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Author Topic: Peyronies Disease has destroyed me  (Read 2227 times)

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ThePerfectMelody

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Peyronies Disease has destroyed me
« on: September 08, 2013, 08:39:54 AM »

I am so depressed. I have lost the will to live. Having had peyronies disease at 15, my confidence shattered and still is. I'm not succeeding in life now that I
too anxious and depressed to go after girls. All I really do is try to cover up how I am really feeling. I have lost hope that I'll ever feel better.  I feel so bad and alone.
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Knight

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Re: Peyronies Disease has destroyed me
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2013, 11:08:21 AM »

You are not alone. I think many, if not all of us here have felt your frustration and despair to some degree or another. I know I have thoughts that blow thru my mind almost daily about how I will "end it all" if I'm not successful in in finding a way to treat this nasty condition. But each day I do everything I can think of to learn and combat the effects of Peyronies Disease on my life and I look for other things to take my mind off my condition. For me that involves activities such as physical fitness and playing guitar. At this point in time it's almost mind over matter and I am determined to fight this thing! If we give up we will surely never find any answers but if we keep pushing on and fighting with everything we can think of who knows what the finale outcome will be.

One day at a time. Your penis does not define you. You have worth and as long as you draw breath into your body there is still hope. Cling to that and push on! Together we might find answers, discover wellness and have an improved standard of living! Don't let Peyronies Disease win.
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LWillisjr

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Re: Peyronies Disease has destroyed me
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2013, 12:22:52 PM »

Theperfectmeloday,

I think you should go back and read you own first post. It was very upbeat and gave hope for how you worked through your depression even though it required medication. Are you still on your meds???
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Les - 10 yrs Peyronies Disease free
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jackp

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Re: Peyronies Disease has destroyed me
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2013, 12:31:50 PM »

knight/melody

You can not let your penis define you. I have worked with several young men that wanted to "end it all" just because of peyronies. 

There is hope and help. I know of one young man that went to at least a dozen doctors and most told him he was too young or it was all in his mind.  You have to just find the right doctor. Treatments vary depending on your condition. He now has a very active sex life. I have posted an article called "Mending Broken Hearts" in the surgery section. In it Dr. Milam tells of treatments, depending on your condition.

You have a long active life in front of you. The one thing that is most important is never - ever give up. Also a girl that just loves you and cares about you will not care about the condition of your penis.

Any way I can help send me a PM or email.

Jackp
http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com
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Skjaldborg

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Re: Peyronies Disease has destroyed me
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2013, 03:41:20 PM »

ThePerfectMelody,

You are not alone. I got this at a relatively young age too. The psychological pain is brutal, no doubt about it. If you are not already in therapy I suggest you do it. It was very helpful for me.

While we can't control what is happening below the belt, we can control what's happening to the rest of our body; exercise, eating right and getting as much sleep as you can. These things, along with medication, can help fight depression while also giving your body the opportunity to heal.

Hang in there and PM me if you have questions.

-Skjald
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ThePerfectMelody

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Re: Peyronies Disease has destroyed me
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2013, 03:49:33 AM »

Thank you all for your time. You are all really nice people to help out a stranger. I have been thinking about why my life is in shambles and I think it's because of a feeling of alienation from my peers.

I am naturally a very adventurous and very social person.  I really used to enjoy having fun with friends and meeting new people and trying new things. The feelings of isolation began in my early 20's. At that time while my male peers became focused on getting it on with girls and finding common ground with each, I secretly began to feel alone. It was/is especially hard being that I'm sexually adventurous naturally. I didn't trust any male friend enough to understand what I was going through so I kept having peyronie's disease a secret.  The anxiety from having it was so intense that it stopped me from dating and I fell into a deep depression. I was in denial for a long time and I tried avoiding the feelings of inadequacy by using my ex as a safety net and breaking her heart in the process, along with drinking, drugs, and partying. My overcompensating upbeat personality caused me to become popular in college and I even had a few flings; but I had an extreme amount of performance anxiety and coupled with the Peyronies Disease, was unable to maintain an erection that could penetrate. Things got worse. After 5 years of my mess of a life, I finally opened up about my situation to my parents in an attempt to get better. Things did get better, and a year from then, I got got surgery to correct some of the curvature which allowed me to maintain erections enough to penetrate. This took so much relief off my shoulders and took away the performance anxiety and I am now able to rely on myself to have normal sex.  This is great, but I am still dealing with some pretty heavy psychological issues.

I feel disconnected from myself and others because I am not being the person who I am meant to be. I have never regained my motivation for sexual adventurism and this has kept me in a continual deep depression; a big reason for this is that I do not have sensation along the whole left side of penis from the base to end of the shaft. I have developed extreme social anxiety and have become paranoid and isolated. I do not enjoy life anymore. I feel like I don't fit in and I'll never be the carefree person that I was meant to be. I have dreams, and I'm trying to move forward with them, but because of the social anxiety and mistrust I have of others, it all seems meaningless. I have been taking anti-depressant medication and a mood stabilizer which has stabilized me enough to move forward to holding down a job and living on my own. My parents know everything and are supporting me all the way through and I am so lucky to have that. But I don't know how I will ever be able to have a normal social life. Things have gotten better with meds, so maybe I just need to find the right ones. I'm seeing my psychiatrist Tuesday so I think I'm going to have to really get across to him the problems I'm having socializing.

If you got this far, thank you for reading. It feels good to be able to open up completely on this forum. This is my inner life that not many people have seen, especially people with Peyronies Disease. Since we all can relate on that level, does anyone have any words of encouragement for me regarding healing the bad feelings from the social anxiety I developed? Also, has anyone ever experienced the loss of sensation on parts of their penis and found a way to regain it?
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jean claude

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Re: Peyronies Disease has destroyed me
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2013, 03:11:26 PM »

Hey there perfect melody.
Just stay positive. Just relax about the sex part. I know it's an important part of life, but a woman will not just be with you for your penis. I have been through this experience as well, but you can also satisfy a woman without penetration. I have been through surgery as well, and had no sensation or orgasm after 3 & 1/2 months after surgery. October will be one year since the operation, and everything is getting better one day at a time. Stay focused, think of only positive things, find a girl who you are comfortable in sharing your deepest secrets or fears, because once you have found her, she will understand your situation, and she will be able to tell you how she can be satisfied by you even without penetration. You are young, and are able to cure more easily than those who are older than most of us. I'm 43 and living a new life after going through hell the past 6 years, but my girlfriend has been through it all with me. Never surrender, never back down... Stay positive. You'll find that someone, who will make you see that this was only a negative part of life, gained experience from it, and made you only a better person from it. My girlfriend said two things to me very important. 1- I didn't fall in love with you penis. 2- good things come to those who wait..

Don't hesitate in visiting your urologist, in asking questions, and don't hesitate in seeking out another doctor for a second opinion. I have had a bad experience with my first uro.(2 years) Research online the best qualified in your city, it may cost, but you will be better off. It cost me a bit, but it was the best decision. My situation was pretty bad,(large plaques left and right, Erectile Dysfunction, prostrate problems)but was lucky to find a really great doctor who was able to help me. My surgery involved the removal of the plaques, semi rigid implants, and the lengthening by cutting the suspensory ligament. As mentioned almost one year, and I am happier than before. Seek out other advise if not pleased with your current doctor. Seek comfort with close friends, it helps alot.(with me it helped alot.) From what I read you are seeking help which is very positive. How long has it been since your surgery? I told my doctor that after 1 & 1/2 months after I had no sensation or orgasms yet, was told it was normal. I was told it could take anywhere from 3 to 6 months even a year until I could feel sensations. Stay positive, you'll get better more than being negative. As you have seen here on the forum, you are not alone...

Claude
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Manny1

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Re: Peyronies Disease has destroyed me
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2019, 07:36:16 PM »

I woke up one morning with a painful erection and from that day my life (literally) changed forever. I have now suffered for nearly 2 years with a bottle neck top of the penis which has caused me so much frustration and anger. I saw 5 different doctors each saying nothing was wrong until the sixth doctor finally said yes it is Peyronies Disease. I am sure others understand how embarrassing going to the doctors was, especially when once a student female doctor was sitting in on one of the conversations. It has taken all my courage to put a brave face on but I am certainly beginning to lose hope and slip into depression and I can see it happening to me but feel helpless. I now find myself looking at other people and feeling jealous that they aren't suffering from this, even though they might be and that makes me even more angry with myself as it is making me a bitter person.

I was always very proud of my penis, it was above average size and perfectly straight, but life has decided to deal me this Peyronies Disease thing and suddenly the tables have turned and I feel less of a man. I have lost my sex drive which I fear is causing a strain on my marriage and I am worried that things might continue to get worse with my condition.

But I have to say that my wife has been so supportive of me and has shown me that she loves me even with my odd shape and she tells me as we get older things start to go wrong but we should just laugh about it which does help a bit. She is right TBH, we all have strange things happen as we get older and some are worse than others but we just have to try and deal with them and make fun of ourselves. I know it's easier said than done though as I am trying my hardest to put a smile on each day.

I am so glad that I found this forum, it seems there is very little help out there for this condition and I hope in the future there will be more help for all the people who suffer with this.


You are not alone.
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Hawk

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Re: Peyronies Disease has destroyed me
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2019, 09:54:32 PM »

Manny1, Welcome to the forum.  You posted on a very old topic that was 6 years old.  I am not sure how that happened but I am glad you found this forum as well.

Please tell us a little bit about yourself: age, treatments tried, whether you have any Erectile Dysfunction, does it interfere with intercourse etc.

Also, read this post https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,3180.0.html  and pay special attention to the part on the psychologic aspect and intimacy.  I would suggest that you read it with your spouse.

Hawk
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Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums
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