Secrecy: The cross-to-bear of Peyronies Disease

[ThePerfectMelody]

Hi all,

I haven't had internet available at home for quite some time now and my infrequent postings mirror the fact, so when I do post, it's via free wifi at coffee shops, my brother's place, etc. Sorry if my posts are always negative but I feel compelled to write when things about Peyronies Disease really start to bother me. This post is a way for me to vent my fears; some of you might share and understand.

I suspect that I may require a surgical implant to straighten me and give me rigidity. 6 or 7 years ago, I started down the path of an eventual surgery with my parents with me every step of the way. The process from start to finish lasted 1 1/2 years and started while I was in college. I was living back at home with my parents after graduating from university and working at a small after-school program in a small town when I had the surgery. I had to take a week off of work and tell my boss and coworkers quote, "I have to get a minor surgery" and that I would be gone for a week after recovering. Looking back, I didn't feel all that at ill ease with telling them that as I knew that I could just leave it at that.

However, now that I am older, living on my own, and paying the bills, the thought of having to go through the process again in a new company scares me. It makes me feel really uncomfortable when I think that I may have to approach my boss and tell my coworkers that I have to miss a week to get a minor surgery. I would rather say quote, "I am taking a week off to seek medical treatment", but I'm afraid that being vague about it will make things uncomfortable. The good thing about my company is that they are very flexible in giving employee large lengths of time off to pursue their other interests. The whole situation about having to hide this secret from my coworker-friends makes me feel really uncomfortable because usually I am a person who wears their hearts on their sleeves and I don't feel well when I have to hide things, lie, or anything of that nature. The thought of having to go through this really kicks in my anxiety and is hard for someone like me who has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I however, know that to make progress I must take action even in the face of fear and I have decided to see a urologist again.

Just needed to vent. If you have felt anything like I am feeling it would be great to hear your perspective on the issue. Wish me luck...

[Norm]

Mel,
There are two predominant lines of thinking on this issue:
1) Dont be secretive. Men's health issues need to brought to the forefront. How can we combat it if we hide it? We have to make this a very public issue or we are going to be doomed to live with it forever.
2) Many of us feel the same as you. There is an interesting thread here that you need to read. Under the Surgery board there is a topic called "What to tell others about your surgery". There are some good methods discussed there for how to handle this issue, as well as some discussion referring back to item #1.

Good luck. I hope you find some strength in that discussion.
Norm

[james1947]

ThePerfectMelody

Everyone need sometimes to vent. We are brothers in this horrible disease and try to help each other, so this is the place you can "vent".
I wish you luck, myself will not tell the truth when I will make the surgery. I don't have enough courage for that.

James  

[rellisacct]

Melody,

I just went through this experience last week. I simply stated to my boss that there is an experimental medical treatment for a condition that I've had for a long time and that I need a couple of days off of work to go to Mexico (stem cell trial). He didn't pry into my issue or make me feel uncomfortable in any way and I've noticed that most people are very sympathetic where health issues are involved.

One thing I've learned in my 31 years is that everyone on earth has gone through some sort of trial or large life issue...and your co-workers are no different. I haven't told anyone at my work exactly what the issue is nor do I feel comfortable doing so, so I won't. It is up to them to be understanding...which 99% of people are.  

[ThePerfectMelody]

Rellisacct,

Thank you for sharing your story with me. It is very encouraging. I hope that the treatment went well! All the best,


Melody