Daydreaming, meditation, the past/present/future.

[swolf]

This is coming from someone that daydreams constantly, but I've read that daydreaming can in some sense lead to unhappiness. (http://www.accessrx.com/blog/current-health-news/mind-wandering-meditation-a1112) Since I read that article a while ago I have been thinking about it in a first-hand way, and I feel it is true. I would never get rid of my imagination--it's also a source of great consolation and joy--but I do realize that excessive indulging in these images in my head doesn't always lead to pleasant states. Painful thoughts about what the past was, wasn't, and could have been; painful thoughts about what the future's not going to be... they are essentially a product of current insecurities and preconceptions, the staging of little dramas in the head.

There is research to prove our memories of the past are always evolving, and when a memory is called up and actively remembered it is subtly taking on dimensions of our present state. There is no solid past.

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/How-Our-Brains-Make-Memories.html?c=y&story=fullstory
http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2011/07/01/3257798.htm
http://www.sciencemag.org/content/333/6038/108

Furthermore, our perceptions of events at the time they are happening is always flawed and incomplete and then we reshape those flawed perceptions every time we revisit those memories. The past exists only in our minds and our minds are easily changeable and so the past itself becomes malleable as well.

(Hardcore Zen by Brad Warner, pg 77)

Likewise, endlessly focusing on the future can be taxing on the mind and lead to stress and disillusionment. The future is unwritten. Being a logical person, I am always able to convince myself that my thoughts and daydreams of the future running through my head are "real," or at least very likely, as I'm able to convince myself they are the logical acting-out of a plausible chain of cause and effect. But these thoughts too are essentially unreal. My thoughts about the future change every day - if you asked me what I thought and felt about the future three Tuesdays ago I wouldn't be able to tell you. Just like my thoughts tonight will be gone tomorrow, replaced by new, equally ephemeral ones. Probably similar to those of today, but born out of the dynamics of tomorrow's mental biases and worries. Logic is a tool to be used, and like a tool it is helpful to put it away when it's not needed, especially when it is being used to hammer away at something as essentially unknowable as the future. Balance is the key in all things (...easier said than done).

Living in and being aware of the present moment is what counts, along with filling that present moment with meaningful activities. I find I am at my absolute happiest when I'm doing things like mowing the lawn, and thinking about nothing else other than... mowing the lawn. Which I rarely actually do... chopping wood is more likely. They're forms of meditation for me. Trying to meditate, however briefly, at least once a day is helpful for me at breaking up ongoing chains of thoughts that only end up being corrosive to health. Being mindful and aware of the present moment. There are many actual, measurable cognitive benefits, too, but they don't interest me so much besides knowing that they're there.

My acupuncturist told me that one of his mentors told him "If you have a headache, enjoy it." I realize this is extremely hard, and it is a constant struggle for me personally, but it's something to think about.  

[james1947]

Your post is very deep philosophically and psychologically. I am sure that writing it down was also not easy.
With my poor philosophy and psychology (I have grown up two successfull kids, I am trying to do it again with two others) I can appreciate what you have pointed out.

Regarding dreams and hope, an old Thai friend told me ones that just dad people don't dream and don't hope.
About

Painful thoughts about what the past was, wasn't, and could have been

the elders in my village are saying:
"Don't cry for the milk that spilled out from the jar. In any case you can't recollect the milk. Just try to learn from the past not to do the same mistake again"

One more remark, regarding your acupuncturist:
I  try, really try to enjoy my headaches but I never succeed.

James

[swolf]

I am sure that writing it down was also not easy.

Yeah, it took me quite a while. I'm what you would call chronically spiritually inclined, though, haha. Tending to the inner garden is important for me, especially since if I let it go for a short period of time without doing that, it'll grow all over the place, and once it's overgrown it takes forever to hack it back to something manageable.