That wasn't a vein... (27 and scared)

[lsssr]

Age?
27.

What are your symptoms?
For as long as I can remember I'd get a dull ache in the side of my penis after masturbating. Not super fun to admit this but I masturbate a lot, like multiple times a day, for hours and hours. I write dirty books and draw dirty art as a side hustle so jerking off became intertwined with my hobbies. Anyway I assumed the ache was just a varicose vein or something due to keeping an erection so long so often, until I finally decided to Google about it and found Peyronie's.

Now I notice the hourglassing in the side of my penis, right where the ache is.  

And thinking back -- there was a time back when I was a teenager when I was masturbating and I cranked my shaft a little too far to the right, and a sharp pain went shooting down the opposite side. The same side where the pain and hourglassing is today.

Was that the feeling of me breaking my dick?

Even worse, did I re-injure it a hundred times with all the jerking off since then? If the original injury happened ~10 years ago then it should probably have settled down by now instead of still hurting, right?

How long have you had symptoms?
Don't know if it started with that original injury or some point afterward.

What did your medical doctor conclude?
Haven't been to the doctor yet but I made 3 different appointments because I read about how dismissive some of them can be. Might even schedule a fourth just to increase the odds of finding someone who will listen.

What treatments have you tried and what were the results?
Nothing yet. I have a heated blanket on my lap right now and it's helping with the ache a bit. I give it a stretch with my hand every now and then.

Do you have insurance or means to get medical treatment?
I have Obamacare/MarketPlace insurance because I got let go from my job a few months ago. (The tech layoffs in the news.) Perfect timing, right?

Are you in a relationship?
In a long-distance... thing... with someone, and the lack of clarity about 'what we are' definitely isn't helping my general stress levels right now.

Where are you in dealing with the psychological aspects of Peyronies Disease?
(self-harm trigger warning) Don't want to be dramatic but I'm kinda thinking about killing myself.

I'm stuck inside a body with pimples, a receding hairline, depression/anhedonia, and now it's going to have chronic pain and a crooked dick? No thanks. I'm not interested in this experience anymore. The idea of hurting myself or O.D.-ing is scary. If there was a button I could push that would just poof me out of existence I would push it.

Please suggest any good docs near Houston, TX.    

[LWillisjr]

Google Dr. Larry Lipshultz