speaking about her x-boyfriend. apparently ,he was in the bar the same night.and while we were in bed she was telling me deep into details,openly,that her x-boyfriend was an impotent (even though I knew who he was from the bar,she didn't mind). similar cases of "confessions" happened to me as well.girls talk.they talk about everything,more then us,I know.
so thats another thing here,except for unbearable confession in front of a new girl that I can't either perform or funcion as a normal man.and then illusing myself as if I am in a real relationship with a woman. me and my shattered ego.I don't know what to do about it.

I admire you Jon.I just don't know if I could or would do the same. some people say that if a person was once,one hell of a chess player, for example,and all of a sudden he became very very bad one,he might give up the game in advance.not playing a game he is a shame when he plays it today.

I appriciate what everybody say.you are great friends,and a wonderfull forum.
I am sharing my feelings and hope it's not too much for somone,if so I deeply appologize for it.
All the best
I will keep everyone informed.        

Young Peyronies Disease,

You mention that you cannot keep an erection without constant masturbation.  You do not offer any evidence that you could not keep one during intercourse.
Also, you do not mention if you have tried any ED drugs.

It almost sounds like you are stressing so much about what you think will happen that you are causing it.

I suggest you read the entire "Erectile Dysfunction" topic or the one in our "Newly Diagnosed" board that can be found immediately under this board on our forum's home page.

I was at a seminar this weekend, and heard a fascinating story. The presenter had worked to help heal the pain and suffering of a young woman from Rwanda. She had hidden in a cupboard while listening to men kill her three children, then her husband, and then her brother.

He said that she was not mad at the men who had done this, but instead wanted to understand it so that she could work to prevent such horrors from ever occuring again in her country.

She wasn't mad...

He said pointedly: "If this did not 'make her mad', then surely nothing can 'make us mad'. Nothing can make you mad."

I think of that story when I hear about how others go through this disease. Young Peyronies Disease - I hope that you can hear something in the messages that you are getting. There are others who are going through something a lot like what you are, but they are not suffering so much.

So I think you have a choice. I think the choice is more than killing yourself versus not killing yourself. Instead of finding a way to survive - which may be all that you can do right now - I hope for you that you can be able to thrive.

Good luck.

Tim

First of all,thank you all again.

Tim,I am in the seminars business as well,and I have to agree with you it is quite helpfull.my sister runs coaching seminars in which I take part as a lecturer sometimes.it helps encouraging oneself.

I have days in which I tell myself : "I have to fight back even though there is quite nothung to do in order to fix it",and then,there are days I see a pretty woman and I collapse for 2-3 days again,knowing again what I have lost in life.

It is indeed a daily fight. in my age and marital state,it's a fight to convince myself to smile.to convince myself I might be one day close to "happy" ,like I have been once.I am not talking about surviving ,because suicide,today, is out of the equation for me.I wont do it.I just want to be happy again which seems quite difficult for me today.

To Hawk : I have of course strong evidence that I can't have any intercourse.  I am not that quitter as it seems here....I am just at my lowest point.
I have tried almost everything and went to every expert,until I have found out ,(in any scientific source)that once your tunica is pretty destroyed and full with fibrosis,in our days ,there is quite nothing to do to restore it. (except the implant or VED before each and any intercourse )

I have indeed tried to go to bed while having peyronies. I have my own experience with pills (Viagra,Cialis and so),nonetheless I haven't tried (except for once - while having echo-Doppler test),the injections of trimix and the like,as I have heard from doctors,it is not highly recommended for people having progressive fibrosis in the penis,since it is more likely to worsen it.

I went to bed with some girls while taking pills,and my penis lasted for about 2 or 3 minutes or so,before collapsing again.that was almost a year ago.since then my Peyronies Disease has deteriorated sharply.

I have tried at home the tension rings. it was painfull for me,and besides, I had problems with coming to a girl with it.in addition it can harm your penis as well ,as some uros told me.

Sorry to say,today I am quite expert(more then all doctors...) for the entire mechanism of erection ,how exactly does it work,and consequently,what may or may not help improving it.

Once the tunica (the sponge tissues) is full of fibrosis,the only possible solution provided by the science or the doctors today is the implant or the VED which is quite humiliating especially with a new girl.
You have to be very brave and tough to use the VED for dating. I don't know how people can pass this stage of pumping in front of a new girl,however I admire the courage.

All of us are really long enough in this damn boat ,scoring the internet and reading every single available detail about Peyronies Disease and ED, to know that unless one can still have erections somehow,or is in a long term marriage with kids or so,we are quite doomed for life to,having no real choice but accepting the new condition and trying to live with it,without expacting much to change.
I will provide you soon with my own conception and analysis regarding the question : why after 400 years of it we are still with vit. E and tension rings. (will be provided later...)


Talking about happiness? I don't really know .it differs from one to another and depends really on one's perception ,auto-suggestion and inner mental strength.

If someone here is impotent,young and single and still 100% as happy as before,I would like to hear about it ,so that I will learn the magic...and I will give this person all I have ever gained in life.

In my case ,I have lost at the same time some financial abilities,ambitions,lust for life and much more. for instance,it is very difficult for me today to motivate myself to make money.from a very ambitious person I have become a person that his spirit shows constantly deep reluctance to take part in many other aspects of life.

Generally you are all right.your attitude us the only possible attitude in order to cope with it.I truly know that.

It reminds me the remarkable book of Albert Camus "The myth of Sisyphus" -in which the author claims that the hope and despair grow on the same ground,meaning sometimes ,giving up the fight,even though it might seem lost in advance,is like a "philosophic suicide",like losing the right for hope as a person. (sorry for being too philosophic...).

And in order to finish this post in a positive way ,I will tell you about an interview I have read lately :
Some journalist have asked Larry Flint a question (Larry Flint is the founder of the porn magazine "Hasler". when Flint was 27 y/o someone tried to kill him by a gun and consequently Flint became paralyzed for life ,from the belt and downwards). so the interviewer asked him : "how do you cope with the fact you are phisically so disabled ?" so Flint said : "I try not to deal with things I can't change or control in my life".
I think it is a hell of remarkable point of view.I want to clap my hands for that (seriously.I am not cynical here). I wish I could think like him.

I am sending my appreciation and may god bless you all.

I will keep posting (if you can still stand me......)

YoungPD


The last thing I figured out i

I'm bummed. I posted a long post, and since it had too large an attachment, it did not post, but when I followed the link "back", my words had gone...

Well, too bad Young Peyronies Disease, 'cause I had answers to all your problems!

First off I had a picture of the repair job that could fix the severely fibrotic penis - but it was too big.

Then I had all sorts of good advice, but if I was not meant to give advice today, well darn.

But I can post a summary of the abstract that is relevant to you. Here is the safety net that you have - a repair job for the severely fibrotic penis. It can be fixed it appears. So you have the safety net under you.  Now all you have to do is work on your happiness and well being. Tough work in my opinion.

Tim

Here is part of the picture...

Here is the summary of the article:

Journal of Urology, Vol. 166, 1782–1786, November 2001

RECONFIGURATION OF THE SEVERELY FIBROTIC PENIS WITH A PENILE IMPLANT

FRANCESCO MONTORSI, ANDREA SALONIA, TOMMASO MAGA, RENZO COLOMBO, ANDREA CESTARI, GIORGIO GUAZZONI AND PATRIZIO RIGATTI

From the Department of Urology, University "Vita e Salute-San Raffaele," Milan, Italy

Purpose: Using evidence based methods we prospectively evaluated the impact of a new surgical procedure on penile deformity caused by severe cavernous fibrosis.
Materials and Methods: In 10 patients with severe penile curvature, shortening and impaired penile rigidity due to fibrosis of the corpora cavernosa we made multiple relaxing incisions of the tunica albuginea and subsequently placed a 3-piece inflatable penile implant. Patients were evaluated before and after the procedure by the International Index of Erectile Function and several general assessment questions. Preoperatively and postoperatively we measured flaccid and erect penile length.
Results: At the 6-month followup all International Index of Erectile Function domains were significantly improved compared with preoperative values. Average penile length was increased 2.3 and 3 cm. while flaccid and erect, respectively, compared with before surgery. Complete penile straightening was achieved in 9 of 10 cases (90%). Surgical reoperation was performed in 1 patient (10%) in whom the implant was removed due to scrotal infection and in another (10%) in whom a further single relaxing incision of the fibrotic plaque was needed to attain complete penile straightening.
Conclusions: Patients with severe penile curvature, shortening and impaired penile rigidity due to penile fibrosis may be offered this surgical alternative, which proved to be effective and safe in our preliminary series.

Yikes Tim!  

What a high impact dinner-time read!  Thanks for sparing the color photos!


To your previous post on choosing our attitude and response, thanks for the great post Tim.

Thank you ever so much Tim.
It is kind of stunning information for me,as previously I have been in touch in another forum, for people who had undergone penile implants.all of then reported they have lost about an inch more or less ,after the process,comparing to previous state.

So ,this report with which you have provided me,contradict all my previous info.

Maybe the others were misjudging the results? I do not know.
Further investigation is surely needed ,in order to check the disability of this option for me.

However ,in my case ,since I don't have any extra single inch to lose,if I would like to function again,it is highly important wether you lose some or you stay at least the same as you were before this operation.

I have to investigate it a bit more to be sure.but it is indeed a step forward if it does regain lost size or at least keeps my current size.

If we have some people in the forum who can provide me with some more solid facts regarding this option (examples,experience and the like),it can be more then a help.

Moreover,does someone have a clue about costs of it and well known doctor who operate it ?

Thank you for th help.my dearest appreciation here.
One more thing : as an answer for you Tim,I am a happy person by nature,if somehow I would be able to restore my sexual ability (not with a 10 cm or so...),it may bring back my happiness too. that's the way it works for me ,mate.

By the way : would you go for it ?

Best wishes
YoungPD

youngPD:

Look for a PM from me that I sent earlier this date. Would like to add my 2 cents worth on the subject of implants. There is a rule of thumb on this forum and others that an implant procedure is the "last resort" toward correcting Peyronies Disease. Since the procedure is not reversible, make definitely sure that you actually need the implant before proceeding. In addition, get one, two or three opinions from qualified uros first, then decide if it is for you.

In my work as a counselor for prostate cancer as well as Peyronies Disease in patients referred to the American Cancer Society in my hometown by local uros, I get to talk to a lot of guys with varying Peyronies Disease, ED and other men's health problems. Have had access to at least 5 guys who had the implants done and none of them reported any major problems. Also, none reported loss of size in either length or girth. You have mentioned that you had seen that loss of dimensions was a problem, but I have not seen that in my work, etc.

My mother-in-law's last husband had an implant done at age 75 and he reported great success with the surgery with no loss of dimensions and it worked perfectly for him. However, he did not as far as I know, have Peyronies Disease, only ED. The known ED pills did not work for him. It was decision to have the surgery done so that they could enjoy a sex life again. This is only one instance, so again, be careful in making your decision should you go for an implant.

Old Man

Thank you sir ("old man").
Your work is quite relevant to this topic.
What would you do having 14 CM (after shrinkage,had 16 once) with severe fibrosis. would you go for implant even knowing you might end up with 10-11 ?(can a woman be pleased with such ?). I am afraid to lose additional size as well.

Thanks in advance

Young Peyronies Disease,

My point is not that you should run out and get the implant. My point is that you have options.

Now, I argue that your work is to start to heal your wounded heart, and not to "fix" your penis. Sure, try some of the options we are proposing to heal - it might work! But no VED, pill or surgery would make you feel whole again.

Frankly, if I were a surgeon, I would be very reluctant to operate on you because of the high likelihood of disatisfaction with the result. Think of a woman who "has to have" breast implants. Many of us might think "well she really could have been fine if she has just learned to love her small breasts". Yet when it is our own penis, we lose such a perspective.

So my point is that there is a surgical option for you if you HAVE to have surgery. Now that the "safety net" is there, why not try to figure out how to have a relationship with a woman?

I am with a delightful woman and she would be willing to stand by me while I had such a surgery if I needed it. I feel great sadness that she never got to make love to me when I was "whole", and could do more than I can really do now.

I think your first need is to go after the erectile dysfunction very aggresively to find out why you have a problem. If it is profound and real (ie untreatable with medications), that might help you make a choice to go for a more surgical answer sooner. If you want a surgeon for your problem consider the first author of the article I referenced.

Tim

Hi Tim
Thanks again.
About the psychological issue you are quite right.however I DO have REAL SEVERE ORGANIC ED (AS A RESULT OF THE Peyronies Disease).I have been to urologists and have undergone tests to prove it.believe me I am not that quitter.....

As to now,except for the psychological affect (of which you are 100% correct),there are the following options for me :
1.to have a relationship under those circumstances ,which underlines that I would have to pass the stage of telling a woman about it and coping with what  I have lost,while I am with her.

2.The implant option (coping with the size issue and to come to terms with the fact I would have a kind of a pump inside my body - but this is the least to deal with comparing to the fears of a failure of the process or the healing process),

3.VED  (and coping with the need to pump in front of a new girl - which I don't know how pass this , i.e how to pass the embarrassment )

I do not discharge your claim about the emotional issues at all. it is a challenge to go through,I am not underestimating it. it is one of the biggest problems.

My main issue is what to do next. I will go to a psychologist soon.then again I have to figure out what to do about the options I have mentioned above,which is an awkward issue by itself.

Best wishes,and thanks again
YoungPD

youngPD:

Well now, size does not always mean satisfaction to a woman. I once had my girl friend tell me that she would rather die "reaching up for it" instead of dying backing away from it. The moral of her statement is that in an old Southern USA term, it is how you use what you brought to the party. Size has become a dominant feature of most men's idea about sex, their ability to perform and what size they have.

I am here to tell you that size has its place, but should not be the dominant factor in one's sexual life. Of course, it is our nature to want bigger and better penises, but you have to be satisfied with with was given you. Losing some of it due to Peyronies Disease can be devastating to one's ego, but you have to overcome that too and move on.

Now to answer you about the implant. Again, I would highly recommend that you get at least two opinions from the best qualified Peyronies Disease surgeons available before making a final decision. I have only been affiliated with guys who had great success with their implants. Others have stated that it was the worst decision they ever made. Since it is not reversible, you should make a very careful decision about that surgery.

Hope this helps, but you have to make the final best decision and probably the gravest one you will ever need to make. We are here to help, so feel free to let us know if there is anything we can do.

Old Man

I think I am going to move the last several posts to "Surgery".

Thank you Old man.
The way through which you always offer a shoulder and help people like me (in many forums),with such a great listening ability and patient,  is really admireable.I appreciate it.

I am going to see another expert soon.
By the way,did you have serious fibrosis when you started using the VED for sex.can it worsen the progression of the Peyronies Disease ?
I Have some pains in the left side of the testicles sac if I masturbate more then few minutes. do you have an idea how to fight that part ?
Thanks for everything
YoungPD

youngPD:

Yes, I had serious fibrosis and a very bad curve downward and to the right when I started using the VED. It took a bit more than 6 months to get rid of most all the sypmtoms. Was left with only a small area that is hardly noticeable by examining the area. I have no problem with erections using the VED. Since I have had a radical prostotectomy that left me impotent, I can only achieve erections with the VED.

The pain in the testicles can be caused by many factors, so it can be related to the Peyronies Disease symptom or it cannot be related. Only a qualified uro with experience with Peyronies Disease and related sypmtoms would be able to diagnose the problem. In my case I had pain in the testicles, but it went away when I started the VED exercises, but I am not sure what made the change.

You will just have to experiment with various treatments in that area to determine if you can find something that will work for you.

Old Man

youngPD

DON'T DO IT

Let me just throw out another idea that may not have been thought of yet.  Yes the implant's seem to be primarily successful.  But......even if you have a successful surgery you will still have to get it changed out.  Even successful implants have to be changed every 10 years or so.  If your young....that could be 7-8-9 times that you have to get surgery again.

Now I'm not saying that implant is a bad idea because of that, but by all means do your list 1-3-2 (Tell a girl, show her the VED, then consider surgery) but explore ALL of your options first.  Let me tell you, having had a worthless surgery, paying over 10 thousand dollars I didn't have for nothing, losing like an inch and a half for no good reason, having my skin re-attached crooked (which pulls my flaccid penis crooked), having an extremely poor-ugly-obvious scar line, a bad suture which ruptured causing a ridiculous amount of pain, and i still have some pain during erections and can play with the broken suture as it hangs around inside of my penis.

I don't say all of that to complain randomly.  When I finished the doctor said that a majority of the problems came because I had the wrong surgery.  I've eexperienced all of this when I didn't need to, and because I had the wrong surgery.  I'm no better of because of this.

While the implant surgery may be fairly simple and successful quite often.  You might be happy right now.  But what happens if they cure this crap 30 years from now?  There is NO going back from any surgery.  I'd give either (not both) of my testicles to go back and cancel the surgery, and I'm not being sarcastic, but I can't do that.  if they cure it in the future, you will be stuck with the implant and be kicking your self.

SO long story...long....I'm not saying never do the surgery, but at least try first.  In this case you will have to either: Explain Peyronies Disease, Show her the VED, or show her the pump which is inside you.  IT's gonna bee awkward no matter what.  So at least go out with ONE girl.

I don't care (and I shouldn't say this as a pastor, and much of the men here will disagree, but it's I'm only half serious.  My intention is what matters)  if you have to go pick up some drunk girl at a bar.  Or take out that fugly who sits behind you in math class who's been in love with you since high school.  Whatever you need to do to try.  Either with or without the VED.  But at least try once before the surgery.  It may be hard, but if the surgery is unsuccessful you will regret not tryign for the rest of your life.

I know I'm opiniated.  Sorry.  but from my experience.  I don't care if you get the surgery....just TRY AHEAD OF TIME, and do all of your research!

Hope that helped in some way...

let me know if i mis spoke or if you wanna know abotu something....that i might know about lol

Dear readers,
    I'm only an 18-year old High School senior, and I have recently had suspicions that I might have Peyronie's Disease.  I have not been clinically diagnosed by a Urologist yet, but I have an appointment in two days to confirm my depressing hunches.
    My ex-gf and I were on the verge of becoming very intimate (NOTE: I'm still a virgin), but I was soon to find out it wasn't even possible for me to perform intercourse.  This threw me into an acute and short bout of depression, in which I furiously researched the internet for answers to my problem.  I ended up learning of something called "Peyronie's Disease".  Well, this was a few months ago, and ever since I've still been researching day and night or whenever I really have the time.
    Thinking about a dark and very unintimate future makes me feel depressed and occassionally consider doing things very irrational and unreasonable.  I've been accepted to UMiami and will hear from UFlorida in a month, but college sounds like it will be filled with unfulfilled dreams and just observing my friends with their "great" successes with women.  I'm too embarrassed to tell my parents, friends, or anyone about my possible diagnosis of Peyronie's Disease, possible ED and Impotence, and some sort of congenital curvature that may or may not be caused by Peyronies Disease.  I did tell my mom, which is the first step to betterment.  She's scheduled an appointment with a Urologist, although, I was too embarrassed to even tell her why and was hesitant to make an appointment, but I convinced her eventually to have me go this Wednesday...
    It sucks to find out there is NO cure or treatment that is effective for Peyronies Disease, ED/Impotence, or congenital curvature (I have a very sharp degree of curvature going downwards; 60degrees downwards if "straight out" were to be 0degrees).  Actually, it's really depressing to think about how f'~c<+d up my future will be if I am plagued with all of these, which at the moment, I DO have 2 out of the 3 listed above (Peyronies Disease, ED/Impotence, and curvature).
    After a recollection of my thoughts and what I've typed so far, it seems like this has been a waste and I'm just a bleeding heart venting my feelings and story...  Well, that is the point of this forum, yes?  Well, I guess I feel a little better reading everyone elses depressing stories of Peyronies Disease, but I'M ONLY 18 YEARS OLD!    I thought I was normal ever since I was 12-years old, but I was to soon find out I am abnormal --- downward 60degree curvature, can't hold an erection unless constant stimulation, and I can't even have sex.  I hear sex can make or break relationships.  I hear it doesn't matter.  I don't know.  I'm young, unexperienced, naieve, and stupid compared to older and wiser men who have years of knowledge compared to my mere 18 years of existence.
   If I have Peyronie's Disease, then I'd most likely get the surgery as if it were a cure-all panacea/supplement that does godly things to your body (crappy analogy/simile).  I just want to be normal and HAPPY.  I guess I have a sufficient length (7in.) and girth (idk and idcare), but what's the point of having anything if it's not useable.  Life is cruel, but, then again, maybe I'm just acting extremely irrational due to my situation and the possible threats assumed onto my "Male Ego".
    Thanks for letting me vent.  I really appreciate it!  Hopefully my Urologist on Wednesday will have some sort of guidance for me...
                                                                                          Sincerely,
                                                                                          NickD

Dear KU

See what the uro says, and if he is a lout, then go to another one.

It is unlikely that it is all over for you in the sex department. Many men "fail" on their first attemopts to have sex, but in your case, you have a difference that seems to be the cause - but it might not be.


Hang in there and see what happens. I doubt that you will be disappointed ultimately.

Tim

You don't say a lot about yourself here but let me tell you what I know from your letter: You are very intelligent; you have good problem solving abilities; you have the support of your family; and overall from this brief letter I would guess that you are one very together 18 year old.
Educate yourself as you are doing. Keep doing everything that your instincts have lead you to.

KuMe,

One other thing to remember...nowhere is it written in stone that you have to have sex when you're 18 (or 19 or 20).  Believe it or not, there are some of us (my hand is up) who for reasons other than Peyronies Disease (shyness for instance) who never had sex until they were 30 (go see 30 Year Old Virgin for the funny version).

Don't feel rushed!  Do your research, become friends with girls (sex isn't always a requirement for a friendship) and keep a level head on your shoulders.

best wishes,
Steve

KuMe,

My young friend, welcome to the forum.  You are correct, there is wisdom here.  Not only about Peyronies Disease but about life.  It did not come easy so listen to it carefully.  

First, if you have been this way since 12 years old, it is very likely that you do not have Peyronies Disease.  You possibly have congenital curvature which is not a progressive or worsening condition.  It is important that you see a very good urologist.  While you look at the depressing aspects of your age, it also works in your favor.  You have a lot of time to resolve this.  Your lack of maintaining an erection my have nothing to do with your physical condition.  The normal stress of a first attempt may have lead to many of your difficulties.

Your greatest threat to happiness and peace of mind is suffering alone in silence as you research every worst case scenario.  I have been there and done that in my youth.  I won't bore you with details, but as a young teenager I convinced myself I had syphilis with no real evidence.  My shallow exploit was not even worthy of an STD    I then read pre-cure era medical journals (antiques) and looked at the photos of advanced brain lesions.  I was afraid to confide in anyone.  With intense research, I succeeded in making my life a hell that overshadowed every joyful moment for two years or more.  I was robbed because I got pulled into a fanatical, self-defeating cycle.

Do not suffer this in silence - You have made good first steps.
Do not rush to find a quick medical solution from a mediocre urologist.
Do not assume you know your fate, your prognosis, your options, or even your actual current condition.

Even with a worst case scenario, you have tremendous life options to bring total fulfillment and joy.
You have real hope of huge medical advances.
You have options for intimacy that you cannot even imagine at this point.
Focus and prioritize.

You are clearly intelligent.  Make this work for you, not against you. Do not allow a physical problem become a psychological catastrophe.  This is a time in which you have many important areas to focus on in your life while this is calmly sorted out.  Excel in these areas and refrain from a defeatist attitude that becomes far worse, and is a far bigger threat to you than your condition.  If it so happens that you have to refrain from shallow college sex, you will survive.  If you refrain from study, social interaction, and building relationships you will not fare so well.

Best regards

Hawk

All I need and want to say for now is, "WOW".  You guys are great...  A really hastey and friendly response.  I think I was just having an overly dramatic phase/bout of depression...  Today I feel pretty happy, I guess.  And, if I really think about it there probably isn't anything REALLY wronog with me.  I could probably ahve sex, but it would be extremely difficult and painful, lol.  Actually, after typing that sentence that sounds like it sucks.  damit.  Thanks for all the support and friendliness...  I'll be back on later.  Cya.
                                                                                                  -KuMe988

Dear Kume

All the other wonderful guys here have already done the job for me,nonetheless,as someone who has been coping with severe peyronie for more then 2 years,though not always successfully, I have to tell you : thats not an easy game to play, but you got to be strong and tough here - you have no choice,mate,otherwise it will eat you alive.you got to fight back every day.depression is the main enemy,not impotence,believe me.being impotent in my case,wasn't as harmfull as the following deep depression I had to carry along with me.

Sorry to repeat the good old proverb : "when the going gets tough,the toughs get going".speaking about being a man ,this is our real challenge in life.the place and time to show we can really represent with respect and honor all the hidden meanings the word "man" stands for ,and it has nothing to do with our penises.

Most admirable men of whom I have studids in my life ,were men with brave spirit who went through miseries which are ten times worst then ours.
Look at Stephen Hoking. he is a real man for me. look at many others,they are coping ,struggling ,never give up the fight.
Yes mate .it's indeed a tough one.you here it from a guy who lost everything in 2 years .I lost the parties,the girls,my business,huge savings - everything. but guess what ,my friend : I have never lost my spirit. yes,I have moaned some days,I have asked the stupid questions of : "why me ?" or "what have I done to deserve this " or other self pity patterns that leads you to absolutely nothing but a gloom at the end of the day.

As someone who can not have a firm erection without constant hand stimulation ,as someone who has lost more then an inch in length and the like in girth ,I will give you some very important advices how to run this battle:

1.NEVER, I REPEAT, NEVER isolate yourself from society. I did it at the beginning. but not anymore.it is a life killer to do so. go out and see some friends to keep your mind busy and normal and healthy,as your mind is basically what you are ,not your penis.your mind is your existence.
1.1 - KEEP YOURSELF AS BUSY AS POSSIBLE.it will first of all provide you with a sense of vitality and may regain your youth spirit. moreover,it will keep you on track regarding other issues in your life,rather then halting it all.

2. Focus on a "can-do" attitude. many many people are mainly moaning (like myself...at least until lately) about the things they can't do,and thereby they lose the vision of real other optional routes they can still chose and enjoy.
For example you may not see all your other great options in life.

Yes,mate,some DAYS IT IS REALY DEVASTATING,but then again,this is your chance in life to prove yourself what you are made of,and I am not kidding.you couldn't have had tougher challenge then this.

Today I tell myself what I ask you to tell yourself too,whenever you are in  depression (try to apply this formula in your life) :"to make your best effort to change things which are changeable in your life,accept things which are not changeable,and I wish you would have the wisdom to distinguish between the two" - this is kind of a very well known proverb.some will say it's a slogan,however it indeed helped me thinking at the right direction whenever I have been down.

3.Last advice I can give you is to help others. it does help when you do it.I volunteer in a place in which I help people with learning difficulties and somehow it helps me to see that I still have a good roll in this world.


Your life may be different then before but not necessarily with less value .

You are mostly invited to write to my personal e-mail whenever you want to vent or even to have a chat.

My e-mail: [email protected]

Best regards and keep your head up
YoungPd

One comment:  GO GATORS!

Good Luck!  You will love Gainesville.  Forget that "M" University .

BTW, see a urologist before getting too worried.

Liam

Hello,
I've contemplated over the last week or so as to whether I should even write this post, but I thought, "Hell if I can't talk to you guys about it, then who can I talk to." Let me explain. Those of you who've known me for a while know my situation, but for those who don't I'll briefly explain. First, I'm single, in mid forties and not dating anybody. Almost from the onset of my Peyronies Disease, curvature was never really a major problem. I had some curvature, but nothing major. After about 1-2 years from the onset of Peyronies Disease, it started becoming apparent erection quality was going to be the main problem with my Peyronies Disease and has continued. I'm basing my lack of erection quality on morning erection and masturbation. Based on these two things, my erections are not good at all. Not enough to have intercourse! Since it has been some time since I've actually had sex, I actually really don't know how my erection quality would be. I don't know if the erection quality would be better if I were with a woman. I just don't know?

The reason I've not had sex for so long is due to a few things, but the major factor is anxiety (what if I can't perform) caused by my Peyronies Disease. Also embarrassment (how big or should I say small will I be) also caused by my Peyronies Disease. Before I got this nasty-cruel-screwed- up disease, I was quite the Playboy or Casanova. No problems bedding the women!! And I was with many. Sometime I think this is why I got this disease, God is punishing me for my promiscuous ways. But that's for another post. Back to what I was talking about.

Here's the deal. There is a girl named Debbie I've known for about 3 1/2 years. It is very apparent to me and to others she has a thing for me. To make a long story short, we made a bet on a football game last year. Whoever won would have to take the other to dinner of their choice. I won and just kidding chose a restaurant that is about 150 miles from where we live. However she agreed and said no problem. Even though it's been a year since the bet, she brings it up every 3-4 weeks and says, "when are we going?" This would obviously be an overnight stay and well I don't have to tell you the rest. Now to let you know, I strongly believe she would have no problem just having a casual night of sex with no attachments afterwards. I would make sure of this before hand, but as I said I'm sure she would be fine with it. Yes, I do think she would like it if something did develop out of it, but it is not something she would assume. In case you are wondering, no she's not a whore or loose or anything. We're just friends and she as a thing for me. Here's my dilemma:

Here are the scenarios if I go on the trip.
1) **GOOD**    I surprise myself and perform and learn I can at least achieve a strong enough erection to have sex. Not like before my Peyronies Disease, but better than I expected. Everything between Debbie and me is fine, we had a nice time and who knows maybe will do it again. This way I get some confidence back and know my lack of erection quality based on morning erections or masturbation was incorrect.

2) ** BAD**  I'm not able to perform; however, I won't know if the reason was because of
   a] my Peyronies Disease -or-
   b] was it because I don't really have a strong attraction to Debbie including sexual
       attraction (which I don't, but she's OK ) combined with this kind of "it's time to
       perform pressure on myself." Anotherwords, I was not relaxed and enjoying it,
       but instead thinking will I be able to or won't I. We all pressure is not a good
       thing in the sex department.
  c]  a combination of both a & b

If I were not able to perform I might be risking coming back more screwed up psychologically than before. On the other hand, it may turn out good and I'll come back feeling great. If your wondering about how I would handle it with Debbie if I was not able to have sex. I don't know, I can't lie to the forum, I'd probably just tell her I think it was because of some medication I was taking. Plus, let's not kid ourselves, it's not a rare thing for a guy in his mid-forties to have some performance problems from time to time and she's just 3 years younger than me and I'm sure she has experienced it before. I can't say I'm not concerned about that at all; being in that situation and not being able to perform. Of course I am, what guy wouldn't be. But I could handle that. My main issue is how it would possibly compound my psychological Peyronies Disease issues. This could really help me or it could be bad. I don't know!!

For any of you guys who may be thinking, "You mean you are just going to use this girl?" NO I'm not. I would not do that to a friend. As I said, I would make sure she understood before we leave or do anything that is does not mean I'm interested in a relationship with her. That she knows we are just going to have some fun and we'll see what happens. Trust me, I know her and I'm about 95% sure she'll be fine with that.

SO I NEED SOME ADVICE HERE GUYS!!!. SHOULD I CHANCE IT AND GO ON THIS TRIP OR WHAT?

Rzz:

Debbie sounds like a good friend and a nice person.

If not now, when?  If not with Debbie, then with who?

Rzz my friend, my above statement pretty much says it all except; since ED is your biggest concern, it is the most easily treatable.  Take a levitra and it will enhance your erection (call your doc and get a sample).  If you cannot get a levitra, then take:

2 Horny Goat weed capsules and 3000 mg of L-arginine.  It will have a subtle but noticeable effect on your erection and is very safe. (Assuming your ticker can stand sex)

I agree with Hawk.  If not now, with an understanding and willing friend, then you'll never get the courage with a 'casual stranger'.  I say go for it and let the chips fall as they may.  I'll be willing to bet that she'll have a very positive attitude that'll put your concern to rest.  As for the Levitra/Horny Goat Weed  (do goats get horny on weed?)...it couldn't hurt!

  Gas up the 'Vette and go! Leave the performance anxiety at home (I know, I know... easy to say, hard to do) and enjoy the company of this gal. This sounds like two friends taking off on a cool road trip... it's not a study on your ability to perform (damn, I wish we could call it something besides "perform"... we're not in a circus for cryin' out loud). Go. Enjoy! She's not going to have a performance report card tucked somewhere to be filled out later. I think you have a blessing waiting 150 miles away!

Angus:

We could call it "successfully making out".

Old Man

I'm not going to pretend to know the pressure you are putting on yourself in the "performance" area, but I do know a thing or two about how this woman would react if things did not turn out if you weren't able to achieve your goal.
The words that stood out the most to me in your post were "If your wondering about how I would handle it with Debbie if I was not able to have sex. I don't know, I can't lie to the forum, I'd probably just tell her I think it was because of some medication I was taking." Why lie to her? If she is as good a friend as you state, she can handle the truth.
Secondly, I'm not passing judgment in any way,  so please don't take this in that way, but...
I don't care how old women are, if we are attracted to a man,  we don't appreciate a guy trying out his magic wand on us with no thought to our feelings. Women who have an " attraction" may say they are fine with a one nighter, with no commitments, but it isn't true, not down deep where the emotions reach our soul.
Having said that, if my husband had not been willing to drive 750 miles, many times,  he wouldn't have me as his wife today, no matter how much I love him. So I say be up front with her before you ever leave, then if she still wants to, go have a fun dinner/weekend, enjoy each others company and see what evolves.

Changes in the size of the penis can happen with Peyronies Disease over time.  We all know the different treatments.  

One thing that cannot happen is instantaneous, or even overnight, shrinkage.  We all worry about it and gradual size loss may happen, God forbid.  But, if you think you noticed it get smaller, in a very short time, its temporary.  There is no way for tissue to permanently change size (mass) quickly.

I hope this eases some minds.

Liam

I want this to come across in a kind way.  I honestly want to help.

Organic ED means there is a physical reason an erection cannot be achieved or maintained.  In numerous posts you have stated "manual" stimulation will maintain your erection.  If you can maintain an erection during masturbation, the cause of your ED is more than likely psychological.  A physical (organic) cause would not discriminate as to the source of the stimulation.  However, your mind will.  This is why some women are considered "sexy".  That concept is in your mind as  all women have the same physical parts.

Almost all your posts have mentioned masturbation or self stimulation.  You seem, to the outside observer, to be obsessed (and possibly compulsive) with it.  A good psychologist or psychiatrist can be of great help.  Even if you don't think this applies to you, a mental health professional will help.  I have included an article from the Mayo Clinic (I underlined parts):

Compulsive sexual behavior

ARTICLE SECTIONS
Introduction
Signs and symptoms
Causes
When to seek medical advice
Complications
Treatment


Signs and symptoms
Sexual behavior becomes a problem and is considered compulsive when it's repeated often enough to interfere with your normal daily living and with your relationships. If your sexual behavior is compulsive, you may display it in a number of ways, including:

Having multiple sexual partners or extramarital affairs
Having sex with a succession of anonymous partners or prostitutes and treating them as objects to be used for sex
Using commercial sexually explicit phone lines and Internet chat rooms
Engaging in excessive masturbation
Using pornographic materials frequently
Engaging in masochistic or sadistic sex, such as experiencing sexual excitement by inflicting or receiving pain during sex
Exposing yourself in public
Often feeling compelled to engage in sexual activity when you're stressed, anxious or depressed
People who are sexually obsessed can be married and appear to live otherwise normal lives, though they may have difficulty establishing and maintaining emotional intimacy.

Sexually obsessive behavior tends to be chronic, intense and beyond your control. Although you may seek gratification through sexually compulsive behavior, you're unlikely to achieve fulfillment over the long term. In fact, you may feel that your life is becoming increasingly empty. People with compulsive sexual behavior often use sex as an escape from other problems, such as loneliness, depression, anxiety or stress.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/compulsive-sexual-behavior/DS00144/DSECTION=2

YoungPD, I am also young and have Peyronies Disease at the age of 23. My Peyronies Disease might not be as severe as yours but I think Peyronies Disease has taught me a few lessons. For instance im not just looking for the next hot girl at a party to hook up with because im embarrassed. In some ways I think God may have gave me this so I could find a girl that truely accepts me. I think at your age a girl that really likes you will accept your condition because true love is hard to find. If I was you I would not dwell on your Peyronies Disease as it tends to make it worse, try some different treatments but do not focus everything around Peyronies Disease. When I first truely knew I had Peyronies Disease (when my growing dent started appearing) I was really depressed and thought my life was over. Now I just pray for a cure and im about to try VED treatment. I myself really want to find a good girl but im certainly not looking because of my Peyronies Disease, I figure I will find the right girl by accident and things will work out if its mean't to be. This condition has really changed me in many ways, in good ways actually. I feel if I can get rid of my Peyronies Disease that I can do anything. Most guys would go crazy with something like this man, so if we can figure out a effective treatment then we will be way stronger mentally then alot of guys. I got Peyronies Disease as a side effect from a medication many years ago. Anyways man I know you have heard this before but if a girl really likes you then she will accept your condition, if shes shallow she will not. Thats the way im thinking right now and it has helped my mental health greatly. Just know nothing is uncurable and we just got to put together the puzzle. Hope this helped a little.

Fellas,

Believe me when I tell you that Peyronies disease is no easier on a 40-something male than it is on you guys. I guess a good way to explain it is to imagine if a sibling close to you in age died in your 20s vs. it happening in your 40s; it would still be an awful hurt. Sure, I may have had the opportunity to experience more sexual encounters than you have in the additional 20 years, and I have been married, but Peyronies Disease is a life-altering disease no matter when it strikes.

Let me tell you guys and others my recent experience: My wife filed for divorce and I quit my job and left town (it was her hometown). I went to live with my sister who thought I was depressed because of the divorce, and she was constantly trying to hook me up with groups of friends when I wanted to take some time to myself. They were mainly church groups and believe me; the women in church like sex as much as those who don't attend.

Of course my sister didn't know about my Peyronies Disease. I'm guarding that secret with my life.

Things soured after a couple of months of me hibernating and failing to find what I thought was a suitable job for a man with my experience. I went to visit other relatives on a Holiday and they invited me to stay with them in one of the nation's most progressive metro areas. What did I do that for? I was related to the female in the couple and her husband took me to every strip club in town. He was always taking me bars and although he is a professional man, he talked sex all the time. I guess he figured that a handsome, recently divorced man should be pursuing women. His wife's best friend was available and he tried his darndest to hook us up. He had a gorgeous cousin he was always pushing me to take out. I would make excuses such as, "They are too close to the family and I wouldn't want the relationship to sour and have it affect you all". Actually, I didn't want them to tell him and his wife that they weren't interested because I have a 70-80 degree right-bend with a calcified plaque that doesn't allow my penis to penetrate very far and hurts when they thrash, because it pulls the plaque.  

All of this pressure to date/mate (the women were menless and sex would have been inevitable) affected my relationship with them. I went there because I have a very good relationship with my cousin and I wanted to get to know her children from her second marriage, and to begin life anew.

Soon, they apparently came to the conclusion that I was gay and they began to make little remarks about people on the down-low and things like that. I left when that kind of stuff begain. I'm still unemployed (you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get a job after 40 if you don't already have one).

So here I am with a divorce not even a year old, jobless and living off 401-k money and afraid to go home because the men in my family are absolute cavemen. They would harass me to no end about not pursuing women (we have a couple of gay male relatives and they are always the topic of discussion). I guess I could tell them about my Peyronies Disease, but it's too embarassing. I also feel like my medical conditions are my own and I should be able to keep them private if I choose to do so.

I'm presently living with a woman whom I met through the job while I was married, and though we have become intimate I can tell that it's not a situation that she will want to maintain long-term. In other words, she is being nice until I get my employment situation together.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my experience. I guess none of us has it easy because in this society so much of our manhood is tied to our penises.

We're still luckier than a lot of people; at least Peyronies Disease is not fatal like cancer or HIV.  

Boodoo.

Don't lose hope on finding a relationship with a female who will consider the more important things in a man that what he can give to her sexually.  We are out there....you just have to find us!

If you are honest, open, loving, and genuine with the right women in ALL areas (again, not just speaking of sexual matters), you will find the right one and a truly loving relationship will grow and bring happiness you your life once again.  You just have to have the faith that it will happen.

I will keep you in prayer for the employement situiation as well, as you are right.....after 40 it is a hard thing to start over in the workplace if you dont' have an established reputation in your trade.    Hope something breaks for you soon in that arena.

Blessings to you.

Christine

Bodoo, I really want to tell you that Christine is right on the mark in her advice.  I would further add that in any setting, but especially in a church setting, you should ONLY have to tell people that "you are not interested in entering a relationship" at this point in your life, no further explanation necessary.  Anyone pressing for a further explanation HAS A PROBLEM and DOES NOT DESERVE AN ANSWER.  If a significant number of people at the church in question bother you in this way, YOU NEED TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER CHURCH.  Those who attend church in order to find mates and/or matchmake people are there for all the wrong reasons and no church should pander to these people.  Church is a place people go to find spiritual nourishment.  If one finds other blessings there, thats OK of course, but it IS NOT the purpose and those who try to make it the purpose are in need of correction.  IT IS OK TO BE SINGLE AND TO DESIRE TO BE SINGLE AND IT DOESN'T INDICATE THAT ONE IS 'GAY'.   You very correctly point out the pain that older men experience as a result of Peyronies and also how cruel spouses and women in general can be to them.  I would add that women face much the same problem in our sex crazed world.  How often do women have problems during menopause, only to be dumped by the brute they made the mistake of marrying?  It should really make us all examine ourselves in terms of where our values are.  Sometimes the way we act when we are 'whole' does not take into account the fact that what we have can quickly be taken away by a cruel turn of fate and leave us the victim.  Only then do we realize the abuse and pain we perhaps inflicted on others before we ourselves fell victim to it.  But there are men and women out there, as Christine notes, that are able to love you for who you are, without regard to your disabilities.  They are worth waiting for.  Ignore the rest, they are not worth a response.

- George

BoDoo,,,George is right and and it couldn't have been said or put any better. You are also getting good advise from Christine....Here we are all talking from experience, it's our place here as the older generation to help counsel the younger men with good sound advise...We do it because we care, a lot of us we're given wise counsel when we we're young and now it's our turn to do the same....

I was married at 18 and my wife was 16 and next month we will celebrate our 43rd yr together,,,we have been through a lot and have stayed the course. By the way,,i met my wife at church camp when she was 13 and started going with her and 3 yrs later we got married and we're both virgins..

I guess i'm trying to say,,be patient and ask God for the right person and he will provide and you will know that it will last....Also,,put your trust in God for your employment,,"He created you and he always makes provision for everything he creates"....

Hang in there, it's gonna get better,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,kimo

Dar Bodoo (for some reason, I hear Peter Sellers saying "...if that really is your name...")

You have been given good advice. Moreover, you are doing better than many men in your position would do. You have insight and compassion, most of all for yourself, and that will stand you in good stead. Time will heal your heart, and a year after a divorce is too early to plan or try for an intimate relationship.

In terms of young men thinking about starting a relationship, I find it interesting that you state that you have "become intimate" with the woman with whom you now live. I take it that you mean that you have had sex, but that you do not see that persisting past the time that you stay with her. So it seems that on some level you have gambled (perhaps you started for "lowered stakes" by getting together with someone you did not think would last forever) and taken a chance and revealed your Peyronies to a woman. That is brave! (but not that brave...)

I would like to hear more about that if you would care to share. It seems guys are forever stating that they cannot imagine starting a romantic relationship (ie sex), and yet somehow we do. If you were able to become sexual with this woman, how did it affect your thoughts about other women? Again, I am not arguing that you should get back in a marriage - just wanting to hear more about how it felt and how it worked for you in this romantic realm.

For me, here is how it went. I have a 20-30 degree upward bend in the last third. *I* know my penis is about 1.5-2.0 inches shorter, and thinner, than it was when I was twenty - but when I got naked with my current partner for the first time, she did not know that. So I was in a position of dealing with the emotional response of and to a woman, naked (and may I say that she was and is hot!) for the first time, who disrobed her man and found a 5.5-6.0 inch long penis with a curve.

And do you know what happened? We made love and it was incredible. Later, maybe weeks later, I told her my story. I felt a bit weird, like I was a surfer saying "You shoulda been here last week when the surf was REALLY good!". But, nevertheless, she listened, and felt my pain, and reassured me that I was all she had ever wanted in her life. I can still believe that I can be me, and with a bigger and straighter dick, and I will be better. But I also have to live with what is - and that says I have a penis that works (for now) and that can allow me to please and be pleased sexually with my partner. That first time, it made me nervous, but I dealt with that by turning the lights out and making sure she was, um, ready.

So, Bodoo, I am interested in how it was that you have struggled (as any recently divorced man would) with avoiding sex with potential "perfect partners" but did start an intimate relationship with a woman with whom you were comfortable. How did that feel? Is that something that you would be willing to share with others?

Tim

Tim,

The woman/good friend is allowing me to pay room and board while I study for a certification, which means I do not have to spend hours everyday sending out resumes and cover letters like I did when I stayed with family. My family didn't understand what I was trying to do. They thought I was being lazy, despite the fact that I have a 27-year work history.

She is a really good friend and I trusted her enough to tell her about my Peyronies Disease. We have become intimate, but of course it is not like the sex I had before Peyronies Disease. I hesitate to use the term casual sex, because I have known her for years and we were friends long before the intimacy.

My intentions were to live with her while I study for my certification, pass it and find a job. In other words, I never intended to have relations or a relationship with her, but that is what sometimes happens when consenting adults live together.

She said that I don't have anything to worry about sexually, but I think she is being nice.  


The other, younger women that I mentioned in the previous email are another story. They were too close to the family for my liking. Suppose the sexual part of the relationship wasn't satisfying and my relatives wanted to know why things did not work out? I was worried that the women would reveal my situation to my cousins (in confidence of course   ) and I was trying to guard against that. The women in church groups also tend to gossip; it's human nature and I was trying protect myself there too. I'm sure you can understand that from a man who is new to the disease.

In short, I just don't want people in my inner circle to know about my Peyronies Disease yet. I want to suffer in silence while I try to figure out this life-altering condition. I also don't want anyone to label me as "pitiful" and feel sorry for me.  


I can't wait for my Bostonpump to arrive (how long did yours take to arrive).

Thanks for the support.

Your words are very comforting.

Dear Bodoo

I have had to change my inner circle of friends when it did not meet my needs. I have distanced myself from toxic family members when they prevented me from meeting my own needs.

It is encouraging that you are able to have sex with your friend. You might want to reassess what she says, and ask yourself if it is true that she is lying to you when she says that you have nothing to worry about sexually - it might be true! Why tell yourself something negative when she is saying something positive? (Answer - it is called depression).

Hang in there.

Tim

Thanks Tim,

Do you mind telling me if you had to change your circle of friends because of Peyronies Disease, and if so, why?

Dear Bodoo,

At first glance, I thought, well, no, I did not have to change my circle of friends because of Peyronie's Disease. Certainly not in the way that you are talking about - for you I meant that you might need to work on spending time with people who are real and kind and alert and mindful to reality, instead of people who are focused on "making you feel better".

When I got divorced, I had friends who tried to set me up, and I was nervous as hell. My ex-wife was understanding, but a NEW woman? Yikes! So I over compensated as I have often done in my life. I sought out mindless sex out of a fear that I could not get anything. I had to finally reject those in my life who were shallow and supported that lifestyle, to find those with whom I could connect on a deeper basis. So in a way, I have gradually changed with whom I associate, because I do not have time to live life with those who are not life affirming and positive.

Tim

Even thouugh I haven't been asked to answer ,I will contribute my opinion and experience ,at least regarding to social issues like friends circle.

I think it's an individual based decision which depends on the severity of your Peyronies Disease and the extent to which one may be already impotent or intimidated when it comes to being with a woman in bed provided he couldn't perform. some will still go for it ,regardless to their impotence whatsoever ,and some wouldn't.

Those questions may definitely play a major role in determining whether one will keep his previous life style and friends or not ,especially in cases of which most of his friends were into parties ,hooking up ,bars ,clubs and the like.
especially if friends used to see you every now and then surrounded with nice girls.(like in my case before having had Peyronies Disease)

When my Peyronies Disease has come to the stage of impotence and a fair amount of fibrosis ,I have indeed had to gradually avoid,in a more or less evasive ways, the people who used to surround me. I became less friendly and less of a party boy,so to speak.

I kind of lost the lion part of my stamina and joy.
I still have some friends in front of whom I will never confess my issue ,so it really is kind of a weird ridiculous "fake and make"  friendship ,while I tell lies and avoid  situations ,in which my real secret may be exposed in public (when chances with girls are all around my space).many times during those years I have thought of telling about it to someone, but then again ,I figured out I would never be able to expose my state of impotence to nobody ,no matter how close he might be,let alone the reluctance to get the pity sight of people. no thank you - I can do without.

This is only my life and point of view ,not implying in any sort of way to be either righteous or to say this is the way to cope. it's just my never-chosen but constrained way to react to this realm of living with Peyronies Disease and impotence.

Best wishes to you all

I am NOT trying to be insulting.  You should seek a professional in the mental health field.  Your recent post are absurd.  The symptoms you describe need to be addressed by a psychiatrist or phychologist.  Please get help.  This is the same advice I would give a family member.  We want you to take care of yourself physically and mentally.

Good Luck!

Liam

Does anyone have a wife or girlfriend that has a really high sex drive?

I know this sounds like a stupid thing to complain about but sometimes i wish my longtime girlfriend was like the stereotypical married woman, only wanting it once a month etc. My gf would have it every day if she could.

I have had  peyronies for two years with no ED and no curve, my condition is not stable as I have a new plaque and always have pain during/after sex.

This worries me because although she is understanding of my condition now, what if we get married and then several years down the line my Peyronies Disease progresses to impotence...? How can I possibly know she will stick with me?

We are coming to the time where we need to get married or split up. I just hate that Peyronies influences this type of decision making.

Is anyone in a similar situation?

Actually, yes, I am familiar with your dilemma.

I have already (last year) lost a romantic relationship with a woman &, while I can't say that Peyronies Disease was the cause, it certainly played into her decision to start seeing other men. All of the platitudes in the world about "if she loves you it won't matter" don't mean a thing when you are hurting from a situation like that.

So the bad news is that there are women who will be sympathetic to our plight but are too fearful of its consequences to pursue a quasi-sexual life style in hopes of things changing. I can't blame them, personally. Its one thing to stay with someone that you have married or grown old together with but quite another to see that the future holds little opportunity for good old screwing on demand.

Currently, I have been dating a woman for about 5 months now who also has a very strong sex drive. She has had a history of great encounters & I would probably be intimidated even if everything worked. But the wonderful thing is, she has stayed by my side with full realization of what she must give up as much as I. Its not easy & I can tell you honestly that every time a week or so goes by that I don't see or hear from her, my paranoia kicks in & I begin thinking that she has found a lover to provide her with what I can't. Not to mention the fact that I have already been "dumped" by my previous partner when I developed Peyronies Disease. I never thought that I would have the courage it took just to tell her.

I think that the best thing you can do is to be honest with her & do your best to find other means of pleasing each other in order to satisfy that sexual hunger. In our case, we went together & picked out a few sex toys &, as humiliating as it was, I am determined for her to know that I recognize the sacrifice that she is making for me.

Frankly, I don't know what our future will be. There is no question that she wants a man who can be strong & aggresive & be inside of her regardless of the alternatives available. But she also knows that I want that equally. I have finally come to believe, however, what women have been telling us guys for centuries (probably)... "Its not the penis, dummy. Its who its attached to."

Good luck.