My life has flipped on it's head

[bruh]

Hey.

I guess I'm in the same situation as all of you once were, and honestly my heart is broken.

I'm 27 years old and actually a doctor myself, a GP trainee in the UK, the equivalent of a Family Doctor in other places around the world. I feel like this makes me even more overtly anxious about what lies ahead, thinking worst case scenarios and I am just so scared man. I've always been a pretty resilient guy, obviously life can get the better of us sometimes but I've always ploughed on. This though, is something else, I feel like I've been punched deep into my chest and my anxiety is now through the roof.

I'm an idiot. I spent my life prone masturbating and I've ruined myself. I never had a single problem before, having great erections and although I was never big (probably 5.5 inches), I was pretty comfortable with my size.

I don't remember a specific episode when this all started, but around 5 months ago I remember my penis deviating to one side slightly with erections, so I decided to masturbate the other way to straighten it I suppose. It all sounds so stupid in hindsight. During that week, practically overnight, my erections changed. I noticed a slight bending further upwards at the lower shaft (my erections were usually upwards anyway), my girth had reduced, and my erections, although still solid at the time, were definitely 1-1 5 inches smaller than usual. Obviously this panicked me. I knew about Peyrione's from my training, albeit not much, and it's the first thing that popped into my head. During the week I would get random softer erections at night which weren't painful but could be uncomfortable, and these settled eventually. I still continued to masturbate, predominantly out of stress I guess, but also because I was still having erections and could get them, albeit smaller than before. I never had pain.

I got myself referred to urology, who I saw around 2 months ago, where the guy not very helpful, believing I could not have Peyrione's as he did not find a palpable plaque whilst flaccid and despite the symptoms but did not offer an alternative differential diagnosis. I am due a follow up with him in a couple of weeks and he has referred me to the ED clinic, and got me to do some routine bloods including testosterone.

I was getting more semi erections, or smaller solid erections at this time and my biggest concern at that stage was my size reduction. Unfortunately things have gotten worse.

I'm muslim and was waiting to have sex until after marriage. Somewhere in the last couple of weeks I stopped getting morning wood and random erections. Last week Ramadan started, so maybe it coincided with that and just being less aroused cos of tiredness and hunger, I'm not too sure.

I'm now having weak erections, and struggling to keep it up without constant stimulation. I've tried this to porn and managed to jerk off with a weak erection for the first time, where previously it had to be a solid erection, and that really scared the heck out of me. I now have, by definition, erectile dysfunction. My erections are weak, only come on with stimulation currently, and I no longer have random erections throughout the day, and rare morning wood. I've used castor oil and black seed oil, praying by some miracle that maybe there's some fibrosis that I can't feel and that they'll help.

I'm F^@$!ng scared man. I've been reading treatment options nonstop, and don't know what to do. I've read about l-arginine, bought some but only taken a few doses. There's all these other supplements on here that people have mentioned, but it basically sounds like they could help but PDE5 inhibitors should be my next step, so I'm going to ask my urologist to put me on sildenafil and tadalafil. I'm sure he needs to do an Ultrasound Scan to find a potential plaque, because what else could it be if it's not Peyriones? Or can you get it without a plaque? And then my head goes to all the end stage treatments such as penile implants as I have both Peyriones and dysfunction.

I know I need to relax, I'm really trying to but I feel like I'm suffering along. I managed to speak to my mum about it, which was so incredibly embarassing and she was supportive and says to be patient but it is just so hard to be isn't it.

What's even more sad about it all is I finally met a girl who I genuinely think I could marry, after being a picky bastard for years, and now I guess things are likely going to fall apart when I eventually open up about this stuff.

I'm sorry I sound like a wreck, I just had to get it all out and find it easier to write about things.

I would like to know a few things though:

Anyone else as young as me here?

Anyone else not found a palpable plaque but have a penile bend? or have they started like that and a plaque came later? I'm a grower...like my flaccid is small but literally could expand 4 times it's length before for my erection...is it possible that any plaque is hidden under my skin in the anatomical penis?

Although I'm a doctor, I'm not a urologist - is there any other differentials for what I have that I might just not know about?

Do PDE5 inhibitors really help for ED with Peyriones? and do we build tolerance to this long term, I've read that it's best taken as a daily dosage. Also how have people found taking both tadalafil and sildenafil?

And also, is there anyone who is a grower also who had a penile implant in the end, their experiences and did it drastically effect length or is there any modern ways to expand this further.

I'm sorry for bombarding, I know I need to take it slower, I guess being medical makes me think of every possible diagnostic and treatment pathway and I also can't vape whilst fasting, so I feel restless alot of the time now.

I'm usually so comfortable and confident in my own skin, and I still am but this has made me feel paralysed. The wife, the kids, the happy married life is the only thing I care about in this life, and this has thrown me into an endless pit man.

Thanks for reading if you got this far. I appreciate it.

[Hawk]

Bruh,

It is midnight here, but I did not want to go to bed without responding to your post.  You are among those who care and are here to support you.  If you have not read this, please read it thoroughly.  The section on Pentox is flawed and needs to be changed.  The main study supporting pentox was discredited for sloppy data.  Some leading Peyronies Disease specialists still prescribe it routinely.  Others will give it if you insist, but the strong evidence just is not there.  I think it is very difficult to get it in the UK anyway.  Peyronies Survival Guide LINK--> https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,3180.0.html

Next, We cannot remember your case details out of 20,000 members.

If you want accurate answers to your case, replace the red text in your signature line with basic info about your case.  You can save everyone from typing the same 40 questions over and over.  Fill in your signature line --->Instructions for your Signature Line

We have men here younger than you.  AverageBlok is just 21 yrs old and had a 3 piece inflatable implant.  Keep in mind this is a marathon and not a sprint.  Try to be calm (easier said than done, but stress is your enemy).  Many men develop Peyronies Disease right after a divorce or other stressful event.  As you have found out, most urologists are not informed about Peyronies Disease and have little motivation to pour a lot of energy into it.  You need a specialist in Peyronies Disease or at least male sexual health and not a doctor who treats kidney stones and female urinary tract infections.

We will talk more after you read and fill in your signature line.

Best wishes

Hawk
Founder/Administrator

[Muttley]

Hi Bruh,

Hawk mentioned finding a good Urologist. If you can get to The Smoke then prof David Ralph at UCLH is generally considered to be the top peyronies Uro in the country. If you are nearer Birmingham then Paul Anderson is reputed to be very good. In the Southampton and Winchester  area there is Dr Rowland Rees.

Hope that helps.

[Christopher1]

Don't give up.

Keep reading the threads.