I feel absolutely terrible

[305made]

I have been feeling like absolute trash the more I have been thinking about my situation.

Growing up I did I have a very bad porn addiction from an early age like 12. And sexual things were my escape in a way.

And I can't help but think this has what has led to me having what is probably Peyronies permanently altering my dick. I feel guilty like I brought this on myself.

The pain is absolutely relentless and constant. I wish it would go away. I feel bad for all the other men here in the same situation.

What woman is gonna want a 21 guy with a penis that barley works? How can I ever have a relationship like this? At least one that lasts.

I feel like my manhood has been taken away, I'll be out and about and a women will be staring at me and I can't even do anything because what's the even point of going to talk to her knowing eventually it can lead to no where.

The things I would do for a rock hard erection and a pain free penis.

 

[Sonic]

100% share your pain and also your thoughts but you need to ask yourself the same question as me, how does thinking about the past help in any way? I also used to dwell a lot about how perfect my penis was and how easy I could get rock hard and that I brought this upon myself and what if I was more careful and so on.. Fact is it creates more damage than we already have psychologically. The sad fact is we are prone to this disease and that means regardless of how careful and thoughtful we could be we would most likely end up getting it anyway.

I can't speak for the pain part and deeply sympathize with you regarding this. I luckily only had pain for around 5 days at the onset of the disease. Someone need to do a thorough exam on you to see where this constant pain comes from. Best advice I can give is don't give a damn  or pay any attention to the past because that's just exactly what it is the past. Think about what you can do right now to get to a better place. Find a good urologist and discuss all potential options. I know that is easier said than done but really, it's the only thing that can be done..

[Mikel7]

So I'll say what Sonic has stated is spot on! Don't relive the past. Get with a new Dr and get a plan. Educate yourself on peyronies and you'll be far more better in the long run. Do you even realize that with you being young gives you the advantage of healing quicker than us older gents?

You will make it through this and will have a relationship and will have a functioning penis. Get a hold on your emotional side and mindset. Your life is far from over and you still have a lot to experience and enjoy and grow from.

Every human being in this world has difficult challenges set before them. It is how we assess and approach these challenges that defines us. You say you feel like trash and I say that is a lie you actually believe. I bet you can think of one good thing your are good at. I also believe that there are people in your life that care about you and actually love you. You need to think on these positive things and believe that you are worth more than what you believe about yourself!

Yes porn can have damaging affects on us and I won't go into the details. I can tell you though that you can look to the future and conquer this part of your life! I have had enormous challenges in my life and recently had to come to terms with a permanent disability that I almost committed suicide over. I was wrong though and realized of all of the great things in life I still possessed. You also need to do a re-evaluation of your life and realize that things can get better - and will in time.

You are here within a community that is the best on the internet with a great bunch of guys and a few girls that care! Read our stories and educate yourself about this disease. Ask questions and form a plan for yourself. Get a peyronies Dr if it is possible and work together. You are just starting your life - don't despair! We are all here cheering your on!

Mikel7  

[Sonic]

Very good post Mike. 305, I do not fully know your situation and what diagnose you really have but I noticed you have written in the signature that you notice a dent while flaccid but not when erect. This is good. Flaccid/semi erect dents that fill out upon erection point rather towards hard flaccid than peyronies. You are very young.

I will write below what has helped me personally with keeping inflammation down stabilizing my Peyronies and what I have done to have better quality of erections.

1. Cardio is very important, a healthy heart is a healthy penis. My gym memebership sadly ended in July and due to financial situation I could not extend it but I noticed that using the assault bike/air bike daily lead to better blood flow and better erections. Right now I am taking long walks. It does not help as much as the bike did but at least it is something. Some form of cardiovascular training to increase circulation is vital. Also lifting weights certainly help due to the testosterone increase.

2. Buy a good blood flow supplement. Pure L Citrulline powder is what I have found is the absolute best and helps greatly with better erections and better blood flow. I take 4000 mg per day. Some times I combine it with 5mg Cialis and that makes the erections MUCH better.

3. Try reduce anxiety/stress as much as you can. Anxiety/stress is probably the biggest erection killer. Try do deep breathing and look up how to relax your pelvic floor by doing deep breathing reverse kegels. I know with this disease it's easier said than done to reduce anxiety but it is a must for improvement.

4. Diet. This is a crucial aspect for erectile health as I have learned from personal experience. Avoid bad foods and sugar at all costs. Avoid nicotine, avoid smoking, avoid sugar!! I have noticed that whenever I keep a very strict/clean diet protocol then my erections, well being and anxiety all improves. It is no coincidence that diabetes is heavily linked with Peyronies, sugar is an enemy for the penis. A bad diet also increases inflammation markers and it will only contribute to making your penile pain worse and last longer.

5. Try to avoid porn as much as you can. I know this is easier said than done. But regularly watching it will mess with your arousal levels and in the long run start impacting your erections due to messed up dopamine levels and destroyed arousal levels. I am no angél myself in this regard. I try quit permanently but always go back. It is a lifelong battle. You are still very young. Take it from me. It has permanently damaged the way my brain works.

As an end note you really need to get a proper exam and get clarity as of where your penile pain comes from. Sometimes it can radiate from the pelvic floor into the penis which can make you think the pain comes from the penis but really it is coming from someplace else. The fact that you have flaccid pain and flaccid dent which fill out when erect points towards hard flaccid which is a pelvic floor issue.

Dr Trost just wrote this in his personal section on the forum. ''Constant pain with flaccid and erect is more common with hard flaccid than Peyronies Disease or trauma, and Erectile Dysfunction is also more common with hard flaccid in general''. Valuable info regarding your situation.

Best of luck!

[Andy_1492]

I think all young guys have porn addiction given the accessibility at young age. So I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about that.

I think the convenient thing about modern dating is you can find a girl tell her the situation and she can either take it or leave it. Move on to the next one if she don't like it. Sort of a shot to nothing so to speak.

I think ultimately women aren't that interested in the presentation of a dick and most women I know tell me they cannot climax from penetrative sex. So really alot of the issue comes down to personal male ego.

Additionally psychology plays a larger role then you think. Alot of men with these issues have a real phobia/trauma related to sexual issues. Any physical aspect is very much compounded by this.

 

[305made]

Appreciate all the responses guys they've really helped me be more logical and less emotional about the situation.  

[305made]

Very good post Mike. 305, I do not fully know your situation and what diagnose you really have but I noticed you have written in the signature that you notice a dent while flaccid but not when erect. This is good. Flaccid/semi erect dents that fill out upon erection point rather towards hard flaccid than peyronies. You are very young.

I will write below what has helped me personally with keeping inflammation down stabilizing my Peyronies and what I have done to have better quality of erections.

1. Cardio is very important, a healthy heart is a healthy penis. My gym memebership sadly ended in July and due to financial situation I could not extend it but I noticed that using the assault bike/air bike daily lead to better blood flow and better erections. Right now I am taking long walks. It does not help as much as the bike did but at least it is something. Some form of cardiovascular training to increase circulation is vital. Also lifting weights certainly help due to the testosterone increase.

2. Buy a good blood flow supplement. Pure L Citrulline powder is what I have found is the absolute best and helps greatly with better erections and better blood flow. I take 4000 mg per day. Some times I combine it with 5mg Cialis and that makes the erections MUCH better.

3. Try reduce anxiety/stress as much as you can. Anxiety/stress is probably the biggest erection killer. Try do deep breathing and look up how to relax your pelvic floor by doing deep breathing reverse kegels. I know with this disease it's easier said than done to reduce anxiety but it is a must for improvement.

4. Diet. This is a crucial aspect for erectile health as I have learned from personal experience. Avoid bad foods and sugar at all costs. Avoid nicotine, avoid smoking, avoid sugar!! I have noticed that whenever I keep a very strict/clean diet protocol then my erections, well being and anxiety all improves. It is no coincidence that diabetes is heavily linked with Peyronies, sugar is an enemy for the penis. A bad diet also increases inflammation markers and it will only contribute to making your penile pain worse and last longer.

5. Try to avoid porn as much as you can. I know this is easier said than done. But regularly watching it will mess with your arousal levels and in the long run start impacting your erections due to messed up dopamine levels and destroyed arousal levels. I am no angél myself in this regard. I try quit permanently but always go back. It is a lifelong battle. You are still very young. Take it from me. It has permanently damaged the way my brain works.

As an end note you really need to get a proper exam and get clarity as of where your penile pain comes from. Sometimes it can radiate from the pelvic floor into the penis which can make you think the pain comes from the penis but really it is coming from someplace else. The fact that you have flaccid pain and flaccid dent which fill out when erect points towards hard flaccid which is a pelvic floor issue.

Dr Trost just wrote this in his personal section on the forum. ''Constant pain with flaccid and erect is more common with hard flaccid than Peyronies Disease or trauma, and Erectile Dysfunction is also more common with hard flaccid in general''. Valuable info regarding your situation.

Best of luck!

Thanks for all the advice and help man 👍🏻

[305made]

So I'll say what Sonic has stated is spot on! Don't relive the past. Get with a new Dr and get a plan. Educate yourself on peyronies and you'll be far more better in the long run. Do you even realize that with you being young gives you the advantage of healing quicker than us older gents?

You will make it through this and will have a relationship and will have a functioning penis. Get a hold on your emotional side and mindset. Your life is far from over and you still have a lot to experience and enjoy and grow from.... We are all here cheering your on!

Mikel7  

Thanks man this really helped .