A Success Story

[AcceptingTheCurve]

I developed Peyronies Disease about 4 years ago (45-60 degree curve) and wanted to share my success story.  Like many I wasn't sure how it happened - didn't have a clear event of physical trauma, etc.  My ex at the time claimed she didn't care about it but I did notice our sex felt more uncomfortable and to make matters worse our relationship and sex life was already deteriorating due to general dysfunction (she had BPD and I was super codependent - but that's another story).  I remember a distinct moment in which I broke down in tears because I had been the one initiating sex for so long and after my Peyronies Disease developed I shared that I was afraid we would never have sex because I didn't have the confidence to initiate anymore.  And lo and behold that fear became a reality.  Our sex life pretty much diminished to zero.

Fast forward to us breaking up (I don't actually attribute it to my Peyronies Disease) me diving into working on myself, and becoming much healthier psychologically.  Break up ended up being a huge blessing and I was finally in a place of improved self love and self acceptance.. except for my dick.  I didn't dare dive back into the dating or hookup world, I was pretty much in a place of despair any time I thought about it and part of me was resigned to giving up on relationships/sex, especially after so many times going down the internet rabbit hole researching treatments and horror stories (which, like all health issues, never makes one feel better or more confident).

Eventually a close female friend of mine and I reconnected after many years, and at one point the friendship started to tread into more-than-friends territory.  I was super locked up and shut down sexually, and terrified.  Eventually, after much poking and prodding on her part, I broke down and shared with her about my Peyronies Disease.  It was horribly vulnerable and I definitely cried while sharing with her.  She tried to reassure me, stating she has seen all kinds of different dicks over the years (lol) and she was sure I was making a bigger deal out of it than I needed to.  Of course this didn't make me feel any better; I was sure that I was broken and that she would be disgusted by my curved dick, as I was.  

Eventually I surrendered and finally took the plunge, we talked it out before hand (we're both therapists so of course we processed it out ahead of time) and one night at a rave we made out in a tent and she took my pants off.  I was stiff as a board and super uncomfortable and ashamed.  When she got her hands on me she simply said, 'this is what all the fuss was about!?" And proceeded to give me a bj, with success.  I felt immensely sexually liberated from that experience and we had a wonderful weekend together, but after that point we discussed sex, and I stated that I didn't know if it would work or not, that it might be uncomfortable for one or both of us, etc.  Again she was full steam ahead, unfazed, so again I gave in and gave it a go.  Not only did it work, but it was great.  Not uncomfortable at all.

The last hurdle was doggie style, which I also assumed was off limits.  Again I hemmed and hawed, but we tried it, and, yes you're catching on now, it was splendid.  Not only that but she reports my curve hits her G spot perfectly.  

Fast forward to now, we've been a loving relationship with a great sex life for the last year and half.  Yes my dick is just as curved as it always was, but I've come to accept it and work with it as is and she really helped me with that.  Sure I'm not super stoked that my dick got curved in the first place, I definitely lost length and it's not as sensitive now (though that allows me to last longer), and sometimes it will ache especially after having a sex for days in a row, and I also have to be careful with certain sex positions as it is more prone to be bent and injured now that it's curved (I jammed it once and was terrified it would make it worse, but thankfully it was just bruised with no increase in Peyronies Disease), but I also have to reflect on how this issue of mine and the vulnerability around it stopped me from just jumping into one night stands after my breakup, and forced me to wait until I was with someone who was truly loving and trustworthy.  

The bottom line of this story is not to minimize the impact of Peyronies Disease, but to illustrate how in my case, as I suspect is the case with many men with mild to moderate Peyronies Disease, 90% of the issue was psychological, and 10% physiological.  Our dicks are so interwoven with our sense of manhood and our ability to be the men in relationships, of course it is devastating when it seems like we are now broken or defective.   I am sharing a success story that had nothing to do with straightening my dick and everything to do with self acceptance and finding that right person with whom I could build intimacy with our bodies imperfect as is.  Eventually all of our bodies will fall apart, but real love transcends these things.   I am writing this for any of you men out there despairing, wishing for you that you are able to find that same place of acceptance and the ability to connect, and enjoy sex, despite it.    

[Mikel7]

Thank you AcceptingTheCurve for that inspiring and heartfelt introduction! Yes it is true that peyronies is both a physical disease as well as a psychological one too. You are very fortunate that your deformity was manageable and not as bad as you thought. For others it is not so true. For other members referencing your post would you please fill out your signature line and give a shortened synopsis
of your story -->Signature Line . Finally if you need to educate yourself more regarding peyronies here is our survival guide for reference -->Survival Guide . The best to you and your future!

Mikel7    

[beaulieu1008]

Hey ATC. Thank you very much for sharing your story. I find it very encouraging. Thanks  

[Arthur]

That's awesome, brother!

Thanks for sharing your story with all of us! I'm so happy for you!

I agree that most of us relate the condition  of our penis with our manhood and most of the problem (also in my case) is psychological and not physiological.