New and unsure

[felicite]

Hi all,

Not exactly sure if this is the right place to post.. but having wandered around and read a lot of your comments.. I think it is.  
Ok.. bit of history.. lol...
I am currently in the lovely situation of about to embark on what looks to be a loving and warm relationship with a 52 year old man (I am 49) who has suffered with Peyronies Disease for 2 years.  Prior to our relationship "starting properly" as it were.. he has shared his worries about Peyronies Disease with me to a small degree, and, I think, is waiting with bated breath for my response.. to see if I am willing to "take him and his 'situation' on".   So... I thought I would glean a little more information and at least start this relationship as informed as I can get.

I cant furnish you with details of therapies tried or severity of the case, as we have not discussed it in length.  I think he is brave and open to have mentioned it already.. and I give him kudos for that..  

I am sure I will be back to ask specifics later...

Oh and by the way... in case you are interested... I am going to give him a go .. let's be fair... his penis isnt exactly the centre of a really good relationship, I am just trying to make sure he realises that I am ok with it.. and that, for me, this is just an interesting challenge that will probably make us closer.

I know that attitude may seem naive to some of you.. but, let's be fair.. how many of us get to 50 without some of our bits not being able to work especially well?

Anyway.. just to say Hi and keep up the good work.. I will let you know how it goes .  Cross your fingers for me

Fel

[jackp]

Fel

Peyronies does not mean that his sex life is over.  I commend you for your statement that his penis is not the center of a good relationship.  

I'm sure he will be awkward and nervous. The good thing is he has opened up to you so you know what you are facing.  I will tell you that my wife was the rock that held me together through my journey. She never once complained. She also told me, "Jack, I did not marry you for your penis."

Looks like you do not know what therapy he has tried, if any. The VED is the place to start along with a good doctor.  He will be embarrassed to use it for a while so be patient.

There is lots of information on this forum. I believe it will help both of you.

Good Luck

Jackp
http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com

[Jonbinspain]

Felicite

I can only amplify what jackp has said. If you really think you care for this guy, he will need and be very grateful for your assurances and support.

This horrible condition hits a man right in the very centre of his manhood. It can destroy your self confidence. It has driven some men further than that!

As you have said nothing about the severity of his condition, it's hard to comment on his ability to conduct sexual relations. Most of us are perfectly capable with the help of our partners, and if necessary, a an ED drug such as Cialis.

All the very best to you. I hope your relationship blossoms.

[inkhorn]

Felicite- I can tell by your gentle spirit and kind attitude, that everything will be alright. I'm sure you've seen pictures on the web, and kinda of got an idea of what to expect. My wife just kind of acts like nothing happened, and we find new ways of getting to the same destination. Life is still good and it will be for you guys.Good luck and Regards Inkhorn

[felicite]

More later.... but I just wanted to say thank you for your kind and supportive words.  

"gentle" and "kind" are not often words associated with me... think lioness ... indomitable fighting will and all that.. and to me... trying stuff like the VED (if he hasnt already) will be something we do together.  I have already warned him he has taken on a lot by taking on me.. he did seem VERY relieved last night when I told him what I had posted on here... so.. let's see how the weekend goes and I will either get you more information (so you can point me in a better direction) or I will actually get him on here to introduce himself.  Oh and I told him he wasnt allowed to be shy around me....  i THINK he laughed, but he did say he had already gathered that nothing is sacred with me around.

Anyway, thanks for the start... lets see if I can get us both going in the right, positive direction

Keep up the good work all

Fel
xx

[Jonbinspain]

Felicite;

I do not wish to intrude in your private lives in any way. But, please remember that when it comes to attempting any form of sexual contact, he may well be nervous, unsure of himself, etc. the more help and reassurance you can give him will only help him to gain confidence is his ability to please you.

[felicite]

jonbinspain... thank you.  Having read and understood a lot of the feelings generated around this condition.. I promise faithfully I will be very supportive.  Without giving too many details.. we are both well versed in alternative methods of pleasure, it isn't something I am particularly worried about.. although i know he will be feeling VERY wary of my reaction.  I have already begun the long process of putting his mind at rest... lets just say the proof will be in the pudding (great english expression .

Again, without giving the forum a blow by blow.. I will let you know if we get into difficulties that i may need help on.  And - possibly, when given access to it, I will be able to ask other women in a more private environment, what advice they can give.

With thanks

Fel

[inkhorn]

Ok Lioness, If that's the case, you definitely will have no problem. BTW- Meekness is not weakness. Moses of old was known as the "meekest man on all the earth". Look how bold and strong he was! Regards Inkhorn

[Jonbinspain]

Felicite;

I understand. I'm English too. I hate being cold so I decamped over here.

I'm glad you understand. If you reassure him that if it doesn't work first time, it's not a problem, he will gain confidence from that. Once he is comfortable with knowing that you care about him anyway, he will do his best to please you.

You sound like a wonderful, warm, caring lady. He's a very lucky man to have found you.

[felicite]

lol thanks guys...

and Jon... I will make sure I make him read that bit

stay warm in the sun.. and I will stay cuddled up for warmth here

Fel
xx

[james1947]

felicite

We have a board for woman only, not visible to no one including moderators.
As we try to keep privacy as much as we can, the access to the woman only is not given automatically to any new female member.
You may PM to Christine, she is the Moderator of the woman only board or/and PM to LWillisjr the Administrator of the forum, they can give you access to this board.

Welcome to the forum
James

[felicite]

thank you James... I will do that .  And also thank you for the lovely welcome.  I do feel I stumbled on the right place to be able to "tackle" this issue (I promise I wasn't trying to pun.... it just came out that way)

best wishes to all, and I promise.. whatever methods we try to combat the problem.. we will share

Fel
xx

[Jonbinspain]

You're very welcome Felicite. If you, or your other half, have any more questions, just ask, somebody here will have an answer for you.

Again, your man seems to have found the right lady. He will deal with this much better with your help and support.

I wish I had been as lucky.

Jon xxx

[LWillisjr]

felicite,

You now have access to the "Ladies Forum".

[philip64]

I have to confess. As a 49 year-old man with Peyronies and (I discovered) ED as well, I have had a hard time trying to develop a relationship with a significant other even though she was very supportive and nonjudgmental. My penis was not the center of our relationship either but my inability to perform was far more deflating to me than I thought. For me the performance anxiety became too much to bear, and she could sense it. I can't say it was the main cause of our relationship not succeeding, but it was a main contributor. However, I'm moving in across the country in six months anyway. I never realized how complicated relationships were until I was out of them for five years.

I really hope to become involved again, but the next time I want to be ready for let downs as well as successes, and I would like to communicate my physical situation with my new-found darling beforehand (in a non-alarming way!). It's not just a matter of a woman 'accepting' my situation; I also have to accept myself and not be ashamed. Because shame is toxic. A man wants to feel like a man and that's not as easy as it used to be for me. I say all this because it might be good to bear in mind how he feels about himself as well. But we're all different no doubt and as I've mentioned five years ago I had no ED and didn't care much about Peyronies.

[jackp]

philip64

With a new lady friend do not be so goal orientated. There are may ways to make love to a lady other than vaginal penetration.  A good book to read is "Intended for Pleasure" by Dr. Ed Wheat.  

You really need to be checked by a good urologist for venous leakage. In the early stages of venous leakage you can masturbate to orgasm but have trouble with intercourse. With the peyronies you need to be on the VED exercise. If you can not maintain an erection for intercourse then use the constriction rings that come with the VED. That way you can have an erection for up to 30 minutes that will not go down.

Jackp
http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com

[inkhorn]

Philip- I have to strongly agree with Jack, concerning the VED both for exercise and sex. I'm a big proponent of the VED, because I can not get an erection without it. That being said I've been balling my wife for over 3 years a couple times a week. Give it a try. Regards Inkhorn