Something to Consider.

[Stabler]

I have been reading post after post of how defective or inadequate many of the members here feel due to their Peyronies, they talk about how they don't know if they will ever have relationships, some have lost relationships, The don't know how to talk to women about this, they fear that women will run from them or become uninterested because of the Peyronies. This has baffled me and that has seemed strange to some of you I think, that I would find this disease to mean so little to the fulfillment of my relationship.
I have been posting trying to help you all understand that your penis is not the best part of you and while I know that as men, you feel it is of great importance to you, that you all feel it is what makes you "a man" it is not what women fall in love with and I think I have finally come up with something to help make my point.

Not everyone will get this, but those who understand real love and want real love..... will, and if you are in a place that you are feeling dark about relationships or think that a woman is not going to understand your pain or insecurities because of the Peyronies,

I want you to think about this.

I think that men with Peyronies can be paralleled to women with Breast Cancer. Peyronies can cause men pain, can cause you to lose function of your penis it can become deformed you can need many medications to control the pain and try to make it through the day just dealing with the physical and mental difficulties there is therapy with VED and traction and in the end you may find that you need to have an implant in order to have it look as it used to, to make you feel whole again, and all while you are going through this, all you are thinking is what woman is going to want to be with me and go through this, what woman is going to want to look at this. Also, Peyronies never really goes away.

Now, let's look at a woman with Breast Cancer. It too can cause pain it can cause loss of function to the breast causing it to have to have surgical scars from biopsies trying to save it, the breast becomes painful and many medications are used to ease pain,  and try to remove the cancer so that the woman will not have to lose the breast,  but in the end, that is exactly what happens in most cases, and even though she knows that she will or can in time have a breast implant, the entire time, all she is thinking is what man is going to want to be with me, or go through this, what man is going to want to look at this...... And she may have to do this twice, and she will forever fear the spread of cancer in her body.

To the men with Peyronies and the women with Breast Cancer, I would have to say that the right person is not going to care about the look or function of your outside parts. Some of the men in this forum understand what it feels like to be dismissed because of Peyronies, you would not be so quick to dismiss a woman because of a loss of a breast would you.....

Maybe now, being able to see that there is something on the other side of the coin, the female side, that puts them in the same holding pattern as you, you wont be so quick to write off or give up on relationships because of this disease, give women a chance to prove that they can care and love regardless of Peyronies, there are still going to be the women who are looking for a "perfect penis", THOSE ARE NOT THE WOMEN YOU WANT  you will know who you can approach, but many of you are making assumption because you are thinking like a man, not like a person and I understand why. But for just a moment try to think like a person, where this is concerned, and remember the woman with Breast Cancer because she just might be standing next to you thinking the same exact thing.

I am adding this because GlassGlue reminded me of its importance, before you can allow others to love you... you must first be able to love yourself. and those who have followed my posts know I have said this before. It is hard for people with nothing wrong with them to love themselves some days but add to it a physical issue and the dynamic doubles or triples in size. Just take it a day at a time and know that at the very least there is a very large group of people right here that love and support you and will get you through a tough time.

God Bless Gentlemen

[Glassglue]

All you say is possible. But I think that's just the perceived problem. The real trick with getting someone to love you, or to love someone else, is to first love yourself. That is the biggest problem with this mess as far as I can tell by reading between the lines. Even people with stable supportive partners cause their own problems by withdrawing emotionally and sexually from them. That's what's happening to me.  

[Stabler]

You are exactly right, you must be able to love yourself first, and I have posted that in another section. but that would be the same for the woman with breast cancer. I guess I feel like the men are thinking that the women have no way to understand where they are coming from, that there isn't any way that a woman could understand how they are feeling, the breast cancer is simply a way to let you all know that yes women have something that can make them feel just as isolated as you feel at times, but you don't have to feel that way, but you most certainly have to be able to love yourself before you can allow anyone else to love you. ((((Hugs))))