How's it going

[qwerty]

Hey guys, new to this forum and just looking for some help and encouragement so i'll tell you my story.......

I'm 23 years old and I've had a few "serious" relationships.

I was with my 2nd last girlfriend for about a year and a half. Towards the end I developed Peyronie's disease.

I simply woke up one morning at my house alone, and I had a sore erection. I initially thought it was due to me sleeping with jocks on (normally a boxers bloke)or I rolled over my night-time erections awkwardly. I never thought it was a disease. I even remember joking to the people at work saying "Argh my dicks so sore I layed on it wrong or something".

Now, not that it matters to this topic but I was already slightly self-concious about my penis as when I was about 19 I was having drunken sex and my frenulum tore a bit. So now there's a scar there, after that happened not one of my 3 gfs noticed anything, although I would always try to avoid them seeing it.

But anyway there was a node at the base of the penis, which is lucky in a way as the position it's in would be pretty hard to cause obvious bending from what I can gather. It's basically in line where my penis joins my body. I had sore erections for about a month, nothing had changed apart from the pain and the bump. After that, for about 5-6 months my penis was fine, there was a lump still there, and the "cord" along the top of my penis was slightly raised to about halfway, but nothing visually substantial. But I wasn't upset.

Everything still worked fine.

About 2 months ago, I noticed my erections weren't as hard as they normally were. At first I just thought it was me being tired or not feeling "horny" enough, but I found that it was difficult to get the rigidity that I was accustomed too. That's when it all started going downhill(mentally). That same week, was the week that a girl I love, a woman I can see myself spending the rest of my life with became single, and we started dating at the end of that week(my birthday, hooray). I was slightly worried about the erections in the back of my mind(they were still hard(ish)), but the sheer nervousness and anxiety of having sex with her for the first time(I'd had sex many times before with no issues with any other girls) kept me from retaining the erection.

She was awesome, she said it doesn't matter, she said she doesn't care if we never do it.

After about 3 weeks into the relationship I bought a erection pump to remove the brain from the equation, so I could just stick it in there and not have to worry about a thing. Turns out I hated it, I hated the feeling and didn't even try to use it with her. Instead I went to the doctors and got some Viagra. Took half a pill and I was set. Full normal erections were back. Had sex again. Loving it.

But we were going through that process and inability to have sex together(As at that stage I was still not sure if it was Peyronie's causing it, or just my head. She assumed it was the head because we both know it's not uncommon to have first time anxiety with a new girlfriend or woman).

She's now decided that she's not ready for another relationship as yet (She was single for a week before we started dating from a 1 1/2 year relationship) but she still loves me, and could see herself spending the rest of her life with me. So i'm waiting for her now to be ready.

But i'm terrified at the same time.

I'm so afraid that this is just going to get worse. If she decides that she doesn't want to get back together, and the symptom's still there, i'm going to have to meet other girls knowing that I can't get a full erection.
I had sex with her about 4-6 times with Viagra, and I tried once without it but I was hungover, also the nervousness set in... Not too sure why though, I assume because of the rigidity in the back of my mind, but I quickly went flaccid(which was always the issue prior to the Viagra). I can maintain erections by myself when I masturbate so I know it's not the disease. I definitely know there's a mental aspect to having sex with her, i'm not too worried about that side of things. That I can deal with and work through. It's the fact of the loss in hardness. I've probably had the disease for probably about 6-8 months now and apart from the initial shock, this is the first time that it's really affected me.

I don't want to have to keep taking Viagra for the rest of my life.

I'm terrified that it's going to get to the stage where I can't get erections.

I'm terrified of what she'll think of me if we do get back together and I have to tell her about this.

I'm only 23 and i've still got so much to live for and see, things to do. And knowing that i'll have this is definitely going to impact my confidence with women. Not so much talking to them but progressing into relationships again.

It's really starting to hit me the thought that in a years time I might have no erection at all.
And that's something that's really starting to upset me and i'm struggling to deal with....

Note: I'm not contemplating suicide or anything like that. Just feeling pretty low at the moment.

[james1947]

Qwerty

Sorry to hear about your probelms at a young age. I can also understand your anxiety (I was 23 ones, in the far past).
I would like to ask you if you was diagnosed with Peyronies by a doctor or self diagnosed?
It may be Peyronies what you have, it may be not.
Many Peyronies sufferers have ED also, but ED can be from many other reasons.
I am proposing you to read more on the forum to learn about this disease and treatments and to begin a treatment as soon as you can. The best chance to stop progressing the disease and even revers it is early treatment.

Welcome to the forum
James

[Hawk]

No one can have erections when terrified.  If you walk into an orgy and pump a couple rounds through a shotgun, every penis in the room will go limp.  It is not just that they are not thinking of sex because that takes a while for an erection to fade out. adrenalin kills erections and diverts blood to muscles.  Adrenalin is a result of fear, anger, stress.

Get a diagnosis from a GOOD urologist.  Listen to his recommendations and let us know where you are at.  If it is Peyronies Disease there are a list of options. If there is no real deformity and the issue is ED that is a different issue but the problem must be narrowed down by a medical doctor.

[qwerty]

As I said I felt a lump in the penis, down the middle. All the symptoms do seems to indicate peyronie's.
I have visited the doctor a while ago about it, describing my symptoms and he was the first one to suggest peyronie's. He didn't have a physical examination. Although it would've been hard regardless as the lump is almost in the very base. I've got an appointment at a good urologist on December the 6th. It just seems so far away and as i'm sure you understand, when it comes to something like this I want a fix as soon as possible.

A lot of what people are suggesting to take are what i'm already taking for the gym. I already had L-arginine and I take Jack3d which also has a lot of dilating effects. But I typically don't take these on a regular basis only when I do go to the gym. I've been taking Blackmores 1000IU vitamin E for a while as I've read that to be a fairly standard thing to take with people with it.

It's really annoying though, as for example yesterday morning I woke up without an erection, but in the process of laying in bed I ended up getting one, and it was pretty much what it used to be (it's hard to remember now as it was so long ago but it was harder than what i've been experiencing lately). But again I do seem to get fairly nervous even still with my ex(she stayed over last night) and if I didn't take the viagra I highly doubt I would've been able to get an erection. But again this hasn't happened with any other girlfriend, so I think in the back of my mind i'm afraid that I won't be able to get as good of a erection as I was previously used to that and puts me off getting one.

What i'm really trying to get at though is I know there's mental side with some of my erections, but that's not what scares me, as I know I can deal with that. It's more than when i'm by myself, I find it increasingly difficult to get my erection to what it used to be and i'm scared sh**less that it's going to get worse.

I just ordered some Acetyl L-Carnitine so what I might do is just start taking that and the L-arginine on a regular basis to see if I can get some improvement. As I know getting proper erections back without taking viagra would instantly boost my confidence.

Do you think it's worth me going to the doctors and getting some Pentoxifylline also? Or should I just see how the Acetyl and L-arg goes first?

Thanks for your help though guys this is really helping me out.

[james1947]

Qwerty

L-Arginine, Acetyl L-Carnitine may not do nothing bad if you don't have low blood pressure.
I was adding to them CoQ10 for general health.
Low dose daily Cialis may help with the erections. To reduce the cost, I am cutting the 20mg pill in 5pcs.
Regarding Pentox, you may want to wait until your appointment with the uro. If he will confirm that you have Peyronies, it will be good to begin taking it daily.
The uro can make a physical examination and also an ultrasound with flaccid penis to see if you really have or not Peyronies.
Last remark, December 6th is less than two months.

James