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Author Topic: Suffering arises from wrongful attachment and expectations in life  (Read 12216 times)

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ewra

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Many things make a man. Women and men are geared up to find the best mate they can to create the most successful offspring. A man who is wealthy, intelligent, tall, physically and mentally strong, handsome, socially successful, powerful and protective is a man almost all women would want to date and reproduce with. If a man has been born with or acquired these qualities through hardships and struggles, then he will surely succeed in life where others fail.  The most important and attractive quality a man can have is the ability to succeed where others are failing. Life is hard, so we must practice to develop a tough mind that is able to break through the toughness of life. These qualities are the essence of emotional attraction and love. If a woman is beautiful, nurturing, caring and feminine, then we as men will desire to be with her as she has the qualities that are successful in women and would produce successful offspring.


When we become obsessed with Peyronies Disease it is through weakness or lack of knowledge on how to deal with hardships. Women are experts at detecting weakness and low confidence, as well as many other things. If you are weak then how can you produce offspring that will be able to survive and reproduce themselves? It seems like life on earth is programmed to strive for their genetic linage to become the most dominant and successful. When we suffer it is because we are not yet strong enough to deal with life, and if we cannot deal with life then a women surely cannot be attracted to us as we are demonstrating to women that we are not able to break down barriers and overcome lifes challenges. If you are able to overcome lifes challenges, women will take notice of that and attraction will start to build within them. I dont know if women see the magnitude of overcoming Peyronies Disease like men do, but at least they will understand that it is a challenge. Most men will not have to deal with something like this so they will not be able to prove to women as well as you can that they are mentally strong enough to not back down in the face of adversity. This is our chance to grow and develop the masculinity we all wrongly associate with our penises. 


I sometimes get down and angry about Peyronies Disease, but for the most part I just dont mind it anymore. As men we have become wrongly attached to our penises. We think it makes up a big part of who we are and our identity and masculinity. When your penis breaks and you have this mindset then you will suffer as you have lost part of who you are! No wonder so many of us sob like little boys and lose sleep over it. There is so much more to being a man than having a fully working penis. Just think of the differences between men and women! The most important and defining part of being a man is overcoming life's challenges. As I explained in the first paragraph, women seek a man that will able to succeed where others fail so that they can produce children most likely to survive and dominate the world around them. Thats just the way it is. Work on your other qualities and practice handling your emotions and desires so that you can live in peace with the things life throws at you. When you live in peace with the world and rid yourself of the desire and attachment for life to be reliable and simple then you will become happier and women will automatically be more attracted to you as you are demonstrating to them that you have genes and a toughness for surviving lifes hardships. This is far more important to women that a straight erection. From there its just a matter of patience until you find someone that can accept your Peyronies Disease like you can. If you get rejected then keep an eye on negative thoughts by remembering what I am saying before they spiral into sadness and misery. This is a skill, so you must practice this for months or years before you can do it easily. You will fail many times before you make progress. There is so much more to life and love than a penis. If a woman doesn't think this way then she is no good and you deserve better. 


When your penis is broken you have to work at understanding women and how to have loving, passionate sex. Women often complain that Men dont understand them, so forcing yourself to understand women will be another big advantage that most men just simply dont have. Few men understand how women work. Players are one type of men that understand how women work. Women may not like 'players' in the long run, but their existence is proof that women are very attracted to men that can have easily many women. 'Players' understand very well how women work and how to have good sex, and when you understand how women work and how to be attractive you too will start to be attractive to a lot of women which will greatly increase your chances of finding a good woman. When you find a good woman, the understanding of women you have developed will greatly aid in creating a lasting, loving relationship. A man that can attract many women and understands how they tick is demonstrating that he has the good genes and qualities to be sexually successful. As I mentioned above, the driving force of life, attraction and reproduction seems to stem from the goal of your own genetic line being the most dominant over the environment and the species that you belong to. If we spend enough time we can all break through lifes pain and disappointments while developing an understanding of how women work. If you can survive life and attract women better than most men, then you will become very attractive to girls. Women fall deeply in love with good quality men to ensure that they have the best partner to reproduce with. Attraction is not a choice, women and men will be attracted to the best they can get, so work hard at being the best man you can be.


Sometimes women will reject you for Peyronies Disease, but are they the type of women you want to have children with or be in love with? Be careful of how you deal with rejection: the cure for disappointment from rejection is not more hope and inappropriate attachment to the desire of finding love, it is instead learning, through much time, effort and the love of yourself, to truly understand the nature of impermanence! Everything you love and desire will cease to exist one day. Nothing lasts forever, not even our suffering. At first this is a very scary thought and you will probably want to stop thinking about it as soon as you have started. This is exactly why we suffer: we are too scared and foolish to take a deep look at the workings of life so we never free ourselves of the pain of losing things we have become wrongly attached to. Everyone one on here has lost their penis and we all suffered because of it. One of the most popular posts on here has almost 25,000 view and talks about the consideration of suicide! It is very dangerous to run away from suffering by distracting ourselves with hobbies and other parts of life. We must face reality. One day, when you have spend enough time and effort accepting the unreliability of life, you will understand that it is senseless to be so attached to things like this and you will notice the dark cloud of Peyronies Disease and other sufferings of life starting to lift week by week, and you will be so relieved of becoming free of the mental prisons we have been putting ourselves in our entire lives that you will shed tears of joy and relief. This is the moment that you will be become free of these sufferings. You will be free to live again.
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Thinking that the impermanent is permanent will always result in suffering experienced as loss.

james1947

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Re: We Suffer because of wrongful attachment and expectations in life!
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2016, 01:20:14 PM »

A very mature way of thinking at the age of 21 ewra :)
Everything you say is right, for me sometimes very difficult to accept my crocked penis even my age is 68.
And you are right 100% on:
Quote
Sometimes women will reject you for Peyronies Disease, but imo they're not the type of women you want to have children with or be in love with anyway...
I agree also that your symptoms are very much Peyronies like.

James
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Age 71, Peyronies from Jan 2009 following penis fracture during sex. Severe Erectile Dysfunction.
Lost 2" length and a lot of girth. Late start, still VED, Cialis & Pentox helped. Prostate surgery 2014.
Got amazing support on the forum

csm101

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Re: We Suffer because of wrongful attachment and expectations in life!
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2016, 02:26:40 PM »

EWRA - so well put I agree 110% thanks for taking the time to post it.
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ewra

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Re: We Suffer because of wrongful attachment and expectations in life!
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2016, 07:38:07 PM »

Thank you James and CSM101

Even though I (and all of us) wish that Peyronies Disease would go away it does force you to learn valuable life lessons that many people just wont get to learn. Learning the lesson that life is unreliable and that impermanence seeps into everything we are attached to really opens your mind and you begin to see that we are all living in these self-constructed mental prisons. I see my friends and peers suffer over nothing. They are dedicating their entire lives and efforts in the hope of achieving things that are born from wrongful desires and attachments of life. All of their happiness comes from the possibility of fulfilling these desires, so their efforts to achieve it are relentless and they are getting more and more caught up in the cycle of suffering. They have become so attached to the their expectations that when it all eventually ceases to exist they will suffer just like we do when we develop Peyronies Disease. I used to be like that back when my I didnt realize I had Peyronies. If I didnt have Peyronies Disease then maybe I would have not learnt to live properly until much later in life. I would rather have Peyronies Disease and the lessons it teaches us than no Peyronies Disease and being unaware of the reality of the life. It is hard to explain my thoughts just like how its hard to explain what being on a roller-coaster feels like. It is something that must be experienced and felt. When you feel it, you will be much more peaceful. It comes from life experience I guess.
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Thinking that the impermanent is permanent will always result in suffering experienced as loss.

JohnWright

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Re: Suffering arises from wrongful attachment and expectations in life
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2016, 10:38:16 PM »

Particularly in American male culture, it is easy to see how suicide crosses the mind. What a shallow lot we have become. Pretty sad.

The penis curves or deforms and we think the world is over.

Medical studies suggest that 11 out of every hundred men has a curve. Think about that, the next time you're in a stadium with 20,000 fans watching a game, just guesstimate that 50% of the fans are men, that means on average there are 1,000 OTHER MEN in that stadium with the VERY SAME secret -- some kind of curvature to their dick. That's a lot of guys who don't look like Mr. Perfect Porn Star.

In our own little brain, it can seem like we're alone or cast offs, but lots of guys have curves in some degree. A curve (of any source or cause) is nonetheless a curve.

What's more, there are a number of urologists who have become specialists with male sexual health, it is their specialty. Male sexual health is actually an area of medical practice in our world today, and most insurance companies pay for male sexual treatment. As I recently discovered, even female doctors have made it their mission to help men who would rather not have a curve, among other things that can affect our sexual health.

I'm 55, and have been living with a curved penis since my first erections at puberty. I've never liked it. I was embarrassed about it. When I met the woman that I wanted to marry, I disclosed the condition to her. Her reaction was priceless, "Why would I care about that? I just want you to love me and cherish me." 29 years later she's never said a word about it. She laughs with me, at my shallow embarrassment, at my jokes, at my shenanigans, e.g. I prefer to make love in the dark so I don't have to see my curve and one rare moment when we were doing the wild thing during the daytime I came running into the room, American Indian style, with a kitchen towel draped as a loin cloth over my very erect member. She laughs with me.

But, I forge on. We can be the kind of men EWRA talks about, the kind that own our challenge and the paths we forge. Man up in our approach, our thinking, and become a little less shallow. We are not a penis, we are males with a penis. Huge difference.

Or we can be little boys who impale ourselves on shallow fears, unfounded worries, and ignorance.

If you're reading this and feeling down, I want to encourage you. There is hope. But it has to start with YOU.

Here's what I learned in the year 2016 that I hope can bring you as much encouragement as I have discovered. A curved penis has the following things in common with other medical conditions:

- When you're talking to a medical provider, don't be surprised if the one you're talking to speaks like an authoritative but clueless dunce. Find a MALE SEXUAL HEALTH provider. These are board certified medical doctors who only focus on male sexual health. They've seen every bend, arch, curve, tilt, corkscrew, U-turn, or combo you can imagine. And, they live to partner with us men to achieve our goals.

- There are many medical providers on the Doctor search sites who list "Peyronie's" as a thing they treat. If you have a curved penis of any cause, you want to find a medical doctor who is actively engaged in providing treatment of Peyronie's. But, it doesn't stop there. 1) You have to own the process of being the one who is responsible for your body. 2) You interview potential providers to cull out those who don't meet the search criteria. In a separate post, I'll list the criteria I used to find not one but three male sexual health providers in the United States. There probably more, but they're not easy to find.

- You have to be a wise consumer of information. As with any other topic, other humans are quite happy (me included) to tell you what we think, how we feel, what our opinion is. The topic of curved penises is no exception. As a consumer, you have to read enough factual material from male sexual health specialists (and readily available from Google) so that when you visit a site like this Peyronie's forum, you don't get sucked into the well-intentioned but completely bogus comments that some people attempt to pass of as factual. For example, today I read these two comments, "surgery doesn't really work," and "surgery is a last resort." Lots of people have those opinions, but those are from the Dark Ages. Get current and read for yourself. There's an entire medical field now dedicated to male sexual health, curved penises especially, and it is an exciting time to be alive!!! The three male sexual health surgeons I ultimately found this year and spoke with have completed penile surgery thousands of times. And, more men are lined up. In fact, this medical specialty has been around for so long I feel like a doofus for not knowing some years back.

So, get out of the Dark Ages. Man up. Be a responsible information consumer so that you can make wise decisions, based on your very own preferences, based on real data -- not Dark Ages information floating around here or anywhere else.

About me:
- I have a 50+/- degree curve. Had it forever.
- At this point, it affects my sex life by messing with my thinking about myself, and I take generic Viagra to help get rigidity and duration. And, after pleasing my wife, I have to move into an X over my wife so that I can have a climax. It has the benefit of giving her better access to stuff, but it is still embarrassing to me.
- I went to one general practitioner, and two urologists. Their comments, in order, were, "That curve is no big deal." "Yep, Peyronie's, I can feel this huge strand of plaque right here." "Oh, for sure, Peyronie's. But, that other urologist was wrong. The plaque is right here, not over there." I visited these folks while I was doing research and gathering data, as the owner of my body. Eventually I learned they were all wrong.

As a man with a 50 degree curve and a diminishing sex life, I have more hope than ever. More to come once I reach five posts on this site.

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kuaka

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Re: Suffering arises from wrongful attachment and expectations in life
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2017, 10:54:52 AM »

We overly focus on one aspect of life.  We have taken sexuality to be the be-all end-all of life.  There is much more to life than that.

Do I want a fix?  Of course.  Will I commit suicide if I don't get one soon?  No.  Even if medical advances are too slow or I never manage to afford an implant (called the nuclear option here), I have much more to live for.
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james1947

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Re: Suffering arises from wrongful attachment and expectations in life
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2017, 12:01:41 AM »

JohnW

I don't know how I missed your post 14 months ago as at the time I was reading all of them :)
Your post is a real Master Piece :)

James
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Age 71, Peyronies from Jan 2009 following penis fracture during sex. Severe Erectile Dysfunction.
Lost 2" length and a lot of girth. Late start, still VED, Cialis & Pentox helped. Prostate surgery 2014.
Got amazing support on the forum

Stratt_mat1

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Re: Suffering arises from wrongful attachment and expectations in life
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2019, 04:22:05 AM »

Just saw this thread and am confused how people can be so bleak and negative about everything if you are on this forum, you know there are treatments that can help with whats going on and if worst case scenario you had to save up and get a penile implant that is always an option as well and will stop peyronies disease on the spot. But there are many therapies and treatments people can do here that will help and with the right treatment and enough time it seems most people  bounce back to normal sex lives again anyways. Just a temporary issue that can cause a lot of negativity if you treat it as having to go away immediately. Again even if someone needs grafting surgery, penile implant, etc. Yes its a bit anxiety inducing to some to go through major surgery. But it is a way to effectively treat and restore to having anormal functioning penis either way. Even if you lost your entire penis due to trauma. You can get a functioning penis through penis reconstruction as well. It might take grafting from your arms or legs to make, and it might look slightly different then a normal penis and feel like a big life change. But even then you would have feeling in your penis, orgasm, the ability to ejaculate, and a penile pump to have sexual intercourse all the same. There are a lot worse life altering diseases and challenges a person can go through. Something like this which has many treatments and the chance to recover to normal again is not a big deal at all in comparison. Granted you actually take action and get on treatment and do whatever it takes to help restore yourself back to normal functioning again, whatever those means may be.
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30 yrs old, peyronies diagnosis Aug 2019. Daily pentox, cialis, arginine, traction therapies. Started with dent and pain, top half penis thinned. Upward curve from pre peyronies natural left curve.  2 inch loss of length. 8 in to 6 inches. Nightmare.

Stratt_mat1

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Re: Suffering arises from wrongful attachment and expectations in life
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2019, 07:08:14 AM »

I think you oversimplify things and only read the succes stories. Many have been in this for a long time and will have problems for the rest of their lives. Most will not get the full size and shape back to what it was and most of the treatment options available now have been around for like 50 years and for all we know it stays that way for the next 50. Glad your case is minor and doesn't affect you much, but I doubt you really don't understand how this disease gets people down and insecure. It's not that hard to understand, especially considering most of the "negative" people are in their 20's.

I'm in my twenties and although my case is minor now it can easily make me insecure, what if it gets worse, or I compare myself to 90 percent of men my age who don't have this issue at all. How will I ever be able to keep a girlfriend while having this issue, if all my competition has a perfect functioning penis, the anger about dealing with something as ludulcirous as this at such a young age, being otherwise so damn healthy. The fear of what if, I have erection problems and other issues because of my initial injury and the indentation. I could worry everyday about it just getting worse and worse and never restoring my pre Peyronies penis. I have plenty of insecurities after being diagnosed with this condition and if I let it , it would destroy my confidence to the core. But I refuse to let this get me to give up after everything I've already been through in my life to this point now.

It might be difficult to reverse damage fully that was done a decade plus ago with no prior treatments or oeerhaps it makes things more difficult but not necessirely impossible ? ive heard cases that were many years long that fully recovered. There is a lot of treatments suggested here and the faster one gets on the better possible outcome is my understanding along with keeping good over all health. So you have traction and VED, along with supplements and the Pentox and Cialis which can all help to remodel plaque and restore healthier tissue, as well as grafting and other certain  surgeries to help with excessive size and girth loss along with the help to restore from traction and VED.  And finally you can also do the penile implants which can outright stop everything all at once. Yes it's an invasive surgery with certain risks. But it leaves you with a perfectly functioning and straight penis that is able to have intercourse and hold an erection without issues. So although it causes insecurity in the short term while treating things and dealing with it when symptoms are present. It is at least possible to do whatever treatments necessary to help get back a perfectly normal functioning penis again too. Even if it ends up being a bionic one. Which also has some additional added perks over a regular one for your lady friends anyway. So in my own mind the fact that I can do treatments I'm on and all these therapies and help myself to get back to a healthy functioning penis again, and if for some whatever reason in the future I ever need to have a bionic penis. I can work my way to that path now. feeling certain emotions over the condition makes sense because it's so hard to deal with. But there is also a lot of hope and possibilities of how to get back to a good functioning sex life again too so I think its not all doom and gloon. This isn't like having Peyronies in the 18th century it earlier where you have no treatment options whatsoever and just have to deal with whatever happens to your penis without doing anything to help. Or dying from a tooth infection, tuberculous, black plague etc.we live in a day and age where we can legitimately help ourselves and have a lot of information support and possible treatments that are at our finger tips. I think that's a pretty cool thing to think about.
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30 yrs old, peyronies diagnosis Aug 2019. Daily pentox, cialis, arginine, traction therapies. Started with dent and pain, top half penis thinned. Upward curve from pre peyronies natural left curve.  2 inch loss of length. 8 in to 6 inches. Nightmare.

this_day

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Re: Suffering arises from wrongful attachment and expectations in life
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2020, 06:57:48 PM »

Bringing this post back because it has so much truth to it.  Well done ewra!
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peter123

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Re: Suffering arises from wrongful attachment and expectations in life
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2020, 12:17:25 PM »

I just want to be dead, I don't want to kill myself I want it to be an accident or something. It'd break my heart if my parents figured I wouldn't want to life anymore. Just not existing would be so much better, I'm so sick of good feel talk seriously 99% of gu, s my age will never relate. Even here, sure for you 60 year old a penile implant might be a solution but for someone who has already suffered from their deformed body it's a solution not better than suicide which in my opinion is not an actual solution but when none exist it is the best one can do really.  Crazy that nobody cna understand. Even here I see people who say this is a nightmare because peyronies made their dick shrink from 8 to 6 inches, even after this horrendous disease their dick is still an entire standard deviation bigger than mine before. I'm 22 why the [email protected]< should. I be greatfuk for anything, 99.9% of men my age will never get this disease, they ll never experience the pain and [email protected]< this everyone had their own problems because while some people certainly do its far from everybody and I'd argue that peyro. Ies for a 22 year old is as close to a death sentence as it gets. There is nothing you cna do, anti depressants don't work if you don't have an organic depression, there is mountains of literature on this. Therapy in my experience is literally just deluding yourself to believe things aren't as bad as they are. That's what it is. And even here this is celebrated, "soudkt you really want to be with a. Woman who rejects you for this disease?" yes!! Why the hell not? It's not her fault that I'm deformed, it doesn't make her a bad person that I cannot satisfy her, it's not her problem it is mine. That's the truth but this doesn't fit into the self help good feel talk which is really well meant don't get me wrong but it's utterly pointless I have tried for years to get anything out of it but it just doesn't work because it's deluding yourself willing and knowingly. Nobody cares about male. Sexuak health, I've seen 5 doctors, experts in andrology as they call them, one more arrogant than the other, they can write as many crappy  books as they want but they won't even consider treating someone conservatively with peyronies disease.

In Germany we don't do solid assessments, we don't do the peyronies questionnaire, it does t matter because who cares when you have full scores on suicidiakit, who cares? I told Dr Hauptmann in giessen that I want to kill myself and he just said "hmm" and looked into his notes losing eye contact. Then we did the assessment. When I kill myself ill write down the names of all these sharlatans, it's not like it'll get me anything but if it gives them one moment of uncertainty whether they have been crooked a$$hole that's more than enough for me. I'm so angry and I have so much resent for this world. I am. So F^@$!ng down with all this crap, life is utter garbage when you get the wrong hands. And nobody knows what to expect. At the end I could literally end up with a micro penjs although I will blow my brain out long before that.
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onset of symptoms in February 2020 initial pain when flaccid only which has since improved. 20deg left curvature, loss of girth indent
started oral treatment in march, currently on Potaba 12mg 1200mg Pentox, 2.5mg Taladafil and L-arginin
very depress

TonySa

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Re: Suffering arises from wrongful attachment and expectations in life
« Reply #11 on: September 29, 2020, 10:05:33 PM »

Peter, did you even read the posts above?  Frankly it seems you are not allowing yourself to benefit from this forum in any way.  Your posts are nothing but demoralizing (IMO). 
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PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.
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