My name is Tristan I am 38, I have 3 step children and three of my own two are with my current wife as well as two of my step children if that makes sense. So, I was diagnosed with Peyronies Disease 9 mo. ago and have completely lost both libido and self esteem. My doctor has recommended topical Verapamil and Vit E/ Cialis. I have a curvature and painful erection in addition to ED. Strange to have half an erection. No desire to be affectionate at all. I feel bad about it but I also feel apathetic to this situation. I am disabled all ready and then this happens. It started during sex I heard a pop some skin broke and I had to stop. It wasn't even rough sex it was normal missionary sex with my wife. That was almost a year ago now I barely even think about sex and when I do I cringe.  I had excellent drive and libido and prowess now I have none of those. Broke Dick and hurt feelings.  

Don't withdraw from your partner. Do the opposite. Be glad you have her. Just because your libido is down doesn't mean you don't need human affection. Talk to her about it. I'm sure she will understand. Many of us are not as lucky to be in a relationship with someone who knew us before this stuff. And check your testosterone levels, that could be a reason for low libido, may also be the pain. It's an injury, bad luck, can happen to anybody. No reason to lose your self esteem over. There is  a lot more to you than any particular body part, even that part we take so much pride in.

Hey Tristan,

I had an acute injury a couple months ago and have been having a similar problem, namely that to think about intimacy is also to be reminded of what I can't do (I have pretty serious ED in addition to the Peyronie's, both because of the injury). Even seeing my girlfriend get undressed at night can sometimes be painful for me. The thing that I've found especially hard is that sexual desire has been paired for me with a deep sense of dread, of inadequacy. The latter literally follows the former, and it's painful. After a while, my reaction (almost unconsciously, I think) was to avoid wanting intimacy so that I could avoid all of the terror that came with that. I'm still struggling, but what I can say is that talking to my girlfriend about it all and being open has made the situation much more bearable. Be open with your wife, tell her what is happening to you. My tendency has been to internalize my problem, to make it my fault and to feel like I'm no longer able to provide something to my girlfriend. Even though that's still happening, talking with my girlfriend has given her the opportunity to say to me "this isn't your fault, this is something that has happened to you and we'll get through it". Of course that doesn't by itself make those darker feelings go away, but it sure helps. I know this hurts like hell--I also had a great sex life with my girlfriend before this has happened, so the loss feels especially acute for me.

All I can say I guess is be kind to yourself! You'll have some grief, some sadness about this thing that you feel you've lost. Don't ignore that; this is a tragic, painful thing that's happened. Let yourself have some time where you can be upset and angry and sad, and then try to remember what you have: your family, your wife. I've found that the most helpful thing for me, the thing that keeps me from staying in a really dark place all the time, is gratitude for the things I do have in my life. It won't take away your pain and sadness, but it has helped me keep them from dominating my thoughts.

One more thing: I had a hell of a time getting the right diagnosis, and did a lot of damage in the meantime. One of the urologists also recommended Verapimil cream for me. The evidence for its effectiveness is really poor. The guy you're seeing has no idea what he's doing. Of the three things you're doing, only the Cialis will be helpful to you. Get off the Verapimil, get the doctor to prescribe Pentox for you, get a VED, stay on the Cialis, and consider taking L-Arginine and Acetyl L Carnitine, two supplements you can get over the counter. Check the "Oral Medications" board for some great information on the correct cocktail and links to authoritative studies for Pentox and VED. Schedule an appointment with your uro (or a new one, preferably a specialist in Peyronie's), print out those studies, and read up so you can be a good advocate for yourself. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't understand until recently that urologists have limited training in how to diagnoise and treat Peyronie's. Of the 4 I saw, 3 of them said "seems like nothing is wrong, rest a few days and you'll be okay", and the fourth one put me on some Celebrex and totally ignored all my other symptoms. I finally saw a specialist and it made a huge difference, both in terms of what he could tell me about what was happening and in my feeling like I was being proactive instead of just waiting for this disease to take its course. If you can't see a specialist, don't go quietly! There are a lot of things you can do which have been proven to help (esp. VED, Pentox and Cialis). Even if you don't see immediate improvement, believe me that it will give you piece of mind when you feel like you're doing everything you can.

ttaliesin

From the treatment your doctor proposed you I assume he is not a Peyronies specialist.
If you will read the forum, you will see not too many success stories with topical Verapamil and Vitamin E.
You should start as soon as you can with VED, Pentox, low dose Cialis (he prescribed you) and CoQ10 in my opinion.
Regarding libido, you should make a Testosterone test as emasculated suggested. Better sooner than later.

James

Thank you for all the suggestions. My urologist isn't a specialist but I am in a rural area in Alaska. we are lucky to have a local urologist. I will pass this info on to him for research. hopefully I can get the help I need that way. I couldn't afford the topical stuff but it sounds like that was for the best anyway.

ttaliesin

If you will read the topics on topical treatments you will not find too many success stories.
So don't be too sorry not to try them.

James

the urologist i went to didnt even know what jelqing was and he barley touched my penis.  he really didnt seem to care and looked at me like i was dumb for even coming in he said to go a month w/o any touching down there and to come back with pictures. i didnt like how he treated me and never went back wish they at least acted concerned even if they dont know much about the condition.  and i realize some might not be religious but God sometimes uses things to bring us back to living a life with him.  have hope brother remember the story of job hopefully u can find peace i think the mind is the best healer or the worst enemy.   i think always reading is right u have to try and focus on human emotions w your partner for now it should def help  overwhelming sadness from taking over thats what im going to do

Sadly many doctors today don't care about nothing except money.
Maybe is the very materialistic society we are living in today that everything is money and not values, so I am not blaming them, just saying.
Still from time to time we found doctors that are different.

James

Quote from: alwaysreading on May 09, 2014, 03:52:18 PMEven seeing my girlfriend get undressed at night can sometimes be painful for me. The thing that I've found especially hard is that sexual desire has been paired for me with a deep sense of dread, of inadequacy. The latter literally follows the former, and it's painful. After a while, my reaction (almost unconsciously, I think) was to avoid wanting intimacy so that I could avoid all of the terror that came with that.

Mate, it made me feel sad to know you have felt this way - because it's an awful place to be in. At the same time, it's a relief for me to read these words; as it is of great comfort to know someone can relate, as I feel the same. I dare say, most people posting on here probably do! Glad you have an understanding girlfriend to help you through it anyway - you seem in relatively good spirits which is good to see. I think you've posted some wise words anyway, which Tristan has hopefully taken on board.