I've gotten myself into an awkward predicament!....recently with new girl i lik

[Curvedwang99]

I know this might seem immature but Idk where else to get opinions. I haven't been with a girl in a while because I've become self conscious about my member but I recently met a gorgeous girl who i really like and we hooked up for the first time the other night...she will most likely want to sleep with me soon BUT I'm due for plication surgery/adult circumcision in 4 days!? How do I tell her this and why I can't have sex for like 6 weeks? We have been texting for a while but literally just met and hung out recently so I don't know her on a very personal level yet idk how she will take it....its going to be awkward! She won't understand or have a clue what I'm talking about, possibly be weirded out...

I don't tell anyone about my curved member so this is difficult for me..how long is recovery? can you speed it up?

[welshwales]

You don't have to say anything about the plication, just say you are having a circumcision. There is nothing abnormal or strange about that. If you end up emotionally involved at some later date you can tell her about it in the future if you want.
I had an adult circ a few years ago, and that alone was painful enough to avoid sex for a couple of months. So no sex for 6-8 weeks after circ and plication wouldn't be odd. Don't forget you have other body parts capable of satisfying a woman!

Don't try and speed things up on the healing front, you are only likely to injure yourself further. Then you will weird her out!

[emasculated]

May I ask why you think this surgery is necessary at all? And what advantage will it bring.

[RoyHobbs]

Because his penis is curved I'm guessing. So straightness will be the advantage gained.

[emasculated]

Yeah. I've read his first posting now. He doesn't have Peyronies. I guess straightness is really important to him then. (I wouldn't give a sh**.) Good luck!

[Curvedwang99]

Its significantly curved.......otherwise why would I consider suegery? Let's be honest I'm young, girls my age are NOT attracted to a significantly curved uncircumsized penis....its not common and catches every girl by suprise (not in a good way) . I'm decent looking girls seem to like me but they are always disappointed by my member..I too think its unsightly. Maybe my image is warped but I've felt with this for years and put a lot of thought into it after numerous humiliating experiences...you make it seem crazy to want to have a good future sex life and aesthetically appealing penis vs always being unsatisfied and embarrassed.........

[emasculated]

It is crazy.. If I were you I would be too busy celebrating not having Peyronies. And having your foreskin cut off because the females in America are not used to the look is stupid. Why give up all those pleasurable nerve endings! Mine was cut off as a baby and I hate it! And here in Germany girls find my member unusual! Here almost everybody is uncut. And every penis curves, some more than others. Just go to a sex shop and look at the shapes of the dildos. Many women pay good money for a curved one. You got it for free!

[Curvedwang99]

I understand its a huge decision, I'm a mature adult and have considered all the morals, risks, reasons etc I understand what I'm doing....your telling me I'm crazy 4 days before I go have this surgery that's not very helpful. You have no idea how bad my curve is, its quite bad, my penis looks like crap...and I am out having fun? That has nothing to do with my penis...sorry If I'm coming off as defensive but you came off ass aggressive. I don't think anythings wrong with being cut or uncut its just personal preference largely influenced by my geographical location and society. I live on the east coast in mass, according to the census >85% of boys are cut at birth and I found this to be a fact growing up here and being one of the only ones uncut in my entire wrestling team and highschool etc. It was not fun when everyone constantly made fun of it, girls didn't like it even though they didn't understand why..It never helped my confidence. I still live here the situation hasn't changed. I've made this decision because yes its important to me and support would be better than bashing.

[emasculated]

Yes you are an adult and that's why i wished you good luck in another post. It's just that you had the impression that I think this is crazy. So I simply replied that yes I do think it is and explained why. You can take it or leave it! And good luck with your cosmetic surgery. Hope it makes you happy.  

[Skjaldborg]

And having your foreskin cut off because the females in America are not used to the look is stupid.  

Any surgery where the penis is degloved almost ALWAYS requires circumcision. Even penile implant surgery requires this. Do not be so quick to judge, emasculated.

Curved, good luck with your surgery and you are always welcome here to ask questions. We look forward to your updates.

Skjald

[Curvedwang99]

I know it will make me happy! Its just an unfortunate/unpleasant experience to have to go through. But thank you. I'm seeing a top surgeon dr. tom lou so I'm confident the surgery will go well, i really hope so. I'm a little worried about the pain and recovery time :/

[Knight]

Curvedwang99 - You are not crazy and please don't let advice from extremely negative people be the deciding factor on what you decide to do with your body. Emasculated is the most negative influence I have ever met on this board and where as he would prefer to judge you and call you names (while planning his own suicide) many of us support you and look forward to hearing about your successful outcome! He only wishes he knew about American women. You are not "stupid" in my opinion for wanting to be what we perceive to be normal.

You have already had some great replies as to how to handle your dilemma! Another idea is you could tell her you would prefer to wait because you find her to be special. If all she wants is sex let her go and take care of yourself.

Good luck!

Note to administrators and moderators: Ban me, spank me, scold me or fine me. I'm sorry but I just can't take it anymore. If people are allowed to talk like this to other members on this board I'm all done holding back on my opinion.

[james1947]

Knight
I will not: Ban you, spank you, scold you or fine you and no one else will do
I agree with your advice to Curvedwang99.
Everyone have sometimes his days of depression, some have more frequently. Hope they will change in time.

emasculated
Please don't use explicit words, as they are not allowed on the forum and I don't have time and eagerness to edit your posts.

James

[welshwales]

Wow I can't believe the negativity on this thread. I thought this community was about supporting each other.

Curved, please pay no attention to the ridiculous opinion of one rather pessimistic and contrary individual. It's your body, your choice! I'm glad that peyronies is something I have only had for a few years. I can't imagine what it must be like to have had a severe curve for most of your life. If I were in your shoes, I expect I'd be doing the same as you. Good luck!

I'm sorry but I just can't take it anymore. If people are allowed to talk like this to other members on this board I'm all done holding back on my opinion.

I whole heartedly agree with you there! It's not acceptable when individuals are allowed to stamp roughshod over other men who have taken the initiative and are speaking out and seeking help for a condition that is in many ways disabling and embarrassing.

Emasculated, both Peyronie's and Congenital Curve sufferers are affected physically and psychologically by their conditions. Please don't be one of those ignorant people who thinks that someone else's condition is not as bad as their own. It's ignorant.

[emasculated]

It's entirely different. Congenital Curvature is a mere cosmetic issue. Peyronie's is an actual disease, which includes severe pain, shortening, thinning and often progressive worsening.

james1947: What else should I use? Implicit words?

[NeoV]

It's hard for all of us to encourage anyone to get those surgeries done without pictures, I think it's only natural for us to respond emotionally. I'm just hoping you and others have a good understanding of it and it's outcome versus trying to straighten you penis with other methods or leaving it alone.

Anyway, you are the judge, so since you are getting it done we should be talking about what to tell the girl! I would say man, don't let this be such a burden on you. Tell her the truth and try to not make a big deal about it. Just explain it in a positive way.

It took me until after my peyronies to start liking my penis which is one of my biggest regrets. It was always attractive and still is and I never knew until the last several years.

You can also do stuff with her that doesn't involve your penis now if your worried but again I wouldn't "surprise" her. Just be positive man!

[james1947]

emasculated

Maybe you forget them, so please read the forum rules.

James

[welshwales]

Congenital Curvature is a mere cosmetic issue.

Nope. It is a physical deformity. The same as webbed toes or clubfoot. All of which can cause emotional and physical problems. You of all people should understand the anxiety and distress that can be associated with physical disorders, given your apparent predisposition towards depression.

[emasculated]

Alright.. whatever. Then it's a deformity, a cosmetic issue for those who care. But what does it have to do with Peyronies? Nothing. Besides a superficial similarity Congential curve has nothing to do with Peyronie's. Curve is just one of many possible visual signs of Peyronie's, it does not signify the disease itself. That's just a mistake that was made in the past to equate Peyronies with "bent penis". Our objectives are also different as Peyronies Disease patients. We want to restore the state we had previously by nature. Get back the shape, size etc. we were before. The goals of a Congenital curve patient are to conform to society by having cosmetic surgery which makes him look like most people. They don't suffer the huge loss we patients suffer by losing basically all our functioning over time, suffer severe pain and all the rest. To conclude this subforum shouldn't exist here.
And I have never suffered from depression my entire life and do not suffer from it now.

[Curvedwang99]

Emasculated, relax. This has gone off topic. Your partly right at first glance and I understand your reasoning but I respectfully disagree with you. Its okay to disagree. I wasn't comparing peyronies with congenital curvature and never said it was the same or worse etc. I'm very thankful I don't in fact have peyronies, I've read a lot about it I understand the condition its terrible and progressive. But this wasn't a post comparing the two. This is my penis though and its still really important to me. My deformity is causing severe psychological stress and problems with my sex life and confidence. Cosmetic or not I don't see the huge issue of wanting to correct a deformity that was qualified for surgery by a world renowned surgeon he was also concerned for my psychological health. Its really not a lengthy and difficult procedure from what I've read and I've heard so many success stories post surgery where people are very satisfied with their new members. I want this feeling. You seem to have a very narrow minded opinion of people wanting to better their sex lives you shouldn't care what I do with my penis!! But everyone's entitled to their opinions. Just curious though, why are you so concerned about people correcting their congenital curvature deformities? Is it just because they don't have what u have, peyronies?  

[Curvedwang99]

Anyways. Thanks for the help everyone. I'm probably just going to tell her I'm getting and adult circumcision and not even mention the plication. Its still going to be coming from left field lol

[james1947]

emasculated

Quote from your post:

To conclude this subforum shouldn't exist here.

Unfortunately you are not the censor of the forum.

James

[Angus]

  Curvedwang99, welcome to the forum. I hope you get some benefit resulting from discussions with our members here.

 Notice to current members: All manner of personal insults (as defined by the forum rules) and strong language bashing another member will, as of now, not be tolerated.
 Any other flagrant violation of forum rules will also not be tolerated.
 Violators will be banned without warning or discussion. Arguments with members about violations will not take place.
 The rules are easy enough to find on the home page and by being a member of this forum
 you exhibit the ability to read and follow these rules.
 
 

[LWillisjr]

Curvedwang99,
Welcome to the forum from me as well. We are here to support you. The 'bad apple' has been dealt with.

A congenital curve is definitely a deformity no different than a Peynonies curve. Everyone's curve is different, different symptoms, emotions, etc. I think all of use would agree with you that it is a deformity. And the degree of curvature and direction of curvature (like a Peyronies curve) are all factors to determine if a surgical correction is the right answer for you or not. And I personally feel that a downward curvature is one of the more difficult to live with as compared to an equivalent curve in the upward direction.

Also, I try to avoid the circumcised vs. uncircumcised topic, but for once I will weigh in on this topic. It has always seemed a pointless discussion for me, and one more of personal preference. I know circumcision is pretty much a common practice in the U.S., but different practices and cultures outside the U.S. have different views on this. And of course most who are already circumcised prefer being circumcised, and those who are not circumcised prefer that. So it is always an interesting debate with little data to back it up. So why am I posting on the topic now.

My son has a friend who grew up uncircumcised. Wasn't a big deal. But around the age of 21 he developed some complications which required him to get circumcised. A few years later I was talking with him and realized that I was talking to one of the few people who had actually experienced both. So I asked the $1m question. I said he was the first man I know who could now tell me from personal experience which way he preferred. He had sex while uncircumcised and then after being circumcised. So I asked did he feel cheated or robbed, and whether it made any difference.

His answer to me was that sex was better AFTER being circumcised. Since the concentrations of nerve endings is much greater in the glans than in the skin surrounding the penis, he experienced more pleasure and sensation from his perspective. So he was more then pleased with his circumcision. End of story.

[welshwales]

His answer to me was that sex was better AFTER being circumcised. Since the concentrations of nerve endings is much greater in the glans than in the skin surrounding the penis, he experienced more pleasure and sensation from his perspective. So he was more then pleased with his circumcision.

I have to agree. I had an adult circ when I developed BXO (balanitis xerotica obliterans) which led to severe phimosis of the foreskin (tightening). I was terrified that I would lose sensation, and was paranoid that I would look odd (here in the UK only about 1 in 10 guys are circumcised). So I read up on the desensitisation issue. Basically the advice I found was to not wear loose or rough material underwear, rub a bit of baby oil on your penis after bathing/showering to prevent it from getting too dry, and always use lube when engaging in sexual activity (with partner an alone). In the few years since the circ I don't think I have not lost any sensitivity of my glans. Basically look after your penis and be sensible with it.

I hope your surgery goes well tomorrow.

[UrsusMinor]

Everyone's curve is different...I think all of us would agree with you that it is a deformity.

Actually, I'd be fine with mine (about 30 degrees dorsal) if it didn't hurt and hadn't shortened my penis...and if I was sure it wouldn't get worse! But that's just me.

And I personally feel that a downward curvature is one of the more difficult to live with as compared to an equivalent curve in the upward direction.

I'd have to agree with that...at least in theory, since I haven't experienced it.

His answer to me was that sex was better AFTER being circumcised. Since the concentrations of nerve endings is much greater in the glans than in the skin surrounding the penis, he experienced more pleasure and sensation from his perspective. So he was more then pleased with his circumcision. End of story.

I had a good friend who got circumcized at 23, and he reported pretty much the same thing. But, as you are obviously aware, circumcision is one of those hot-button topics.


As the victim of a vasectomy decades ago that went badly awry (know how they say that complications are one in a million? Meet Mr One In A Million), I'd rather not have people with razor-sharp scalpels fooling with my penis. But, for anyone who wants to go forward with any sort of surgery after thinking it through, I wish them the best of luck.