My husband has had the disease for 2 years now

[mm]

Hi
My husband has had the disease for 2 years now, & we can no longer have a sexual relationship
I am completely devasted, yet he believes we should both just accept it & move on, he says he has
I feel he no longer desires me, & we will never be intimate again
We have been told there is nothing that can be done
I feel so alone & so sad for the both of us
How do others manage with thi situation?
Tahnks for your time
mm

[reynell]

To anglehunter and mm

Dont give up on your guys, sounds like they are very lucky of have women like you to stand by them.
They are going through a VERY difficult time right now. Its even embarrassing to talk to your spouse about it. Give them time to come to terms with ti just be there if and when they come around. DONT force the issue. It is probably more emotionally devastating than physically. They question every thing about their man hood at this point.

Both need to try to get on the women's only portion if that helps. But dont be afraid to get one of our prospectives on the issue. Every guy on this site i have meet has been respectfully and adult about the subject and are willing to tell you things that yours guys probably wont admit.

I have a lot of time to think about it, there is more negative than positive and ill admit that now just weeks before to have surg i still have the thought of "ill just live with it".  My wife and i are still having some problems dealing with it me more than her.

DONT GIVE UP !

[james1947]

mm

Sorry to hear your problems. I know is devastating, especially because of what the doctors had told you.

We have been told there is nothing that can be done

is completely wrong!
Have many things that can be done and I am sure you and your husband can find the way. This forum can help you finding the way with all the experience and knowledge accumulated during the years and I am sure you was not to the right doctor!

I don't think your husband believe that you should just accept it and move one. The point is that he things that don't have solution.
Regarding his desire to you I suppose the point is that he don't want to show desire because he knows that bot of you will remain just with the desire.
Try somehow to make him aware that sex is not just penetration. Have many other things to do to satisfy each other.

If you will give some more details regarding your husband situation, people on the forum will be able to give you some advice and the number one advice is to see a Peyronies specialist.

Try out http://www.acsh.com.au/ also

James

[Skjaldborg]

Hi MM,

I am sorry that you are going through this. You are a wonderful person for supporting your husband through this difficult time. Nonetheless, your needs and desires are important as well.

Marriage counseling of some sort would probably be beneficial. Also, a lack of desire on your husband's part may not just be a result of the psychological aspects of Peyronie's; he might be suffering from low testosterone, a condition which is very treatable. As far as dealing with Peyronie's, there are many treatments that can be effective. I took pentox for 8 months which completely resolved the pain and resulted in a reduction in my curvature/indentations. I am not cured but I am much, much better.

Lastly, remind your husband how attractive he is to you and that you love all of him, not just what he has below the belt. You might have to tell him over and over again until he believes it.

Good luck,

Skjaldborg

[jackp]

Hi MM

Who ever the doctor was that told your husband there was nothing that could be done for him needs to be put out of practice!!!

There are a couple of my post that you need to print out and leave for him to read. When I first considered an implant my wife was sceptical. I printed out some information and left it on her desk. One day she picked it up and read it. That gave her a new prospective.

Print out my story I call "One Mans Journey". It tell of my 20+ year struggle with peyronies, severe ED, low testosterone, corporal fibrosis and venous leakage.

Then print out my story about 3 1/2 years after my implant surgery.

Both of these are on this forum and my blog. There are several more stories on my blog that may be helpful to you and him.

Any questions please do not hesitate to contact me.

Jackp

http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com/

jwp104@att.net (email)

[reynell]

I agree with Jack

Not to speak bad of your Dr but its people like him that cause men like your husband to be depressed and lose hope.
Listen the the men on this site that have been there and didn't give up.

[dioporcolorisolvo]

Life is hard, you can try to think what it happens when this disease comes at 27 years.
You are not too unlucky if you think well.
Life is hard, don't be desperate, after all you are not suffering.

[reynell]

It is devastating on a marriage when you cant have relations both suffer. My wife and i are having a very difficult time. For her to enjoy sex she needs penetration, i don't but when i try it feels like I'm being burned with a blow torch.  I have had 8 major surg and i can tell you "I" have NEVER felt pain like this!  And i am deformed like a knotted rope. Didn't enjoy it any and i paid for it till midmorning the next day. So you can look at it many ways. I dont care what it takes Right now I WANT AN IMPLANT !  I dont know if my marriage can survive with out it. This condition is just the catalyst for other problems to arise so my point is,...... hang in there and dont take no for an answer. I'm not.

[dioporcolorisolvo]

It is devastating on a marriage when you cant have relations both suffer. My wife and i are having a very difficult time. For her to enjoy sex she needs penetration, i don't but when i try it feels like I'm being burned with a blow torch.  I have had 8 major surg and i can tell you "I" have NEVER felt pain like this!  And i am deformed like a knotted rope. Didn't enjoy it any and i paid for it till midmorning the next day. So you can look at it many ways. I dont care what it takes Right now I WANT AN IMPLANT !  I dont know if my marriage can survive with out it. This condition is just the catalyst for other problems to arise so my point is,...... hang in there and dont take no for an answer. I'm not.

when i say that she is not suffering i mean that she is not ill, his husband is ill.

[james1947]

We can continue to give advices and discuss the subjet, maybe our new member mm will be online one day again to read our posts.  
Last time she was online when she opened the topic.  

James

[mm]

Thank you for your reply, you seem very kind & I suspect are a very nice man.
My situation is different in that I feel my husband has lost all hope & interest in having sex.
His penis has completely shrunken inside, & he has lost sensation
He refuses to go back to see the dr again...it is over for him
But not for me, I miss the intimacey, & the feeling of being desired
I feel his attitude is very selfish & uncaring
I am very attracted to another man, & want to experience sex again
But i have 2 teenage girls, & he is married...so the situation will never change for these reasons
The disease is cruel, and misunderstood, & not promoted as an issue in mens health
I am very glad things have turned out well for you & you wife
I wish you an ongoing positive recovery
Thanks for your time
mm

[jackp]

It is sad that your husband has given up. The doctor that told him there was no help should be reported to the medical board.

He needs a mental health professional. Sounds like he is very depressed. Viibryd is a new antidepressant that may work wonders for him.  You also need counseling on how to deal with him and your emotional roller coaster. You have some serious decisions to make. As for the married man move on and do not disrupt another family. Your teenagers probally know there is trouble in your marriage. A good counselor will help guide you and you may need an attorney.

There are some doctors in Australia that can help him. Someone on this forum may know of one, if not let me know and I will use my contacts to help you find one.

Jackp
http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com/