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[James884]

Hello...I'm in a mess and desperate for some advise. I had an MRI scan last month and it was confirmed that I had a fracture but it's now all healed 'apparently' and the urologist discharged me saying no peyronies was present. All tissue is soft.

I injured my penis in 2018, can't really recall the event too greatly. I didn't take much notice, it worked ok afterwards no real cause for concern. There was no major bruising. I just missed the target drunk. I didn't even know fracturing your penis was an actual thing. Months down the line it would hurt a little if I had too much sex (like 3 times in a day) but a days rest always put things right. Forward a year to 2019 I went on antidepressants because my ex stopped me seeing my kids. (We had split up about 4 years previously) The antidepressants were called trazodone, I highly recommend nobody ever taking these EVER. I suffered a priapism as a side effect to the drugs (erection that doesn't go down) this lasted about 4 hours, it was the scariest thing of my life. Woke up to my penis throbbing. Went to A&E and luckily it went down on its own without intervention. My penis felt so sore afterwards. I was worried I'd never get an erection ever again. Doctor said it wouldn't of done any damage as it was only 4 hours. It was sore for a few days afterwards with a noticeable crescent shaped lump wrapped around the right side of my penis. (This must of been the original fracture site) which was made worse by the 4 hour long erection!... My erections came back to full capacity a week later but on flaccid it would lean to the right handside with some hour glassing. When erect it would straighten out. No pain.... Forward two more years to the present day. I'm in absolute despair some days I'm genuinely suicidal. I have a lovely girlfriend who loves me and wants to stand by me, I have full custody of my son now and I see my daughter at weekends. My life has turned around in so many positive ways, but I'm an absolute mess! Why? I'm in pain. Erections seem ok, I can get an erection and it's relatively straight but with a soft crescent shaped lump. (If I press my fingers along the shaft where the lump is, it's dented slightly) I can actually enjoy sex but after my erection goes I'm ok for a few hours but then I'm in constant pain. Everyday pain on the right handside of my penis but it's never ending. It's always there. It's crushing me mentally. I don't want to masturbate or have sex anymore because I know it will be worse afterwards. I'm 37 years old and feel like my life is over (I know I'm being dramatic) but can't help it. I feel less of a man, my mental state is in tatters. I'm praying that somehow it will heal properly but I'm very doubtful 2 even 3 years later (3 years injury, 2 years priapism) I can't believe my luck. The two combined have seriously messed me up. The urologist thinks because I can get an erection and there's no hard plaque it's all good but it's not when 99% of the time it feels sore, like an open wound. It's a constant reminder. I've been looking at different supplements? Cutting sugar out my diet (I eat a bit of chocolate) sugar isn't good I guess for inflammation or healing. Infrared heat lamps?..Does anyone have any advice. I can't tell you how much I'd appreciate some. Anybody here have something similar? The urologist said it will just take time. But I'm doubtful being already 2/3 years down the line. Thank you in advance... I just want to feel me again. It's awful not being able to confide in anyone. Sick of people thinking I'm mardy or down without reason. People at work would understand if they knew but I can't tell them. It's such a chore getting up in a morning. It's just not fair. As I'm sure most of you guys will relate.

[Joe_D]

NOT overly dramatic, friend! Many here have felt as low as this!

[Benraycamp0]

Welcome to the forum!

Please read through our Survival Guide as it has a ton of useful information about this condition -  https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php?topic=3180.0

Could you please take a minute to fill out your signature line? It's hard to remember your case details out of 20,000 members. You can save us all from typing the same 40 questions over and over.  You can find instructions here - https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,10819.0.html

[James884]

NOT overly dramatic, friend! Many here have felt as low as this!

Cheers buddy. I know I'm not alone but it sure as hell feels like it at times

[Kobegianna]

I feel your pain and despair. Family and friends keep asking when I’m going to get married. They have no idea the hell im going through. I just want to make like a public announcement so everyone would just understand and leave me alone. Friends get mad because I don’t want to go out and party with them. They get feelings hurt.  So I been forcing myself to go out. But when I’m there I am clearly not there mentally

[Pfract]

James884: I too fractured my penis on what it seems like a very similar situation to yours. I had no major bruising. Just a small hematoma on the right side. You mention 2018 since your fracture, and then subsequent priapism. It's a lot to take in mentally.... not only you have been through a penile fracture, you also had that big traumatic event. ´

It's tough no doubt. By now your situation should be stable and if it doesn't seem to be progressing to peyronies, then that's what you will be left with. This means that you can start focusing on the treatments that work for Erectile Dysfunction if you have some degree of it. Cialis daily or viagra, if you need it. There is also VED that you can use, that members here have reported plenty of times that helped them with their symptoms.

Another thing is that you have a very important thing in your situation. An understanding partner. that is half the battle right there. Talk to her, be open about your situation and experiment things that work and ones that don't at ease.

You say that your erections are good, but your mental state is a mess. Have you considered talking to a real therapist? BetterHelp | Professional Counseling With A Licensed Therapist I was recommended this before and it seems pretty cool.

[James884]

Kobegianna... I completely understand. I too feel like I want people to know 'why' I'm a down, I'm not down just for the hell of it like people think I am. It's such a taboo subject. I know friends would take the piss behind my back and I don't want that. I also get the statement you're there but not there mentally at a party. Hope to God one day we overcome this thing.

[James884]

Pfract thank you for your lengthy response... yeah my situation does sound similar. How are you years down the line regarding pain? I have thought about one of these VED devices to try and expand the width to stop the hourglass effect. Not after anymore width just no indentation. Truthfully I'm a bit scared to use one incase it causes anymore damage.

Yeah my erections are good, they're strong and straight so don't feel like I need any viagra. It's just the scarring and the pain after sex what bothers me. It really puts me off sex. I walk around work in pain. The major factor is how that effects my mental state. The scarring doesn't bother me to be honest. Just looks like a vein when erect. I have received some therapy about this but non of it really works on me when the pain doesn't go. It's just a constant reminder.

I'd say my biggest mental challenge is even though my gf is supportive and lovely. She really enjoys sex. Before all this she had a high sex drive (we both did) I feel like I can't 'provide' and this feeling is tearing me apart. Sometimes I feel like I'd be better growing old on my own without any expectation. (I know this sounds idiotic but it's how I feel) the thought of her masturbating kills me. She doesn't do it infront of me but I know she does it. I feel like I'm better off alone. I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on this.

[Pfract]

Well..... I still have pain when I get an erection with my penis bent in my pants. But I can have sex and I am able to hold an erectionlike you. You should try daily cialis for a while and see how it benefits you or not. This can definitely be devastating mentally... I feel your pain... You should definitely not close in on yourself. It's tough to open up about it.... You feel exposed. It's awkward. But it's good if you do. She may understand and chances are you will get stronger together and work this out.


Becoming distant is never a good thing....

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