I don't know where else to turn.  I need some encouragement.  I am feeling so helpless and sad.  I am fighting as hard as I can to get through this and everything I've done recently but I'm losing some hope.  It's been a year and I've tried to get an erection but the pain is still there and I just don't know when it will go away.  I don't know what I can do at this point.  I tried pentox, I've tried to go see a shrink.  I have been an ass and pushed away someone who cared about me and was willing to be there for me in this.

I need to hear something to give me some hope that I will get through this and that life can go back to some level of being normal and not just anxious and sad all the time.  I still have a lot going for me but I just feel so dejected and upset.  If anyone can give me some sort of light at the end of the tunnel I will greatly appreciate it.   It's not the change in shape or difference in how I function - it's the pain and the feeling that every time I get an erection I'm still damaging myself and not healing properly.  Is there anything I need to talk to my doctor about, anything I need to do so that stops happening?  Has anyone else been through something like this?  

guyincog,

First off be assured there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Pain from Peyronies Disease almost universally stops within 2 years.  Usually much sooner.  Your best shot is pentox, ALC, and an ibuprofen.

You say you "I've tried to go see a shrink."  What does that mean?  Did you see him?  You may need someone skilled and listening to your issues and helping you chart a course to a better emotional state.  In most cases the intensity of the pain is not the issue as much as what the pain represents to you.  Please get back with me and tell me about your psychologist.

I saw a psychologist who does CBT.  He was making me write down all my fears about the disease and read it over and over until I stopped being afraid of them.  Standard 'put the person afraid of dogs in with dogs' stuff.  It was hard, I'd get a few sentences in and bawl my eyes out.  This year was so scary - when it first happened I was literally unable to sleep at all from the pain.  It's why I think I had some sort of fracture instead of a minor injury or whatever.  It was almost 8 months like that.  Today the pain is mostly gone though if I get an erection I get a 'tearing' feeling and a sharp pain.  Doctors have not given me much advice or help at all.

Guyincog

As Hawk stated, Pentox and ALC will help, including for the pain. 8 months is a long time and having pain with each erection is not fun.
If you can tolerate 3*400mg Pentox daily go on it as soon as you can, if not 2*400mg.
You can see in my signature what I am taking, have slow improvements.

James

I tried taking pentox and had a pretty bad reaction to it.  I'm not sure if it was the sleep deprivation from the pain or if it was the pills but I literally could barely get out of bed and make it to the couch.  I stopped taking the pills and within a day or two I got my energy back.

Maybe I should try again but it was not fun the first time.

Try to take 400mg Pentox in the morning with the meal for at least one week and see the results.
I mean eat half of the meal, take Pentox, continue eating.
I begin with 400mg in the morning as I am proposing you, increased to one more in the evening after the side effects had gone, in 10 days. Take it not later than 6 PM. I had again side effects, but all gone after 10 more days.
Hope it will work for you also.
I am proposing you also to add Coq10 if you are younger than 40, if older Ubiquinol and Acetyl L-Carnitine.

James

I'm really, really, REALLY not doing well.

I can't even leave my house anymore.  I am such an idiot in so many way.  I did this to myself, I broke up with someone I did care about and who was my only support.

My penis is numb, I can't even feel it anymore.  It generally just feels like it's not even there.  Then, if I jerk off or do anything it's just hours of pain afterwards.  I am trying to get help but there is just absolutely nothing that has helped...it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse.  All I can do is lie in bed and wait for night so I can sleep.

I've been trying so hard this week to push myself up and out - long walks, cooking, tidying my place, going to work - but it's all just getting to me.  I really feel I have no hope for the future.  How can I date, let alone take care of kids when I can't even get myself to work on a regular basis and I just have this anxiety from the pain or numbness all the time??

I'm at the point where I'm trying to think of the easiest way to kill myself.  I am so lost.  I just don't know what to do.

Guyincog

I understand your feeling as I came true all that  same as you and I am sure many other forum members also.
It affected and still affect my every day activity, but the best way to fight this disease from the psychological point of view is to make yourself busy.

QuoteI'm at the point where I'm trying to think of the easiest way to kill myself

Is not a solution. The solution is to fight this disease!!!
Maybe you need to reach out to a psychologist, an expert for anxiety. It helped me in the past.

James

Yup, I am reaching out.  I just feel sick ALL THE TIME and unable to cope with life.  I guess that's how depression felt.  Before this I was a pretty happy go lucky guy.

Guyincog,

While you cannot just will yourself to feel better, you can intellectually hold to the concept that this is depression.  You can say, "I am depressed.  My thinking is not clear.  I cannot make major decisions based on my current feelings or thoughts for I know these will pass.  If I cannot swim against the current, then I will just tred water until someone throws me a rope or until I get stronger no matter how long it takes"

Remember, life does not have to be perfect to be great.  Where there is life, there is hope.  You need help.

Find a GOOD psychologist or psychiatrist
Find an understanding spiritual leader and congregation that will support you.
Go to a children's ward of a hospital or a soup kitchen for the homeless and serve
Help others

You have allowed yourself to be robbed of perspective so this does not seem like one of life's problems but has been elevated and magnified to be your life.  IT IS NOT YOUR LIFE.  When you hold a small object close to your face it blocks your view of the entire planet.  It looks like the whole world, all of life is that thing.  It is an illusion.  Life and the world are still there waiting for you to step away from the object (your problem) and see it.

Good luck

Unlike many, you have already found a group that stands by you

Lift your chin, force a smile, and continue onward.

Hawk