New- wife-miserable

[Helpme1]

My husband was diagnosed about a year ago but has had the peyronie's problem for over 6 years now.  Prior to that he was uninterested in sex and told me that I was not attractive enough to be with him due to my age.  I am 14 years younger than he is, but apparently that is not young enough?  We have not been intimate for 11 years now.  About two years ago I finally go the nerve to insist on counseling.  Through this he has finally opened up about the Peyronies, started seeing a urologist and also taking testosterone.  There is finally some change in our relationship and we are friends again.  We enjoy each others company and have two children we both love dearly.  The physical relationship is on hold.  I don't know what to do as he seems to continue to be uninterested.  I realize that he is very concerned about his condition and unsure about how to be close to me.  In our early days he was always the one to initiate sex - hard to believe, I know.  It helps to write this.  Does anyone out there have advice?  Our biggest issues aren't really physical and I don't know what to do.

[LWillisjr]

Since his interest in sex had diminished before contracting Peyronies, then clearly there are other issues at play here. And this in addition to Peyronies is sort of double whammy. If he was only dealing with Peyronies then there are many factors to consider.....  whether he experiences pain with it, whether he experiences curvature when erect, the degree of curvature, ED, etc.

Is he open and willing to discuss his condition with you? Many urologists don't know how to treat this and may not be helping him at all.

[Pfract]

Welcome aboard. I can't imagine what it must be like to be in that position, while in a relationship. For sure, very sad. In here there are a lot of members, including women and a proper section for them to get "help" as well, so hopefully you will be able to "feel at home".

Good Luck

[Helpme1]

Thank you for the welcome and understanding words.  We have spent a year and a lot of energy in trying to "fix" the problem.  Granted, my husband has had to be the one to go through a great deal of pain both physically and I believe emotionally with this.  There has been some improvement with Xiaflex.  We waited so long to get treatment.  I can't help but wonder if things would be very different if we had addressed this sooner.  I find myself feeling very resentful and I know that doesn't help us to become closer.  I am currently trying to focus on my love for him and not the anger.  The counseling has been helpful in talking over this and the history of low sex drive. I don't know where we are headed.  He is a good man and I want things to be better between us.  I am really surprised at how good it feels to share this.  I don't imagine anyone has any magic solutions but at least I feel some relief!

[crissyp]

my  husband told me  i was boring ?  not really.  find out if porn is contributing to his lack of interest.  that was my husband's problem. he was also very secretive about it .  u basically have to spy on him.  once, it was out in the open tho, weI could  deal with it.

[james1947]

Helpme

We have a ladies only board.
Write a PM to LWillisjr or Christine to get access to the board. You can contact Stabler76 also, she is a lady also, active on the forum

James