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Other Peyronies Disease Discussion Boards => Psychological Component - Seeking and discussing solutions => Topic started by: dioporcolorisolvo on June 18, 2011, 10:55:10 PM

Title: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on June 18, 2011, 10:55:10 PM
How do you face the moments of deep anguish?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Worried Guy on June 18, 2011, 11:29:23 PM
Life still goes on.  Don't think think that.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: fubar on June 19, 2011, 12:09:44 AM
You just face it and knock it out of the park you have no other choice.Take time to relize life is not over and you have choices and Peyronie's is not the end all.You have balls and you are man!

Fubar
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Skjaldborg on June 19, 2011, 12:22:26 AM
This disease affects everyone differently. I certainly remember feeling as if life had been very unfair to me and I felt a dark cloud of hopelessness when I first came down with Peyronie's. I can't say I thought about killing myself, but I was certainly less concerned about my safety. I remember thinking: "If I die in a car wreck or get hit by a bus, oh well. At least I won't have Peyronie's anymore." Part of my profound unhappiness stemmed from getting this at age 29 instead of 59, like a "normal" Peyronie's sufferer.

After a time my little pity party turned to anger and anger begat motivation. I started exercising more and focusing on getting whatever treatments were available. I also went to see a therapist just to talk about my frustrations with this disease. My wife is of course very supportive but I needed to speak with someone who I wasn't in a relationship with so I could vent freely. This was hugely helpful for me.

There's no way to sugar coat it: this disease is tremendously stupid and unfair but it's not worth killing yourself over. If you think about it, only a tiny portion of our body mass is inflicted with the disease ( ;D yeah, I know we men like to brag, but it's still a tiny fraction of our bodies). We have the power to make ourselves stronger and better men and to become better lovers despite any problems below the belt. It means we have to think in new ways and view the disease as a challenge to overcome. For some of us it is the greatest challenge of our lives.

Of course, depression isn't always something that can be overcome with exercise and positive thinking. Sometimes professional help and medication are needed. If you are feeling suicidal, get help. Call someone. There are suicide hotlines around the US where you can get help:
- http://suicidehotlines.com/
-http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Hang in there.

-Skjald
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: rd on June 19, 2011, 11:00:40 AM
I have to admit I think about it regularly. I've always been a healthy person. I work out and try to eat right to the best of my abilities. For me or anyone else to come down with this is completely unfair. I got this at 30 and I am trying everything that has any evidence of working. I sometimes wish I had a terminal illness instead of this because then I would know there was a end coming. I like the previous poster am not as concerned with my safety and wish something would just take me out sometimes. I even wish I had it in myself to commit suicide. To me this disease means that at 31 now I can never date, have a relationship, or a family. I'm also tired of the doctors dismissing me like its absolutely nothing telling me oh it shouldn't hurt its all in my head. I have a high pain tolerance and know my body well if it hurts it hurts. This is why I can't ever date, have a relationship or a family. I don't want to have sex because its not enjoyable anymore and I was always a very sexual person. If it is effecting me this strongly it is also unfair to ask someone to be in a relationship with me and have to deal with all the mental agony this brings with it. I don't have a bad curve or any shortness with this disease, what I have is a dent and constant annoying pain and discomfort. I've only had this approx 9 months but I can tell you I am not going to live the rest of my life this way. No one should have to experience this disease. I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemies.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Skjaldborg on June 19, 2011, 02:38:14 PM
Quote from: rd on June 19, 2011, 11:00:40 AM
I'm also tired of the doctors dismissing me like its absolutely nothing telling me oh it shouldn't hurt its all in my head. I have a high pain tolerance and know my body well if it hurts it hurts.

RD,

Go to a different urologist and get a referral to a male sexual health specialist, like Dr. Lue or Dr. Levine. Are you on pentox? If not, get on it right away. It helped get rid of my pain in a matter of weeks. By all means go to another urologist who will listen and prescribe pentox. Frankly, your current doctors are idiots if they are not listening to you. You have the right to find better treatment.

On the sex and relationship thing, this is not the end of the world. You mentioned that you have a mild case of the disease with only an indentation: that's good news. Most women won't notice and bumps or divots down there because, let's face it, the human penis isn't winning any beauty contests in even the best of circumstances. If you get your pain under control with pentox, you will be back in the sack in no time. Furthermore, the mental baggage that this disease brings is no worse than the baggage from any other problem. I bet the vast majority of women when told about this disease would say, "That's it? That's not a deal breaker!" Trust me on this one.

-Skjald

Sorry about the threadjack
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on June 19, 2011, 03:45:21 PM
I'm 27 years too....i have also bipolar depression since 8 years....
I'm assuming everything but disease goes on.....i have also other physical problems....you arrive at one point where mind surrenders.
Also i wish to have a tumour than peyronie because peyronie hasn't a expiry.
I've ordered VED from America...i wait it and then i start VED therapy.
I'm very tired of doctors and hospitals...
It's very difficult to study finance with this disease...everything becomes without importance. Who knows what will happen..
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: newguy on June 19, 2011, 06:32:18 PM
I think almost without exception, peyronie's disease is something that is or has been a major struggle for those burdened with it. It's important to channel your mental resources into being proactive, while at the same time not being unrealistic. Issues of this nature can become all consuming, but it can also be an opportunity to re-evaluate how you view problems.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: BentYoung on June 19, 2011, 10:50:37 PM
I think all of us go through the really desperate times early in the condition. I must say that Peyronies Disease has really changed my mental outlook on everything around me in a positive way. Being in my mid 20's myself, it would be easy to just give up and become a hopeless victim, but Peyronies Disease has forced me to really evaluate my life and whats important to me. If you stop and take a look at everything that you do have in spite of Peyronies Disease, you almost feel guilty for letting it get you down. Appreciation and gratitude are key to happiness. I am at a point now where feeling sorry for myself is almost comical to me. I think that everyone eventually gets to that point with this condition and a whole new world of happiness presents itself. I have Peyronies Disease and it sucks, but I also have infinitely more gifts to be happy about.   
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: rd on June 20, 2011, 08:40:16 AM
Quote from: Skjaldborg on June 19, 2011, 02:38:14 PM
Quote from: rd on June 19, 2011, 11:00:40 AM
I'm also tired of the doctors dismissing me like its absolutely nothing telling me oh it shouldn't hurt its all in my head. I have a high pain tolerance and know my body well if it hurts it hurts.

RD,

Go to a different urologist and get a referral to a male sexual health specialist, like Dr. Lue or Dr. Levine. Are you on pentox? If not, get on it right away. It helped get rid of my pain in a matter of weeks. By all means go to another urologist who will listen and prescribe pentox. Frankly, your current doctors are idiots if they are not listening to you. You have the right to find better treatment.

On the sex and relationship thing, this is not the end of the world. You mentioned that you have a mild case of the disease with only an indentation: that's good news. Most women won't notice and bumps or divots down there because, let's face it, the human penis isn't winning any beauty contests in even the best of circumstances. If you get your pain under control with pentox, you will be back in the sack in no time. Furthermore, the mental baggage that this disease brings is no worse than the baggage from any other problem. I bet the vast majority of women when told about this disease would say, "That's it? That's not a deal breaker!" Trust me on this one.

-Skjald

Sorry about the threadjack

I've already been to 4 doctors 3 of them uro's one at hopkins and said to be a specialist in peyronies. The other doctor I have been to was my gp and he was the best of all of them. He admits he isn't familiar with the condition, but asks questions and seems to actually listen where as the others don't seem to listen to a word I say. I am on pentox, I do the double dose and started that a month or so ago before that I was on the one pill 3 times a day. I also have been taking coq10 but nothing seems to help. There is constant annoying sensations pain burning stinging tingling that come from the scar area all day every day. I keep getting told the pain will go away but it's been there for 9 almost 10 months already. If the pain doesn't go away it won't be worth having a life to me. I haven't given up just yet but this is my how I think. I don't want to live my life in pain and growing old alone it just amazes me that this simple scaring can't be fixed by doctors.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on June 20, 2011, 06:49:55 PM
Quote from: rd on June 19, 2011, 11:00:40 AM
I have to admit I think about it regularly. I've always been a healthy person. I work out and try to eat right to the best of my abilities. For me or anyone else to come down with this is completely unfair. I got this at 30 and I am trying everything that has any evidence of working. I sometimes wish I had a terminal illness instead of this because then I would know there was a end coming. I like the previous poster am not as concerned with my safety and wish something would just take me out sometimes. I even wish I had it in myself to commit suicide. To me this disease means that at 31 now I can never date, have a relationship, or a family. I'm also tired of the doctors dismissing me like its absolutely nothing telling me oh it shouldn't hurt its all in my head. I have a high pain tolerance and know my body well if it hurts it hurts. This is why I can't ever date, have a relationship or a family. I don't want to have sex because its not enjoyable anymore and I was always a very sexual person. If it is effecting me this strongly it is also unfair to ask someone to be in a relationship with me and have to deal with all the mental agony this brings with it. I don't have a bad curve or any shortness with this disease, what I have is a dent and constant annoying pain and discomfort. I've only had this approx 9 months but I can tell you I am not going to live the rest of my life this way. No one should have to experience this disease. I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemies.

I feel the same way...that was very well-written.   The only difference is I lost more size than you - which can't really come back.  I can hardly look at it anymore.  Do people w/o Peyronies Disease really have no clue about the emotional toll it takes?  I would do anything to be normal again...and if I can't - there's going to be a limit to how long I can put up with it.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: sgtnick on June 20, 2011, 09:03:34 PM
DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   -  I won't have to commit suicide, YOU GUYS are killing me.  I was having a horrible day already, then I come here and read all this SUICIDE stuff - what A trip.  I personally believe in an after-life and "kicking your own bucket" ain't the way to get there.  If you don't believe what I believe, that's O.K.  However, it seems to me that suicide hurts other people more than Peyronies Disease hurts us.

Just get off your ass and do something.  You can always get an implant.  Some of the people on this forum claim that implants are better than the "real McCoy."  Three weeks ago I was in a hospital with IV Dilaudid going into my body.  The pain was insidious, at one point every nerve in my body was screaming for some kind of relief.  Eventually relief came, yet, during post-op recovery and the painful days that followed I never considered suicide.  That does not make me a stronger person than you.  I say all this to say that my Peyronies Disease on the worse days, never hurt as bad as my suffering on 6-1-2011.

I will share one other thing with you.  When I got discharged from the Marine Corps, during the Vietnam war, I had to go to a Naval hospital for a discharge physical.  There were wounded Marines there with all there limbs blown off, blind and deaf.  My perspective of suffering changed drastically then and there and had a lasting effect.  Count your blessings, there is help available FOR YOU!
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Old Man on June 20, 2011, 11:15:37 PM
sgtnick:


AMEN, ONE THOUSAND TIMES FOR YOUR POST!!!

Old Man.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: fubar on June 21, 2011, 12:02:48 AM
Sgtnick

I will back that up! Thanks for the post and standing upright.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: fubar on June 21, 2011, 12:56:28 AM
I would like to say something.Being a heart attack victim and loosing my life on different ocasions and then having the blessing of being returned to life.I most definately will take life over the loss , I have received from Peyronie's.

Yes we treasure life as we know it.But life is much more than what we feel or consider. Much more than we think we give or we can comprehend. A better world of strength that lives in us all.A world of understanding and common belief. It will happen for us all. Keep your eyes open for new discovery.

Fubar
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on June 24, 2011, 03:11:52 AM
People with severe depression, particularly bipolar, have a 30% risk of suicide.  I believe Peyronies Disease triggers underlying / predisposed depressive conditions in susceptible people - not everyone.  There is no easy way to talk someone out of severe depression... either the meds work, or ECT is next - very few psychotherapists can get through because the reality is Peyronies Disease is not going away, ever.  Most people who are single will not feel comfortable with a 4" penis that can't get fully hard for intercourse, not to mention the aesthetic problem.   If you are young and single,  the depression will be worse since there is no social support (other than this group, truly).  Nobody kills themselves over Peyronies Disease.  It's the trigger for depression that probably coincides with other triggers and underlying depressive predisposition, genetically.  It's a powerful trigger...some people can overcome, some cannot. 

Men have committed suicide in Iraq and Afghanistan.  The Army hit a grim milestone last year when the suicide rate exceeded that of the general population for the first time: 20.2 per 100,000 people in the military, compared with the civilian rate of 19.5 per 100,000. The Army's suicide rate was 12.7 per 100,000 in 2005, 15.3 in 2006 and 16.8 in 2007. 
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: sgtnick on June 24, 2011, 06:06:05 AM
Several years ago I was treated for depression; meds, therapy, the whole routine.  The hardest part for me to comprehend at the time, because of the way I FELT, was that depression is a physical problem, not a mental problem.  Impending doom and not being able to put one foot in front of the other resulted in "loss of hope."  I was dead in the water. As a result and because of my helpless state I actually had a supernatural experience, some may call an epiphany.  However, because of the rules of this forum I can only share that experience through PMs or email.  If any one is interested I will share the entire experience off-forum.

For me Peyronies Disease came later and I certainly did not swing back into depression.  Depression can be  successfully treated today.  I personally believe that Peyronies Disease creates situational depressive feelings and that Peyronies Disease does not cause permanent, clinical depression.  Had I experienced Peyronies Disease when I was depressed, it would have only been, merely, a crooked dick which I had no interest in using at that time.

Because I am recovered from depression, Peyronies Disease is not a problem for me, however, it is an "unsolved opportunity"  I am well on the way to recovery from Peyronies Disease which is the subject for another topic elsewhere on this forum.  I suggest that depression be treated by a specialist not a General Practitioner.  I have no argument with anyone about the dynamics of depression and/or Peyronies Disease, my story is here for anyone who may find my experiences helpful.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: fubar on July 02, 2011, 08:09:28 PM
Yes, this disease is certainly tough.You have to be strong you are the one going through this nasty disease.No one else will stand beside you and hold your hand as your tears drop about your struggle.

Any enemy will see you as you are MAN, so you won't make anyone run from your dick I promise.Women will move accordingly to your manner .The man before them is just that .Your dick does not make friends or lovers you do!Take that to heart and do not forget you are in controll of your outcome not your penis.Peace my brothers and take care.I must retire my mind from this.Time to move on good luck!

Fubar
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: torn on July 04, 2011, 01:16:08 AM
I think about it all the time. I've almost completely lost hope. My curve isn't bad as its only slight, what is bad is the shrinkage, loss of sensation, severe ED, and lack of libido. I've been dealing with this for 2 years now and I'm about to give up. The recommended pills by users of this forum are having little effect. Im becoming less and less scared to go through with it. I just don't want to hurt people who care about me.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: fubar on July 04, 2011, 03:05:26 AM
Torn

Life has handed us a pile of dump.There is no arguing about this.How we deal with it and resolve this is more important.In the end this will define you as a man.Scarry Hugh? Fight for my man hood, what else's do you have to live for.Trust me people this stuff recommended by suffers on the forum works
Maybe not as fast or enabling as you want it.Yet if you try and stick with a remedy you may find yourself in a better position.

Fubar

Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Tim468 on July 04, 2011, 07:41:32 AM
Dear Torn,

Some of your symptoms might be BECAUSE of depression, not the cause of depression. Our minds can indeed cause severe ED and loss of libido.

Numbness even can have a strong psychological component.

I have sadness that I am unlikely to hear a girl say "God - I love you c@^k!". I miss that penis a lot. But *I* am OK, and I have love in my life and I do hear my wife say that to me sometimes (we are married after all and the 'sometimes' may have more to do with that than my inherent lovability!).

You may be a young man who ends up with testosterone supplements and a penile implant - or something else that you did not sign up for when you enlisted in the human race. But you have to stick around to find out what the rest of the story will be. Maybe it will include a partner, children, a happy life. Why not?

Tim
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: YMENOW on July 04, 2011, 04:52:28 PM
Torn

Stick it out!!!!!   I'm 67, and  I think at times that I should give up on "life" or "sex".  I am the one thinking about my dick but my wife doesn't think that about what it looks like.  Your partner will look at you and only you.  Your personality and the way you treat her should be the key to a wonderful life. 

I think too much about the changes in my life.  I am at a crossroads at this time but from experience my wife wouldn't change me for the world.  She doesn't care about the dents or the waisting or the shortness as long as I can get it up, but with the help of modern medicine.

I try everything to improve our sex life and at times I am going overboard.  I am thinking too much of myself and that is the bottom line.   I still have trouble with the effin peyronies and I am coping with it and doing the best I can with the VED and whatever comes to mind. 

I am certain that you will overcome all with time....

ymn



Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on July 22, 2011, 04:48:50 PM
Quote from: torn on July 04, 2011, 01:16:08 AM
I think about it all the time. I've almost completely lost hope. My curve isn't bad as its only slight, what is bad is the shrinkage, loss of sensation, severe ED, and lack of libido. I've been dealing with this for 2 years now and I'm about to give up. The recommended pills by users of this forum are having little effect. Im becoming less and less scared to go through with it. I just don't want to hurt people who care about me.

Wow i could have written this myself.. let me know if you want to talk sometime.  

I think it's very different for unmarried people (I am guessing Torn is single) who have not been in a relationship for a very long time.  Dating someone 1-2 yrs when Peyronies Disease begins will likely make the relationship very difficult.  And - it might have nothing to do w/ the female... many are understanding (or say they are - on the surface - it varies).   The loss of self esteem is very powerful...especially if nobody is around to be accepting of you in this state (intimately).
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: fubar on July 24, 2011, 08:39:14 PM
Living with Peyronie's is tough but things do get better.Keep pushing on I'm improving.No ed drugs or pentox for the last month.Had a good erectionlooked great although deformity.

The deformity is less but it is still a stigma, then again nothing is exceptional anymore.You live life once do yo want to be remembered wording about you penis.

Just saying yes it hurts but we are men before any experience.We have the strength to conquer this no matter how mangled we are.

As my friend luka use to say have many strength!
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: crashbandit on July 24, 2011, 11:20:46 PM
Quote from: fubar on July 24, 2011, 08:39:14 PM
Living with Peyronie's is tough but things do get better.Keep pushing on I'm improving.No ed drugs or pentox for the last month.Had a good erectionlooked great although deformity.

The deformity is less but it is still a stigma, then again nothing is exceptional anymore.You live life once do yo want to be remembered wording about you penis.

Just saying yes it hurts but we are men before any experience.We have the strength to conquer this no matter how mangled we are.

As my friend luka use to say have many strength!

Yea! Fubar is our leader!

Instead of what the guy in "Braveheart" said, "You can take our land, but you can never take our freedom!!!!" We should say, "Peyronies, you can take our penis, but you can never take our manhood!!!!!!"

;D ;)

Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: chris26 on July 28, 2011, 01:12:22 PM
Suicide would never cross my mind personally, even with my useless penis theres still plenty i enjoy in life.

Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Squonk on September 05, 2011, 08:57:06 PM
I think about suicide every day of my life.  As a person who has fought depression most of my life, it seems so unfair to be thrown this curveball.  A life without human touch is my sentence for a crime I did not commit.  Now I can only wait for the sweet release that only death can bring.  I will someday muster the courage to expedite that release you can be sure.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: newguy on September 05, 2011, 10:31:08 PM
Squonk- Once upon a time for men with peyronie's disease options such as pentox, cialis, ved, traction, xiaflex, surgery and implants etc didn't even exist. Slowly but surely lots of men are finding ways to improve their condition. If something doesn't work, there is always a different approach to take, all of which are better than dwelling on how unfair the condition is. Some of the 'worse case scenario' options such an implants might not sound appealing, but I'm sure many men with implants are more than happy with them, so it's all a matter of perspective. We live in a society obsessed with penis size and so on, so even many men without peyronie's often find something penis related to torment themselves about. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others or our previous selves, and work on how best to proceed from where we find ourselves now.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on September 05, 2011, 11:23:41 PM
When will Xiaflex be approved?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: fubar on September 05, 2011, 11:35:56 PM
Newguy
Awesome words let us hope they do not fall on deaf ears!

Fubar
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: newguy on September 06, 2011, 10:17:08 AM
Many thanks fubar! They can be tough words for us all to truly take on board, but it's certainly an attitude that has helped me. It's easy to get trapped in a mindset that's as damaging as peyronie's itself.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: fubar on September 07, 2011, 12:59:41 AM
When i was in the army I had a roommate that just stunk all the time.I had to bring up to higher ups this Guy would not bathe.Anyway not long after that he did shower.This Guy has a beautiful wife at the time And had just had a baby boy that looked exactly like him.I personally know this Guy ran around with other women.

One day walking into the showers I noticed him looking at my package. I said what the F are you looking at he turned away and that was the end of it.Weeks later walking into the showers I discovered why he did not want to bathe And why he took notice of me. By accident I saw what he was sporting,  there was nothing there.

So I imagine this Guy was born with what is known as micro penis.He never mentioned his defect and I never
Thought of it again as it was not my ailment.Kind of like the common urologist.That gives you Vit e and sends you away.

This Guy was maybe 23 at the time yes he was troubled buy it. But it did not stop him.Believe me if a Guy can go to basic training survive the showers and make a baby.we can make it too.

Fubar



Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: fubar on September 07, 2011, 01:37:53 AM
Newguy

All this is tough and to take acceptance of what has been dealt to us.But I believe acceptance is the reality of this disease.If you can not accept  what has happened then you can not move on.The efforts of many on this forum past and present. Have given there knowledge,  there experience a good part of there time to help others.So we can move on and make progress in fighting this disease

I surely would be suffering more if it were not  for men like you to keep me rational and not loosing my mind to this.That is probably the single most important service of this forum helping your brothers keep their minds together.Newguy you truly have a gift in raising someones morale.


You are absolutely correct to look into our past and dwell on it will definitely leave us in a worse state than our disease.

Fubar
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Squonk on September 14, 2011, 03:47:33 PM
Quote from: dioporcolorisolvo on September 05, 2011, 11:23:41 PM
When will Xiaflex be approved?

I was in the Xiaflex experiment.  It made my conditon way worse.  Be careful!!!
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: crashbandit on September 15, 2011, 12:07:30 AM
Quote from: Squonk on September 14, 2011, 03:47:33 PM
Quote from: dioporcolorisolvo on September 05, 2011, 11:23:41 PM
When will Xiaflex be approved?

I was in the Xiaflex experiment.  It made my conditon way worse.  Be careful!!!


Sorry to hear that Squonk. That's harsh to go through all that work and only to get worse. Huge upset I'm sure.

there's another huge thread in another section of the board about Xiaflex. If you could post your experiences in that thread about Xiaflex then you might be able to get more help about it and help others:

https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,903.0.html
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on September 15, 2011, 03:58:36 AM
Quote from: Squonk on September 14, 2011, 03:47:33 PM
Quote from: dioporcolorisolvo on September 05, 2011, 11:23:41 PM
When will Xiaflex be approved?

I was in the Xiaflex experiment.  It made my conditon way worse.  Be careful!!!


What did it happen?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on September 18, 2011, 01:52:42 AM

I was in the Xiaflex experiment.  It made my conditon way worse.  Be careful!!!
[/quote]

Can you elaborate on this? Were you in the open-label trial or the placebo-controlled trial?  Are you sure you got the real drug?  What exactly happened?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Noway on December 18, 2011, 02:02:35 AM
Its pretty embarassing when your in your 20's and cant get a decent erection and cant hold a erection. Then when you go to the doctors there all in there 50's plus. When you I think about how crappy  my penis is every day or my life and get bad hurting erections. When you cant have a girlfriend or live a normal life. When you know your penis is way smaller and will never be the same.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: PD_SUCKS on December 22, 2011, 11:50:14 AM
Quote from: Noway on December 18, 2011, 02:02:35 AM
Its pretty embarassing when your in your 20's and cant get a decent erection and cant hold a erection. Then when you go to the doctors there all in there 50's plus. When you I think about how crappy  my penis is every day or my life and get bad hurting erections. When you cant have a girlfriend or live a normal life. When you know your penis is way smaller and will never be the same.

Noway, I'm in the same situation as you. I'm 34 and the quality of my erections have slowly been getting worse since my Peyronies Disease symptoms
became apparent. Plus my affected side (left side) is thinning out slowly as well. Pain is sporadic, but I am trying so many different
oral medications/supplements that it has subsided some.

Since my Peyronies Disease was established, I have avoided dating and most intimate contact with the ladies. It sucks, because I am an affectionate
person and really need that intimacy and closeness of another. I wonder if there are dating services for people with sexual dysfunctions.
I mean, if there was a girl out there with female sexual issues, obviously I would be understanding and sympathetic, and hope that
she would be too.

I wish I had words of hope and encouragement -- unfortunately my physicians don't even have any, well, none aside from the "keep
at it" BS. My main physician often says "It is what it is," and basically tells me there's not much we can do. I understand the condition
is limited with treatment (better than 10-20 yrs ago no doubt), but it is discouraging when a physician talks like that. I know the doctors
are not therapists, and they aren't supposed to be cheerleaders, but they can also be more human.

My advice - VED/pump therapy: use as directed (once a day or every other day). Pentoxifyliine: I can not say that it has helped my condition
get better, but it may have helped slow the Peyronies Disease symptoms down. Traction Device: Be careful, as I was aggressive with mine, and it has changed the
elasticity/texture of my penile muscles. I wouldn't use more than 3-5 hrs a day. And be sure to take a break every 2 hrs or so to massage
and circulate the blood for a few minutes. Other supplements which can help, but not guaranteed are L-Carnitine, L-Arginine, Ubiquinol or
CoQ10, and Repair Enzymes (by Enzymedica - this has helped reduced some of my pain). Vitamin E as well, but it seems like its effectiveness
is still unsure. Since all of these are trial and error and in theory "should" help, it isn't always apparent and it can get costly. Then again,
I'm still in a zone where I'm willing to try anything...

Speaking of trying anything, I recall someone mentioning stem cell therapy. Here's what the article on Wikipedia says about stem cell therapy
for wound treatments:

Wound healing
Stem cells can also be used to stimulate the growth of human tissues. In an adult, wounded tissue is most often replaced by scar tissue, which is characterized in the skin by disorganized collagen structure, loss of hair follicles and irregular vascular structure. In the case of wounded fetal tissue, however, wounded tissue is replaced with normal tissue through the activity of stem cells.[32] A possible method for tissue regeneration in adults is to place adult stem cell "seeds" inside a tissue bed "soil" in a wound bed and allow the stem cells to stimulate differentiation in the tissue bed cells. This method elicits a regenerative response more similar to fetal wound-healing than adult scar tissue formation.[32] Researchers are still investigating different aspects of the "soil" tissue that are conducive to regeneration.[32]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stem_cell_therapy#Wound_healing

So, there may be hope in the near future, but we'd have to travel to Mexico or what not. Semi-realistic?

As far as suicide, yes, I think about it on a daily basis. I have been humble and busy with work and family, so my mind has
been free from thinking of my Peyronies Disease and relationships. However, some old female friends have come back into my life and
intimacy is closely approaching. Do I try with them and fail in the bedroom and explain myself, or talk with them beforehand
and see if we can get things working ok? Or, do I avoid seeing them altogether and just stay lonely and miserable with
a semi-functioning unit that is degrading... with little much help from physicians, medicines, treatments, etc... Oh, and
in all honesty, if other aspects of my life were doing well, I may have more confidence and ability to handle life, but
the Peyronies Disease/ED are just a huge punch to the gut which seems to make all of life unbearable.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: chris26 on December 22, 2011, 07:30:34 PM
I dont know whether im just mentally strong but how can peyronies make you feel suicidal? Only situation I can see that happening is if you were in a relationship with someone you loved and they left you because of your peyronies.

I know especially us young guys have been dealt a rough hand, but theres plenty of non penis related activities that make life enjoyable/worth living.

Ive found it helps to let your closest friends and family know about your condition if you havent already.

Im also reassured by the fact that the implant option is there, Ive had problems for so long now (5yrs+) that a permanent solution however unideal provides me with some optimism.  I for one would much rather explain to a woman that I have a penile implant rather than having a penis that is unfunctional.

Just my 2ps worths

Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: 0x5555 on December 23, 2011, 01:29:24 AM
I actually understand it in some people.  When I was having my pain and couldn't sleep it felt like I was trapped in a prison of my own body.  I am slowly coming back to normal but I can say that suicide seemed like a relief.

I can also sort of understand thoughts of depression if you are not able to get it up.  It's a big part of life and it's very distressing.  I'd hope noone actually goes through with it - there are all sorts of medical advances being made and you never know what 5 years may bring.  I still understand just how tough any serious medical issue can be having lived through it for the last 2 1/2 months.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: sgtnick on December 23, 2011, 02:47:53 PM
Suicide?  Seems like a permanent, fatal solution to a temporary inconvenience.  I tried all the BS treatment remedies  -  pentox, VED, vitamins & supplements, etc, etc, etc.  Nothing worked for me so I got implanted.  In many ways a prosthesis is better than pre-Peyronies Disease.  I am pleased with the results and my wife is extremely excited. End of story! 
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: fubar on December 23, 2011, 09:43:06 PM
Yes you have positive results.Most of us bsingng about this are not 68 years old!we are still sowing our oats!

Fubar
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on December 24, 2011, 10:51:31 AM
Quote from: sgtnick on December 23, 2011, 02:47:53 PM
Suicide?  Seems like a permanent, fatal solution to a temporary inconvenience.  I tried all the BS treatment remedies  -  pentox, VED, vitamins & supplements, etc, etc, etc.  Nothing worked for me so I got implanted.  In many ways a prosthesis is better than pre-Peyronies Disease.  I am pleased with the results and my wife is extremely excited. End of story! 

Have you lost dimensions with the prosthesis?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: sgtnick on December 24, 2011, 08:16:38 PM
diopor  -  I did not lose length and I gained girth, especially in glans  -   really large glans now!
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on December 25, 2011, 10:49:18 AM
Quote from: sgtnick on December 24, 2011, 08:16:38 PM
diopor  -  I did not lose length and I gained girth, especially in glans  -   really large glans now!

Is erection strong with prothesis?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: jackp on December 25, 2011, 11:41:59 AM
Is an erection strong with an implant?

The best way I know to describe it is remember when you were about 18. You thought you could drive a nail with your penis. Well the implant makes you stronger than that. Stronger than your wildest dreams.

Jackp
http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com/
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on December 25, 2011, 12:29:31 PM
Quote from: jackp on December 25, 2011, 11:41:59 AM
Is an erection strong with an implant?

The best way I know to describe it is remember when you were about 18. You thought you could drive a nail with your penis. Well the implant makes you stronger than that. Stronger than your wildest dreams.

Jackp
http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com/

From your words it seems that for you having penis PRE-peyronie and having an implant is the same thing...no negative aspects....is it right?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: sgtnick on December 25, 2011, 02:57:49 PM
diopro  -  The implant is too rigid if you inflate to the max.  To make it more like my real penis, I only inflate to maybe 75%  The only negative aspect to implantation was the arrogant surgeon who performed the surgery.  The only aftercare that I received was from another doctor who treated complications and pain.  If you are considering surgery, do not believe every thing you read on this website(including what I post).  I recommend that you get at least 3 opinions from 3 different  surgeons.  Even if I had not developed Peyronies Disease, I would have an implant performed.  Erection on demand and multiple orgasm is very pleasureable.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on December 25, 2011, 03:03:42 PM
Quote from: sgtnick on December 25, 2011, 02:57:49 PM
diopro  -  The implant is too rigid if you inflate to the max.  To make it more like my real penis, I only inflate to maybe 75%  The only negative aspect to implantation was the arrogant surgeon who performed the surgery.  The only aftercare that I received was from another doctor who treated complications and pain.  If you are considering surgery, do not believe every thing you read on this website(including what I post).  I recommend that you get at least 3 opinions from 3 different  surgeons.  Even if I had not developed Peyronies Disease, I would have an implant performed.  Erection on demand and multiple orgasm is very pleasureable.

Excuse me....maybe i haven't undestund well......do you prefer implant at your PRE-peyronie penis??
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: sgtnick on December 25, 2011, 05:12:53 PM
Yes I prefer a penile prosthesis to pre-Peyronies Disease.  Absolutely!  Erections are very hard, girth is larger and glans is a lot bigger.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on December 26, 2011, 07:53:47 AM
Quote from: sgtnick on December 25, 2011, 05:12:53 PM
Yes I prefer a penile prosthesis to pre-Peyronies Disease.  Absolutely!  Erections are very hard, girth is larger and glans is a lot bigger.

Who has been your surgeon?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Justin on March 17, 2012, 07:07:22 AM
It's been some time since i last posted as i've been trying the path of "positive" thinking and "believing" things will improve, but after nearly 5 years of constant pain and ever-increasing amounts of scar tissue i'm getting to the end of my tether. I agree with a lot of the comments on this forum about putting this affliction into perspective, it seems ludicrous to end your life over a slight bend and discomfort. BUT!!! This i will say. If, like me, you didn't have the happiest of lives before the Peyronies Disease started, trust me when i say that i understand 100% how this could finish somebody off. Even if i didn't kill myself directly, the unending torment that this is putting me through could easily result in developing other illnesses due to the terrible psychological impact this is having on me. My feelings of self-worth and self-confidence are shot away, i'm nearly 40 and single with no intention whatsoever of getting my deformity out in front of a woman. I've spent over 1000 euros on a wide variety of "treatments" and all it does is worsen, relentlessly. It doesn't matter how healthy or unhealhy i live, how positive or negative i think, it just carries on getting worse. In a nutshell, i'm at the limit of what i can take. If this sounds pathetic to some people, then so be it. All i can say to you good folks out there who have this vile disease is that my thoughts are with you, and even if i can't do anything about it then i would at least like to send some "understanding" out to you all. I've never indulged in the emotion of "hate" in my life, but i'll make an exception for Peyronies Disease. It's loathsome, and it's ruining my life. So to all who suffer, my prayers and thoughts go out to you...............
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on March 17, 2012, 04:55:41 PM
Justin
First I would like to say you don't sound pathetic to me and everything (almost)  you are writing is right also for me. I also know from my mother that what killed my father was the Peyronie's and not the heart problems he had.
From the other side, I would like to say few things.
I am 64 with a 2&1/2 year old daughter so I can't afford even thinking in such direction as of to kill myself.
In general in my opinion we don't have the right to kill ourself as also nowone have asked us if we want to be born.
Everyone is affected hard by this disease. You can read my story in "Introduce yourself".
I decided to do everything I can to improve my situation but I will make a penile implant when I will be able to afford it financially. I don't have any insurance coverage so I have to wait. As I read on the forum and in other places it gives, with a good surgeon, something that is better we ever had!!!
You are still young (less than 40). Why you are not thinking in this direction? Read on the "Surgery for Peyronie's Disease" discussion board the testimonies of people that have done implant. Read Jackp blog, it gives you a very detailed information.
James
 
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: PablitoNJ on March 18, 2012, 08:56:02 AM
I would have to agree with James. From what I've read here there are surgical options when all other treatments have failed. I can relate to how you feel as it's only been 7 months for me and it's emotionally, physically and psychologically draining having Peyronies Disease. I think the only thing that we can control is how we react to a situation. It's difficult at times, but I try to remain positive in knowing that some people have found relief in Pentox, VED or traction. There are some who have found relief in surgery. There is some promise in the Xiaflex studies. And knowing there's a place where I can go to share my frustration with other people who know what I'm going through helps too.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on March 19, 2012, 07:36:58 AM
However this disease in young age is the evil.
I was 27 years old when disease appeared.
Now i'am neary 29.
My life is stopped. My relation is finished, i am not able to study, i sleep all days, all day.
Before disease i had the small penis sindrome.
Now mind situation is very bad, depression is at maximum levels.

But i have stopped to complain: the choise is simple: to continue life despite disease or to kill yourself.
There aren't other options.
I haven't yet done my definitive choice....
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on March 19, 2012, 08:21:12 AM
dioporcolorisolvo
It makes me really sad when I read your post. You are very young and I know, you don't deserve to be in this situation.
I know these disease is a horrible one, but your choice should be fighting the disease and not giving up.
You are very active on the forum, I read many of your posts, they are serious and hepfull for the forum and they also make it clear that you are fighting the disease.
Your knowledge in many subjects (not just Peyronie's) is much more than an average 29 year old.
You need just to be more patient. Have many new possible treatments in the horizon and if nothing else helps still have the implant option that most of the people are very pleased with the results.
You must to force yourself to be active and sleep just how much you need. It is not easy but from what I have learned from your posts, you have the capability to do it.
James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: PablitoNJ on March 19, 2012, 10:00:45 AM
Hi dioporcolorisolvo. It really sucks to get this when you are not quite 30. But I think there are enough options out there to try that people have had success with. I think to myself, what is the worse thing that could come of this and then try to deal with that option. To me, if VI, VED, Pentox or supplements do not work, then there remains a surgical option. Not the choice any of us would probably want, but I've read enough to show that it can work. If ultimately it comes down to a penile implant then I can accept that too. I'll still have function - on demand at that!

Have you spoken to a therapist at all? It helped me to be able to talk to someone who wasn't emotionally involved. Embarassing, but it was helpful. I would encourage you to find someone to talk to and read the posts by the women on this forum. It helped me. And like James suggested, find ways to be active. I've found that when I get really down about Peyronies Disease, playing guitar helps me relax. So if you have any hobbies, try that when you are feeling down about Peyronies Disease. Or try taking up a new hobby. Something you've always wanted to try. Keep your mind and body active and remain hopeful. There are enough success stories here to give you hope that something will work for you.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: AphexTwin on November 01, 2012, 07:59:22 PM
I think about it everyday
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: AphexTwin on November 01, 2012, 08:03:42 PM
For some reason i just can't get my mind around the fact that i am more than a piece of flesh between my legs.  I am 25 and already suffer impotence.   Is that something to really look forward to the next 40-60 years.   I'm starting to think not.   
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: LWillisjr on November 01, 2012, 08:13:26 PM
Don't focus on the negatives. There are things you can do.... even for impotence.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: AphexTwin on November 01, 2012, 08:29:18 PM
I tried viagra, cialis, ved.   I already tried to see if i was an option for penile implant.  They said no way.....i am way too young. 
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on November 01, 2012, 08:35:22 PM
AphexTwin

No, you are not too young for an implant if nothing else can't help!!!
I read about a guy that had the implant at 21 and if I am not wrong, one guy at 19.
I will try to find again from where I have the information an let you know.

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: LWillisjr on November 01, 2012, 08:47:41 PM
Quote from: AphexTwin on November 01, 2012, 08:29:18 PM
I tried viagra, cialis, ved.   I already tried to see if i was an option for penile implant.  They said no way.....i am way too young.

"They" are wrong. You need to find a doctor who has more experience in this field. Age should have nothing to do with it. There are countless stories on this forum about doctors who dismissed, or gave advice that was outdated or just not accurate. I can't imagine any doctore telling a 25 yo you are too young.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Hawk on November 01, 2012, 09:38:24 PM
Aphextwin,

What area of the country do you live in?  Being a candidate for an implant has nothing to do with age.  It has to do only with whether other less invasive methods work or whether they don't and whether you are in good enough health for the surgery, NOTHING ELSE.

Why would you think you are too young?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: AphexTwin on November 01, 2012, 11:09:07 PM
this was a few years ago.  The urologist who did my surgery at mayo clinic said no.  I then set up an appointment to see someone at Cleveland Clinic.   They also thought i should wait it out a little longer.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Hawk on November 02, 2012, 09:30:16 AM
Quote from: AphexTwin on November 01, 2012, 11:09:07 PMI then set up an appointment to see someone at Cleveland Clinic.   They also thought i should wait it out a little longer.

OK, now it has been a little longer.  That did not sound like a "NO" or a refusal, but more like he wanted you to work through and exhaust other options.

IF a VED, nor Viagra give you a sufficient erection to have intercourse and you have informed yourself of the issues then you are a candidate for an implant and many top implant surgeons in the country would perform an implant surgery for you if that is what you want.

That means you have real options.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on November 02, 2012, 06:47:09 PM
Again regarding age for implant.
I have mentioned in Reply #63 some young people had an implant.
At 20, now 23, very happy with it ;D
At 22, now 26, very happy with it ;D
at 24, now 27, very happy with it ;D
And many more ;D
It is a real option also in young age!!!

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Noway on January 01, 2013, 12:58:55 PM
I have the same problem with regarding the implant. The doctor said medication, injections surgery and i have severe ed when i brought up implant he didnt say anything and shook his head a bit. My big thing is the age too which i dont want surgery and still have ed otherwise im healthy
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Noway on January 01, 2013, 01:14:49 PM
im 26 had this problem as far as i can remeber i think about it everyday also and it really sucks i cry sometimes when im alone.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MattFoley on January 01, 2013, 03:02:17 PM
Noway,

I read your initial post and was disgusted by the way the "urologists" you have seen have treated you by saying your problem is in your head and that you're not thinking right. And the mere fact that Pentox wasn't the first thing that came out of their mouths also horrifies me. I've been lucky because I've seen 2 urologists so far and both knew their business. The problem is that they don't specialize in Peyronie's so they gave me a referral to a urologist that does. I'm waiting to see him later this month. Now, if I had run into urologists like you ran into, I would have exposed them on the internet and warned other people about their level of "skill". But trust me, it's not in your head.

Now, please consider that you're 26 years old and your body should still be pumping out high levels of growth hormones and testosterone. You have an excellent opportunity to heal from this issue. There are still plenty of options. I know you've been dealing with this for a while and are sick of it but you have to keep pounding away at it.

I don't know what your health and diet are like but have you had your testosterone and other blood work done yet? I would really encourage that you have a full panel blood work done checking the following:

Testosterone Free
Testosterone Total
Thyroid Panels (T3, T4, TSH)
IGF-1
CMP Profile
Lipid Profile
CBC w/Diff profile
PSA
C-Reactive Protein

You need plenty of protein in your diet. You need to exercise. You need to talk to your doctor about possibly increasing the Pentox dose to 2,400 mg/day like Dr. Lue had suggested to another patient and something that I am doing myself.

Are you taking any supplements? Please consider some or all of the ones I'm taking.

Are you using a VED? Mechanical stretcher? Are you doing any kind of jelqing? Are you doing things to encourage warmth to your penis? I've got my hand on my penis all day long and even when I take public transportation I'm playing with myself (hidden by my back pack, of course).

And, yes, if it comes down to it, maybe surgery is the appropriate option. But before you take that step, please consider what I mentioned above. Also, when you do have sex, please consider that having the woman on top may be a less prudent way to engage her when she might cause further damage as she bounces up and down. I prefer missionary or behind her so I can control the motion and there's little chance that some uncontrolled thrust causes damage to my penis.

Please don't give up. You have to keep your spirits up.


Again, here's what I would like to know:

1. Beside the Peyronie's, what is your health like?

2. What does your diet look like?

3. Have you had your testosterone and other blood work done yet? If so, what are the numbers?

4. How much protein in your diet?

5. Do you exercise?

6. Have you talked to your doctor about possibly increasing the Pentox dose to 2,400 mg/day? If not, would you please do it?

7. Are you taking any supplements?

8. Are you using a VED? Mechanical stretcher? Are you doing any kind of jelqing? Are you doing things to encourage warmth to your penis?

9. Have you tried topical and/or injectable verapamil? If so, results?

10. What else are you doing right now as per the recommendation of your doctor?


Please respond to my questions and thoughts and let's see if we can't hit upon something that might help you. Thank you and God bless.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: DJones on January 09, 2013, 01:53:25 PM


I have recently had the peyronies graft surgery (hourglass deformity). I am having serious issues with depression and suicidal thoughts, 

My penis is straight now but lost more than 2 inches in length and some numbing. so far can get an ok erection but cannot orgasm, I also am noticing some narrowing coming back.

I have some hard scar tissue developing on the right side of my penis and am not sure what's going on with that. I return for my six month appointment on Feb 21, 2013. I just don't know what I am going to do if it comes back.

I am also bipolar and have been on medications for that way before peyronies, Which makes this that much more difficult.

If you are thinking of having the surgery, read everything you possibly can, I almost wish I had the implant so I did not lose the length
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Noway on January 09, 2013, 03:56:54 PM
Hey matt

I disagree on jelqing but tried the ved but i think i have the wrong size tube. One doctor sent me too a peyronies disease specialist and he put me on cialis and pentox which helps but i still have problems. He will be trying injections. I have more of an ed issue i will bring up traction too the doctor and see what he sais. I dont think i have low testosterone i need too ask this too the doctor. All i take is cialis and pentox im relatively healthy besides this. I was taking pentox 3 times daily and just taking 1 pill does the same thing ive been on pentox for like 2 years i dont really think more is better.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Noway on January 09, 2013, 04:11:58 PM
djones when did you have the surgery those things take time too heal.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 12, 2013, 06:20:27 PM
I'm not even 100% sure I have Peyronie's, but I've had burning pain in the left side of my penis for 6 months, which has been hurting worse lately, from all the checking for a lump... I'm not even sure I have it and I feel suicidal, as I fall into daydreams about what may come of this... I already have anxiety disorder, OCD, depression, just lost my Mother, who I watched whither away from cancer... If my penis starts curving and I can't have sex, I can't say I won't end it all... Suicide seems like sweet salvation sometimes.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on January 12, 2013, 07:23:38 PM
John B

I was many times in "no solutions" situations in my life because my own faults.
Somehow always, I believe God show me the way out from those situation.
QuoteSuicide seems like sweet salvation sometimes.
Should not be in your mind because you are young and I am sure you will have many wonderful and exciting things in your future.
It just don't worth to lose those things because a "sweet salvation".
Think also about the huge damage you will cause to those that are loving you.

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 17, 2013, 11:18:32 PM
I'm going to wonder every time I see a suicide in young men if they had Peyronie's or not. I've had suicidal thoughts before, but now the idea has become so real that I don't even want help for it. Lately, I'll fall into daydreams about where, when, and how I'll do it.

I'm 33 and always had a strong desire for a woman. I have a strong desire for affection, sex, a friend partner, a child. But I wouldn't even go after that now. I didn't have dreams of being famous, etc., I just wanted a woman I loved, that I could love and have good sex with, and have a child with that friend. I was a Christian and didn't have sex all throughout my 20's or early 30's, as I wanted to please God and get with the right woman he'd have for me, and it was very hard waiting. Nothing was more hard than waiting. I was hoping it would be soon and my simple dreams would be fulfilled. Now, I am in pain everyday and think I'm starting to curve to the left.

I just don't know if I want to go on. I've always struggled with depression hard, even as a child, I would lay around sick from depression and I was abused by my step father, not sexually, but physically and mentally. Then an anxiety disorder, OCD, developed hard at 18, so I couldn't even walk from paralyzing anxiety. And at 30, I lost my faith, 3 years ago, and that was so hard on me. I cried so hard when I lost faith. I wanted to believe in the God of my upbringing that I loved so much, but it seemed a light came on and I couldn't believe that way anymore, it just didn't work anymore. I almost had a mental breakdown over it. Then I found out my Mom, which I was very close to, she was my best friend, had cancer. I moved into my Sister's, being I was single, and so did my Mom, because she was sick. I watched her waste away over a two year period. She was so beautiful and withered away to nothing. I was holding her hand as she gasped for air and died in the hospital. The cancer spread to her lungs.

Now, a few months after my Mom died, in July, I get this pain in the left side of my penis. It's getting worse and worse in pain intensity, and seems to be curving to the left. Honestly, I want to die. I want to rest. When I have a nightmare, I always wake up, and I want to wake up from this nightmare. I'm not even interested in getting help now. Something is going to have to click and change within me very soon, or I think I'll just wake myself from this dream by death. Since my Mom died, I'm so scared of dying now.

Would be nice if I could just instantly become enlightened, like Buddha, or something, and then I could live for the soul purpose of aiding others in their sufferings. But I just cry so hard and yet this human nature isn't shedding off. I want a woman and a friend and sex and affection, not to walk around divine; although, part of me does. It must be difficult to be born again, as one who is free from the wants and desires of this world. I need something to happen within me soon, or I won't make it. And I wonder sometimes, why should I make it? A walk in the Spring shows how nature aborts her own, with a dead baby bird on the ground on every block. A child dies of hunger every 5 seconds, and in severe pain. An animal is whimpering right now, as another has it by the throat. A child and woman are being murdered as I type this. This world has always killed off the weakest, maybe I shouldn't fight nature anymore and surrender to her will. Again, something will have to change soon, or I won't make it.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on January 18, 2013, 12:17:35 AM
John - are you able to make an appt with a urologist to get some clear answers?   You can't be treated until you are at least diagnosed - and there are treatments - especially at the end of this year.  After 200+ years of this disorder being in the books, the FIRST treatment will be out in 2013 (xiaflex).

I sympathize with how you feel - you can read some of my old posts and I have gone through (and go through) many of the same feelings.  Now is the worst possible time in 200 years to give up though...as the FDA is presently evaluating xiaflex for approval (and most likely, it will be approved)
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 18, 2013, 12:23:00 AM
Thanks, Mike. The urologist I went to said he can only think it's the start of Peyronie's, as I've been in pain in the left side of my penis for six month. I saw him for the first time 1 week ago to today. He said the penis looked and felt 100% normal, and concluded the pain was Peyronie's. I'm thinking he may be right because the penis seems like it may be bending left a tad, more so over the last week, strangely enough.

How will will Xiaflex work for curvature?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: DJones on January 18, 2013, 12:49:42 PM
Quote from: Noway on January 09, 2013, 04:11:58 PM
djones when did you have the surgery those things take time too heal.


I had the surgery Oct 12  2012. 
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on January 19, 2013, 05:25:29 PM
Quote from: John B on January 18, 2013, 12:23:00 AM
Thanks, Mike. The urologist I went to said he can only think it's the start of Peyronie's, as I've been in pain in the left side of my penis for six month. I saw him for the first time 1 week ago to today. He said the penis looked and felt 100% normal, and concluded the pain was Peyronie's. I'm thinking he may be right because the penis seems like it may be bending left a tad, more so over the last week, strangely enough.

How will will Xiaflex work for curvature?

It dissolves the scar tissue that is creating the curvature.  I am surprised by your doctor's conclusion...without a plaque or nodule, it's not necessarily peyronie's...pain isn't the main determining factor (not all patients have pain).  Plaque & curve would be the diagnostic criteria...as well as dents.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 19, 2013, 05:42:40 PM
It seems quite a few guys on here said they had no lump or dent, but in time it still curved.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Hawk on January 19, 2013, 09:28:37 PM
JohnB,

If you suffered from bouts of serious depression, anxiety disorder, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder all while still in your teens obviously you have significant mental health issues that require ongoing professional mental health treatment including a good psychiatrist to regulate meds.  Finding you do not have Peyronies Disease or fixing it if you have it is not going to bring happiness by itself.  So, mental health treatment is job one.

Most men want what you want.  The minority end up with a good lasting marriage.  Many have serious health issues that make Peyronies Disease seem like a walk in the park.  Most all of us have watched parents and other immediate family members die.  The fact is that joy and happiness are not made impossible by these events.  One of my favorite quotes is by Annette Funicello who while suffering from MS said, " Life does not have to be perfect to be great".

I could write an essay on the importance of attitude.  If it were not against forum rules to debate religious issues on open forum, I could address most of your religious concerns and conclusions.  I could give you viable medical suggestions about your Peyronies Disease (jumping to the assumption you have it).  The truth is however, until you address the depression and mental health issues, these are just pegs upon which to hang your pre-existing depression.   

If I could get you to do 2 things in addition to seeking good mental health help it would be to:
1. Find someone less fortunate and lift them up by some simple act of service.
2. Read at least the first 2 sections of "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck, MD. (Especially read the first 77 pages.  Read them slowly and ponder them.)

Good luck in finding the help you need to discover meaning in life and your value in life's journey.  I believe you are here for a purpose and it would be a tragedy for you to see that purpose only after taking you own life and missing the opportunity life affords.

Hawk
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on January 19, 2013, 09:38:09 PM
Quote from: John B on January 19, 2013, 05:42:40 PM
It seems quite a few guys on here said they had no lump or dent, but in time it still curved.

that sounds more like congenital curvature.  the penis cannot curve unless there is a reason (scar tissue / plaque - or the person went through puberty and the congenital curve became more pronounced) .

I am not sure who you are referring to but there have been a lot of misinformed and confused posters here spewing bad information since i joined the board 3 years ago.  It can take  a while to figure out who they are if you are newer to the board.  If you've been to a Peyronies Disease specialist, then you can be more confident in your diagnosis.  if you went to a generalist or even a general urologist, then i'd be skeptical.

You said that your doctor "concluded the pain was Peyronie's. I'm thinking he may be right because the penis seems like it may be bending left a tad"

Pain is not the primary symptom. And saying that it  "may be bending to the left a tad" is not Peyronies Disease...what is a tad?  5-10 degrees?  That is within the range of normal.  Did it lose length or girth?

If not, I cannot even imagine why you would be depressed and suicidal over your penis that "may be bending to the left a tad" when there are people on this board who have lost 50% of the total size of their dicks in length and girth...or cant even have erections at all.

Based on your post from 1/17 - combined with this - it sounds like you have depression and are just fixated on your penis.  If you can post a picture like this, then you have peyronie's.  for now you just sound depressed...and you said yourself you have OCD.  So, i'd focus on those two issues. 

Ok i just read your other posts where you said you think it is cuving a FEW degrees and the pain is BURNING... ok you are 0 for 2 for peyronies.  "Maybe a few" degrees is not this disorder.  Burning pain is not peyronies either.  Peyronies Disease pain feels sore - like you ejaculated 6 times in one day or had sex for 3 hours.  There may be nerve pain or shooting pain but not burning pain.  I think your doctor is misinformed...certainly not the only one to be misinformed about Peyronies Disease. 

(http://www.hybridmedicalmn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/peyronies-versus-normal-full.jpg)
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 19, 2013, 10:36:42 PM
Mike, several people on the forum here have said they had no lump, that could be detected, and they began to bend considerably. My penis hurts terribly on the left side, like a constant burn, and sometimes a sharp pain. Weird thing is though, sometimes I can't really find the exact spot of the pain. But I can tell you after I feel around for a lump, I hurt worse afterwards.

No doubt, I'm extremely depressed. I have major depression, OCD, and anxiety. My mother recently dying added to the depth of the depression. I was already flirting with the idea of suicide before I even knew what Peyronie's was, a few months ago. Right now, I don't see any real curvature when erect, but it does seem when I'm flaccid and semi-erect it is being pulled to left, with a bending in the middle, but again, not really so when fully erect. I can say, my penis does look off a bit, even when erect, like the right side, from the middle up, looks slightly bulged out more. I don't think I've lost any length, or girth, if so, very little. But with this pain, I think scar tissue may be in the process of forming. And the left side of my penis does feel more firm than the right side, when flaccid.

OCD is a mental illness which obsesses constantly. It's nicknamed "The Doubting Disease." I'm depressed and my mind continually falls into visions of my penis being terribly bent, and it scares me terribly. I've been crying an hour a day in fear, because I may start bending terribly. I've looked into every penis disorder, as any OCD'er would, and it seems like Peyronie's is the only explanation of this pain. The pain is getting so bad I pop ibuprofen 600 to 800mg, and it still doesn't really touch it. Only thing I can think of is that it's Peyronie's Disease, caused by the beta-blocker.

I would agree with you, and Hawk, that if I didn't have mental health issues, I could deal with this quite better, but I feel like on top of all this that Peyronie's may be the boulder that crushes the camel's back.


Hawk, if you'd ever like to discuss the religious side in site PM, I wouldn't mind; although, I don't have the strength to debate religious issues anymore. I see good in all religions, yet I disagree with them all, in part. To each their own, and I hope it helps them and makes them good people.

And thanks for the recommendation of the book, I'll look into it.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on January 19, 2013, 11:10:27 PM
I know all about OCD - that's why i thought it would be more productive for you to work on those things than on Peyronies Disease, which is doubtful you have...and can't do anything about in this state anyway.  Buspar (buspirone) seems to be the most effective drug in dealing with body-related obsessions. 

If you are seriously having Peyronies Disease related pain, there is a paper out by Munarriz (Boston university) that says triamcinolone  (corticosteroid), injected into the blood stream of the penis (not plaque) will alleviate the pain.

In the very early stages, the plaque might be very thin and undetectable...but you said you had 6 months of pain.  Something more than a tiny curve would be visible by now.  Also, Peyronies Disease does not have anything to do with the flaccid state.  It is a disorder where scar tissue forms in the penis and prevents the penis from expanding properly - thus leading to the bend only in the erect state. People with severe plaques might see something in the flaccid state...but that is incidental. 

I know too many people with OCD to talk about this much more - since I know you have your own narrative in your head and i am talking to a wall.. .but Buspar did help many of them.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 19, 2013, 11:17:25 PM
Yeah, unfortunately, the Doubting Disease of the mind is strong.

The pain started in July and was very faint. Like a weak throb, then it seemed to disappear or become so faint I didn't pay it much attention. In October it came back, but wasn't too bad, just a dull aching pain, but bad enough to see my general doctor, who squeezed my penis and said it was fine, and the pain would go away. But the last few weeks, since feeling around for a lump, and seeing the general urologist, it's been on fire and aching badly.

I'm not sure all would agree with you that I would have had a fair bend in my erection by this state.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on January 20, 2013, 03:35:30 AM
Quote from: John B on January 19, 2013, 11:17:25 PM
I'm not sure all would agree with you that I would have had a fair bend in my erection by this state.

I'm just going by what you said:  "Right now, I don't see any real curvature when erect"

I don't know what the cause of the pain could be.  If it is pain from Peyronies Disease, then give your doctor this:

http://www.andrologyjournal.org/cgi/content/abstract/31/5/445 (http://www.andrologyjournal.org/cgi/content/abstract/31/5/445)
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Hawk on January 20, 2013, 08:09:22 PM
Mike, Very interesting and somewhat innovative study even though it was very small.  Thanks for posting.

I want to move back to psychological aspects.  A few posts back I quoted Annette Funicello.  I also have a personal experience that I marvel at but never connected to our struggle with Peyronies Disease before. 

My father was a very physically fit active man that worked hard.  He was a bit of a brawler but was well liked and was extolled in the news paper once for beating a guy that tried to break in on a neighbor lady and holding him for police.  Anyway when  I was 3 a drunk hit my Dad as he stepped off a curb.  He picked Dad up, stuffed his unconscious body in the back seat of his car pushing the broken bone in his leg 6" out through the skin.  He came to there sitting looking at the bone.  My dad got gangrene and was in a full leg cast for a year.  It had a window in it where they could cut dead flesh off and change the dressing. Being the kind of man he was he learned to get around well in his cast even though he finally had to have one of the bones in his lower leg removed from infection. On day when I was 4 yrs old I was out siting with him as he worked on our car (still with the cast).  I vividly remember him sliding out from in under the car looking strange and pale and saying "Buddy, I have to go lay down, I don't feel very good".  He did not get up for months.  In his weakened physical condition my Father fell victim to polio.  He was stricken with 2 of the 3 types of polio and it was not good. 

Unlike many my father did not get a partially paralyzed leg.  Instead, his chest, triceps, legs, and hands were badly affected.  His breathing was compromised and he fought off pneumonia most winters.  We were told he would not live the night at one point.  Then we were told he would never get out of an iron lung.  Then we were told he wold never walk.  I remember well the day he proved them wrong.  My father lived with a 100 lb emaciated frame for decades.  He was disable to the point be could not walk on anything but flat, even ground or on the floor.  He had no way to throw his arms out to catch himself and would just fall like a tree if he lost his balance.  This once cocky physical man was a shell of his former self.  He had trials I won't bore you with and he did not always use the best coping strategies. but I was grown and he was gone before it stuck me one day that in all his years laying in bed, or fighting off pneumonia in a hospital, or nursing a new broken bone from a fall, I never heard him vent about his condition.

My only point to all this rambling is that along with EVERYTHING ELSE, you can rest assured my dad's sex life was significantly impacted.  He had no hope of a treatment much less recovery.  At 34 he lost everything that had ever given him a reason to be proud including his ability to support our family.  Even though he was not particularly religious, he never held a grudge toward man or God.  I never heard him ask "why me?"  I never heard my dad lament what could have been.  I never heard him curse the man that ran him down.  In fact as fate would have it we ended up living right down the block from that man and he would walk by our house with his head always looking straight down at the ground.  My father made it clear that we were to NEVER say anything that could make that man feel worse than he did and my Dad said it such a way that even a child knew he was deadly serious.

Since I have grown to have some perspective as an adult I often wonder where his forgiveness came from and where he got his sense that life is precious and too short to complain about the difficulties.  Life really does not have to be even close to perfect to be great.  I guess my Dad taught me that all my life without ever really saying it.  When I read Annette Funicello's quote it just confirmed what I know to be true.  Life is precious.  We are all valuable.  Difficulties are guaranteed to happen.  Make the best life you can with what you got.

Sorry for the long somewhat off-topic reflection.  It must be old age.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Old Man on January 20, 2013, 10:27:23 PM
Hawk:

No, it is not your old age, just you telling the truth about life and it consequences. A lesson that all must learn to have a successful life!!

Old Man
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on January 22, 2013, 09:28:42 PM
Quote from: John B on January 17, 2013, 11:18:32 PM
I'm going to wonder every time I see a suicide in young men if they had Peyronie's or not. I've had suicidal thoughts before, but now the idea has become so real that I don't even want help for it. Lately, I'll fall into daydreams about where, when, and how I'll do it.

I understand you very well.
I'm 29 years old and since 2 years i've peyronies.
I've tried all standard treatments but without benefits.
I'm searching for a gun and when i will find it i will die. I've talked about this also with my parents.
They are destroyed but life is cruel and i will not live whit this disease for all the life.
I write here not in order to unload, because i don't search for help, but to give you an advice:
i don't know which is the situation of your penis, but it is possible that you can obtain benefits whit the elimination of sugar and other foods and with integration of 3g daily of Omega 3 attested.
My advice is to desert any treatment and starting to eat Paleodiet and Omega 3 integration.
My penis is in these conditions also because of treatmens that have worsened situation.
Don't me ask why, i don't know, but i assure you that treatments have worsened situations (VED, infiltrations, pentox ecc ecc ).
I hope you will be better.
Hi.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Hawk on January 23, 2013, 02:16:48 PM
I am going to say what I think here. I have compassion for all of you of every age but I see so many people so much worse off that value life.  I will not bore you with another long post but a man I know died this week at 60 yrs old.  He had such bad epilepsy that his parents tried to keep football helmets on him as a teen.  The grand mal seizures slowly destroyed part of his brain and he lost his ability to speak plainly and the fine motor coordination in his hands.  He died of a fall that broke his neck.  Through it all he volunteered and did work in his home for the local hospital and for his church.

I have seen families devastated by suicide and I consider it a desperately selfish act.  It is simply a way to transfer your pain and problems onto others that also have enough issues to handle.  I say we all carry our own load and teach the generation that follows the decent way to both live and die.  The generation that came before me certainly did that for me and I will be damned if I will be the one slip out from in under my burdens and shift the pain to people I claim to care about.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 23, 2013, 04:15:59 PM
I agree it would be best, as we humans call it best, to live a life for others if we can't live to satisfy our natural wants and needs. Getting Peyronie's young in life, or worrying you may have it, seems considerably harder. If an older man has already had plenty of female love and affection, sex and children, then he could be thankful for what they did have before Peyronie's. To get this disease in youth, or in the prime of life, before you've had affection, love, sex, and a child is extremely tormenting. Even if one puts aside greedy lustful wants, there remains a natural purer longing for the touch and love of a woman and child, and to be desirable to a woman. To be denied such things, when our body is constructed to long for those things, is to feel one has been stripped of his humanity. He feels he can no longer be fully human, so others tell him he must shed that humanity and become divine by living to help and aid others; yet most who tell him that are far from what they are requiring of the tormented man.

Again, I agree it would be best to live for others, and to be able to master those strong natural desires, but most men have never developed such mastery through a spiritual or mental practice. I wish I had developed a mental foundation over the years, so when the storms come I don't feel suicidal, but I haven't. And trying to find mental composure in the midst of the crisis, when you haven't built a strong mental mastery, is like trying to build a shelter in the midst of a hurricane, or building weapons in the battlefield. I'm reminded of the parable of the wise and foolish man, one build on sand, the other on firm rock, when the floods came the foolish man was in ruins.

If a man ends up disabled in his youth he may see suicide as a way to awaken from his nightmare and as one of nature's greatest gifts to escape his misery, but he will leave a wake of suffering, as has been said. If he has love for others and his family he'll settle on living and aiding others, which at present seems like thirty years of tormenting unfulfilled desires that will haunt his mind until he dies, so he'll only overcome this torment by developing a spiritual and mental practice whereby he masters his thoughts and feelings. It can be done, but one finds it hard to gain that amount of strength when he's mentally tormented.

It must be a great thing to have a crooked penis and a straight mind. Awhile back, without even thinking of Peyronie's, I bought a book about Zen master Shunryu Suzuki, and the name of the book was "Crooked Cucumber." And, no doubt, if one seriously took up the practice of Zazen they'd be able to overcome any crisis of life. Suzuki was called "Crooked Cucumber" by his teacher, because they were counted useless, and he didn't think Suzuki would amount to much, but Suzuki is now counted among the greatest of Japanese history, showing many a better way of life that reduces mental suffering greatly. Anyways, I hope no one here kills their self, but finds a way of living even greater than before. Whatever their belief system, if one practices with devotion, I think they can get through this.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: coh on January 23, 2013, 05:13:19 PM
i think , suicide is not a go solution especially  your mind and your thoughts are clear.  i believe in god  and that  jesus christ is die for us. he gave he's life for us , so we can live forever and not go lost. for this reason I kept myself from doing suicide

but it's not easy to handle this illness. my dreams of a family with wife an children are far far away, maybe not coming true. I'm afraid to come in isolation.

but i will fight against this.

one thing is sure: everyone will die one day , the rich , the poor, the young, the old, the sad etc. and then we should be prepared to have peace with god. I'm trying to see this illness for me to get prepared, but I'm also praying and hoping for healing and a miracle.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: funnyfarm on January 23, 2013, 05:36:21 PM
I am in the same boat as others, young, single and frustrated.

None of us knows what the future will bring, the only thing we know for sure is that our circumstances will change at some point.  I can not tell you when, why or how.  That is the mystery of life.   When you are the the very bottom sometimes there is a death of sorts,  a death of regretting the past, and a death of hoping for a symptom free body.   Perhaps we can find peace with some level of surrender to our terrible circumstances.   

Please be strong and try to take life one day at a time.   It is possible you may look back at this experience and be glad you persevered and had the faith to make it through this.   
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on January 23, 2013, 05:50:09 PM
Quote from: Hawk on January 23, 2013, 02:16:48 PM
I am going to say what I think here. I have compassion for all of you of every age but I see so many people so much worse off that value life.  I will not bore you with another long post but a man I know died this week at 60 yrs old.  He had such bad epilepsy that his parents tried to keep football helmets on him as a teen.  The grand mal seizures slowly destroyed part of his brain and he lost his ability to speak plainly and the fine motor coordination in his hands.  He died of a fall that broke his neck.  Through it all he volunteered and did work in his home for the local hospital and for his church.

I have seen families devastated by suicide and I consider it a desperately selfish act.  It is simply a way to transfer your pain and problems onto others that also have enough issues to handle.  I say we all carry our own load and teach the generation that follows the decent way to both live and die.  The generation that came before me certainly did that for me and I will be damned if I will be the one slip out from in under my burdens and shift the pain to people I claim to care about.

Hawk i understand your speech but we aren't all identical.
I don't want complain about this but I've also other diseases in addition to peyronie that have reduced to desperation.
I've a bipolar disorder since i was 18 years old, i've the chronic pelvic pain and i've the right knee in very bad condition since 3 years.
I miss deeply my ex girlfriend and i don't see a future for a lot of reason, if these reasons are more real or more abstract it doesn't matter, my mind is exhausted.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: funnyfarm on January 23, 2013, 06:06:25 PM
DP I totally think your frustration is justified, I hear you.

I will add one more thing you may or may not be able to relate to:

A spiritual teach told me there is not suffering when you are in the present.   If you can give all of your past story (causing the exhaustion), and all of your future expectation, living in the now, the pain will subside.  I know it sounds crazy but it works.  The challenge is stay present (surrender) but it is a skill that can be developed with practice.   

I wish I could add more to help you.

Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Hawk on January 23, 2013, 06:57:16 PM
I want to say that I have held suicide victims in my arms as they die including one 18 year old.  It is such a waste because life is such a miracle that even disabilities only affect a fraction of the potential.  I think I posted a link to the guy playing guitar with his feet.  With a half a brain and a piece of body anything is possible.  Not to mention a little selfless love living for others.  How many great people started with serious problems that they overcame.

Next is the fact that Peyronies Disease does not stop you from becoming a father or a husband.  I can dig up stories right here on the forum to prove that.  Men find girl friends, make them wives, have children.  The only thing different between those men and others is their minds, not their dicks.  We have men suicidal over 30 degree bends and guys with 90 degree bends that would think it was a miracle if they could just get to 45 degrees.  It is the mind that is different and only you can fix that attitude.

Old men have one advantage over young men.  They have lived through enough adversity that they realize every tragedy is NOT the end of the world or the end of happiness.  I have had immediate family members that were paralyzed, that are bipolar, that have cancer, but they make great lives.

If you learn nothing else ever about Peyronies Disease learn this from an old man.  Get out of yourself and your problems for a while.  Lose yourself in the service of others and you will find a life.  In addition you may find the reduction in stress actually helps your own disease to improve.  Do not be prisoners of your own negative attitudes because it is your attitude, you have the power over it.  You have the power to change it.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 23, 2013, 07:27:03 PM
Someone should write something for men with Peyronie's, called, "Bent Penis, Straight Mind: Ways of Mentally Dealing with Peyronie's." And in it have real strategies that help.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on January 23, 2013, 10:53:40 PM
Quote from: John B on January 23, 2013, 04:15:59 PM
I agree it would be best, as we humans call it best, to live a life for others if we can't live to satisfy our natural wants and needs. Getting Peyronie's young in life, or worrying you may have it, seems considerably harder. If an older man has already had plenty of female love and affection, sex and children, then he could be thankful for what they did have before Peyronie's. To get this disease in youth, or in the prime of life, before you've had affection, love, sex, and a child is extremely tormenting. Even if one puts aside greedy lustful wants, there remains a natural purer longing for the touch and love of a woman and child, and to be desirable to a woman. To be denied such things, when our body is constructed to long for those things, is to feel one has been stripped of his humanity. He feels he can no longer be fully human, so others tell him he must shed that humanity and become divine by living to help and aid others; yet most who tell him that are far from what they are requiring of the tormented man.

Oh wow QUITE the diatribe for someone who previously stated  "Right now, I don't see any real curvature when erect"...and you're 6 months in.   You are aware that there are men on this board who cannot have erections at all, right?  Or men with 70 degree bends, men who have lost 40% of their penis size?  And you go on this long complaining diatribe when all you have is some PAIN?  Are you f'^+'ing kidding me??

I sent you the link to have pain treatment - which you couldn't even be bothered to thank me for in your long ass 4 paragraph post....so F^@% you.  It's so obvious that you do not have Peyronies Disease, but what you DO HAVE is this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchausen_by_Internet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchausen_by_Internet)

And nobody with Munchausens is getting any sympathy from me.  Do you have any idea how offensive you are to people who actually HAVE Peyronies Disease and have to deal with this IN REALITY?  WE don't even write long complaining posts like this - and WE HAVE THE ACTUAL DEFORMITIES.

Hawk, why are you tolerating this?  It's incredibly offensive...beyond offensive to hear this person rant and rave about the depression he has from a disorder that HE ADMITS HE DOES NOT EVEN HAVE!  I would appreciate it if you could please read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchausen_by_Internet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchausen_by_Internet) and then get ban him.   He has no place here.  I am literally irate from reading his posts.

I joined this board almost 3 full years ago and have NEVER been so offended & angered by a member.  I know I am not the only one - my PMs made that clear.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 23, 2013, 11:08:13 PM
Mike, I won't fight with you, and I apologize if I've offended anyone. I've said I don't know for sure if it's Peyronie's, but the Urologist I saw said he can only think it's the start of Peyronie's and sent me away with that, even treating it with vitamins. I've been in some pretty bad pain lately, and can't think of what else it may be, except prostate, but it may very well be Peyronie's.

Many men, according to what I've read on Peyronie's, can have pain for over a year and not bend, nevertheless, it's Peyronie's and the thought of it progressing into deformation is scary. One research I read said the deformity often comes when the pain begins to cease. The pain hasn't stopped for me. And it does seem that I may have narrowed some, at the base, when erect, but very slightly.

I read this information here: http://www.peyronies-disease-help.com/peyroniesprogression.html (http://www.peyronies-disease-help.com/peyroniesprogression.html)

And I said I have depression and OCD, which is an anxiety disorder. I don't have Munchausens. I just read what that is and it seems strange.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on January 23, 2013, 11:23:45 PM
Actually, you are demonstrating Munchausens almost exactly - to the point that I thought you could be a troll entirely.  You are going on a long speech about how your life is ruined because of the horrors of Peyronies Disease - meanwhile, you have NO PHYSICAL CHANGES TO YOUR ANATOMY in SIX MONTHS.  The site you quoted says that pain is always SECONDARY to physical changes.  And, it is not always there.   You have pain (allegedly) and this could be anything.  Your urologist is not a Peyronies Disease specialist, and he is wrong.  Pain is NOT SUFFICIENT for a diagnosis of Peyronies Disease - end of story.  It's like me saying I have a rash so I must have Lupus...and then I start posting on lupus boards & complaining how my life is over because I have lupus - all because I have a rash.   Guess what? It doesn't work that way.  Why don't you read a little more about how diseases are diagnosed... You were not given a proper differential diagnosis.... And it CERTAINLY doesn't warrant your suicidal posts about how your life is over.  Nobody in 3 years has posted anything like that because they had pain. 

If you have such severe penile pain from "Peyronies Disease" then why not thank me for giving you a link to one of the the ONLY peer reviewed articles about pain treatment in Peyronies Disease?  I'll tell you why - because you don't even care about this "pain" - you are just a self-obsessed victim playing narcissist with Munchausen's syndrome.  You don't want a cure or treatment because you would rather keep complaining and obsessing about how bad your life is & how much you want to kill yourself.  That's what people with Munchausens do. 

And here's how all diseases in medicine are be diagnosed:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensitivity_and_specificity
You have gotten a false positive because you and/or your doctor are using diagnostic criteria that are inappropriate. 

I'm done w/ this. I never thought I'd see the day where people would fake having Peyronies Disease...or that their "anxiety" from internet websites that they clearly misread led them to want to kill themselves... wow.  Read the Mayo Clinic site or a more reputable site.  And please learn what sensitivity and specificity are.  I'm surprised you don't think you have penile cancer.  Maybe you have nerve damage in your penis? Maybe you have Multiple sclerosis?  I'm sure you'll be able to find some "articles" to support whatever conclusion you want to make insofar as it meets your goal of being able to post your "woe is me" dissertations.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 23, 2013, 11:35:06 PM
Mike, I truly hope you're right about the doctor being wrong.

In my original post here, I was just expressing my state of mind in light of possible major deformation. On that site I linked, it said most deformation occurs at the end of the acute pain phase, I wouldn't even be in that stage final stage yet.

My point was, I've always been depressed and had OCD, also, I lost my mother, and the thought of deformation on top of that would be the straw that broke the camel's back, as it could possibly end my hopes of future wife and child, etc. And telling someone that they have Munchausen's is rude. You're merely harassing people in your bitterness. According to, Dr. Ian Osborn, people with OCD are the least likely people in the world to go psychotic (pages 35-36, The Hidden Epidemic of OCD, Dr. Ian Osborn), and I highly doubt someone with OCD would, in clear conscience, practice Munchausen's behavior, but I could be wrong.

One thing I've been learning from this site, is that bad attitudes and mind sets are perhaps worse than any disease of the body. Anyways, I hope you can show compassion on those who are fearful, as opposed to diagnosing them in ignorance. And, again, I hope you're right about the doctor being wrong.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on January 24, 2013, 12:25:43 AM
Yes John I am extremely bitter.  I got this at a very early age, single, and it has been quite a severe case as well.  I also had very bad pain in year one alongside the increasing deformity.   If I just had pain - I would be throwing a party.

When someone tries to garner sympathy about a disorder that they do not have in internet discussion forums, that is called munchausens.  It is not rude.  It is a definition.  Maybe you don't have it -  I get that your thoughts that you MIGHT have this down the road are what make you think you are justified in posting all of your concerns here, but you are going too far into these suicidal diatribes when you don't even have any deformity.  What MIGHT happen is not what IS happening.  After 6 months, it is unlikely that you will ever have a deformity.

Pain is a secondary symptom.   You are not in a "primary pain-only phase" - this does not really exist.  That commercial website (to sell supplements) is not a good source whatsoever...and your quote "deformation occurs at the end of the acute pain phase" does not exist on that page anywhere & is not really inaccurate.   It says "In LATER scar development there is often, but not always, a progression or worsening of pain and enlargement of the plaque. Pain can be variable."  The first phase of the disorder is deformity WITH POTENTIAL pain.  It is the first year - this is why nobody will operate in the first year.  Then, after 1 year is over, the plaque tends to stop spreading...and in some lucky people - it goes away.  The diagnostic criteria SPECIFIC to Peyronies Disease are penile narrowing, bend, and plaque.  Pain is not SPECIFIC to Peyronie's disease other than in the first few weeks at MOST.  If you have not noticed a change in 6 months, you do not have Peyronies Disease.  Maybe you should see a neurologist if it is nerve pain.  It can be caused by dozens of other things.  A fever doesn't mean I have cancer. 

Here's a more reliable website that 2 top Peyronies Disease docs have contributed to. Yes, it mentions pain - but alongside deformity.  And yes, people notice pain first because most men dont give themselves genital exams for penile plauqes that often.  So, pain will happen first...but usually is due to plaque forming 

Can Peyronie's disease get worse? | Association of Peyronie's Disease Advocates (http://www.peyroniesassociation.org/what-is-peyronies/can-peyronies-get-worse/)
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: dioporcolorisolvo on January 24, 2013, 12:33:45 AM
Quote from: John B on January 23, 2013, 11:35:06 PM
Mike, I truly hope you're right about the doctor being wrong.

In my original post here, I was just expressing my state of mind in light of possible major deformation. On that site I linked, it said most deformation occurs at the end of the acute pain phase, I wouldn't even be in that stage final stage yet.

My point was, I've always been depressed and had OCD, also, I lost my mother, and the thought of deformation on top of that would be the straw that broke the camel's back, as it could possibly end my hopes of future wife and child, etc. And telling someone that they have Munchausen's is rude. You're merely harassing people in your bitterness. According to, Dr. Ian Osborn, people with OCD are the least likely people in the world to go psychotic (pages 35-36, The Hidden Epidemic of OCD, Dr. Ian Osborn), and I highly doubt someone with OCD would, in clear conscience, practice Munchausen's behavior, but I could be wrong.

The factors that can lead to depression in this disease are: reduction of size, deformation, strong curvature,ED.
You have only pain.
After 6 months you have ONLY pain: keep cool and DON'T DO INFILTRATIONS.
Your situation it doesn't seem problematic.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 24, 2013, 12:50:07 AM
Mike, thank you for the link.

It says:

QuoteAcute (Active) Phase

The first phase can last up to about 18 months and is when most of the changes in the penis occur. Plaques begin to form, causing changes in the shape of the erect penis. As plaques develop, curvature often worsens.

Erections become painful for many men. Early in the acute phase, pain may occur without an erection, caused by inflammation in the area of the developing plaque. Once the scar is formed, pain may be caused by tension on the plaque during erection.

It never says when the deformation will occur. I started getting this pain weakly, in July, and it's getting worse and worse, to the point of feeling like I'll vomit. I can't even adjust my penis without the left side frying in pain. This pain could indicate the formation of scar tissue, which could lead to bending, etc... And like I said, when erect, it looks like I may have a narrowing on the shaft on the right side.

Anyways, I wasn't trying to cause trouble... nor am I looking for sympathy, I was just talking about it because I'm scared.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on January 24, 2013, 07:12:51 PM
John

We all need sometimes some sympathy and to reduce our concerns :)
Nothing bad on that. :)

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Hawk on January 24, 2013, 09:33:39 PM
Quote from: John B on January 24, 2013, 12:50:07 AM

This pain could indicate the formation of scar tissue, which could lead to bending, etc... And like I said, when erect, it looks like I may have a narrowing on the shaft on the right side.

Anyways, I wasn't trying to cause trouble... nor am I looking for sympathy, I was just talking about it because I'm scared.

John, this raises the question: So what is your plan?  To talk about it on a forum and fantasize about disaster?  To say over and over with no medical tests or training: "This one symptom could be Peyronies Disease therefore it must be Peyronies Disease".  There really are only so many ways to say my penis hurts.  Saying it over and over and not pursuing tests and definitive answers does nothing.  You use your energy to debate that you must have Peyronies Disease and to lament the consequences this might have in your life.  As much as you dwell on this you can't even confirm any deformity and we know that isn't because you have not looked closely enough.  The forum is doing you a disservice.  We are here to educate on Peyronies Disease.  Do you have Peyronies Disease?  We are here to support men with Peyronies Disease.  We do not diagnose.  If you put half this energy into getting tests you would have some diagnosis by now.

That is step one.  Lets not waste time on hypotheticals, theories, or fears.  If you really care as much as you say, you will get a diagnosis.  If you don't get serious with step one, we will know you were not serious about this and accordingly, more and more people will not take you seriously.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: John B on January 24, 2013, 09:56:28 PM
Like I said, I've been scared. The thought of becoming deformed will torment the minds of the weaker, I guess. I'll not bother this forum anymore with my fears and obsessive questioning. Even if it does end up being Peyronie's, I know enough about it by what I've read on this forum.

This will be my last post. Take it easy, Everyone. Thanks for the info you all do provide, it has helped me.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Hawk on January 24, 2013, 10:03:23 PM
Best of luck luck with a diagnosis.  We wish you the best.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: MikeSmith0 on January 25, 2013, 05:34:31 AM
QuoteAnd like I said, when erect, it looks like I may have a narrowing on the shaft on the right side.

Ok honestly in all your posts I did not see anything about narrowing.  If this is happening, then you might have Peyronies Disease.  Narrowing can happen along with pain in the early stages...though I had narrowing and no pain...but the narrowing was very obvious - it was a dent, like someone ate a cookie & took a bite out of it - it looked ridiculous & anyone could see it clearly.  (Then, lucky me, I got narrowing on the ENTIRE shaft over the next so I no longer looked weird - but I have a pencil dick that also curves).  Also, in my case, you could feel a definite "ridge" of some odd tissue (felt just like a rubber band) below the skin in the first 6 months which later became a hard scar plaque.  THAT was what set the red flags off that this was Peyronies Disease.  The narrowing & the ridge...which (within 3-4 months) turned into a 30 degree curve and continued to narrow and curve after that for about a year.  All of this happened without pain.  If you are not seeing (or feeling) anything very obvious at 6 months, it is unlikely that much is happening.  You might have neuropathy or something like that.  Btw, the pain was never "burning pain" - it was soreness...like if you ejaculate 5 times in 1 day.  You need a differential diagnosis with someone who knows what they are doing.  Like Hawk said - there's no way we can diagnose anyone. 
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: user of no names on January 27, 2013, 10:27:53 PM
Well I have been a lurker more than a contributor for a long time.  I frequent this site quite often as its the best place to find up to date information.  I to struggle with suicidal thoughts as peyronies is one of the issues I deal with.  The thoughts have been more recurrent recently but this is probably from added stress from school and work.  I have had peyronies since I was 14-15 years old during a masturbation accident and again reinjured it at 21.  I also suffer from ocd and depression so you can imagine what peyronies adds to this.  Checking my penis constantly to make sure nothing has changed.  I refuse to buy a gun as I am afraid I will use it on myself.  Everday is a struggle but I am to stubborn to kill myself I guess.  I am not sure what the future holds for me but I can only hope that each day I will improve in some way whether its peyronies or not.  I have been to 5 urologists and the last one being at the mayo clinic.  I guess the Dr moved to chicago so I am going to see Dr Levine in the next few months hoping to get another expert opinion.  Everything we try to do to  manage this awful disease is either unproven science or hoping for some miracle cure.  I am only 32 and haven't had a girlfriend in 10 years.  Maybe stem cells will be the cure some day but by the time this happens i will be retired and enjoying sex on the beach but only in liquid form.  If i ever have kids my first lesson about sex will be that the penis can only bend when flaccid.  The only escape i have is when i sleep but sometimes even the dreams are about it.  Its hard to have confidence in yourself when you know peyronies is always on the back of your mind.  I am not sure where this post is going as I am rambling but needed to get crap out of me head.  I sit trying to do linear algebra but I know my dick isn't linear.  I guess I am better at calculus cause it deals with curved objects like my penis.  How ironic is it that i have peyronies and my last has cock in it.<--Insert joke here as I hear them all day.  The other day at work I was spelling out my last name to a customer on the phone and used banana for the letter b then said cock.  The girl next to me thought it was funny but she has no clue what i look at everday.  I told her it was circumcised as in peeled to feel better about it.  Humor helps keep you grounded I guess.

peyroniesmn
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: RoyHobbs on January 29, 2013, 12:30:54 AM
I think if you take anything from this thread it's that the effects of peyronies affects everyone differently -- both physically and psychologically. At first, I only felt pain with my erections. 4 1/2 mos in I could finally feel a small plaque and pain below the glans (formation of another). But it wasn't until 6 1/2 mos in that I finally saw obvious physical deformities. And then things rapidly declined. I'm 35. I have a near 85 degree bend. I've lost size and girth. Last night I hung out with a beautiful 28 year old girl that I've been seeing and felt terrified about the possibility of sex.

But I won't give up.

Ask me tomorrow and I might feel differently. But knowing that the next day it may change again... I won't give up.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: 0x5555 on February 14, 2013, 04:05:14 PM
It's funny, I had much the same progression - injury near the glans, not much pain at first, noticed the bumps, then 6 months later tons of pain and deformity. 

Likewise I'm terrified of sex - so painful!!
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Noway on April 02, 2013, 01:54:42 AM
Its always helpful to keep yourself occupied with things like work, friend etc while you treat your peyronies disease. It can put you in a really dark place and none of us deserve this.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: petropablo on April 28, 2013, 10:27:34 PM
I got this disease (plaque) when i was about 15/16 years old. I had ED by age 18. I am 32 years old now. I do still have pain in my penis most of the day. I don't think this is gonna end well, I am getting to a point where I dont think that I can deal with it any longer.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: funnyfarm on April 28, 2013, 11:31:17 PM
I am sorry to hear about this, you have been dealt a difficult situation.  Have you been seen by a specialist ?  We are here to support you Pablo
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on April 29, 2013, 08:20:44 PM
petropablo

Give us some more details, it will help us to give you some advice.

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: skunkworks on April 30, 2013, 11:21:56 AM
Quote from: petropablo on April 28, 2013, 10:27:34 PM
I got this disease (plaque) when i was about 15/16 years old. I had ED by age 18. I am 32 years old now. I do still have pain in my penis most of the day. I don't think this is gonna end well, I am getting to a point where I dont think that I can deal with it any longer.

Which treatments have you tried so far? Can you get functional erections with the help of medication?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: rellisacct on April 30, 2013, 01:11:40 PM
Pablo,

Have you been to the "Developmental Drugs & Treatments" forum yet? There has been some great progress with PRP & Stem Cell injections. I was also at your point about a month ago when I thought that I would never be able to have a firm erection ever again and was seriously considering going ahead and ending the pain for good. On top of that, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me about 5 months ago and I was literally ready to pull the trigger and be done with this mental torture. I honestly don't know how she stayed with me that long based on the hell I was going through and also dragging her through.

Three weeks ago I visited an amazing urologist who did some PRP injections into the worst part of my penis and the effect has been nothing short of miraculous. I went from having flaccid erections to having harder, firmer erections in about 24 hours. It was the most unbelievable thing. For the first time in 4 months I had good quality sex with a new girl and things were great. By no means perfect, but still satisfying for both of us.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that there is more hope now than there ever has been, so don't give up. I will make a lengthy post on this soon, but I know personally that there are currently efforts underway to begin experimenting with penile tissue replacement in humans. I don't believe that it has been done yet, and it is still extremely preliminary, but by the end of next year there will have been a corporal tissue replacement performed in a human.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: funnyfarm on April 30, 2013, 03:00:02 PM
Excellent post Rellis, we need more stories like this !
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Nescio on May 12, 2013, 10:35:42 AM
Quote from: rellisacct on April 30, 2013, 01:11:40 PM
[...] I know personally that there are currently efforts underway to begin experimenting with penile tissue replacement in humans. I don't believe that it has been done yet, and it is still extremely preliminary, but by the end of next year there will have been a corporal tissue replacement performed in a human.

rellisacct that sounds promising. Could you tell us where you've heard/read this? Will this be the work of Dr Atala's team?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: rellisacct on May 12, 2013, 10:05:41 PM
Hey Nescio,

Yes it will be with Dr Atala's team but its still very preliminary. I go to Wake Forest for treatment and I brought it up with the lead urologist researcher there. There is still a ways to go before it becomes mainstream in America thanks mainly to the zombies at the FDA, but theres a good chance that outside of America things will progress much quicker. Anyways, there's a lot more that ill be sharing soon as I go for a follow up in 2 weeks, but there is progress being made and its accelerating faster than ever. We are too close to give up hope now.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: DBNO on February 12, 2014, 09:56:45 PM
I think of it all the time too. Something as heavy as this I can easily convince myself that I will never ever be in a relationship again. And rightly so, I have absolutely nothing that would keep the interest of a healthy woman desire. I mean let's face it. Women need sex and love sex too. A walk in the park sounds sweet and all, but I'm not the type that falls for the BS that cannot possibly be sustained. Sex to a woman is extremely important. As it was once for me.
Peyronies Disease has left me hopeless as well as helpless. I say helpless because there is no way I can honestly approach a girl I may fancy and pursue her only to blow it in the bedroom.
I got Peyronies Disease Aug 2013 and it has progressed to the point where I can no longer maintain an erection, even for a few seconds. It's like I have no feeling whatsoever. It's thinner and it is shorter which is a drag in of itself!
At first I thought it to be a curse, I've slowly realized that it's just one of many, many unfortunite things nature offers up.
I'm on all the pills, the VED and I have only gotten worse. It's just the way it is I guess.
I do have hope that someday something like a real cure will become relevant, but that is only really a pipe dream I entertain myself with. From what Iv'e read and heard, Doctors and drug companies don't have the interest to cure it. Yea, I think of killing myself every day all the time, who in our shoes wouldn't?...I just don't act out on it and I try to default to a simple place in my mind that's devoid of such needyness.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Norm on February 12, 2014, 11:16:24 PM
I know this sounds lame, but there is a lot more to sex than penetration. Women have complained since time began that men are too interested in a slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am. Concentrate on the positive. You can spend a lot more time on foreplay and on pleasuring her. If penetration is all she cares about, then it's a pretty shallow relationship to begin with. You can work at it and make a sensual relationship possible if you want to. And if your treatment results have not been good so far, maybe you just haven't turned the corner yet. You might be worse off had you not done it. The main thing is to not lose hope. Wouldn't you hate to end it all today just to find out in the afterlife that the big news is they found a remedy for Peyronies Disease on the day you left? My point is, keep trying. You have to.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on February 13, 2014, 12:22:17 AM
DBNO

You are very wrong regarding that nothing will help.
Even with very bad ED have solution, and the solution is an implant.
I don't know how old you are but I am proposing you to read JackP blog.
Penile Implant (http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com/?zx=6bd9084ae8c825f8)
I am also proposing you to read the topics regarding penile implant on the forum

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: ThePerfectMelody on March 02, 2014, 05:44:25 AM
Dio...

I can't say that I've really considered killing myself over having Peyronie's Disease, but I have-and do- deal with periods of dark depression. I just want you to know that I had a surgical procedure that changed the course of my sex-life for the better. Before, it was hard to penetrate but after the surgery, I am now able to penetrate with no problem! It was a huge weight off my shoulders. I still have some work to do and need to go back and have another problem addressed, but I just want you to know there are doctors out there who know what they are doing and can and WILL help you! Keep trying!

Melody
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: clincoln on March 04, 2014, 07:31:06 PM
My brother killed himself at age 24, as far as I know he had a perfectly functioning dick. The impact on my family was absolute devastation. He certainly transferred his pain to us, and while I forgive him and respect his right to his action, I have to say it's a selfish escape and not one I can see taking.

We'll all be dead forever. We have to find a way to live with this.

Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on March 04, 2014, 10:35:36 PM
clincoln

Thanks for posting your own painful experience in the subject.
Hope it will make some people to rethink this issue.

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: DBNO on March 05, 2014, 11:23:37 AM
Idk, it seems like the depressing reality of my situation fluxuates radically, when I think that it's over and all. Has anyone else lost the sensation in their penis where it was most sensitive?
I've only had Peyronies Disease for a few months so I don't kno if it gradually comes back after the acute phase..anyone?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: emasculated on May 01, 2014, 06:12:50 PM
I was just reading through the beginning of this thread because I was having some feelings of sadness lately..
I looked at some of the participants in the discussion and their last login / active times and it's been years in parts.
I suspect some of the younger guys participating back in 2011 may not be "with us" anymore in another sense... kind of sad.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Skjaldborg on May 01, 2014, 06:26:15 PM
Quote from: emasculated on May 01, 2014, 06:12:50 PM
I suspect some of the younger guys participating back in 2011 may not be "with us" anymore in another sense... kind of sad.

I think that's rather pessimistic and unfounded. It's much more likely that people move on from the trauma of this disease and learn to deal with it. I'm not saying people always improve, that's not possible, but people do get emotionally stronger over time and better able to handle the emotional stress.

I'm sure it's a relief for younger sufferers to vent and ask for help here and then move on when they get medical help and a support system.

In my case, I am very close to where I was pre-disease. Not perfect, but good enough. I stick around to help others out because the oldbies around here helped me. Not everyone does that, but that's OK.

-Skjald
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on May 01, 2014, 07:09:53 PM
Two approaches to life:
One pessimistic  :(, one optimistic  :)
I was and will be always optimistic. :)
Try always to see the half full glass :), not the half empty glass :(

James


Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: inkhorn on May 01, 2014, 08:11:35 PM
I can say I have not read every reply to this thread, so maybe  I speak out of turn. Life is life, if you commit suicide due to peyronies, you'll commit it over other problems as well. Peyronies,prostate cancer, ED, etc etc etc, is not the reason to kill ourselves, but rather our inability to cope with the hand life has dealt us. I have been young and now I am old, character is forged in the furnace of adversity. This malady is just another hurdle in this lower plane we live with. My sincere regards, especially to my younger brethren,who will overcome and find their way. Inkhorn
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: UrsusMinor on May 26, 2014, 05:02:55 PM
I hate it when people post things that begin, "I have a good friend who..." because it is often bogus. But here I go:

I actually do have a friend, who I have known for over forty years, who is a specialist in suicide. He wrote his dissertation on Sucicide and Life-Threatening Illness. Aside from his personal psychology practice, he also works as a late-night counselor on a suicide hot line. (Now there's a fun job at 3 am.)

Anyhow, he believes that suicide as a solution to problems needs to be confronted as a real option so that people can work through the idea and see what it really means. Society, and the mental health profession, generally regard suicide as the ultimate evil, and prevent anyone from even thinking it through.

Most people--(even those who are looking at what MAY be a painful, humiliating death that will cause suffering not only to themselves but to their loved ones, and destroy the family finances)--most people who think it through rationally come to the conclusion that suicide doesn't really make sense--or if it does make sense, it only makes sense when the chips are down, and a hideously painful death is inevitable and imminent.

The problem is that the topic is virtually offlimits to discussion. Even bringing it up can result in legal interventions, massive guilt-trips, forceable drug treatment. We aren't allowed to discuss it. So, I'm totally in favor of people raising the issue and thinking it through. But I think in the case of Peyronie's, it's a bit excessive. 

The people who DO commit suicide are usually in a state of deep self-created drama, and it is often done for dramatic effect...or even accidentally, as part of a big piece of drama.

I think most people who are allowed to think it through come to the conclusion that suicide is an option--but why do it now? Why not wait and see? Hey, you can always do it later!

The only situation I can imagine suicide for myself is unbearable physical pain with no hope of anything but a terminal outcome--and one where I would become so debilitated that I might not be able to kill myself.

But, killing myself because my dick stops working? C'mon, get real. It's really dramatic to talk about, but it's also really whiny adolescent BS. Oh, it was crushing for me to come down with it, and I locked myself in a room and sobbed about it, and even now--I'm still in the early phases--I'm filled with fear about what may happen next. But SUICIDE? Talk about going nuclear. Big solution to a problem, that in the context of huma existance, isn't that, umm, large.

Plus, the story might always change. From some of the reviews of implants, it sounds like in a few years you might be able to buy yourself a better piece of equipment than anyone was born with. In fact, even though mine still works (yeah, it's curved and F^@$!ng hurts, but it's still working so far), I may trade it in on a better model once they become available.

I'm holding out for Rich Corinthian Leather upholstery, computer-controlled fuel injection, and built-in GPS. I'm not going to go killing myself any time soon when the Ferrari of penises might be mine.

I also plan to have a metal detector built into mine, for weekends at the beach.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: welshwales on May 26, 2014, 07:34:52 PM
Interesting points UrsusMinor. I think it's a matter of perspective. There will be guys who've rarely had health problems, have a high sex drive and feel like their cock defines them as men. Then there are guys who have had life threatening illnesses who know how  it feels to desperately want nothing more than to survive. The first kind are probably more likely to think about the concept of suicide, but when it comes down to stepping off a stool with a rope around their necks their perspective is likely to change.
A family member of mine opted for a full castration when he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He wanted to live more than anything else. His bargain saved his life. I remember a teenage cousin saying he'd rather die than lose his nuts, but years later he admitted he would have chosen life over his knackers.
Once you've looked death in the face and felt that cold grim possibility of loss of life, and seen the fear and desperation etched upon the faces of your family when they see you in hospital, you'd do almost anything to avoid dying, so you can prolong your time with loved ones.
Peyronie's is a harsh deal, but there are far worse monsters lurking out there!
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: emasculated on May 26, 2014, 10:34:54 PM
I had a bad experience naively talking on a german board too openly about suicide (without tor switched on). Police at my door next day with the transcripts in hand. That was unpleasant! We have a serious problem in this society. We seem to be so scared of death which is totally irrational. The eastern cultures have much healthier outlook! Jean Amery has written very eloquently about this. How come society is all of a sudden sooo concerned about us as soon as we want to do ourselves what comes naturally sooner or later anyway, namely step out of life? Otherwise it doesn't give a damn about us. Limited resources.. you are unemployed, no one gives a crap, you are alone, no one gives a crap. You decide to do yourself a humane service and end your own suffering: they come to the "rescue". And you fall victim to the professional ambition of physicians who want to "save" you. Or get transfered to a psychiatric facility where they pump you full of drugs and basically brainwash you back into "life logic". The humane thing would be: physician finds almost dead person with suicide note. Physicians actually helps him and finishes the job with an easy injection. Same if someone is deadly ill and suffering. Simple injection. Done. There is no ethical dilemma here. Doing otherwise is simply a crime. And you know what I say to grieving family and friends of a suicide? Read the letter again carefully, have some empathy to the situation and be happy for him. Grow up, deal with your own complex surrounding death and let that person have his freedom. I had a friend who did this. He explained carefully his reasons to me in a letter. I am happy for him. Because I'm grown up and got it. He had good reasons. I highly respect him for this step. Anyways, I can't think of anything worse than Peyronies still. It literally robs you of your manhood, destroys it. And there is nothing you can do about it. Sure, you can take a bunch of drugs that make you terribly sick and help a little at best. Or have surgery which transforms the mangled, curved and shrunken member into a straight and tiny member. Even before if you'd asked me. My motto was always: Damage to your brain or genitals --> the end. Because that is just too much psychologically, for me anyway. Maybe brain damage is the only thing worse than this. That would be the only thing that comes to my mind which would be worse. Sorry but that is the plain truth. And I would opt for no treatment in the case of cancer, especially now. This has totally ruined my life. I tried to deal with it somehow and I fail repeatedly. I'm alone and lets face it this is getting worse and a woman will walk if I get to a bad stage where it's shrunken to nothing and I can't maintain an erection. Plain and simple. But that's not even the point. I'M just utterly  unhappy and will never be happy again. I'm not bitter or anything. At least outwardly. I had the most horrible year ever in my life. Even if the disease now completely disappeared I'm scarred for life psychologically. I AM overly sensitive, always been. This has been too much. This is just my 2 cents on the suicide discussion. Take it or leave it!
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on May 26, 2014, 11:22:58 PM
emasculated

I don't want to argue with you as the argument will never end.
One thing that I would like to say that if you were ready to make an implant, it was changing your life and your life perspective, but don't seems that you are ready for that.
Second is my believing. I believe that God give us life and he is the only one that can take it.
So for me is much easy.
You talk about the far east (living there total of 13 years already) that people are taking the issue much more easy. You are right, but don't forget the main reason is they religion. Knowing that you will reborn again and again, changes the way of thinking.

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: UrsusMinor on May 27, 2014, 11:58:27 AM
Quote from: emasculated on May 26, 2014, 10:34:54 PM
I'm not bitter or anything. At least outwardly. I had the most horrible year ever in my life. Even if the disease now completely disappeared I'm scarred for life psychologically.

Well, this isn't the worst year of MY life, even from a medical point of view. Back in 1993, I contracted a severe case of encephalitis. I lost most of my motor control. Couldn't walk. Couldn't eat without spilling things all over myself. When I talked I slurred my words like a drunk about to pass out. And couldn't think straight.

I made a full recovery, but it wasn't clear at the time what would happen. Getting it all back was a long, slow road. Took about three years. Let me tell you, that was a lot scarier than this.

When the encephalitis disappeared, it didn't leave me "scarred for life psychologically." It left me thankful for all kinds of things I'd never been thankful for: The ability to go for a walk. The ability to write. The ability to stand on one foot. (I'm better at that than I was before, as intensive power yoga was part of my recovery process.)

So, I find your viewpoint a bit odd. If my Peyronie's completely disappeared, what I would be is profoundly grateful and happy.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Skjaldborg on September 09, 2014, 12:48:21 AM
tollundman,

Dealing with Peyronie's is not easy. It is a terrible affliction and you have every right to feel frustrated and angry; we all do. However, you do have control over how much it controls your life. It is not a death sentence for love, sex, and companionship unless you let it.

I have social anxiety and recently started addressing it seriously with therapy and medication. This has helped me come out of my shell. I am also going through a very painful divorce, but I am hanging in there by keeping busy, reducing my alcohol intake and exercising. Sometimes I have to force myself to get out of the house and meet people, but that's what you have to do.

Get out there and live life. In the grand scheme of things, the shape and function of your penis doesn't really matter that much, even in regards to sex. I suggest getting any underlying mental health treatments addressed along with your Peyronie's You can always talk to us here or PM me if you need help. I got Peyronie's at 29, so I know how much it sucks to have this at a young age. Hang in there.

-Skjaldborg
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Cal30 on November 22, 2014, 10:12:38 PM
Just a quick reply to the OP's question: "Which of you has thought to suicide?"

I have, many times, but I find the idea of killing myself even scarier than the thought of living with this condition.

I also think of how it would affect my friends and family if I killed myself, and what it would say about me as a man.

What good would it do, or what encouragement would it be to other men struggling with this disease? How would it help the medical community treat other patients, and how would it help future generations of sufferers deal with this problem?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: ziogwe on May 28, 2015, 02:06:32 PM
I'm thinking about it right now actually.  If it were the only thing I was dealing with then maybe I wouldn't be.  But I'm dealing with another potentially fatal disease and I just recently got over that over the past few months.  Now there is another incurable disease I have to deal with on top of everything else.  I don't think I could ever go through with it, but I can't help but think if I were dead I wouldn't have to deal with any of this BS anymore.  The longer I stay alive the longer I realize I really hate life.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Cc on May 28, 2015, 04:15:48 PM
I know sometimes you can let negative thoughts overwhelm you,  living with cogenital penile curvature for years affected me intensely.  At university i had sex with just random girls i met in the clubs and bars as you do when your a student, girls commented on my penis.  Other real realtionships i had those girls commented on my penis, it made me feel really insecure, i always felt i was inferior as a man, because of a curved penis, face to face ppsitions were difficult and in a realtionship it impeded intimacy..  my realtionships broke down due to ultimately my insecurity with my penis and the manifistations that would surface in the realtionship.  Other girls liked me but i avoided many realtionships because of the bent penis. 

But i knew inside myself something had to be done, i was scared of surgery but i did anyway..  sometimes courage is not about not being scared, its about doing it anyway.  I cant judge your situation but there are treatments out there.  Dont give up...  science is making great leaps in terms of progress.. 

Its easy for others to judge and say your weak etc, but they dont really know, we know, negative thoughts can block the reason, the logical part of our minds dont let that happen, try a different route..  through a new treatment maybe ...   new surgery etc.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: kuaka on May 29, 2015, 10:43:18 AM
There are many reasons a man might contemplate suicide.  I've been there a time or two myself.  I spent years with an addiction which ultimately may be the actual cause of my current situation, which manifested on the heals of "recovery" from a lifelong heavy masturbation habit.  Contemplating it does not mean you are "weak".  Actually doing it on the other hand...

Shakespeare said it "To be, or not to be.  That is the question.  Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the pangs and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take up arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them."

Such a question is often presented to men, troubled vexatiously as those of us here doubtlessly be.

The saddest thing in the world though would be to give up all hope and take such an irreversible action right before some breakthrough treatment or cure surfaces, or personal discovery of a heretofore untried thing which would work in your specific case.

Chin up and carry on.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: nemo on May 29, 2015, 02:08:52 PM
Agreed.  Imagine if one of the men who has seen fairly impressive impressive improvement through Xiaflex had ended his life in say the summer of 2013, right before Xiaflex was approved by the FDA. Would be a true shame. You just never know what the fates will bring if you power through adversity as best you are able.

Nemo
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Stabler on May 30, 2015, 09:54:29 AM
This thread kept me up most of the night, I had skimmed through it and was just in awe by the few posts that I had read. I got up this morning and I started from the beginning and yes, I read every post.

I am not going to tell you that I know how you feel, I'm a woman, I don't have a penis or Peyronies, I can't imagine what it is like for a man to have what he feels like "makes him a man" taken from him or at the very least deformed in his eyes in some way.

I had never even heard of Peyronies until my guy (who is a member) told me he had it, he let me know, he told me, wrote it down so that I could learn about it which by the way I think is something you should all do up front. Now, were those the first words out his mouth?? No, but he was up front about it. I read many posts where members were/are avoiding relationships because they didn't/don't know how to approach this condition with women, tell them outright. If they are worth your time, they aren't going to go running, they will be here in this forum learning about Peyronies Disease, trying to find out how to support and help you through this.

My guy and I are a new couple, I don't know how long our relationship will last he may hate the way I fry chicken or I may hate the way he doesn't pick up his socks but I would not walking away because of Peyronies, and for as long as we are together I am going to be here learning and helping him how ever I can. There are SO many other things that could be so much worse in a relationship, I know because I have lived them.

Whether or not you can physically have intercourse with a woman IS NOT what makes you a man, I feel like some members feel this way, it is how you treat her, how you love her and a real woman knows this. If all the woman wants is intercourse then allow her to move on.

As for you gentlemen, if you are in a position that you are unable to get an erection, and your fear is that you won't be able to get pleasure yourself from a sexual encounter with a woman, there are many things that a woman can to that will can make you feel loved and wanted even if you can't have an erection. And I don't have to tell you that your erection is not requirement to please your woman. Keep in mind, your woman can stand by you through this thick and thin but in the end, YOU will have to come to a mental agreement with yourself that your bond, your love, is stronger than.. more than... your penis.

Suicide..... I can tell you that I used to think that people who committed suicide were weak, please notice I said "used to" I had a life changing event that happened in my life 2 years ago that pushed me to the very edge of my mental abilities, and my only thought was "I just want the pain to end" and there were days that I seriously thought that it would be better if it was just over. I struggled to get out of bed every day, but I did, I barely made it to work, but I did, it cost me my health a great deal, but I am here, and the pain is gone. I understand the feeling of wanting the pain to end, my reason was not the same as yours, but I strongly encourage you to get up every day, go to work, and strive for your good health, so that you can be here tomorrow.


Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Cc on May 30, 2015, 12:03:27 PM
Hi Mary

I think its a great reply you posted, however its extremely difficult for a man to feel like a man if he couldnt have intercourse or in my case before (hopefully) surgery disabled in face to face positions.  I guess its how you feel about yourself, even if your partner is supporting you which is great, if its causing enough of a distortion within self this will be ultimately outwardly be projected.  Its nice to hear that you standing behind your man
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Stabler on May 30, 2015, 04:34:19 PM
I agree Cc,

I cannot possibly put myself in your positions, I guess I just hope that my post helps some of the member realize there are women out here that will stand by you and be there for you if you allow that to happen. The women who wont, aren't worth your time or sorrow. In my opinion  :)
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: kuaka on May 30, 2015, 07:07:23 PM
Mary,

Thank you for a woman's perspective.  I have a woman who is committed to staying with me after 25 years of marriage, in spite of our downs and ups...more downs than anybody should have to put up with.  Our actual physical interaction needs some work though.  I'm up for most anything, but she's pretty much clueless about how to give me pleasure.  That's partly my fault with my SA issues over the years, but I may be stuck because of it...until I can get my body to cooperate anyway.

The hardest part for me is to not withdraw from her.  We have a good intellectual relationship as well, so that helps...but I still feel alone.  Physically being separated due to work doesn't help, but I need this job to keep my daughter alive for now...her medical bills are taking the lion's share of what I can bring in for the time being, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  A visit to the oncologist this next week will tell me if its an oncoming freight train or not.

Kuddos to you for standing by your man.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Stabler on May 30, 2015, 09:04:16 PM
Kuaka,

I have to say 25 years tells me your woman is a keeper :)

I honestly don't know what we will be in for since this is new to both of us. I think the visit to the Urologist is the first big step because it is one chosen from the list from this forum so at least it is in the right direction. I have printed so much information from this forum I almost have a book but I feel like I need to have it. I want to know all I can.

My guy asked me the other night what I was doing, I told him I was scanning the Peyronies forum, I asked him, does that bother you, am I getting to personal in your business, and he said to me "No, I think its cool that your there, you might catch something I miss" it was a relief to me that he said that because it made me feel like he was comfortable with my wanting to learn about his disease, he wasn't shying away from me about it like I have read so many members in here do.

Kuaka, all I can suggest to you is be open with your woman, while it seems your plate is overflowing with things try and make the time for just the two of you to be together, tell her things that could be pleasing to you and allow her to do them but find some middle ground. It's pleasing to women to be able to please their men, however that may be. it could be something as simple as a back rub or a massage but if you find it pleasurable we will too.  ;D

Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Thisismyusername on June 03, 2015, 09:20:24 AM
When I got the condition and had really bad chronic pain for a year I thought about it almost every day.  It's been 2 years now and the 2nd year was a lot better, I didn't think about it too much.  But now that my relationship failed I've started thinking about it again.  I'm so angry with my position in life and how everything has turned out.  I've tried so hard and struggled for so long and make incredible progress but despite all that I'm so far from normal.  I think I'll be alone forever and struggling with this for the rest of my life.  What's the point when you are just surviving?  Being strong, staying positive, having hope... these things just help you get by.  I can get by but I can't be happy like this.  So what's the point?  This is not how I envisioned my life.  I don't think I was asking for so much in life, but I can't have even the simple things I wanted.  I'm so incredibly alone. 
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Stabler on June 03, 2015, 11:59:13 AM
I guess the point...

Is that you aren't alone. We are here for you, no matter what, and I can certainly be emailed any time if day if u just need to talk something through, I would be willing to bet I'm not the only one willing to do that.

Also, wouldn't it be a shame when the right woman comes along, if you aren't here to be with her
you shouldn't give up.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: kuaka on June 03, 2015, 03:34:11 PM
Mary, you are a breath of fresh of fresh air.  It is Mary, right?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Stabler on June 03, 2015, 03:50:41 PM
Yes,  and thank u but I am only saying what is I my heart.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Thisismyusername on June 03, 2015, 05:26:20 PM
Thanks, it's actually good to hear from a woman on this.  Sometimes I don't know what to believe about everything.  But it's worth carrying on.  I have been noticing some improvement, just very slowly.  I hope I can eventually find a woman who will love me and appreciate me despite this.  And I hope I can come to accept my condition so that I can be a strong partner. 
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Stabler on June 03, 2015, 07:04:29 PM
So okay...

This may be long but Im a woman so you probably expect that  ;) if its to looong and you need to delete it Admin, that's ok.

Since Im a woman I don't have Peyronies so I cant share my Peyronies story with you. In my original post on this particular board I did share that in the last 2 years I had considered suicide but had chosen a different path. While I wont go into the details of why I will share this with you because it relates to this board.

I know the pain of feeling unwanted and unloved, I know what it is like to feel like you don't look like you should or like someone else wants you to or thinks that you should, I know what it is like to be left behind and have someone else chosen over you. I know what it feels like to be ashamed of your body, to not want it to be seen by the opposite sex because you are afraid of what their face will reveal, or that they wont be able to perform and have it not be because of Peyronies disease. I know this pain, the stress that it can bring to your life, the fear that you wont find someone because you are to afraid to trust yourself and them.

Am I all better now? No, not by any means, it's getting better though, I am learning to trust,

What you all need to know is that to the right woman, you are going to be and mean so much more than your penis. and please notice that I said "woman" unfortunately young girls may not understand this knowledge and to be honest they shouldn't however that doesn't make it easier for you young men dealing with Peyronies. For you, you just might have to find a girl that is more mature, No not an old woman like me (hush, no giggling allowed ::) ) but a girl that is mature in mind, someone that you can open up with about the Peyronies and that will be interested in learning and helping if possible like I want to be.

But you have to be here to experience all of that. If you decide to check out one day because of this...... you could be missing out on a lifetime of happiness with the one person you have been waiting for all this time. every day I believe a little more that I am worth being here. Im thankful that I chose to stay on this earth. And I hope that my being here in this group will help you to see that you are worth staying on this earth too. I will be your biggest cheerleader (I'm old and cant do cartwheels anymore but I'm loud... I'm Italian LOL)

And yes I know.... one of you are going to say, "you don't know, you haven't walked in my shoes" you're right. I'm not a man, I don't have a penis, but any woman worth any amount of your time, will love you faults and all, but before that can happen you have to learn to love yourself faults and all other wise you will never be able to let that right woman in. 

So the next time you think about checking out, take 10 minutes and ask yourself, have I really taken the time to love myself so that someone else can love me too. If you haven't, you might start there, it might not be the other persons fault, and yes I AM speaking from experience.

Okay handsome men, enjoy your evening.  :)
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: wonderbread1662 on June 04, 2015, 06:49:22 AM
I just wanted to thank you for sharing your views on this condition Stabler. We don't get a lot of female opinions on here so seeing your post made my day. Although you don't have peyronie's I can relate to a lot of what you had to say. Depression and the feeling of not being good enough to be loved was present long before I developed this condition.

It's nice to know that my feelings towards this condition and just in general, are not limited to just myself. It takes a lot of dedication and heart to comment on a forum that doesn't directly effect you. Heck I don't comment on female oriented forums haha. Let alone make a post that long and heart felt to help others see in a different light. I just wanted to say thanks as it has made me feel better and I'm sure others as well. It's nice to know there are woman out there that feel the way as you do.

I find it admirable that you are willing to work with your partner through this and to grow as a couple. I hope that in time I will be able to love and accept me, to the point that I could love someone else, as unconditionally as I would want to be loved myself.

 
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Stabler on June 04, 2015, 07:36:56 AM
Good Morning Wonderbread :) (love the name)

I am glad my post helped you feel better. Another good reason that I stayed on this earth.

Have a great Day!!
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: FightYourWayThroughIt on June 08, 2015, 05:00:02 PM
I think it's inevitable to have these thoughts with such a condition. Ultimately, what we want is a loving partner and a family, which seems impossible to us - who would ever want this? we all think.
These thoughts irrationally overcloud our minds and I emphasize that these thoughts are irrational! I think it's natural for a man to feel hopeless and pointless without sufficient manhood - It's part of our nature I suppose - but we have to acknowledge as Stabler67 thankfully points out that a penis isn't everything in a relationship. We have to remember that tonnes of people suffer dysfunctional relationships and unhappy lives without messed up penis' - other things count more than we let our animalistic subconscious' think.
Also, as UrsusMinor says, much, much worse could happen. I suppose it's not until you are in the position where worse is happening for you to really appreciate that Peyronies isn't as life debilitating as we first think, but you have to try and recognise that you could be paralysed, you could be blind, you could be deaf, but hopefully this isn't the case, and I think Peyronies is nothing in comparison with issues such as those. Sex is so temporary - most of our happiness and enjoyment comes from other things in life like friendships and sports and all sorts of things us physically able can enjoy. We shouldnt take the simple things like being able to walk, see and listen for granted, because these are far more valuable and rewarding things than a penis. Peyronies doesn't affect day to day activity hugely (apologies for those this doesn't apply to with constant pain from the condition) - it can be forgotten, albeit briefly, as you get on with your day. blindness and paralysis for example, cannot be forgotten, they are forever there.
you can probably tell by my username that suicide has been a contemplation for me, and just viewing life as a fight really helps me deal with it.
Yet, surprisingly, thoughts of suicide also help me deal with things - not serious contemplation, but knowing its there if need be. if things really do become unbearable, you do not have to worry, you are not trapped in this life. There is always the release. Why now though? things may always get better. treat life like a video game - no matter how many mistakes you make, or no matter how hard it is you usually keep on going, determined to pull it together. Only when you realise that it is impossible or that there is nowhere to get in the game do you quit, thus I say leave suicide as the last resort when you can somewhat be certain life needs to come to a halt, and I do not deem Peyronies to be such a deciding factor.

Now to look at an even brighter side - you do not have to accept Peyronies as your eternal curse! 3 piece penile implants look even better than having a normal penis. Malleable ones and 2 piece look like they should be avoided as they cause tissue distrophy and are supposedly not that comfortable, but 3 piece implants do not lead to any distrophy and seem to allow people to have naturally feeling and looking flaccid and erect states. I mean, if anything, you can see Peyronies as a blessing in disguise to bring us to this wonderful opportunity - no more unexpected, unwanted erections as you control when you have an erection, and no need to fear sex as there is no awfully vulnerable corpus whatever it is that forms our penis' and is so ridiculously weak! think of the pros with sex too - even if you finish when you dont really want to, you can keep going, you can maintain the erection for as long as you like. Obviously there is the issue of cost, but the price is a few thousand pounds which I find to be so so worth it and not much in light of other life changing operations.

Indeed! there is light at the end of the tunnel  :)
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Thisismyusername on July 28, 2015, 09:59:46 PM
FightYourWayThroughIt, I found your post very wise.  I really do try to remind myself that my life is good in many ways, and things could be so much worse.  I was watching the sopranos and in one episode there was a quote, supposedly an Ojibwe saying, "Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while, a great wind carries me across the sky" which I think is often true about my life. 

For me I am struggling with pelvic pain every day and that is the hardest part right now.  I think that might be the biggest thing which prevents me from trying to date again right now.  Of course there is fear of reinjury too, and the pain during sex. 

I really want to find someone to love me and accept me for who I am.  I hope that can happen eventually. 
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: kuaka on July 29, 2015, 12:22:09 PM
Life itself should not be taken for granted.  I died 33 years ago...obviously not permanently, but enough to know that the death of the body is NOT the end of existence.  "We" continue long after that.  Ultimately, the eternal nature of our existence is open to interpretation, but I believe it.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Jay0330 on February 23, 2016, 08:10:29 PM
Quote from: Nemo on May 29, 2015, 02:08:52 PM
Agreed.  Imagine if one of the men who has seen fairly impressive impressive improvement through Xiaflex had ended his life in say the summer of 2013, right before Xiaflex was approved by the FDA. Would be a true shame. You just never know what the fates will bring if you power through adversity as best you are able.

Nemo

whos to say he wouldve been able to afford the procedures?
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Jimbruski on February 27, 2016, 11:38:14 AM
Depression is an extremely lonely condition.  I've best heard it described as "complete insignificance".
My suicide attempt hurt so many people around me that having to heal those relationships really opened my eyes to the value of those relationships.
And all of this was before ED and Peyronies.
I'm happy to share my story and my climb back out of depression either here or by PM.

Jimbruski
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Stabler on February 27, 2016, 12:32:00 PM
Depression is a dangerous thing for the most part because as Jimbruski said its lonely, it makes you make yourself lonely. No matter how much better you would be to surround yourself with others, you dont. Yes, I am speaking from experience.

I will share something with you. I used to believe that people that committed suicide were weak, that they should have known or seen that there were other options, and then I found out that my husband had been having an affair. I tried to save my marriage, offered my forgiveness, counseling but I was told that I just wasnt what he wanted. (Enter depression) Now I was given no excuse or reason for the affair even though I asked, so I was left thinking it was something I had done or not done that led him astray, that it was my fault. I went to a place that I pray I never go to again, I separated myself from my family and friends, I spoke to no one went no where.

One night I was sitting at home and I was thinking for what seemed like hours that there was really nothing left to go on for. I couldnt keep or save a marriage of 22 years together and he wouldnt even tell me what it was I had done wrong. I thought if it was just all over I would not have to feel this pain anymore, the pain was so strong, mental pain, physical pain it was every part of me and I just wanted it to stop and then it hit me.... this is why people commit suicide, it isnt because they are weak, it is because they just want the pain to stop, they dont want to feel the agony of what they are going through anymore. I felt so bad for having felt like I did about suicide victims, I sat there for I dont know how long and then thought of my son.

My son is the light of my world, maybe the biggest mammas boy on earth and the first one to admit it  ;D but I didnt want to leave him behind to have to deal with the fact that I had left him to pick up the pieces of my life and then try and put his back together because of my choice. He does not know about that night, he does not know that he saved my life, but it is because of him that I am here today.

Depression is very dangerous and that is why I always offer to msg with the members of this forum if they feel they are in a bad place, I can be reached anytime by PM or email and have been several times since Ive joined the forum. I want you all to know that I am here to get you through a tough time if you find yourself there.

Stabler67
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: kuaka on February 27, 2016, 05:30:39 PM
In our over sexualized society to have an impairment of our sexuality...making us less than a man...is indeed a depressing situation.  I've thought of ending it, as I'm sure most in our position have at one time or another.  The truth is, there are medical advances all the time, and there is the possibility of finding the already existing treatment which works for you.  To give up is a tragedy.  Furthermore, there is actually much more to life than just sex.

I have successfully saved my daughter's life.  My work has paid her medical bills and I've found a treatment which is not only affordable but very effective for her condition.  If I had ended it before doing so, she would be dead too.  The destruction of other's I would have left behind would be huge.  No matter how much I am tired of my personal battle, my life is not "just" mine.  I am central to the very existence of many. 

Furthermore, a cure for my own condition may indeed be just around the corner.  To give up just because I'm tired is unthinkable.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: QuackAttack on February 27, 2016, 11:27:56 PM
I think Jim said it very well in that it hurt so many people. My perspective is this is the most selfish thing anybody can do because of the pain it causes the people around you. Moreover, if successful, you can never ask for forgiveness, so the people that do care about you can't forgive you because you haven't asked for it.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on February 28, 2016, 12:16:32 PM
QuoteMy perspective is this is the most selfish thing anybody can do because of the pain it causes the people around you
Very true QuackAttack
QuoteNo matter how much I am tired of my personal battle, my life is not "just" mine.  I am central to the very existence of many. 
Very true kuaka

And also take in consideration how much they will blame themselves for what you have done, a selfish and coward thing!!!

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Jonbinspain on February 28, 2016, 03:37:54 PM
I think it's difficult to criticise, we're all different. We have no idea what else is going on, or has happened in other people's lives. In some cases the onset of a Peyronies may just be the last straw to some guy.

Everybody's 'despair level' is different. Personally, I would only fight this, as I have done for 4+ years, but then I don't have too many other distractions or major problems in my life.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Jimbruski on February 28, 2016, 10:24:47 PM
Thanks Jonbinspain,

Although a person suffering depression may appear selfish or cowardly, it would be absolutely wrong to ever tell a depressed person that's how they are acting.  Depression doesn't allow rational, cognitive thinking.

The best that we can do is BE THERE if they need help.  The warning signs of depression are H (hungry) A ( angry) L (lonely) T (tired),  HALT!!  This is where depression lives.

Jimbruski
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: peyronny on February 29, 2016, 01:35:59 AM
I'd be lying if said I never thought of it.

But I don't think I've ever really considered it, if that makes sense.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Dros on February 29, 2016, 04:45:07 PM
Obviously there are several factors and depression is a complicated condition, but there is no way that Peyronie's should bring you to the point of contemplating suicide. There are loads of options and the treatment options will get better. Maybe I'm lucky, because I have virtually no pain. On the other hand I have a curve of around 60 degrees and have no partner, so this condition definitely sucks. However, giving up seems insane. You are not your dick!
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: csm101 on October 09, 2016, 04:31:35 PM
Lets just say, I cant take my own life....But if I were to pass in my sleep that would be fine by me
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Barnum on October 16, 2016, 01:43:34 AM
I am 58 years old and suffer from anxiety disorder, depression and agoraphobia and now peyronies. I am not sure I could actually kill myself, but I do feel as though in some way I am already dead. The one thing I had that got me through the anxiety, depression and agoraphobia was having a passionate sex life. Now that seems as if that may soon be history. If I was 78 it may not matter to me so much, but I am in a relatively new relationship of just 3 years. Our love life has slowed down greatly through the progression of the peyronies. The curvature has reached 90 degrees and that has made my attempt to initiate sex impossible causing me to feel simply less. Doctors I have seen have given me no real hope of a return to normal. Their attitude has been anything less than encouraging. If this is another life sentence for me, I don't think I can cope. She is understanding and tells me that see really isn't bothered and that her desire for sex has decreased because of her own issues, but I can't help but believe its because of the peyronies. I see a therapist for the other disorders, but haven't brought this one to his attention yet. I will, but I am not sure what he can do. The urologists I have seen were not helpful and just looked at me with confused looks. I am about to lose it.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: NeoV on October 16, 2016, 03:37:06 AM
You've come to the right place Barnum.

The only real solution is deep commitment, meaning you do everything in your power to stop Peyronie's from progressing. The most painful aspect of most physical disorders is being in a state of unknowing and helplessness. Once you do everything you can do, things feel much better even if your penis is still bent.

Everything I do, from coffee and blueberries in the morning, to the hot rice sock on my penis right now, is part of my commitment to it. I stretch my penis in front of my wife, and order the supplements with her. It's all just part of who I am, she knows it, I know it, and if anything it makes our sex life better, because I am committed to it and maintain a positive attitude.

I know how hard this can be, and in relationships foundations are truly key. If you did not bring up Peyronie's when the relationship started, it can be hard to re-establish yourself within that relationship later. I know it can feel like an uphill battle trying to fight for your masculinity, but this is all we've got and life is limited. As I've said before, even a man without a penis could be happy and enjoy "sex." I live each day for those even worse off than I am, the "man without a penis" is somewhat of my imaginary super hero. When I'm down I think of him, how he would exist in this world each day.

Anyway, 90 degrees is rough, but you have options! You can treat it!
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: LeeBee69 on October 16, 2016, 08:17:18 PM
Dear Tom,

I contracted T2 Diabetes when I was 36...I read all the internet and decided I would be dead or horribly maimed in a few years. At that point I had the beginnings of neuropathy in my toe that can lead to amputation, an exploded artery was found in my eye, the beginning of retinopathy and blindness...11 years on Doctors do not believe I am diabetic, I am fit and healthy, mostly and have better blood tests than most. That's due to lot's of research, not accepting what the medical community say but above all discovering the limitless inner strength we all have. Now I have Peyronies, the beginings of Dupytrens and even Plantar fibroma in my foot. I moved to the other side of the world and my relationship broke up and am alone here. But I know I will prevail. I have the strength as you do to get through this and I promise you will be stronger as a result. What ever your beliefs in life I am confident that it's not meant to be peaches and cream, without hardship there's no growth. There's a saying that the ancient greeks would have done nothing if it were not for the wind. It means that we need the hardships in our lives to drive us...night goes with day, there are no mountains without valleys...and so on.

I am not defined by my penis.

Practically I would suggest meditation, getting outside and into nature and away from EMF and such like. Get sun on your skin. Try cold thermogenesis - proven to reduce depression.

Best,
LeeBee
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Jimbruski on October 16, 2016, 08:30:00 PM
Barnum,

You are a carbon copy of myself with respect to disorders.  Anxiety, depression, unexplained fears, and Peyronies.  The difference between us at this point is that I tackled my disorders and with the help of others and medication I am "on top of the world".

See a good psychologist and psychiatrist for your mood disorders.  For your Peyronies get to a good urologist.  If you are bent 90 degrees and your urologist can't explain it then you need a new urologist.  Listen to the others who have posted and take control of your situation.  If you do you'll find that the Peyronies can be managed.

Good luck and continue to post as your journey with Peyronies continues.

Jimbruski
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Barnum on October 28, 2016, 12:53:42 AM
I don't know. When we first were together about three and a half years ago, our love life was great. When the peyronies started about one year ago sex started to slow down to the point now where I feel it is just a maintenance thing for her. She says her sex drive is low and has nothing to do with the peyronies, but they both seem to have arrived simultaneously. She says she always had a low sex drive, but I recall a women with a more than healthy one a year or two ago. Sex to me is a way two people express their love and passion for each other. When this slows down or becomes maintenance, what does that say about your relationship? I feel as if she is afraid to truly say what is on her mind. I think in some way she feels dependent on me in a financial and maybe an emotional way, but I can't help feel something has gone. She does suffer from social anxiety as well as PTSD. I have a hard time talking about it with her because she gets angry and blames herself and threatens to do harm to herself. Every night when we go to bed I lay there knowing she is next to me and I feel attracted to her, but I do not dare initiate anything for fear of rejection or the simple fact of not being able to. So I lay there awake feeling unsatisfied, alone, undesirable and lost. I believe she cares about me, I'm just not sure how much anymore. If she did eventually leave me once she was financial secure, I sure I would be alone, because I don't think any woman would want such psychological and physically damaged goods. I don't think I hav e the guts to kill myself, but I'm sure the loneliness would eventually finish the job. When my first wife died five and a half years ago after nearly 30 years together I thought I would die, but after a while I felt as though I could start a new relationship. The peyronies has taken that option away. If something doesn't improve in the near future with either the relationship or the peyronies I not sure what will become of me. I am really getting tired.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on October 28, 2016, 03:57:06 AM
Barnum

You wrote:
QuoteI sure I would be alone, because I don't think any woman would want such psychological and physically damaged goods.
&
Quote....I felt as though I could start a new relationship. The peyronies has taken that option away.
Both sentences are wrong.
I am sure from experience that have many woman that will be happy with you as you are. You need just to make an effort to find one. Not easy but can be done.
Sent you a PM

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Stabler on October 28, 2016, 07:15:58 AM
Barnum.....
James is right...... It can be done.

Giving your wife the benefit of the doubt, it is possible that she simply has a lower sex drive and with her anxiety and PTSD issues if she is taking any medication for those, that too can effect her sex drive. A healthy marriage can work with less actual sex and replace it with simple intimacies, hand holding, romantic walks finding something that you both enjoy that you can do together. You cant let the sex be what makes or breaks your marriage.

That being said.....
If for some reason she would leave, you have no reason to think that you wouldn't be able to find a relationship/love again. There are women, good women that know how to love unconditionally. Please dont give up hope.

Stabler67
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on November 01, 2016, 07:41:05 AM
QuoteThere are women, good women that know how to love unconditionally.
YES Stabler :) And they are many of them :)

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Dros on November 20, 2016, 06:23:43 AM
2+ months after corrective surgery and I'm having the time of my life (mostly completely non-related to Peyronie's and my sex-life)! I'm not (yet?) cured, but I'm able to have normal sex again, and I don't have to worry about this thing during the day. It's become more of an afterthought. There will be a fix eventually, and Peyronie's might actually make you happier in the longer term, given that you'll appreciate the little things much more. So hang in there! :-)
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Paolo on November 20, 2016, 03:13:10 PM
Dros,

German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche: "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger." It turns out that he was right  :) :)
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Richard Hertz on December 16, 2016, 09:40:00 PM
Suicide because of a bend penis?!

Um, no.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: peyronny on January 12, 2017, 05:26:26 AM
For many of us it's much more than a bend though.

I have seemingly chronic pain with no end in sight. I have a more positive attitude than before, but I still have have to wonder if this will ever really even improve at all. I'm focusing everything on just losing weight now so that I will be less prone to injury hopefully.


It's really a bittersweet feeling for me, my weightloss. I'm around 250 now, I've lost well over 200 pounds, used to be close to 500. But I don't feel any happier than I did when I was that ridiculous weight.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Paolo on January 12, 2017, 10:02:22 AM
peyronny, seriously you need a BIG high five, if I read that right you have lost 14 stone!, with every pound lost you are helping yourself from heart disease, cancer and diabetes.

I hope your weight and emotions continue to improve, it is nice to see you posting  :)
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: JayGould on May 05, 2017, 10:04:35 PM
Every hour, every day.  :(
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: kuaka on May 18, 2017, 11:15:46 PM
Hang in there Jay.  Medical improvements continually.  We may hear tomorrow about a new and effective treatment.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on May 19, 2017, 06:54:38 AM
Hi Kuaka

Long time didn't hear from you :)
How is your Peyronies?

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Jack1909 on May 25, 2017, 01:22:54 AM
I've been thinking of it for 10 years..
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Jack1909 on May 25, 2017, 05:17:46 AM
Every day it looks like I'm getting closer to it..
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: kuaka on May 26, 2017, 06:10:44 PM
James.  Thanks for asking.  I am stable as far as this dreaded condition is concerned.  My life is still pretty much consumed with keeping my daughter alive at this point.  I have zero extra time or money to devote to my own issues.  Hanging on for now.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Christopher1 on May 27, 2017, 05:49:12 PM
Hang in there, gentlemen.

Medicine is advancing.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: james1947 on May 28, 2017, 09:10:11 PM
Kuaka

Wish your daughter will get better :)
Keep on going, you are doing the right thing!

James
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: NeoV on May 29, 2017, 09:47:00 AM
I only had ideas about suicide once, when my penis was bent nearly 360 degrees after masturbating. I remember crying very hard and then just having this overpowering silence. In that silence I somehow just let go, and there was nothing bad, nothing terrible waiting for me, I just accepted it. It was a powerful moment for me.

While I understand how hard it can be, I think wanting to kill yourself is a premature idea. One can live their entire life unaware of certain ideas, mental models, or thoughts, that could literally save them. I always try to remember this, that at any given time, there is SOMETHING I am unaware of, some key idea, that could radically alter my way of living. As long as you want to have a good life, and never give up, I think there is always path to happiness.

It's very hard for me to talk about this, since I am sexually functional, and I know many guys aren't or are hardly at all. I still have daily moments where I look at my penis and just feel very bad, but I am still a lucky one who does not have a major deformity when erect at this point. Still, when I do see the bend when flaccid or while getting an erection I try to return to the kind of silence I found before: a non-judgmental commitment to action.

Just do not forget, there are people who need you. We need you here at the forums, no matter how dire your situation. Stay with us, we will figure this out. There must be a way to move forward and love life.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Patman on August 09, 2017, 04:48:42 PM
thinking more and more
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Byzantine on July 11, 2019, 10:18:21 AM
Sure. I think about it a lot. But, my situation is different. I already have peripheral neuropathy. A maddeningly painful chronic disease with no cure. ALWAYS in pain. My life was already hi-jacked from me BEFORE the peyronie's showed up. I'm 50 years old. If I'm still miserable by 60 I will take my own life. Honestly, I personally see nothing wrong with suicide. I have already lived an amazing life full of adventure, excitement, love, and tons of great sex. To ask for more is just being greedy. I'm not married. No girlfriend. No kids. Sure, my family would be sad if I passed away. But, living in pain and misery just so other people don't have to mourn is a stupid view from where I'm standing. I mean...we're all going to die anyway. Everything in the universe is dying. There's no point in fearing death since it is inevitable. BUT... if I didn't have the neuropathy I don't think I would consider suicide if peyronie's was my only health problem.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Stabler on July 11, 2019, 01:10:56 PM
Byzantine,

Hello, I am glad that you found our forum. I hope that if you ever really come to this thought that you will reach out to one of us for support so that maybe we could get you through it. I know that it is hell having multiple health issues but we are here for you no matter what.

Stabler
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: NeoV on July 12, 2019, 10:33:48 AM
Neuropathy is common in guys with Peyronie's. It can be cured with extreme ketogenic diet. NO alcohol not even a sip. My dad has it bad but I cured mine. This is a metabolic issue and glucose intolerance. It took me some weeks or a month for my nerves to feel normal but even just one day off glucose made a difference.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Byzantine on July 19, 2019, 09:50:04 AM
Quote from: NeoV on July 12, 2019, 10:33:48 AM
Neuropathy is common in guys with Peyronie's. It can be cured with extreme ketogenic diet. NO alcohol not even a sip. My dad has it bad but I cured mine. This is a metabolic issue and glucose intolerance. It took me some weeks or a month for my nerves to feel normal but even just one day off glucose made a difference.

Hi Neo. I looked in to the Keto thing. I can't see myself doing it. Couldn't possibly pull it off. Couldn't afford it. I've lowered alcohol intake to practically nothing, which sucks. I like drinking beer. I'm not going to deprive myself of the last few joys I have in life. Maybe if I get approved for ssi disability case which is pending (I have a hearing coming up in september) I can re-asses, but for now I just can't even think about living with zero carbs, zero sugar, zero alcohol... hell no.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: deliverance on July 23, 2019, 03:06:25 PM
Thought about it, yes.
Considered it, no.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: popopo on July 23, 2019, 04:00:31 PM
I would gladly kill myself or someone else for that matter if it fixed my issues. Unfortanetely after going trough a deep depression I realized I don't want to die. Part of me still doesn't care about me or my future anymore, but I'll stick around even if it's just so I can get this crap fixed at 90 years old have one final GOOD F~@< and maybe then I can die peacefully. Bottom line, I'd do anything to get rid of this disease, but commiting suicide won't fix my dick it will just kill the rest of me that's left. Then again, there are days when my symptoms get worse (It only gotten worse over time in my case) and I kinda get tired of it and start thinking about suicide again. Doesn't help anything to get negative like that though so I might as well just move on again.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Hawk on July 25, 2019, 09:04:07 AM
Good link XYZ.  I prefer the verticle invisible incision in the scrotum but it is not a huge issue if you don't really mind the scar.

The link shows that with far more problems than just penis issues that there are answers and that life can be great without being perfect.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: xskarma on November 09, 2019, 03:51:34 PM
I can kill myself anytime. It's weird but that idea on it's own made me not give a F~@< about the less important things in life and look towards the little things that give me happiness. Nothing seems too hard these days.
Title: Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
Post by: Godisreal on November 09, 2019, 05:08:11 PM
The goal is to keep your mind on being healthy, mentally and psychically. That goes a long way.
I know some cases are worse than others, but there's always a way.