Feeling Hopeless

[Duey1083]

Hey,

I'm newly diagnosed (~3 weeks ago), but have been experiencing symptoms for the past 10 months.  I would have never even guessed it to be Peyronies because overnight I suddenly couldn't get erections after a masturbation session that obviously went terribly wrong without any warning or explanation.

I'm only 29, I'm single, lonely, live alone, and am now feeling the weight of everything.  Out of all my friends, I'm the only one left that is single.  

I can barely get an erection and need Cialis and to be honest, I'm not certain how effective it is or not.  Being in Canada with limited access to good physicians and urologists, I have no idea how I'm going to beat this.  I also have no idea how I'm going to find a willing partner that will be able to see me through this.  I can do nothing but cry while all my friends are finding girlfriends, getting married and having kids.

I'm so distraught with the appearance of my penis.  The veins are all so engorged when it's flaccid, it looks disgusting...I'm trying my best to stay positive and stay engaged in my career and decided to learn how to place ice hockey earlier in the summer.  But to be honest, there's a big hole in my life.  I've been wanting companionship for forever, but I've gone through one calamity to the next with regards to my sexual health these past 3 years.

Has anyone on this forum who was struck with this disease as well as ED ever found a loving and supportive partner?  How do you all cope?

[Stabler]

Hello Duey1083,

There are many members that have loving partners that see them through and support them with this disease. I have to tell you it take a special kind of person, someone that loves no matter what but yes, there are those women out there. I can tell you that your penis is not "who you are" but I know that isn't going to mean much to you, I know that right now you feel as though it is exactly "who you are" but know that as a woman, I can tell you that I don't see it that way. I know..... that there must be kindness, compassion, laughter and love, all things that make you WHO you are. I know.... that even if you don't have a functioning penis, that you are so worth having and being with.

I also know that right now these may just be words to you, but you need to not be alone, don't isolate yourself, g out with your friends, spend time with family, find counseling if you feel you need it, but don't allow this disease to take you to a bad place mentally. This disease is taxing in may ways, physical, mentally, financially, this forum... we are here to help see you through, here to support and listen, so make sure and use us for that, call on us when you need someone. You can ALWAYS PM or Email anytime day or night and I will answer, so don't ever feel like you are alone.

I pray for everyone in this forum every day, that includes you.

Hugs Mamma

[Duey1083]

Thank you for the words of encouragement, Stabler67.

I'm more wondering if anyone who was diagnosed with this disease as a single man ever found a patient and understanding partner.  I'm sure many have, but i just need to know.

Also, when I start dating, at what point should I bring my affliction up?  And how much should I say.  I've read a lot, and I feel something should be said prior to sexual intimacy.  I hear that girls sometimes believe a man isn't interested or attracted to them if they can't get a proper erection... so I feel some sort of dialogue needs to happen before that point.  Your thoughts?

Please keep in mind that I am 29, so a girl my age has a lot of options and it might just be easier for them to end things and move on.

Duey

[Stabler]

Duey,

I can tell you that yes, that men with Peyronies have found such women, I was one of them that is how I came to join the forum. I can tell you that I feel it is best to be upfront about the issue, when you find someone that you are wanting to be intimate with, then I would just explain it to her.

When I was told I got online to learn about it, that is how I found the forum. I think that it is going to be best if before you try to become intimate that you know about the disease yourself (this forum is a great tool) and know what YOUR limits are.

My partner had the same limits as you but we found other ways to be intimate so that both our needs were met. (yes it can be done) Now.... is this going to take a special kind of woman?? maybe but it is going to be the kind of woman that you want to be with. You might find that instead of being with many women that you will need to be more select and look for a life long partner rather than many partners (which is good) Finding a partner that wants to help you through and live this with you is important and yes, it can be done.

If you havent already, you should visit our Urologists list to see if there is a specialist in your area. https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,4063.0.html
So far all you have stated youre doing for treatment is Cialis and you should be doing more than that, the Cilais wont help the Peyronies. You should also visit the Oral Meds board and the VED and Traction boards, all very helpful for treatment. alot of good member knowledge there.

Dont allow this to isolate you from women, will you find one that doesnt understand or doesnt want to?? yeah probably but I dont want you to let that control your life, becasue I am telling you that there are women out there that will love and support you.

You ask me anything you want to anytime, I am always here to help and I will always be honest with you.

Hugs Mamma

[Duey1083]

Hi Stabler,

Thank you for your response... I don't have time to do a detailed response, but I've actually been messaging with Old Man.  He helped me source a VED which I just ordered this morning.

I will be meeting with my family doc to see if he will put me on 400 mg of Pentox three times daily.  And then there's the Cialis.  I'll leave my regimen at that for now and will maybe add L-Citrulline Malate.

Thanks for your encouraging words,

Duey

[Stabler]

Talking with Old Man is a great resource. Please keep us informed, I am following all of your posts on the boards  

Have a good day  

[Funny9097]

I think you should go forward with Cialis daily for some time; however, if the effects become erratic (say good blood flow for the following hours and worse blood flow the next day than before you even began taking it in the first place) consider getting off of it. What I'm describing is my personal experience - except I would add sweating and changes to my pulse as the symptoms, specifically/in addition to the erractic up/down I felt the drug had to my circulation down there.

If you do get off it a supplement that I found had similar benefits minus the side effects is a low dose of pycnogenol + L-Citrulline or Arginine, depending on preference.

I will be meeting with my family doc to see if he will put me on 400 mg of Pentox three times daily.  And then there's the Cialis.  I'll leave my regimen at that for now and will maybe add L-Citrulline Malate.

Thanks for your encouraging words,

Duey