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Author Topic: Trying to be supportive  (Read 6824 times)

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Empire

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Trying to be supportive
« on: December 08, 2010, 02:53:40 PM »

My partner was diagnosed with early Peyronie's 3 months ago. I'm afraid that it is driving us further and further apart. He is withdrawn and angry. He refuses to talk to me about how he's feeling. I know that he is afraid of what the future holds. I have tried being supportive and just go along with his moods, but it is starting to wear on me and definitely our relationship. Any advice?
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Skjaldborg

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Re: Trying to be supportive
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2010, 04:29:28 PM »

Empire,

Have him read the forum. There is information here on doctors and medications that can help. I know it can be hard to convince someone to read through the forums since it is basically an admission that there is a problem but, if he's a sports guy, remind him that athletes get hurt all the time and that if they can make a comeback, so can he.

One of the reasons men won't talk about this is because sexual identity is closely tied to self esteem. If something's wrong down there, nothing is right anywhere. Be sure to tell him how much you love him and how important your relationship is. It helps if you emphasize how attracted to him you are by focusing on attributes that are not related to sexual performance.

This is a tough time for both of you but it gets better in time.

Skjald
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qweeny

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Re: Trying to be supportive
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2011, 05:29:14 AM »

Hi Empire, I'm my partner was diagnosed about 6 months ago. At first it was really difficult and I felt similar to you. Sex was a no go and my partner was definitely not keen to talk or come here on the forum. He still hasn't come to the forum, but I took matters into my own hands, researched all I could and told him about all the different options. I said that I would go on the forum for him and he could read with me and come on here himself if/when he feels the need or is ready.

It's important to let him know how much you love him and care for him. I also pointed out that this was not 'his problem' but something we have to face together and that I will stand by him. (to begin with I was scared and unsure if it would work, but once the fear went away, we are as solid as a rock and our sex life is slowly returning to normal). Patience, understanding and trust that you can get through this is key. And you can!

After about 4 months I went away for two weeks to get a break and stand back from the situation. When I returned, we were both felt better and things are looking up.  :)

I completely understand your worries and how scary and frustrating it must be for both of you. For us things are getting better with oral treatments. This forum has been a fantastic source of information and support. I would also recommend you join the forum as then you will have access to the 'lady's private forum' where you can chat to other women. It's a bit quite in there, and I could certainly do with another girl in there!

Hang in there, there are lots of options, and it does get easier and your partner can make a comeback as Skajald said!  xxhugsxx
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qweeny

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Re: Trying to be supportive
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2012, 07:05:35 AM »

Desertrose, I second your comment about the "gap in the relationship". Our sex life has suffered quite a lot and there are still times when it's really difficult overall. We are still hanging in there and hoping things will improve, but it is definitely hard work for both of us. Still, I'm hopeful that we can and will get through this. x
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james1947

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Re: Trying to be supportive
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2012, 03:15:57 PM »

Your man don't know what a wonderful woman you are. My deep respect and appreciation for your attitude.
James
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Age 71, Peyronies from Jan 2009 following penis fracture during sex. Severe Erectile Dysfunction.
Lost 2" length and a lot of girth. Late start, still VED, Cialis & Pentox helped. Prostate surgery 2014.
Got amazing support on the forum
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