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[CrookedDanger]

Hi all. I’m an early 20s guy living in America. I was diagnosed almost a month ago after noticing the angle of my erect penis around February/March of this year. My penis is straight while erect, however it is angled 45 degrees to the right at the base (so it’s not really but hey let me pretend) due to 9-10 years of prone masturbation. I stopped when I noticed the curvature earlier this year but relapsed a few times (due to laziness and habit). I switched to normal masturbation and I swear it started getting better, specifically that it would no longer curve while flaccid. However all of that changed once I had my first urologist appointment. He was very rough in his examination of my plaque and was literally squeezing it on both sides as if he was trying to inflict damage on me. He said if I didn’t have peyronie’s I wouldn’t be in pain (I’ve read similar stories elsewhere online which makes me feel better I guess). He told me to just hope it doesn’t get worse and that the only treatment is traction xiaflex or surgery and didn’t prescribe me anything. Ever since then I’ve experience symptoms of hard flaccid (I imagine due to trauma at the base, a common onset for the syndrome) where my penis is consistently contracting throughout the day. The first week and a half after I had constant ache or soreness in my penis too which I had never experienced before. I also have an insane urgency while peeing and often need to urinate again 45-60 mins after my last pee, but I do drink a good amount of water. Thankfully I had another urologist appointment booked a week and a half after my first one and he was much nicer. I got pentox and cialis prescribed after pushing very hard for both (he wasn’t gonna give me either until I pressed and pressed). I ordered L-arginine, acetyl-l-cartinine and coq10 as well. I have also taken fish oil, vitamin C and D, b12, probiotic and multi vitamins for a few years now and am very consistent. Haven’t missed a single dose for any of the above mention oral treatments since my diagnosis. I’m a fan of pentox and cialis and I’m definitely going to stick with the oral agents. Anything that has a chance to help I’ll do it.

I’m feeling very depressed right now because I may have inflicted more plaque on myself from doing manual traction while erect. I know that this forum has a huge warning against doing this, but stupidly I did it before I found out about this forum. I was for a combined 3-4 minutes max over the course of a couple days, and all I did was push my right angled penis to the left to make it straight. I figured I would need to do this for sex or masturbation and so it was fine. I didn’t realize putting all that pressure on one point of my penis (with a single finger nonetheless) repeatedly and while on a bunch of ibropoufen would cause any damage as I didn’t feel anything at the time. A few days later I see a brown bruise around the circumference of my penis under the glans and started experiencing pain at the location. This happened before my second urologist appointment so I showed him it and he said to let it rest and it should be fine, but he only saw it while it was flaccid and could barely see it. Now I’ve been reading that erections are healthy and it’s good to have blood in the penis to heal it so I’ve been inducing erections on myself a couple times a day by watching porn. My erections have always had zero pain, there was maybe a little tightness but I figured that was cialis stretching my crap out. The bruise is mostly gone while erect, but I can still see the brown ring while flaccid under my glans.

Anyway, now I’m very worried because I’ve noticed slight hourglassing beginning on my flaccid penis. I noticed it first like a week ago but it was only right after waking up when I needed to pee really bad and I hoped it was a one time thing. Since then though it seems to be more frequent and today for example, I’ve seen hourglass for most of the day (all while flaccid). The weird part is it goes away after I finish peeing and in fact, my flaccid penis also becomes straight (it’s typically angled even while flaccid) which does make me wonder if I have pelvic floor issues. One thing to note is I stand weird, where most of my weight is on the outside of my feet and I curl my toes up to kind of support the other side of my foot and tense up my glutes. I’ve done this for like a decade now every time I stand because my knees turn inward and doing this makes my legs look straight (so cosmetic issue, very stupid I know. I went to a pelvic floor therapist this past week but didn’t find it that useful. My PT thought the issue was with my back and didn’t recommend me any pelvic floor relaxation therapies yet as she said she wasn’t sure if I need tightening or loosening of the pelvic floor. I intend to keep going though as I think it’s one of the root causes for me. I also have a twist of my penis, about 90 degrees to the left but this also reduces after urination.

I’m insanely worried that my flaccid deformities will start to become erect deformities. I can deal with my original 45 degree angle at the base but I would be absolutely devastated if I also had hourglassing and a new curve where this bruise is located. I’m pretty active and have been lifting 4 times a week along with 6-7 minutes of cardio at the end for 9 months now. I’m starting cardio more now and I also wonder if deadlifting or squatting with my weird foot stance could be worsening my condition so I’m putting those on hold for now. I’ve severely cut back my nitcotine/vape use from 30-40 hits a day to 2-3. I’m still smoking weed as I figure it can help with inflammation. I’ve cut back on drinking too but with social events it’s hard to stop completely and have drank 2-3 times a week still. I’m going on a work happy hour event tomorrow that I will be drinking for but hopefully lightly. Admittedly my diet is my weakest point, I get a lot of protein but have a huge sweet tooth and even last night I had like 900 calories of cookies and candy. Partly because I work out a bit and I’m trying to eat enough calories so my body can repair itself. I’m a picky eater so this will be tough and I also can’t see how I’d cut out carbs as meat and rice is one of my main meals. I have cut off caffeine completely (I normally take 50mg right when I wake up in pill form. I’ve tried searching to see if caffeine is good or bad for peyronie’s and most seem to think it’s bad so I’ve cut it out. I do remember that one day I took my caffeine pill and then drank some coffee and I felt a pain in my plaque area which scared me so I stopped. Idk if that was good or bad but yeah, it’s tough.

I have been considering traction and VED. The urologist who injured me recommend restoreX or PMP, but both seem to have the capability to cause dents or reduction in size so I’m worried about starting those. I also have 2 roommates and I’m an early 20s guy so I’m very embarrassed about the whole situation and if I did start mechanical traction, I’d need to hide in my room while I had it on. I also need to pee like every hour so I’m not sure how that would work with these traction devices. I did try light manual traction while flaccid, instead of stretching I just kinda redirect my flaccid penis to counter bend and right after doing so it seemed straighter. I’ve done it for 5-10 seconds in a hot shower only a few times. I did it again 2 days ago and then tried to induce an erection about an hour later. It seemed straighter and I was happy so I went to sit down on my couch. 20 minutes later I start to feel pain in this inflamed vein on my penis. I’ve had this inflamed vein (varicocele? Lymph?) for months now and I remember first noticing it after normal masturbation a month before my first urologist appointment. When inflamed it bunches up like a cord and is very visible. Even when not inflamed I can see it through my skin (it’s the same color) I’ve ignored it for now but I felt sharp electric-like pain through this vein for the last 2 days. The vein or my urethra hurt after farting which scared me too. The pain is mostly gone now but briefly I’ve felt it and I’m now scared to be erect for a prolonged period of time. So I’m gonna stop getting myself erect and stop manual traction for now.

So yeah that’s my situation. I’ve done a lot of reading over the past few weeks and have read damn near half of the posts on this forum. Im also on the peyronie’s subreddit along with /r/hard_flaccid, r/pe_injuries and r/pelvicfloor. I’d appreciate any advice or help. My main concerns are combating the new injury and ensuring it doesn’t turn into plaque, flaccid deformities potentially indicating future peyronie’s, and what other treatment or lifestyle changes to make to heal faster. I’m also worried a VED might inflame my varicocele and traction might cause dents. I had sex a few months ago and although she mentioned it was curved I was able to have intercourse with her on top (which I now know to never do again unfortunately). So I think I can still have sex without pain (I haven’t masturbated in a couple months but did have a wet dream recently and felt no pain) and I’m worried doing physical treatment might ruin that. I apologize for the wall of text but yeah I’m a very anxious person and pentox is probably making that worse. I literally spend everyday when I’m not with friends researching this disease and scrolling through old posts all over the web. I’m probably going crazy but I know this is a time sensitive disease so I’m incredibly scared if I don’t do everything I can right now, it’ll get worse. I can handle a weird curve but I’m most worried about hourglassing or losing length and girth. My max size while erect is like 5.15 inches which is already borderline smallish so if I lose any of that then I’m gonna have a small penis for life. I’m literally only in my early 20s so why must this happen to me now and curse me for life. I’m an idiot for doing prone masturbation and damaging my normal penis for years. Fml.

Any advice I’d appreciate and I thank you for reading. I know it’s a lot so sorry. Hope I can get some suggestions or help here. Please and thank you!

[PeyroniKirai]

Hi CrookedDanger,

You said it all.  My sense from reading your post is that you are, as you said yourself, a very anxious young man, and you seem to be getting really obsessed with your penis.  I definitely do not mean to be condescending when I say that your post is chock full of all kinds of different anxieties, and you are mashing them all together to make things even more distressing for yourself.  In other words, you are obsessing too much.  You need to take a rest.

In your post you mention masturbation technique, frequent urination, lots of different supplements and drugs, your diet, your stance, weightlifting, different therapies, watching porn to give yourself erections, being abused by doctors, and then just tons and tons of really detailed (but unconnected) observations of your own anatomy (size, shape, angle, color, and more) plus self-diagnosis of all the things you see.  It almost sounds like too many different issues for one guy.  As you said yourself, you must be spending every waking hour of the day worrying.

All the different things you say about your penis make it difficult for us on this forum to guess if you have Peyronie's and what you should do about it, but instead of guessing what's actually going on with your penis, I would like to suggest with the greatest of respect that you need to get yourself some counseling or therapy quick.  You need to break this self-destructive loop of fear and confusion which you have got yourself into.  A professional should be able to help you tease apart this complicated tapestry of fears you have woven, because that is all they are -- fears.  Fears of deformity, fears of being too small, fears of not being able to have sex, fears of being "cursed for life"...  None of these need be the case.

Please find a professional who can help you sort out all your anxieties.  I guarantee you that some, if not most, or even all of them, can be dealt with.  But for right now you're not seeing the forest for the trees.  Don't say "FML".

[Jimmy123]

Such a kind response from PeyroniKirai. Whilst I have no expertise in this area and no knowledge of your condition, in general I find myself surprised at how readily Peyronies Disease is being diagnosed. Did the second urologist agree with the first? did either identify plaque? Have you read Dr Trost's posts on this forum? I have found them to be very informative, balanced and often, reassuring.

[Pfract]

CrookedDanger:

Welcome aboard. Like you said, there are plenty of warnings about not trying to manipulate your penis while erect and for good reason. Hopefully your injury will heal and you will be able start traction therapy soon. Restorex works by having 2x 30 min sessions so there's no issue with peeing. Have you looked into their website? www.restorex.com.

https://malefertilityandpeyroniesclinic.com/peyronies/treatments/
Please also have a look at this website. It lists the most up to date treatment protocols, and what works and what doesn't.

My suggestion to you is to stay off masturbation for 2 or 3 weeks for now so your injury heals and then start traction/ved. There's only so much you can do to be fair. Consistency is key.

[CrookedDanger]

Thank you for the responses everyone. It does make me feel better and you’re right, I probably do need some therapy or counseling haha. I am a very anxious person and this medication and disease only makes it worse. I ordered a penimaster pro and a rice sock and plan on starting physical treatment. Ordered pine bark extract, magnesium, ginger root and Gingko Biloba and plan to start taking those too along with my PAC cocktail and coq10. Thanks for the reminder about that link Pfact, I have seen that site but I’m still curious why they recommend against taking Cartinine? I’m taking ATC right now so worried that might be bad for my condition

[PeyroniKirai]

Good luck, CrookedDanger.

I hope your natural supplements give you some relief, though I think counseling will have a bigger immediate effect because it should help you clear your mind and feel more calmness. 
Many of us have a conditioned negative response to the idea of counseling/therapy because we think it would be admitting weakness or that we're "sick".  But this is silly, because your mind is an organ too, and just like you would go to an orthopedic surgeon if you broke your wrist, you can go to a counsellor or therapist when your mind/soul are feeling a little broken.  No shame. 

I used to feel dismissive about therapy because I knew people in big coastal cities in the US who had a marriage counsellor, a shrink, and also saw their shrink's shrink, and also did group therapy, and it seemed like every time they sneezed they were analyzing it from a ridiculously obsessive perspective.  But over time I realized that like anything else, it doesn't matter much what others do.  Seeing a therapist many years ago gave me some mental defenses that I can still use today to help myself cope with troublesome feelings and get myself out of difficult situations.

So find the right therapist for you, male or female, group or single, whatever style, and see how it goes.  Just like you felt better after talking to people on this forum who don't even know you, you might feel a lot better after talking with someone whose job it is to help you through your tough times.

Just sayin' !!
PK