pretty depressed

[hhhme0]

dont even know where to start. I dont even want to say my age because im too embarassed. I cant believe I did this to myself. Anyways I have a lot of regret right now and have no idea what to do. Its been about a month now looking at this forum and today I signed up. Im so depressed and cant even do anything...

Long story short.. I had a masturbation problem (now stopped). Now my thing goes to the right and there is some major indentation (especially at half erection). The indentation isn't as pronounced at full erection but the p still leans to the right. My erections also don't feel the same and are weak.  

I did some research into the la county hospital but they just told me to go to the ER. I doubt they would even take me seriously because of how ridiculous my issue is.  

If someone can give me some advice on how to see a urologist without insurance that would be greatly appreciated. I feel really cheap right now but this is one thing I wish I could do more anything I ever wanted. Im trying to be be strong but I dont think I can continue like this.

[KAC]

hhhmeO

My personal opinion is that one good place to start is to hear someone else tell you that, even if you feel embarrassed, you didn't do anything wrong.  I'm almost 50 years old.  I'm married and have a healthy sex life.  And yes, sometimes I still masturbate.  And sometimes that embarrasses me.  But it's also normal.

One thing my urologist told me on my first visit was that I did not cause this problem.  I didn't do anything wrong.  I may have injured myself during sex--who knows if that's the reason I got peyronie's.  But that's not a moral failure.  People do all kinds of crazy things to their genitals and don't get peyronie's.  Plus it takes some courage to start trying to figure out you need help and support and to start doing something about that.  So your being courageous and that's something you can feel proud about.

It does help to approach any urological problems with a bit of confidence and pride.  It will make it a little easier to find your way.  That said, I'm sorry for what you are going through.  You'll also get through it.  

KAC

[guyincog]

Quote deleted by Administrator as a violation of forum rule #7

First off, you haven't done anything to be embarrassed about.  We ALL did something we're embarrassed about.  crap happens.

Not going to the doctor because of that would be a mistake.  Trust us, they see a lot of crazy crap - it is totally not personal.  You would not be seeing them if there wasn't something wrong and all they care about is fixing the problem.  Women have to go on a regular basis and have anoter person swab the inside of their vagina.  It's not comfortable but it's medically required.

We all understand what you're going through.  It's tough.  Trust us, they will take it seriously and will make you feel OK about being there.  The ER is a good place to start - they will put you at the front of the line because penis injuries are often pretty time sensitive.    

Definitely get yourself over there and looked at.  If it's not an emergency then they will set you up with a urologist.  From there you can get some support and advice on these forums.  Best of luck!

[hhhme0]

Thanks for your response, i'm still in shock but I think i'm getting better. Just a little hard to get out of bed sometimes. I'm in my 20's so I worry about a lot about the future (cant get married now, etc). Maybe i'm exaggerating, I don't know. As of now i'm just trying to stay focused and getting a job and hopefully that will open up options for health care. Its just that the issue always pops right back up in the back of my mind but hopefully time will be on my side.

[hhhme0]

Thanks, I really can't say much right now but I will be using this forum.

[ashtown]

This is a rough hand to be dealt at any age but your chances of a good recovery in your 20s are much higher than for older men because your body is just that much more capable of healing itself. They say that roughly 10% of men heal spontaneously from Peyronies and I've often suspected the vast majority of them are under 30, so you have youth on your side hhhme0. It's worth focussing on your strengths when fighting Peyronies.  

[guyincog]

Just a little hard to get out of bed sometimes.

That's generally called depression.  I know because I went through it myself.

It's really important to do things which will help keep the depression at bay: eat good and healthy food (fruits, veggies).  Exercise every single day even if it's a long walk in the evening.  Make sure to keep doing things that are social - phone a friend, talk to your family, etc.

I slipped into a very deep depression and it make things quite hard.  It sounds like you are focusing on some goals and trying to stay positive and that's really good.  If you find you need help make sure to talk to someone or come here to vent.  I am working my way out of this and you can too!  I had all the same thoughts about marriage and my life being over and the guilt and shame.  You'll make it through this.  It's really tough but just try to keep pushing the ball forward every day.