give up

[dioporcolorisolvo]

Hi, this is a very difficult period for me.
11 years ago I bought a weapon to kill myself but I didn't. It was 2013.
I have peyronie since 2010. I was 27 years old at the time.
I lived a difficult life, peyronie wasn't my only health problem.
The 2023 has been a very trying year, peyronie came back in January and in October my most important relationship ended. I'm 40 years old now.
I fought the war against this disease by any means for 13 years. I did a decent job given the fact that no woman complained about my sexual performances so far.
You can hardly imagine how many things I did to fight the disease. The fight is not over and my condition could even improve in the future but now I'm very, very tired.
I'm not even desperate like I was in 2013. I simply feel dead inside. I'm tired of living.
I'm also worried about my mom who has been fighting cancer for years.
Sometimes I think how I could continue to live when she will die... where to find the motivation to not give up.
Don't worry about me because if I'm writing it means that I'm far from the act of suicide. When I was very close to it the last thing I would have done was write on a forum.
So don't worry.
I wrote this post only to say that I'm alone, as many of you feel, and I'm tired.
Tomorrow will be another day in this continuous struggle called life.
Another day in a chain of meaningless days.
 

[Bfubar]

Please hang in there. Everybody on this forum knows how you feel. I have been through hell on earth it seems.
I will share every bit of knowledge I have. I have tried everything imaginable and finally received my implant 2 months ago and am cured. Keep reaching out. This site is a lifesaver. That is why I finally joined so I can give back instead of just taking knowledge from others. Ask all the questions you want. There are very very intelligent people on this forum.

You got this I promise you there is light at the end of this tunnel.

[Bfubar]

I see that you have been on this forum for a very long time. Waaayyy longer than me. Of course I have been following forever. I am curious what your Journey through this horrible disease has been like.
Always good to talk.

[Hawk]

It sounds like this is more than just the effects of Peyronies Disease.  Saying, "no women ever ever complained about my performance," is a HUGE statement.  It is expected that we outlive our parents.  While it is painful to lose a loved one, it is the natural order of life.  If coping with these natural trials seems totally overwhelming, it is an indication that you need a GOOD psychologist to help you improve things, much like we would go to a good trainer to help us get into top shape.

There are self-help books and respected courses that teach us how to improve happiness and peace of mind.  It involves things that are not what we instinctively think, so they can be very helpful.  If you are interested, I have a few suggestions, but a good psychologist might be your best bet since doing this on your own requires you to at least overcome the temptation to vegetate and do nothing.

Good luck!  Keep us posted and let us know what you try or what you are willing to try.