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Author Topic: Worst Case Scenario and otther worries  (Read 1424 times)

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Nocekgari

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Worst Case Scenario and otther worries
« on: July 09, 2019, 02:06:41 PM »

Hello everybody, I believe I have Peyronies Disease. It developed after a very obvious trauma during sex. Classic scenario: she was on top, penis slipped out, hit her pelvis, cracking sound...this happened on May 30th. At first I thought it was a mild fracture, visited a urologist, he couldn't find any plaques or scar tissue. He said it is only a trauma and I should be careful in my future sexual life. The thing is, I couldn't believe him, because I could feel something was not right. Constant pain during the day, hard flaccid syndrom etc, penis shrinked both flaccid and during erection. Saw another urologist today and he said "you may or may not get Peyronies Disease, no way to know, just be careful." This is not something I didn't know.

I've been incredibly depressed. Even had a panic atack due to anxiety. Weird and stupid thoughts come and go every second I breathe.

-I always had a slight curve both downwards and to the left. I never been comfortable with cowgirl position, yet I still did it and the worst thing is my partner was just a tinder date, we broke up before my symptoms started to get worse. So I don't have an understanding partner with this. "You injured your penis for nothing and you will have to live with this your entire life" this thought got stuck with me, I can't convince myself against it.
-I am 25 years old, just graduated from one of the top universities of my country. I am not a bad looking guy, I was always satisfied with my penis, both lenght and peeformance wise. Now I can't accept nothing will be the same for a very long time. I am looking for a job, trying to start my life in a very stresfull city with so little money to live a good life. I broke up with my 3.5 years girlfriend 4 months ago. All these things were enough to make me stressed and depressed and now I have a huge problem that will change everything in my life. I am loosing hope.

- I already have a very sad and pesimistic image for myself. I think I am loosing a huge part of me, my chracter. I am no longer a sexual being? Eroticism dissapeared from my life at such a young age. When I see a beautiful woman I used to have nice feelings, I would even try to approach her before the dissaster. Now, when I see an attractive woman, I pity myself. I am not a man for her, she deserves so much better, why would she give me chance once she learn about my situation. Most importantly, I lost my humor, my charm, my confidence, I am a ghost of my real self now. Also I see her as a dangerous thing, like a wild animal I should avoid. I fear, because even if things go right with her, she could cause huge damage on my penis. A penile fracture is only inches away from me,or a more serious trauma which can lead to a horrible curve.

-I know this is not cancer, I know there are people who suffer much more painful and dangerous disseases, but I feel like this thing is killing me inside. Or it will. It will takme my sexual identity, I'll be someone I don't want to be. Regret, anger, sadness, fear...a horrible mixture of these feelings gets ejected into my veins every morning, and only stops torturing me when I sleep. This is not a life I want to live. I am not yet suicidal, but I know I am not far from it.

If this is not the worst thing to happen to a man's sexuality, then what is? It has been 40 days and I already lost a huge part of myself. I even tried to manipulate my "tinder date" to get back together, so I could say "It was not for nothing, she is with me on this." But she refused me, I understand her, what I did was a terrible thing. Possibly my lowest moment. This is not me, at least I never knew I could be someone like this, yet I did it. Peyronies Disease is turning me into a bad person already. I don't even know what kind of a person I'll be when dissease progress further.

How do one accept such a thing. You don't eget the attention, care and symphaty a cancer patient recieves, but it kills you. No one understands, even some people make fun of your nightmarish life. Where to go? How to continue? How to be someone else?
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25 year old with penile fracture. Fracture happened on May 30. No surgery, only conservative treatment. Uro thinks it was not a big one. No Erectile Dysfunction, no peyronies so far. Doctor says Peyronies Disease is possible. Constant penile pain, turtling, hard flaccid.

TonySa

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Re: Worst Case Scenario ans other worries
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2019, 02:38:04 PM »

Hi, you’ve come to the right place for info and support.  Peyronies (or the thought one might develop it) can be quite traumatic.  It would probably be helpful if you sought out some treatment for your resultant anxiety and depression-either meds and/or counseling.  Be sure to check out the survival guide and keep coming back for questions and support!  Peyronies Survival Guide - Information for New Members - Peyronies Society Forums
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PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.

JohnnyDoe

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Re: Worst Case Scenario and otther worries
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2019, 05:50:29 PM »

I felt the same way when it happened for me. Anything I am going to tell you is not going to solve your problem, but I can share my experience and advice.

- I believe that stress is going to make things worse and not allow your body to heal. It can even cause you to get temporary Erectile Dysfunction, you dont want that. Let your penis alone for now, do not constantly check if your penis or erection is normal.

- Pain is really annoying and a constant reminder that you have this condition, so if you have pain, find out what makes the inflammation go away. For me at a certain point it was for example avoiding hot showers, avoiding erections / masturbation, avoiding manipulating my penis. But this is different for everybody from reading this forum, so make sure to find out what works in your case.

- Be proactive and work towards finding a solution, but at this point think of any action you take as damage control, not completely reversing your condition. I think else you are setting your expectations too high and will constantly be disappointed. Also, I think if you try out everything at the same time you will not know what works and might put a lot of stress on your body / penis. Anything you choose to do, take small steps and see how your body reacts, else you risk new injuries.

- Focus on other things in your life. It can take a while before this stabilizes, do not put all your focus on this. You can look at a certain skill you want to master/improve, working out, eating healthy. You can try some of the diets like anti-inflammatory, low-carb or keto, but transition slowly and do what you feel comfortable with.

- Do not avoid social interactions. I did this and made me feel more miserable. Go to places you are comfortable, meet with friends/family.

Again, I say all of these from my experience. You have to see how you are going to handle it. But I believe a healthy body and mind can get you far.
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Nocekgari

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Re: Worst Case Scenario and otther worries
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2019, 06:31:04 PM »

Hello and thank you JohnnyDoe, you are %100 right. I know everybody experience this differently. Honestly I don't even know if my problem is going to get worse. At this point, my struggle is mostly psychological. As you said, constant pain makes it difficult for me to focus other things. Pain itself is not even that bad, I had more painful acnes for god's sake. But it is like a stubborn reminder of uncertain future of my sexuality. Right now even sexual jokes are enough to make me feel uncomfortable. I feel bad when I see a healthy looking young man. I know it sounds exagerated but I feel like I am no longer a part of the community. 

My doctor gave me vitamin e and colchicum. I guess they are not very effective but even taking them made me feel better, since I can say at least I am trying something to fix or prevent it.

I just noticed that I am always looking for a guide book about life, or a mentor that would tell me what to do, what to expect. It was very surprising to see medicine is not completaly capable to solve Peyronies Disease, thus waiting for an uncertain outcome just broke me mentaly. I was hoping to hear an accurate diagnosis. I noticed there is no guide lines in this. I may sound unnecessarily deep but it's true. Even the potential of Peyronies Disease made me question who I am and why I am so fragile.
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25 year old with penile fracture. Fracture happened on May 30. No surgery, only conservative treatment. Uro thinks it was not a big one. No Erectile Dysfunction, no peyronies so far. Doctor says Peyronies Disease is possible. Constant penile pain, turtling, hard flaccid.

NeoV

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Re: Worst Case Scenario and otther worries
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2019, 09:47:25 AM »

The worst thing that can happen to a man's sexuality is for him to confuse his sexual value for that of a woman's. You are massively confused.
If you rely on your looks, penis, or any other "thing" for your sexual value, you are attempting to be a woman, and women will hate you for trying to do this. You should not fear a woman and put the "ball in her court" regarding her sexual preferences. You are NEVER at risk of breaking your penis with a woman unless you let her simply do as she pleases. It is your job to lead, and women will adapt to you if you do that. It sounds like you have been relying on tokens for confidence. Although your situation is very challenging and I understand that, this is a time for you to learn more about women and yourself.

If you can become sexually functional, you have nothing to worry about. A woman gets turned on by a man's mood and energy and not by his tokens, be it his penis, money, or what have you.

JohnnyDoe could not have advised you better, do everything you can, and start working on your inner beliefs and thoughts. A woman is looking for positive emotions, and that begins with your thoughts. What a woman gets aroused for is not your body, but your emotions.

TonySa

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Re: Worst Case Scenario and otther worries
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2019, 03:33:39 PM »

All great advice and support.  If the pain is a reminder you might want to try ibuprofen or a topical such as diclofenac sodium gel.  An ultrasound should give you a clear diagnosis if you move forward with medical care. Pentox can also decrease pain.
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PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.

Nocekgari

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Re: Worst Case Scenario and otther worries
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2019, 06:10:11 AM »

The worst thing that can happen to a man's sexuality is for him to confuse his sexual value for that of a woman's. You are massively confused.
If you rely on your looks, penis, or any other "thing" for your sexual value, you are attempting to be a woman, and women will hate you for trying to do this. You should not fear a woman and put the "ball in her court" regarding her sexual preferences. You are NEVER at risk of breaking your penis with a woman unless you let her simply do as she pleases. It is your job to lead, and women will adapt to you if you do that. It sounds like you have been relying on tokens for confidence. Although your situation is very challenging and I understand that, this is a time for you to learn more about women and yourself.

If you can become sexually functional, you have nothing to worry about. A woman gets turned on by a man's mood and energy and not by his tokens, be it his penis, money, or what have you.

JohnnyDoe could not have advised you better, do everything you can, and start working on your inner beliefs and thoughts. A woman is looking for positive emotions, and that begins with your thoughts. What a woman gets aroused for is not your body, but your emotions.


Thank you for your advice NeoV. I didn't notice you were the youtuber I've been watching for the last couple of weeks. I believe you are right about your comments on sexual value of a man. It's just, I am lost right now. Even though I know my worries are ridiculus, I can't help it. It may be a temporary thing. I may overcome my fear. Tomorrow I'll see a specialist finally, I've decided to ask my parents for help. This is no time for pride. Also, being able to get morning erection gave me hope. It happened today and there was no pain, but I was too afraid to take a look if it is curved more. At this point, I am scared even to urinate,I don't want to see my penis. Still, I think I am getting better psycholigicaly. Women can wait, I should not put pressure on myself about my relationship with opposite gender. I'll certainly reach the point where I gain my confidence again. Just decided to take it slow, clear my mind and do my best to get the best treatment. Thank you for your help sir, you and other people in this forum helped me  so much already.
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25 year old with penile fracture. Fracture happened on May 30. No surgery, only conservative treatment. Uro thinks it was not a big one. No Erectile Dysfunction, no peyronies so far. Doctor says Peyronies Disease is possible. Constant penile pain, turtling, hard flaccid.
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