Hi,
I am new to the site so forgive me if I do not post correctly. My Partner was diagnosed with Peyronies Disease about 2 years ago, and due to treatment and pain we weren't able to have regular sex until about 6 months ago. However, we still only have sex about once every 1-2 weeks and I am almost always the one who initiates it. He had told me a couple of months ago that he is still nervous about sex, but wants me to initiate it. However, partly because of my own issues with self esteem I suppose, I find initiating sex very difficult because I feel like I am forcing him to do something he doesn't want and that maybe he just isn't interested in me sexually anymore. He does always seem really into it though when we do have sex. I just wonder should I just be braver about initiating sex more often or is this too pushy?
mkat16
I deleted your two other posts, we are not allowed on the forum to post the same or almost same post more than ones.
We have a ladies only board that is not visible to male members. To get access, write a PM to Christine or LWillisjr.
Regarding your question, I think is very individual. Myself like very much if my wife is initiating the sex between us.
James
mkat16,
I think most men welcome their partners to be initiators. If he didn't like it he would tell you. I understand that it can make you seem insecure but don't worry about this. I'm sure he also has anxiety about satisfying you. So if you both enjoy it does it matter who initiates?
Also, I just granted you access to the ladies room but it is not very active. This board is for ladies only.
The more often you initiate and it results in successful sex, the sooner he will become comfortable again and start initiating himself. Regaining sexual confidence after injury can be a very hard hill to climb for some but it sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing, he is a lucky guy to have such an caring partner.
Mkat, I did respond to your post in the polls board but it must have been deleted rather than moved.
I do find myself more anxious about instigating sex, and like you my partner has her own issues with self esteem. My recommendation would be to instigate sex as often as you used to before the Peyronies Disease became a problem. It takes time and patience to get over these kinds of problems, and pushing things can cause anxiety which might affect ED in some guys.
I've been through your dilemma myself while my partner was on medications which utterly destroyed her libido. It was made worse by her depression and lack of confidence. So it was always me that instigated sex, and I was often rejected. The more I tried the worse things became. So I backed off and stopped trying so hard, and it actually helped. Instead I instigated different forms of intimacy like massages, candle lit dinners and baths together. We might not have been having sex as much, but it kept the relationship alive.