Hello from a Troubled Soul

[skrexrel]

Hi there,

firstly, sorry for the excessive amount of text.  I would understand if you didn't want to read it however I can guarantee you that it took me longer writing this than it will take you to read.

I used to do something called 'jelqing' which is where you bacially milk the penis in order to enduce growth of it.  I also used to do stretching routines of the penis and these consisted of straight out, to each side and also a twist stretch, which if you can imagine is when you hold the head of your penis, twist it slightly and then pull out away from your body.  These stretches were obviously not done when the penis was erect.

I am 26 at the moment and I had my accident at 23.  What I remember was I did my routine and then went to bed.  I woke up in the middle of the night and realised that my penis was totally numb - when I say totally, I can't really feel it is always there but it seems more sensitive to pain ( a sharp pinch) rather than a touch.  That I basically cannot feel.  I also noticed some days later that there was a visible indentation in the right side of the shaft of my penis, most noticeable AFTER and erection.  This was noticeable straight away and now has progressed into a vague hour glass deformation.  What else I have noticed now is that I have reduced sensation in my perineal area aswell as my anus.

I obviously went the the doctor a few days after I noticed this and they told me that it was possibly mild brusing and that I could have compressed a nerve somewhere causing the numbness.  The doctor also told me that this would usually take a few months to heal however it never did.  What has progressed from simply a numb penis with a slight indentation on the right side is now;

- Nearly always hard flacid - I am being brutally honest here but my penis always seems 'worn out', also when I have the most severe case of the hard flacid, the indentation is quite visible.
- Still a numb penis with numbness now in perineal and anal area.
- A slight twist of the penis when erect of 2-3 degrees (I was told this when I had an examination when erect and also a cytoscopy)
- A small nump on the left underside of the penis, which I can feel is causing some pain but it is very very dim pain due to the numbness.
- Possibly numbed testicles however I really am unsure.
- Trouble sometimes urinating, with weak flow and feeling like something further up the penis, more into my body has something of a knot in it, obstructing urine flow or blood flow (I am not really sure how to describe it)
- This is interesting to me, every time I urinate, I notice my penis gets more flacid and goes away from the hard flacid state to a more natural looking state.  It kind of engorges but not as if I was going to get an erection, just a more 'full' hang.

I visited the GP on numerous occasions and they kept telling me that nothing was wrong, it was all in my head and that they couldn't feel the lump that I could feel or see any abnormalities.  I finally got them to send me to a urologist which I thought was going to benefit me.  The first urologist I saw, after describing my symptoms, referred me to have an MRI of my penis whilst flacid.  I had the MRI and got the results back which were all 'fine'.  Unsatisfied with the results I went back to the urologist that then proceeded to refer me to the urology department in the UCL hospital.  After again explaining my symptoms to a few of the urologists there I was told I would need an MRI of the penis but this time with an erection.  I had to have a shot in the base of my penis before the MRI and I got somewhat a half hearted erection.  The results came back again and I was told that there were no noticeable abnormalities and that the lump that I can clearly feel was not seen.  I would quickly like to clarify that the lump is easier to be felt when the penis is what I would call a more engorged flacid rather than a hard flacid state.

I kept pressing the urologists and I was told that I should have an MRI of my lower back in order to see if the nerves in my back weren't being compressed.  This was a few weeks back and I am currently waiting for the results.

What I have noticed about most urologists and or GPs dealing with these matters is that they are far too 'wishy washy' with what they say, never really explaining anything to you or trying to progress things.  I will be brief here but this issue has plagued my life since it occured, changing me from an outgoing and enthusiastic person to a closed off, anxious depressed wreck.  I went through a phase of a year or so with very very bad depression with excessive drinking and smoking and made it aware to my parents that I was thinking about ending my life.  This is something they relayed to my GP which I got help for however what I fear is that the GP then relayed this to my urologist and because they know I may be a risk to myself, are not telling me the full story of their findings in the MRIs and cytoscopy.  I obviously see I am exibiting paranoid behaviour here however am almost adamant that something has been found, maybe not just on the shaft of my penis but what actually resides further inside the body and the urologist is not telling me this out of fear that I will end my life.

I sometimes sit there and it really hits me how messed up my life is now because of this but when I am in the right mind I can get what I percieve to be good erections and orgasm (however the feeling of orgasm is noticeably less than before.)  I have not been sexually active since the incident and my self esteem is so low I cannot even imagine having a girlfriend ever again.  I am genuinely hoping that something comes back regarding the back MRI because if that comes back all clear and the urologists have no other way of helping me, I really do not know what I will do.

I am recieving no treatment as such for my situation, I have been offered viagra before by a GP but declined it as I do not want to become dependant on a pill so I can get an erection.  I really am coming to a loss here guys.  I have lost my path in life.  I am tormented physically by the numbness and psychologically by the deformation and 'worn out' look of my penis.  I have been asked before by doctors which one I do not like the most.  If you guys want the truth I have forgotten what it feels like to have a fully sensitive penis but I do remember what my penis looked like before the deformity.  I have read on this forum that VED can help for hourglass deformities however am not sure if I should try something like this incase it causes further damage.  It is almost like my whole penis is a sheet of scar tissue.  It is noticeably shorter and has reduced girth from before the accident.  If anyone here has ever had similar experiences or can give me any advice no matter how small I would appreciate it because I really don't think one can get much lower than this.

If you made it through the whole post I thank you for reading it.

Skrexrel
 

[james1947]

skrexrel

Your post is long, but can read it and understand what you are going true
You are not the first and not the last one.
I don't know if you really have Peyronies or not, but the web is full with people that they only target is to harm others.
Jelqing is one of them. we have many forum members got here after using this penis enlargement technique.
Try to find a doctor close to you here:
https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/board,37.0.html
https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,4063.0.html
You should start treatment as soon as you can.
You are young and the chance is good

James

[skrexrel]

Hello James,

thank you for your input.  What I find most confusing is that no one knows what treatment I should be getting.  I feel as though I am being kept in the dark regsrding the true nature of my problem.  What I find even more confusing is that I am seeing a urologist that is considered one of the best in the country for this type of problem however things have kind of drawn to a blank.

Anyways, I really do try to stay positive and I think this forum does a great deal to help people who are in circumstances such as I.

[walrus67]

hi, my urologist told me that pills dont work for peyronnes, which i have...theres 100s out there, all of which seem to do certain things, very confusing...see my post about implant pending

[james1947]

skrexrel and walrus67

Unfortunately, as most of us, you have a doctor that don't really care what happening with you or they don't have any knowledge in the subject.
In my case, the third listen to me and prescribed Pentox.
The problem also with most of the Peyronies "specialists" is that they are surgeons and what they know how to do (or supposed to know) is to cut.
Oral treatments, VED, traction do work.
You need to spend more time reading on the forum what other members doing/have done to treat they Peyronies.
A good start will be:
Peyronies Survival Guide - Information for New Members - Peyronies Society Forums
It may need some update, but is good for a start.
What helped me to improve my situation is Pentox, low dose Cialis and VED.
Don't give up and start treatment as soon as you can

James

James

[LWillisjr]

I am recieving no treatment as such for my situation, I have been offered viagra before by a GP but declined it as I do not want to become dependant on a pill so I can get an erection.  I really am coming to a loss here guys.  I have lost my path in life.

Skrexrel

If you aren't doing this already I would highly encourage you to see someone about the depression. I for one did not realize how much my mental state affected my penile state. And it is a downward spiral. You have erection problems, and easy to get depressed about it. But the depression itself then impacts your ability to achieve an erection. And drugs like Viagra don't help you get an erection, they work to help you hold an erection. I've studied these drugs and I do currently use Cialis. But you have to be able to mentally and physically start the erection process for these type drugs to work.

I appreciate your post and your depression comes through in your writing which is why I am suggesting that you seek help for this.

[LWillisjr]

I wanted to followup with a post I just read.......

https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,6756.0/topicseen.html

It's been 6 months and I feel so much more energetic, less mopey, and I can get through days without feeling the everyday dread I have for the past 10 years.  My sex drive isn't dampened at all, and in fact may be even stronger.  It could be the drug, or it could be the depression just being lifted. Of course this disease is still here, but it doesn't bother me to the crippling levels that it did before. T