Peyronies Society Forums

Hi all,
This is my first post to this forum.  I started to show signs of Peyronie's Disease about a year and a half ago.  I lurked on this site for a while to research the problem and look for potential answers.  The Peyronies worsened my existing mild erectile dysfunction and created a very weak unpredictable, unstable erection with a hinge effect and about a 45 degree bend.  About 6 months ago while having sex with my wife I had an accident and bent my penis badly, due to a weak erection from the Peyronies Disease, and basically had a penile fracture along with a urethral tear. This resulted in a LOT of bleeding from my penis, think murder scene on the bed,  and every time I got something resembling an erection for next two days I bled out.  Had to wear Depends at night, no fun.  This was very traumatic for me and my wife.  Went to the ER when it happened and they looked at me like I was from Mars. Followed up with a urologist the next day and he said the I basically tore the urethra between it and the corpus spongiosum.  He said he could place a catheter for a couple of weeks or do nothing and see if it heals.  I opted for the second option and in a couple of days the bleeding stopped and hasn't recurred.  Needless to say, never want to go through that again.  After that trauma, my erectile dysfunction worsened both physically and mentally (due to fear) so I started to gravitate toward the idea of a penile implant, both to solve the erectile dysfunction problem, the Peyronies Disease condition and to ensure a safe, rigid erection that wouldn't result in another ER visit! Pills don't really help any more and I'm not interested in injections or VED as they don't really address the issue and if anything will make the Peyronies even worse over time.  At this point I haven't lost any significant length but I do have shape changes.  I'm not planning on waiting for the Peyronies to rob me of size while trying various remedies, none of which seem to prevent the inevitable conclusion.  I have been taking Pentoxyfilline, L-Arginine and Ubiquinone along with some traction and VED stretching in the meantime.  Not sure if any of those things have helped keep the condition at bay somewhat but I have decided to move ahead with the implant. 

After the trauma, I started to follow the FT forum to learn more about implants since at the time this site didn't really have an active implant forum.  I learned so much from posts by Merrix, Hawk, Alibaba and others.  I've read about the successes and horror stories.  While no outcome is certain and there are risks, the main thing I took from all of that was the choice of surgeon is probably the most important factor.  I've talked to numerous urologists, five to be exact and have met with Dr. Kramer and had a phone consultation with Dr. Eid.  In the end I have decided to proceed with Dr. Eid, out of pocket.  I have a pre-op appointment with him next week on Dec 18 and surgery scheduled for Dec 19th at 1:00 pm.  So Merry Christmas to me and hopefully I'll be stuffing my wife's stocking about 4 weeks later!

Hawk reached out to me after I posted about my case on FT to let me know that this site now has an active implant forum.  My goal is to contribute to this site by journalizing my experiences.  One of the things I have noticed about all of the journals to date is that no one really presents an accurate pre-op condition with actual photos.  As a guy who is researching and wondering if an implant is a good option, it would be nice to see actual before and afters with actual measurements.  As it stands, most guys claim they were a certain length before surgery and often complain of lost length after surgery.  Is their recollection of their pre-op size based on years ago before erectile dysfunction, or Peyronies Disease or prostatectomy took it's toll?  Or is it prior to surgery but based on a perception of their size with no actual measurements?  How did they measure their penis, was it accurate and repeatable from the same reference point?  How do we know it's true without pictures? The biggest concern from guys is size loss so I want to post clear pictures with measurements prior to my surgery and then follow up with progress pictures afterwards.  I am optimistic since I am in the good hands of Dr Eid that my outcome will be good and I want to be a resource for guys in the future to be able to make an informed decision.  Of course my case may not go as well as expected and that would be a source of information as well. 

I hope it's ok to post graphic pics on here, definitely NSFW.    As the date nears I'm definitely getting a bit anxious, second guessing whether this is the right decision, but I have to remember that I have done a ton of thinking and researching on this over the past year and came to this conclusion based on all that.  So, I'm not letting the last minute jitters deter me.  Any words of advice and/or encouragement are greatly appreciated!

More pics attached

Congratulations and thank you for a post that is memorable and a valuable contribution on several levels.  Forget the second-guessing.  When this is behind you will wonder why you did not do it a few months earlier but at least unlike me, you won't kick your dumb ass for wasting almost 15 years in trench warfare while you spent your time, your money, wasted intimacy, and loss of length.

There is no way to prove this but I can pretty much assure you that your preservation of size so far is a direct result of the Pentox, traction, and VED.  Very few experiences what you have and have no size loss to report.  On that note, what you have been through is without any doubt a classic case of what no man ever wants to experience.  That photos are a memorable education all by itself.  Honestly, when I first saw I thought it was a staged stock photo you copied to make a point. 

Your obsessive attitude about objective measurements that can be reliably repeated with the same results is EXACTLY correct.  Few things leave me more dismayed that to read someone posting, "I think I have gained some length" or "I seem to be losing girth".  If there is one thing a man on this forum needs to have, it is ACCURATE, OBJECTIVE, WRITTEN, measurements of length and girth of his penis. Your point about photo documentation is likewise a very solid point.  Again, congratulations on being the first to begin his journal with such documentation.

We are appreciative that you choose to help others while helping yourself and post your journal here on the forum.  I can assure you that it will never get buried 40 pages deep by repetitive posts.  While you are regularly posting it will obviously stay on the first page of the forum but when posts to your journal naturally slow, it will be made a sticky topic at the top of the board.  In time we will likely have a board just for journals.

PS: Be sure to show that photo to Dr. eid.  I am sure it will go into whatever he might have as a scrapbook.  It will seriously have the value of helping him remember you as an individual from all the patients he helps.  While he treats them all as friends, It can't hurt give him something that helps you to stand out in his memory.  That is in part why I talked him into lettling me take my phone into the OR so I could post awake during surgery. It also can't hurt to let him know your pre-op measurements are posted in photos on the forum :)

P-diddy,,

Thank you for coming to the forum to share your information with us. I have to tell you the trauma picture really made me take a step back. You and your wife must have been scared to death. I have seen many pictures here in the forum but none with that kind of shock value.

Your information will be very valuable to our members, it takes some a long time to decide to go with an implant so the more information we have the more we can help those that are undecided or afraid.

Please keep us updated and Merry Christmas to you and your wife!!  ;)

Stabler

P-Diddy, are you doing a BPEL with a ruler or is that a carpenters tape measure?  Firmly bone pressed is the only way to get consistent objective measurements because the pelvic bone becomes a fixed reference point.

I also recommend a BPSFL as well.  That does not do a lot of good after implant but it should be very near your BPEL and one of the measurements Dr. Eid will make is BPSFL.

I recommend 3 erect girth measurements as well.  1 right behind the glans 2 mid shaft 3 base.  If Erectile Dysfunction hinders any of these use  the VED to get a maximum pump then slip the band/ring on, immediately remove the VED and measure.

PS: the pre Peyronies Disease photo looks like it could display a little bit of Peyronies Disease unless it is camera prospective.

Best wishes your in good hands with Dr.Eid.If your like Hawk or me you'll be using it in a month from today yes by January 15  The first few days are tough but once the bruising goes away about a week to 10 days It starts to get better fast at three weeks you'll be trying it out by a month it will be very comfortable. Seasons greetings you'll be getting some wood to put under the tree not a bad present.
Dave

Welcome!  Please keep us posted.

Thanks guys for the warm welcome and the words of encouragement, means a lot and definitely needed right now. 
Hawk, per your suggestions I am adding some additional pics for documentation.  All of the length measurements are indeed bone pressed using a wooden ruler.  I have added BPSFL and girth at base, mid shaft and below the glans.  My BPEL and BPSFL are identical at 6.5".  The girth at base is 5 7/8", midshaft 5 1/2" and glans 4 7/8".  Interesting that I loose an inch of girth from base to tip.  That has definitely become more pronounced with the Peyronies.  I will definitely share these pics with Dr Eid as well.

Hey p-diddy! Welcome!!I have seen your posts before on the other board, but i could not reply because i was banned from the board way back in 2017 over almost nothing.  It was a sad day. I have to say that i appreciate immensely your attitude towards your problem. I also want to say that i relate. Greatly. I also fractured my penis during intercourse in 2014. Definitely not as severe as yours, but i had no surgical repair so it has been going slowly downhill since that time. I too hope to join the implantee's in the mid future so i will be eagerly awaiting for your progress updates.

I have many questions, but I am so short on time so I will definitely come back later on and write a proper post. Just wanted to thank you for joining in, quickly before i pass out in bed. Oh, and another thing we have in common is going to the gym, and training heavy, at least judging by your physique and i can only wonder up to what degree or not does having this procedure changes your routines at the gym...

I apologize if my English is a bit off. bye for now, and please stay with us!

My guess is you will immediately end up with a little more girth and you are already clearly above average.

Pfract, yes I do work out.  I do Crossfit, which is super intense four days per week.  This includes a lot of heavy Olympic style barbell lifting as well as all kinds of other movements and cardiovascular activities.  The potential impact on my workout, believe it or not, is my biggest hesitation for even doing this. I expect 4-6 weeks off and then getting back into it carefully.  I think this is a big concern for some of the "younger" guys so I will journalize my experience regarding working out post op.  It will definitely set me back in the gym but will give me some refreshed goals to work on when I return.  I know this might sound crazy to some but working out is a huge part of my life, probably more so than sex.  However, I'm not alone.  I have a beautiful, sexy wife and sex is important to US and is vital to having a healthy relationship.  Psychologically however, I'm doing the procedure for me.  She will love me regardless, but in order to be the best man I can be for me and her, I need to do this.  As you all know, ED affects every aspect of your life.  She tells me to do it for me, not for her.  It's like when she had a boob job, I said honey I love you regardless but if it makes you feel better than go for it! 
And Hawk, I hope you are right about the increase in girth, that would be nice.  At least to have even girth throughout.  I'm honestly fine with my size, I'm going into this for the purpose of preservation of what I already have, and hopefully not losing anything with surgery, and to have a firm, rigid, safe erection. I have to admit, my wife and I used to have some porn level sex which is probably why I broke my dick in the first place!  I think the Titan will be a good choice;)

P-Diddy,

Are you within driving distance of Dr. Eid or will you be staying in a hotel to recover for a few days?

In retrospect, this recovery is not bad BUT the first few days can throw you a curve as can the first several times you have to inflate.  I underestimated my first week.  I had read some guys that did not take a pain pill. ???  Laying flat all day the first few days was rough all by itself because it gave me a significant backache. 

Make sure your keyring model is with you in the tub for reference the first few times you inflate and deflate. 

When you start sitting, do yourself a huge favor and either have a cushion/pillow shaped like the letter "U" with a wide-open front or just get a bath towel, roll it up and arrange it like the letter "V".  The point of the "V" should be at your tailbone and each leg of the "V" under your hamstrings on each leg.  I am a little dull-witted and it took days of experimenting to conclude this was the best setup.  The worst was when I thought I would sit on a soft fluffy pillow.  As soon as my butt hit the pillow, the rest of the pillow poofed up on my scrotum, exactly what you do not want.  Your scrotum will clearly be the area of greatest discomfort.

Expect that your penis will seem somewhat inflated even when deflated in the beginning and when deflated you will be sticking out at a 4:00 O'clock angle.  As the swelling goes down and the cylinders soften all that takes care of itself.  It is natural to think there is no convenient or comfortable place to put your penis in the first few weeks.  Then you will realize it is day 21 and you can put it in your wife and all will be well. :)

In summary, I will tell you what I tell others.  Dr. Eid and time are going to fix you.  They are your best friends.  Dr. Eid is easy to like.  Time requires some patience in the first 3 weeks.  After that, it just starts to happen as you go about with your life.

I can't wait to hear your updates.

Hawk,
I live in Washington DC area, so NYC is technically driveable but we are flying up which takes about an hour.  My surgery is Wednesday and we are staying in the city until Saturday.  Given that time frame, will I go back to visit Dr Eids office for a post op or will he come by my hotel room?  Will he or a staff member activate me and show me how to work things before I leave? 
Regarding sitting, this is a concern because I am a dentist.  I sit during procedures in some rather awkward positions so this may be difficult for me.  I will likely have to use your suggested method for a while.  I did schedule the surgery over the holidays because I normally take some time off.  I'm taking 18 days off and will return to work Jan 7th.  Hopefully that gets me over the hump and I can get back to work reasonably well.  Of course taking all that time off, I will be busy as hell when I get back. 

I am 4 hours from Eid so I road home straight from recovery before the spinal wore off.  He will certainly be up for coming to your hotel if needed.  I did the first inflation/deflation at home alone on day 3.  If he does it and then asks you to repeat it you will definitely want a pain pill in you before you go.  Not excruciating but two inflation cycles on your scrotum will not be fun.  He might inflate and have you deflate because obviously knowing how to deflate is critical.  Inflating is far easier.

If you are required to sit a lot I would shop on the internet to find a good pillow with an open front.  Many look like the letter "C" with little in the way of opening but if you look you can find one that is shaped more like a "U".  It will just be less explaining as to why you keep arranging a towel on your chair.

Hey p-didy. Here are some of the questions I have been meaning to ask.

-did you knew about penile fractures before you had yours?
-did you deny having surgical repair, or it was not offered to you? normally with urethral injuries, doctors repair you right away, especially with blood coming out.
-are you afraid of having a urethral stricture?
-are you going to have a cysthoscopy done, to rule out urethral narrowing and fistulas? What did Dr Eidd say about it?
-did you have an ultrasound done after your injury? I am curious to know if you have an idea of your current blood flow values
-how do you cope mentally with the fear of refracturing it? Are you able to forget somehow, the moment where you felt the tear, and what came afterwards?

I hope I am not bothering you with so much questions, but I am hopeful you are able to reach back. Take care.

Quote from: pfract on December 17, 2018, 11:52:06 PM
-are you going to have a cystoscopy done, to rule out urethral narrowing and fistulas? What did Dr Eidd say about it?

I can answer this part of the question.  Dr. Eid performs a cystoscopy on every patient prior to surgery to make sure he is not going to run into an unexpected issue in the OR inserting a catheter.  So my guess that is part of the line-up of tomorrows pre-surgical visit.

My presurgical visit is today.  Dr Eid will do a cystoscopy and Doppler ultrasound to answer those questions.  Pfract, I do have concerns about the urethra injury as you mentioned. I'm glad that Dr Eid is doing these tests prior so I guess I will have a more thorough answer for you later today.
After my injury the urologist I saw didn't want to do anything and fortunately everything seemed to heal "fine". It was a very strange injury with an atypical presentation.  I had a severe traumatic bend during sex and it bled like a firehouse. It seemed that it tore the urethra but didn't exactly "fracture" the body of the penis. I had bruising but no swelling.  They did an ultrasound, not Doppler, at the time so didn't learn much from it. All they saw were plaques from the Peyronies.
And yes, it is still on my mind and my wife's mind and has definitely affected us both psychologically to the point that it is a real detriment to having sex.

Well, by this point P-Diddy most certainly has become a Bionic Brother and is a new Male 2.0 upgrade.  I trust that Dr. Eid has once more worked his magic and not it is mostly up to time to finish the process.  I am like an anxious parent waiting on a report.

Our thoughts are with you P-Diddy

Gentlemen,
I am indeed bionic!  Just got back to my hotel room, ice and pain meds on board, lying flat on my back.  Everything went very well. As a matter of fact the entire experience with Dr Eid, his staff, the surgical team and facility has been perfect and flawless. My wife and I can't speak highly enough of Dr Eid. His demeanor, patience and willingness to listen is unparalleled.  A truly unique physician. So far so good but now the hard part begins.  I am so thankful to have a loving, supportive and caring wife to help me through this. I also really appreciate the support from my brothers.
I was implanted with a 22cm Titan, which of course means no RTEs. I am happy with that. I would say the worst part of all of this was the cystoscopy at the preop visit. They use lidocaine in the urethra but it was a very uncomfortable feeling.  Good news was there was no evident damage or scarring of the urethra. He then did the injection and measurements. Got a pretty crappy erection and the process reminded why I have no interest in injections.  His measurements came up about a half inch shorter than mine but under the circumstances that's kind of expected I think. He said I'll probably be a 21 but maybe he could fit a 22. Last thing I said to him in the OR was go for that straight 22 if you can but I trust you to know what's best.
The other thing was during the Doppler I had a very pronounced venous leak. Excellent blood flow in but not holding during diastole. He showed me the waveform and explained what it meant. Otherwise the canvernosum was clear.
I had the procedure done at the Midtown Surgical Center. Yesterday Dr Eid told me that sometimes there, depending on who is doing anesthesia that I may not get a spinal and would get general instead.  I wasn't too pleased with that so woke up at the crack of dawn and called over there and informed them that I wanted to be sure to have a spinal. I got the spinal and all went great. I didn't pull a "Hawk" and stay awake.  My propofol sedation was nice and I have no grogginess or hangover whatsoever. I'll be changing my name from p-diddy to P-Daddy soon!
So for now I'm just relaxing.  I'll keep you guys updated:)

This is great news. So glad to hear things went well and you are relaxing.

Keep us updated

Stabler

So, since you are staying in Manhattan do you figure he will pull your catheter and inflate you before you come home or didn't you cover that yet?

I'll remove the catheter myself Saturday morning before leaving.  I don't plan on seeing him again so will do the inflate/deflate at home myself.

You'll have no problem.  Just have the keyring model with you in the tub and be sure you have oriented with the layout and can feel the deflate button before inflating.  I will be interested to see if the "one touch" feature works for you or if you have to hold the button in while squeezing the penis in the first few weeks.  I would bet money on the latter.

I didn't pull a hawk! Haha so nice everything went well. Congratulations! Best of luck on the recovery man

P-Diddy do you know what determined that your surgery was at Midtown rather than at the Manhattan Eye, Ear and Throat Hospital?

I think it depends on which day of the week. I guess on Wednesdays he operates at Midtown. It was a nice facility and people were very friendly and I was treated well.

Post op Day 1
It has been 24 hours since my surgery was completed. Not a whole lot to report. Bed rest flat on back, ice, pain meds on schedule, emptying catheter bag periodically.  Everything is wrapped up in the jock strap which is pretty comfortable. I haven't messed with anything down there and won't until I remove the catheter on day 3. I'm thinking it will be nice to have the catheter out.
Pain is manageable, about a 4 out of 10. The dilaudid definitely helps.  It is only really uncomfortable when I move or get up or cough. Keeping all those to a minimum although it does actually feel kind of good to stand up and walk a bit.
Been taking a laxative as well to hopefully stave off the constipation, no BM yet, kind of dreading that.
The Bentley hotel is great, we moved from our original room because they comped us an upgrade to a comer suite, thanks to my lovely wife working her magic.

DEFINITELY hit the stool softeners, and Milk of Magnesia.  I was on top of it before I even started the painkillers and still got constipation.  I knew from experience from a 30-day bout of kidney stones that painkillers do not agree with me.  There is nothing worse than being desperate and having to take an enema before you can pull the catheter because you don't want to deal with it after unbandaging. 

Glad to hear it went well!

Post op Day 2:
Slept quite well last night. No narcotics today with minimal pain. Just taking Tylenol and Motrin today.  I suspect this may change once I'm more active and start cycling. I was concerned about constipation from the narcs but that has proven not to be a problem. My bowels are actually moving a little too good this evening so I'm stopping the stool softeners. Everything is still bandaged up and haven't even looked down there yet.
Tomorrow morning will remove catheter before heading to airport to fly home.  Once at home will go for my first hot bath and start exploring.

Exciting stuff P-Diddy.  So far you are ahead of most of us in pain management so you are doing GREAT.  Hopefully, that holds through your travel home and beyond.

If you remove catheter tomorrow and fly home, you are going to be up a lot and not laying down any.  You might want to just enjoy the hot soak and not cycle until the next day.  It is no big deal.  You will know once you get home and in the tub. You are still cycling weeks and in some cases months ahead or patients with other doctors.  Do at least explore for the deflate button, however.

Just remember that the goal when lying in the tub is; to the degree possible, make your penis and scrotum the highest part of your body.  Of course, your face has to be out of the water or we will be burying a perfectly good implant :)   Also unless you have a huge tub your knees may be bent but do NOT sit up and elevate the trunk of your body.  It will cause your scrotum to swell.

I had a love/hate relationship with the hot baths.  The first one was awesome.  Then they start to sap you, especially in August.  I recommend a huge glass of ice water and some extra ice.  I would put a washcloth om my head and dribble ice water on it or even lay pieces of ice on it.  That and drinking ice water help off-set the hot soaks (2 or 3 a day) from wearing me down.

Also, I took a distraction.  For me, it was downloaded music and Bluetooth speaker to help pass the time.  Sometimes I would just say, I will stay inflated until one more song plays.  In the beginning that deflate button is more like an escape button and you literally count off the seconds until you can press it. 

Day 3:
So Day 3 has passed and it was interesting. We flew home this morning with the catheter in.  I was doing ok with it so I figured I'd leave it in instead of dealing with it this morning as we were rushing out for an early flight.
After pulling the catheter at home, I unbandaged and did the big reveal. I was surprised to see that I had a pretty firm 3 o'clock erection. The shaft wider than the glans. Could feel some lumps and bumps from the cylinders. Scrotum tight with the pump behind the testicles. No significant bruising or visible swelling. Nice clean incision line with easily visible stitches for me to remove in two weeks. I could probably have sex with the thing as is but it is still bendable but very hard to point down from base. I'm peeing normally and can get the pee in the toilet however.
I took a shower to just clean up after 3 days. Shortly after, I took a hot bath for 40 minutes. I started to explore. Can easily feel the pump and can locate the deflate button which is kind of behind and between the testicles, but it's kind of up there a bit getting into uncomfortable territory when I started squeezing on it. I thought maybe there is some fluid in the cylinders so before pumping up maybe I can hit deflate and squeeze a little out. The hard part is getting my finger on the opposite side of the deflate button, it's super tender and afterwards made my scrotum feel like it was on fire. So, for today I figured I'd leave it at that. Made some progress getting the lay of the land down there.
After that experience I had some questions/concerns so I texted the good Dr Eid. Within 5 minutes I had a very nice and thorough reply. The "erection" is edema and swelling and he left the cylinders empty, I didn't have an auto inflation. It is normal for the pump to be hard as a rock right now. Just continue hot baths and master the deflate button before inflating.
I'm sure some of these things are familiar to the many brothers that have gone before me. My biggest concern is that my scrotum will loosen up and I have enough room in there as I have a small scrotum to begin with. I feels like the pump is almost in the perineal area. I don't have much hang down there. Hopefully I didn't bruise myself too badly to make it hard for me tomorrow.
Overall, managing pretty well considering. It's early in the game with a long way to go.

You are doing great.  Time WILL work the rest of the magic.  We all have that 3 o'clock semi erection worthy of intercourse. It is swelling around the cylinders not fluid in them.  It is amazing how we all read this stuff before surgery but it does not register until we live it.

My pump poked out to the front like a finger in my scrotum.  It was also high.  I asked if I could pull it down and got a firm "NO".  It settled exactly where I wanted it in time.

A scrotum on fire is the classic main discomfort.  When you feel it just know it is as it should be and all is well.

PS: You and I have the identical 22 cm Titan implant from the same surgeon.

Thanks Hawk for the encouraging words.  Yes, I have read so many stories of guy's experiences and all of these things have been said but you're right, when it happens to you it's still a bit of a shock.  With my own patients in my profession I tell patients post surgically that it takes time to heal, just give it time, trust me.  Now I'm the patient, receiving the same advice... humbling.  This will make me a more empathetic and better doctor. 
Last night was first night at home and I slept for 11 hours!   
Oh and by the way, yes we have the same implant which is great for comparison purposes.  I know you have said it somewhere and we all have different internal/external ratios but what are your physical dimensions?

Quote from: p-diddy on December 23, 2018, 10:52:57 AM

Oh and by the way, yes we have the same implant which is great for comparison purposes.  I know you have said it somewhere and we all have different internal/external ratios but what are your physical dimensions?

After 4 months I am 7" BPEL and that is bone press very firmly.  3 weeks after surgery I was 6 1/4"  that was possibly affected by three things:
1. I could not press to bone quite as hard because of pain
2. I could not inflate quite as many pumps due to pain
3. I have regained some of 1 5/8" I lost

Dr. Eid promised me "6 1/4" or slightly more"  That is by his way of measuring which is less aggressive than my method.  I measure max pressure because that is the only way I know I am being consistant from time to time.

My girth 5 1/16 midshaft - 5 1/4" at base.  That is a 1/8" to 1/4" bigger than pre-op but it has not increased since week 2 or 3.

He promised me 6 inches, but I'll say after that scope and then the injection, my dick was not in the mood for getting up so to speak.  I shared with him my photos and measurements and he took that into consideration as well.  Also, on the operating table under spinal he probably gets a really good max stretch.  I always consistently measured at 6.5 inches.  He originally said he was thinking 21cm but maybe could get a 22 in.  He said he was "happy" with the 22 at time of surgery.  I'm just hoping he didn't "oversize" me.  I trust his judgement when it comes to pushing the envelop though.  I remember in Merrix's journal how he talked a lot about that because Eid pushed the envelop with him on size, but it all worked out fine. 
Either way, it's cool to have you as a little mini-experiment/comparison to go by.  In my mind, the ideal outcome would be 6.5 x 5.5 in.  We shall see. 

I never got erect from the injection until I was starting to leave the office.  When he measured me I was not half erect but he dis a stretched flaccid measurement as well which usually matches erect length.  I had to drive through Manhattan and for hours on the interstate with the biggest raging erection I had experienced in a decade and it lasted so long I called him because I was beginning to get concerned.  He suggested vigorous exercise but I was hesitant to pull over on the interstate and do side-straddle-hops on the shoulder of the highway with a raging erection. :)

Hey p-didy! Nice to hear you are recovering well. I am also wondering how are you and hawk going to be in terms of measurements, considering you have the same size implant, from the same doctor, like it was said here already. I don't mean in anyway to make you feel uncomfortable or push you towards this matter, but I have my fingers crossed you are willing to share some photos, here and there, of these early stages of recovery, until you start cycling and are cleared for intercourse.

It would be amazing, considering the data we have from several parts of your penis before surgery. Please keep us posted!

Day 4:
CYCLING SUCCESS!!!  In the hot bath tonight, I located the deflate button, pushed it with my right index finger and thumb opposing, squeezed my shaft and it deflated from where I was left post operatively.  Confident that I could deflate, I used a washcloth for grip, grabbed the bulb with my right thumb and index finger and pumped.  Got some good pumps, at least halfway, for 15-20 pumps until I had a nice straight erection with no folds or bumps.  Held it there for a few minutes, didn't really hurt, then deflated fully and pumped up again.  Did this a total of three times.  I definitely could have pumped some more but didn't want to push it the first time.  I just wanted to make sure I could do it without getting myself into any trouble. 
With that accomplished, tomorrow I will start to push the envelop a little more and hold it for longer.  Without getting too confident, I can say that was almost easy.  Way easier than I expected and my scrotum is a little sore but not on fire like yesterday.  I am excited and optimistic.  I can do this and its only going to get better!! 
I have followed doctors orders to the letter both pre and post op.  Also, I can't believe how little swelling I have and virtually no bruising.  It's incredible.  From what I have seen to this point Dr Eid is a true master.  Not just surgically but also in his patient management and relationship skills.  I feel truly fortunate. 
The only "negative' is the feel of the penis in the deflated state.  It has all kinds of kinks and such from the cylinders and it is "squeaky" feeling from the plastic in the cylinders.  I realize that will improve with time but just an observation. 
Also, there was definitely some fluid in those cylinders post op because I've got it much more deflated now. 
Pfract, my stated goal from the start was to document from pre op to post op and beyond.  I will start taking and posting pics tomorrow, along with measurements, now that I feel confident that I can cycle.  I will also try to write my posts in a more standardized format so it will be easy to follow progress. 
Looking forward to what tomorrow brings!

Congratulations, catheter out, cycling initiated.  I can tell you are ahead of me in this process.  I would say you are ahead of me, Merrix, And Floppy at this point in the process.  I had no bruising or swelling to speak of but I could have never pumped up twice in a session.  My scrotum was in enough distress I would pump a few pumps and rest a couple minutes then pump a few more times.

My only suggestion is to only pump once per session.  The main goal is a constant stretch on the scar capsul that will form on around the cylinders so pump up as tight as you can and hold for 20 minutes.  This will greatly help to ensure maximizing size.

Also when you deflate, deflate as much as possible to ensure the reservoir capsul does not scar in smaller that the resivoir capacity.

I am VERY interested in knowing if you can clearly continue to deflate after releasing the deflate button or if you have to continue to hold the deflate button down with one hand.while squeezing the penis with the other hand.

Hawk,
Advice taken.  I cycled a few times tonight to practice the feeling before I go pushing it.  Definitely going to be doing the max pump and hold method starting tomorrow.
As for deflate, I definitely got the cylinders pretty much depleted.  Especially compared to where it was. 
I held the button the whole time just because I didn't want to let go and have to do it again.  I will make a point to see if I can do the push and release method in the future. 
If I'm ahead of the game, then I have to give credit to you guys because I learned a lot from you:)

Thank you P-Diddy! indeed, one of the most important things as pointed out would be deflating as best as possible on these early stages. I remember reading upon a few guys back at FT where they could not get fully deflated later on, and always seemed to have fluid in.

One quick point about folded cylinders and total deflation.  In the early weeks, the Titan cylinders are especially unnatural in a totally deflated state.  Your penis can be made to look like a half-empty tube of toothpaste that has been squeezed in the middle.  You will likely feel uncomfortable corners at the folds or bends referred to as "dog ears".  This improves significantly in time because of 3 reasons.
1. As you gain some erect length you also gain corresponding deflated or flaccid length reducing the folds to some degree

2. The cylinders are hydrophilic and actually absorb fat which means they become softer and smoother feeling with time.

3. The capsule around them just toughens up

All of this is a gradual process that progresses slowly.  Number 2 probably progresses for several months, maybe a year or more. 

One of the best resources anywhere on the internet that anyone can read, especially if you are a patient of Dr. Eid with a Titan is Merrix's Journal posted above in the Penile Implant Boards Highlights.

The importance of pumping to as much as you can stand twice a day is key. The first two weeks is when the pseudo capsule is formed. There are a lot of discussions on this subject on the boards. This scar tissue if left alone will reduce the room for the expansion of the cylinders resulting in less than optimal size this is true for the reservoir as well. The more you pump till it is hard as a rock the better even if the pain is to much to take for 20 minutes getting the stretch for ten minutes will be better than not going to max after a few days you will notice that you can get in more pumps and hold it longer. iI gets better each week by week three its almost painless and usable. The reservoir forms a capsule as well and if it stays full, empty cylinders it is much less likely to auto inflate.. After your fully deflated give the pump a quick squeeze to reset the check valve. This will keep the reservoir full and the cylinders empty when your not cycling after a week or two I tried to not reset the pump and most of the time I had a little back flow but now I don't bother to re set it most of the time. Some people say it makes the pump easier to pump the first pump I have not noticed that. My first pump is always stiff them easy after that.

Post op Days 5 and 6,
Merry Christmas brothers.  Hopefully it was a wonderful time with family and significant others.  The last two days have been overall pretty good.  Pain has been mild to moderate but very manageable with Motrin/Tylenol.  I did take a narcotic before getting in bath tonight just because things are pretty tender in the scrotum with all the pumping going on.  This is my third day of cycling.  I have been taking 40 minute baths and keeping it pumped for 20-25 minutes. While inflated I work it from side to side and up and down to kind of stretch around the base.  I start with 5 pumps, wait a couple of minutes, add 10 more, wait a few then add 5 and then another 5.  So, I'm getting a total of 25 pumps.  These are partial pumps, not completely wall to wall but hopefully as things soften I'll be able to get more squeeze.  Maybe I could get more but I definitely feel the tension and discomfort so I think I'm accomplishing what I'm supposed to be doing at this point.  Plus, I was able to start cycling early so I've got a good jump on it.  Each day I'll just try to push a little more. 
As for measurements, I am exactly 6 inches BPEL as compared to 6.5 pre-op.  Dr Eid measured me at six with the injection and stretch.  I think there are a couple of reasons at this point.  First, there is ZERO arousal and no glans involvement.  I'm hoping that since I had glans engorgement pre-op that I will have at least some post surgically.  Also, not too sure about the bone press, still sore around the reservoir area so maybe not getting the same reference.  Girth I am at 5 1/8 inches mid shaft.  Pre-op I was at 5 1/2 inches.  Again, maybe related to lack of arousal, I don't know.  I know before, my urethra kind of "potbellied" underneath.  Now it doesn't so I lack some of the roundness and the penis is a bit wider and flatter.  So presently I'm about 1/2 inch short on length and 3/8 inch less on girth.  This is with no arousal and time will tell if that makes a difference or it things will change.  My erection angle is at about 2:30.  Pumped up it's definitely hard and straight though. 
So far the flaccid state is no fun.  Lots are folds, lumps and bumps.  I know you guys say with time that improves but it's hard to believe.  My "flaccid" hang is about 3:30.  I can push it down to 5:00 but it's kind of uncomfortable to do that.  I'm not sure which is the best way to pack it at this time, up, down or sideways. 
As for the deflate, I'm pretty much having to hold the button down the whole time.  Not too big a deal for me at this point.  I'm just glad I can get it to deflate.  I keep having this fear that I'm going be suddenly not be able to press the button and get stuck with a painful erection.  Fortunately, the pump has been pretty easy to operate, its just sore as hell down there right now.  Everyone says that gets better so I'll take your word for it. 
I've attached some photos of erection with some measurements.  The quality isn't great but it's really kind of hard getting these shots by myself soaking wet. 
Tomorrow will be one week, woo-hoo!! I just hope for a continued smooth recovery.  I'm still taking things very easy, no physical activity, just resting and lying down most of the time.  I've got the next two weeks off so I'm going to take it slow and focus on recovery. 

Good report P-diddy.  I think part of your "loss of size" is that you are cautious about both shoving the ruler hard against the pubic bone and cautious about pumping until the pump ball does not want to collapse anymore.  Obviously, if you could squeeze another pump then you are not fully pumped by definition.  Sometimes it is best to save those last few pumps for late in the soak until you get to the point you can tolerate them sooner.  When I felt I was fetting to full inflation I would often try another pump or two right before I deflated just to see if there was more capacity there.

I am not sure why you are wiggling or wobbling your inflated penis side to side or up and down.  I would NOT do that, especially at this stage.  I think that I am correct in saying that will put stress on the crus.  You want that portion of the implant capsule to scar in very snugly.  Part of the implant that is back in that area is non-inflatable.  It is much like a fencepost in the ground.  If you go out and wobble that post before the earth compacts around it you will get minor play at the base.  The problem is, a little play at the base translates into significant wobble and instability further out at the top or the pole (or dick).  As Merrix chronicles at some length and what I find to be true is that as your deflated/flaccid angle drops, your erect angle drops correspondingly.  Ideally, you do not want an erection that is hard as a rock but points down to 4:00 O'clock.  I would wear my penis pointing up for the next few weeks OR if pointed down, point it out and down, not down at the base.  You want it to come straight out from the crus, then 1" from the body point down to the scrotum and maybe even bent back around the bottom of the scrotum like the letter "J".  I think it is imperative not to put any downward pressure on the crus at this point.

If you exit the body upward or straight out it does not matter what you do from that point.  I never wore my penis straight down until my implant.  I got the idea from Merrix.  If you come out, then down (hinging it 1/2" - 1" out from the body, then down, then pull up a tight brief or jock strap it does not tug down of the crus portion but it does form a hang to your penis and tends to help keep it deflated from the pressure.  It might be too early for this to be comfortable.  If so, wear it up.

Hawk,
All good points and thank you. As for the moving the penis side to side, in the written post op pumping instructions he says to pump it till its hard as a marble and then rock the shaft side to side and up and down and then try to pump some more.  That's what I was referring to.  I can totally see where doing that could be moving the mailbox post around before the concrete sets so point well taken. Tomorrow I will pump until I can't get the pump to move anymore and see how that goes because I have yet to pump it to hard as a marble. That should be fun!
I guess my concern about wearing the penis up is that it might affect flaccid hang later. Right now it's hard to know because everything is still pretty stiff and sore.

Quote from: p-diddy on December 26, 2018, 12:23:57 AM
I guess my concern about wearing the penis up is that it might affect flaccid hang later. Right now it's hard to know because everything is still pretty stiff and sore.

This takes trust, but you could wear your penis up day and night for the next two years and your flaccid hang would be the same at the end of two years as it would be wearing it down.  That hang is a slow process of :
1. reduction of swelling - Even deflated your penis and surrounding tissue is full of fluid
2 - The softness of the cylinders - this is a slow breaking in of the natural rigidity that is broken in by maximum stretching inflating and the slow process of the fat permeating the hydrophilic coating.

which direction you wear your penis has NOTHING to do with the softness of the cylinders or the rate the cylinders soften.  Your cylinders are currently stiff with well-defined folding points that let it bend up or down at those folds.  It will take you 2 months to see the cylinders significantly soften and it will take a year at least before they reach their maximum.

(or as the moderator on another forum would explain,  (non-sensically) " you will have a perpetual hard-on because you have a Titan")   ;)

Thank you for posting these pictures p-diddy! Again, means a lot to me that you are sharing this and I am sure other members will appreciate it too. I will pretty much second what hawk said, and can't stress enough the part about pumping till max and holding on for as much as you can. Please follow hawk's advice on this. ✌

P-diddy,  I don't want to beat a dead horse as the expression goes, but my late Christmas post might not have been clear enough.  If you compare your current hang of 3:30 O'clock with the other journals, you will see you are where we all were.  None of us had to force our penis down (especially while pumped or partially pumped).  I am 4 1/2 months post-op.  I am very content with my deflated angle and cylinder softness even if it never improved from here but it will.  At your stage and even at 10 days post -op when I got my stitches out I thought I would never improve because it seemed stuck at that angle.  Have confidence time will fix everything and give you a perfect implant.

If you really want to bend it down then do so BUT out and then down so no downward pressure is on the crus.  Going out and down with tight briefs will give you a more natural looking hang for 30 minutes when you first take off your briefs because the cylinders are shaped to your scrotum.  It does nothing however in softening or permanently shaping the cylinders. Remember, there are only two ways to get a downward hang.   1. Is the combination of cylinders softening and all trace of swelling getting better.  It is hard to speed that up except with hot baths and maximum pumping.  2. Is loosening the capsule around the supporting, stabilizing crus.  That must be guarded against unless you want a downward pointing erection.

If you choose to wear your penis down, always check to make sure all the downward bend happens outside the body and the all pressure on the cylinders at the point of entry into the body is up and back.  I hope this makes sense.

Hey guys, thanks for the advice and reassurance.  I will definitely heed that advice!  And for what its worth, I actually have a couple of pics of my deflated state as of yesterday as well. 

looking good.  It is nice to show the utter lack of any visible trauma to the penis less than a week out of surgery.  Your angle looks good for this point in the process.  Can you squeeze enough fluid out to make your penis look distorted like a squeezed toothpaste tube?  If not then a good portion of the issue is swelling around the cylinders.  I can lock open my deflate valve the squeeze my penis with both hands in multiple grips, including the portion that goes back into the body, even bending it double and squeezing and end up with a "collapsed penis" that looks much like a half full toothpaste tube that has flat areas, some ridges etc.  In my case, it does not stay that way long.  If I don't lock out the valve I will get some seepage of fluid backflowing and maybe even some natural expansion from blood flow that fills it back out within 30 minutes or so.

Yes I can squeeze it out in the tub where it looks dented and distorted but I do seem to get a little bit of refill with time.  How hard or much do you press the pump to lock it out.  When I do the lock out squeeze, I can feel just a bit of fluid go back into the penis so I have assumed this is enough to achieve lockout. As for the bending and folding thing it's still a bit sore to do that.

I agree,!  Bending it in half seemed forever away at your point.

How hard do you have to press and lock out the famously misnamed "One-Touch" you ask.  For me, the answer was harder than I could humanly squeeze for almost 3 months and I will put my grip strength up against almost anyone even near my age.  The Titan deflate button is so small and so slightly raised above its surrounding platform that the problem is not just the strength of the squeeze.  It is centering and focusing the squeeze on the button in such a way that the flesh of your finger does not bottom out on the surrounding platform before the button is sufficiently depressed.  I finally worked with depressing the button with the hard bonier side of the first knuckle of the index finger AND sometimes getting my other hand in there to try to increase the squeeze.  It is also key to hold it for at least a couple seconds, not just a quick squeeze.

There is no consensus on this.  I think Floppy had his locking out in a week or less.  Others never have and continue the one hand for the deflation button and the other to squeeze.  I was on a quest to master this since everything else had been achieved.  I saw it more as an absolute challenge than a necessity.  I actually pulled an eraser out of a new pencil to see if I could use it to more effectively center my force right on the button.  That was useless.  I then considered putting a sewing thimble on my index finger but never really tried that.  Finally, I used two hands and turned my finger so I could depress with the side of my first knuckle.  I wanted to go celebrate when I first got it.  I still do not find it really easy to do but I get it on the first try about 80% of the time.

One word of caution, I am not sure if you have yet experienced the pump getting away from your grip and shooting out like you were playing marbles.  It is not pleasant but in addition, I think and have read that it puts stress on the Titan's weak point, (the tubing).  This is actually more prone to happen to me trying to deflate than it is pumping because deflation takes a harder less controlled squeeze.  I always trail a finger down the opposite side to kind of trap the pump bulb and keep it from flying out of my hand.  It is good to hold the pump as steady as possible during pumping and deflating to reduce stress on the tubing, at least that is my theory based on what I have heard.

Just looking one wouldn't even suspect you had surgery!

There is always some irony and humor to be found in any situation. Today marks the one week milestone since my surgery. Generally when I'm in the tub soaking and inflating I have music streaming to pass the time. As I was pumping the implant up today, the song "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie came on, appropriate. A couple of minutes later after I'm inflated I hear the line "Know it sounds funny but I just can't stand the pain" from the song "Easy Like Sunday Morning" by Lionel Ritchie. Finally after 20 minutes as I'm ready to hit the deflate button after max inflation the song "You Make a Grown Man Cry" by the Stones comes on! Felt like crying but I just had to laugh!

P-diddy,

Thank you for todays post, it made me laugh and I needed it. Its good to hear everything is going so well for you.

Stabler

pdiddy, you made me laugh too. Awesome for only a week!! Apply some pressure in the perineal area, you can do that with the squeeze your dick or squeeze the valve hand by just cocking your hand a bit, and it will squeeze out more fluid for a better flaccid. Hit the pump bulb 1 time to lock it.  Over time your flaccid will really improve. 20 months and 25 days out today, I was impressed trying on new christmas underwear today at how really my flaccid now is. Laying down, my dick now lays down on my thigh or hangs down over my balls like a wet string. Cheers man. What a wonderful gift.

@pdiddy: LOL hopefully i'll have that much fun inflating my toy  8)

Day 8- Observations at one week post op

Well I'm over a week past implantation now so I thought I would try to organize some thoughts and observations.  I started cycling in hot baths on day 4 and have done so twice per day since. 

SIZE:  This of course is always the biggest concern right?  I presently have post op measurements of 6 in length and 5 1/8 in girth.  This compares to 6.5 x 5 1/2 in pre-op.  The post op measurement is with no arousal, actually the opposite of arousal due to discomfort.  The pre-op best measurements were after VED manual pumping and masturbating to porn and measuring at peak.  This would not be a realistic assessment of my size during actual intercourse. 

SHAPE:  My erect penis is very straight and hard.  At present I haven't experienced it in an "aroused" state.  The erect penis is wider and flatter compared to pre-op.  I don't have the prominent urethral belly during erection.  This is either due to the spongiosum surrounding urethra not engorging or the urethra is being squeezed between the inflated cylinders.  Ideally, I'm hoping to get some blood flow/engorgement of the spongiosum and glans during sexual arousal later in the healing process.
The flaccid penis is more of a concern at this point.  It's at about 3:30 which I expect to change over time as previously discussed above.  I can definitely feel the folds inside the shaft and it hangs to the left from the base.  I can feel the tubing as it goes into the reservoir as I am very lean. It's almost as if the reservoir and tubing have kind of pushed the base of the penis to the right so it comes off my body at a weird angle.  I can feel a slight buldge at the reservoir and it is still tender.  When fully deflated the penis feels plastic and "squeaky" when I manipulate it.  Also, my urine stream is different, sometimes turbulent and weaker, like the cylinder folds are causing constrictions and irregularities inside the urethra. 
I am keeping the penis pointed up.  It naturally bends about 1/3 the way up from the base.  It wants to bend and hang left but I'm trying to keep it up. 
There is no bruising or visible swelling-  hard to believe I had surgery a week ago, one would never know aside from he stitches

PUMP:  The pump sits behind the testicles in the bottom of my scrotum.  I have a small, tight scrotum and the pump is larger than either testicle (thanks to testosterone therapy, plus I never really had big balls to start with). However, it is accessible without too much trouble.  The base of the pump sits kind of back towards perineum and it leans forward so that the stalk where the tubing and deflate button are a little more forward kind of under and between the testicles.  I can easily access the deflate button as it is more less to the front.  It's a little difficult getting my opposing finger on the depression opposite the deflate button as it pointing slightly backward and is in a little more tender area.  Aside from the soreness, inflating and deflating isn't too difficult and I expect with time the soreness will decrease, the pump with soften, hopefully my scrotum will be a bit more accommodating and it will just get easier over time. 
The deflate button to date pretty much requires me to compress it the whole time while I squeeze the shaft.  It hurts.  When I get a what I think is the best deflate I can, my penis looks deformed.  I hit the pump again to "reset" the valve.  It still seems like I get just a little fluid back in the penis afterward because its not as deformed.  I'm taking Alibabas advice and trying to squeeze the perineum area as well. 

PAIN:  I have not experienced what I would call severe pain during any part of this. No more than a 4 or 5 out of 10 at worse. It's just been a general sense of soreness, discomfort, pressure and awareness.  Days 5 and 6 were a bit more uncomfortable as I started getting more active.  I have still been resting most times and haven't been going out doing things.  The most severe pain is during cycling.  That can get up in the 8/10 range.  I have kept pain meds to a minimum, mostly relying on 600mg of Ibuprofen and 1000mg Tylenol a few times a day.  I have taken narcotics prior to getting into tub for cycling.  The shaft and tip of my penis and scrotum around pump are sore but only in that dull achy, annoying kind of way.  Today, day 8, is the least painful day so far. 

CYCLING: Twice per day.  40 minute baths.  I have been getting 30-32 pumps in max.  Hard to quantify because they have been partial pumps but this morning I was definitely able to get fuller squeezes per pump.  Pumping until I can't squeeze anymore.  During the last couple of minutes before deflate doing a couple of "top off" pumps to make sure I'm at max.  Pain tolerance is a limiting factor, feels like my dick is going to explode.  I have to keep telling myself this is only the first week.  I feel fortunate to be able to have started cycling so early.  Each day I will try to do a little more than the previous day. 

PSYCHOLOGY:  Basically how do I feel about everything emotionally?  I haven't had any outright, WTF have I done freak out moments but I definitely have those moments where I still can't believe I have done this and question whether is was the right decision.  When you first feel the penis deflated it is very apparent that things will never be the same again.  Initially it feels so artificial and strange.  Struggling though the pain of cycling is hard.  But when in inflated it is obvious that I will have a very functional and hard penis.  My wife has been incredibly supportive and positive with this.  I have maintained a positive and optimistic attitude.  My two biggest concerns are:

1.  Will my wife enjoy having sex with me and my new dick.  I just hope she isn't "disappointed" in it.  I love pleasing her more than anything.  I know its going to work for me, I just hope it works for her.  My own conclusion in this, thinking ahead, is that she loves me and not just my dick.  It's how confident I am about myself, and my abilities, that turn her on the most.  I can rock her world in so many ways, intercourse is the just the icing on the cake.  But I intend on icing that cake well!

2.  How this device interferes with daily activities, that is work and gym.  I thing I'll be ok at work.  May have to make some modifications on my sitting and positioning for a bit but not too worried there.  My biggest concern is the gym.  I am an avid Crossfitter which, if you know nothing about it, is one of the most intense workout programs on the planet.  So much of it involves core, squatting, hip drive etc.  I fear that I may not be able to do many of the movements necessary due mostly to the pump in the scrotum and the reservoir in the pubic area.  This would be the most devastating thing of all for me.  Regardless, I'm not even thinking of trying to work out for a minimum of 4 weeks, likely 6 weeks.  It's a tough call as to whether which is more important to me, sex or the gym.  They actually are the two pillars of my mental and physical self esteem. 

Looking forward, next milestones are continuing to cycle and improve pumping with hopefully a gradual decrease in pain.  Suture removal in one week, I'll do myself.  And then that magical day 21, will I be ready to attempt sex.  That's a whole two weeks away, eternity, but will be here in the blink of an eye, so I will just worry about tomorrow, one day at a time.  Overall, I'm very pleased to be where I am at only one week post-op!

Hey P-Diddy! Thank you for another very detailed update.

Size: I'd say you are not too far off from what i have seen on this board, and with a proper implant insertion. I take it that you are feeling your tips all the way up in the glans? I'd say that when you are cleared for intercourse and fully healed after three months, with no swealling of any kind is when you are going to haven exact idea. It would be nice to then take a picture, similar to the one where you are erect pre-fracture, that shows that slight bend underneath it and put it side by side with this new pic of you implanted, and inflated.

shape: I don't have much to add, except i am of the opinion of having your penis up too. It used to be a recommendation back a few years ago, from doctors to help with the erection angle, supposedly.  I found it interesting your remark on the folks affecting the urethra. I remember reading about some guys on FT saying that with a certain inflation level they would have trouble ejaculating, as if the implant was restricting the urethra. Could it affect it somehow? Makes me wonder too...

pump: you mention the penis looks deformed when you deflate to the max. I'd say that is normal, based on what i have read and seen on Merrix's Diary. You can definitely see an odd shaped curve, on his deflated penis on one of the pics. Compared to "my flaccid penis". But can you notice he has an implant, or some sort of device inside his penis? no.

Quote
2.  How this device interferes with daily activities, that is work and gym.  I thing I'll be ok at work.  May have to make some modifications on my sitting and positioning for a bit but not too worried there.  My biggest concern is the gym.  I am an avid Crossfitter which, if you know nothing about it, is one of the most intense workout programs on the planet.  So much of it involves core, squatting, hip drive etc.  I fear that I may not be able to do many of the movements necessary due mostly to the pump in the scrotum and the reservoir in the pubic area.  This would be the most devastating thing of all for me.  Regardless, I'm not even thinking of trying to work out for a minimum of 4 weeks, likely 6 weeks.  It's a tough call as to whether which is more important to me, sex or the gym.  They actually are the two pillars of my mental and physical self esteem. 

This part right here is the one that has gotten me the most curious about your journey. I don't do crossfit, even though i would like too, but i do bodybuilding. Deadlifts and squats aplenty, along with leg press. For this account, I remember reading merrix was an Avid gym goer too. He was also pretty lean like you. I am sure you will be able to find it in his diary, but i remember reading that he said it made no difference for him the implant. Hopefully you will be in the same boat. I add that there is definitely not that much data on young people, that lift heavy stuff, are physically in great shape, and on top of this exercise regularly. :fingerscrossed:

Great, well written report P-didy

While it might take a full 3 months for a few very specific moves, I am completely confident that your physical activity will not be compromised in the least.  Merrix does very heavy squats.  Others ride competitive trail bikes.  After 6 weeks, lunges and all other exercises were without any negative sensations EXCEPT for Bulgarian Split Squats.  The one leg forward put some strain on the reservoir area.  It was not pain but it was enough to tell me I was still healing.  It took 3 months to totally go away.  I only tested it from time to time.  I did not incorporate that move until it felt normal.

I think the totally deflated penis will always feel implanted but a little less so with time.  I often wake up too early.  I automatically put my hand on my penis when I wake up.  I will lay in bed for 30 minutes deciding if I can go back to sleep.  I often literally play with the cylinders, messaging and depressing the dog ears on the folds.  They are way more soft than 2 months ago.  They are also less "squeaky" but on some occasions I can manage to make them make a slight audible sound. I doubt another person could hear but my dog will cock her head lol.  -  I am utterly unconcerned with any of this.  As long as I look good flaccid and I am pretty much indistinguishable erect, I am very happy.

The folds altering urine stream is something I experienced and still do to a lesser degree.  It varies from no effect to moderate effect depending on the degree of deflation and how I packed my penis in my pants prior to urinating. 

I actually use two hands on the last few pumps to get maximum inflation.  Dr. Eid assured me I cannot over pump.  I no longer do daily cycling.  I can't see the point.  I never thought I would say this but I don't really care if my penis is a 1/4" longer.  Mentally, before surgery I wanted to break over 6 1/2" as some arbitrary length.  I was promised over 6 1/4".  I am at 7".  It was an obsession when I was using traction.  I surpassed my best hopes so I am good even though I am at least a full inch less than in my prime.  I would cycle daily if I thought I could get more girth but girth has been pretty static.

Thanks for the feedback guys.  Very encouraging.  Pfract, yes I should have stated the cylinder tips extend well into the glans, there is no doubt Dr Eid got them placed in an ideal position. Probably less than a centimeter from the tip. 
Also, as far as being young and active, I feel like one of the few who have documented the journey.  Merrix journal was excellent on this and he does talk about working out etc.  Fortunately for him he was able to resume his normal activities with time.  TIME, that damn word, it keeps coming up.  If there is one universal piece of advice that is given to all the newbies from the veterans its, "give it time, it will get better". In a few months I hope to be one of those vets, dispensing the same advice to a guy like me :)

Hawk,
My project for the day is to go back and read through your journal as well.  I read it a while back but I think reading it now will be very helpful :)

I agree that it is MUCH easier to relate when you are living the experience ;)   I had to do the same with Merrix' journal after I had my implant.

Great post and entry for day 8.  Sounds like you're doing great and will improve w time.  For me, the scrotum pain when trying to inflate was the most uncomfortable but now after 3 months there is absolutely no pain w inflating.  It's Natural to worry about how our partners will react, but I suspect you're wife is going to be VERY pleased!  As far as your flaccid feeling normal that took some time for me.  It also helps to maintain a couple of pumps in the flaccid state...but I didn't dare this until after 3 months as I didn't want the encapsulation around the reservoir to be too small.  I just saw my doc this week and we discussing the coloplast is made of a medical grade plastic and sometimes squeaks as you mentioned.  I wonder if this decreases w time if the hydrophilic coating absorbs human tissue w time?  Thanks for the update!

Quote from: TonySa on December 28, 2018, 03:21:01 PMIt also helps to maintain a couple of pumps in the flaccid state...but I didn't dare this until after 3 months as I didn't want the encapsulation around the reservoir to be too small.  I just saw my doc this week and we discussing the coloplast is made of a medical grade plastic and sometimes squeaks as you mentioned.  I wonder if this decreases w time if the hydrophilic coating absorbs human tissue w time?  Thanks for the update!

I agree with the "few pumps but waiting at least 3 months" to do that.  I follow Merrix's method.  I push the deflate button now and never squeeze my penis.  It goes down when it goes down as far as it wants to go down and I don't squeeze once to lock it out.  If I bend it down to my scrotum then hike up my tight briefs it actually lifts the base of my penis so there is no downward pressure on the crus.  It also deflates it.  In the event, it got a little too full, which it doesn't,  just give it a quick squeeze since it is not locked out.  I am very happy with all aspects of this.

I am very interested in this statement Tony " we discussing the Coloplast is made of a medical grade plastic and sometimes squeaks as you mentioned. "  Aren't they all made from medical grade plastic?  What is the alternative; recycled plastic, toy grade, food container grade ??  :)

It does become much more slippery along with becoming softer.  I can still get a little squeak out of mine when it is deflated if I try hard but I have to try.  Also, my Jack Russell Terrier likes it.  I just hope she doesn't decide to kill it and totally destroy it some night while I am sleeping like she does all her squeak and tug-toys.  :(   

AMS is made of silicone.

I do a lot of rugged outdoor activities. Most my wife does not approve of, some my doctors cannot believe I am capable of, but my implant does not limit any of them. I do try to limit anything that can cause an accidental implant to my penis which you will be very aware of for a while. It still happens sometimes and is uncomfortable but then it always was.  It takes time but you will get where you want to be. I read your progress as outstanding. Cheers man, keep doing well.

Hey p-didy! How are you coming along since last update?

Pfract, thanks for asking, I was just getting around to it!  Hope everyone had a Happy New Year.  I managed to get out to a NYE party and had a good time at day 12 post op.  As of yesterday, I'm at 2 weeks post op.  I, with the help of my wife, removed the sutures yesterday with no trouble.  The healing is remarkable with no evidence of an incision.  I also finished the last dose of antibiotics thank goodness because they made me feel kind of nauseous.  I have been cycling twice daily in a hot bath since day four.  I usually take a 40 minute bath while ramping up the inflation to max over 20-25 minutes.  I am getting 30-35 pumps in.  As time goes on, with the initial 20-25 pumps I am getting fuller pumps.  The first ten squeezes kind of still burn but after that they don't.  The deflate is a little more difficult as I have to hold that button down and squeeze as much as I can but all in all not too bad.  I will say these two weeks while not a nightmare, have been pretty tough, definitely taken its toll on me. 
I do have some concerns at the two week point.  I actually texted Dr Eid this morning with some questions and concerns.  Haven't heard back yet but I'm sure I will soon. 

1.  The Pump:  it is still quite present and uncomfortable in my scrotum.  I think it is basically well positioned but I have a tight, small scrotum so there just isn't a lot of room in there.  The pump is the biggest thing in my scrotum.  It is positioned behind the testicles, slightly to the right and below to the extent that my sack allows.  It kind of sits at 45 degree angle with the pump posterior and lower and the stalk and deflate button angled up and forward more between the testicles.  The pump is concealed behind my testicles but is a very prominent hard ball that pushes toward my perineum and kind of chafes my scrotum between my legs.  The pump pushes my testicles forward which gives them more prominence.  I have a constant sort of low grade ache like I got kicked in the balls.  So, not sure where this is going.  I think I'd rather have one testicle and have the pump replace the second one.  I'm on testosterone therapy anyway so I don't really need them both!  Right now it feels kind of like I have a golf ball between my legs.

2. Dog ears and flaccid bend:  I have a significant flaccid bend to the left from the base and a lot of dog ear-ing at the base as it enters my body on the right side.  This seams to be causing the left bend.  My flaccid "hang" is approaching 4:00 with a good deflate but it really bends left.  When inflated it is very straight with no dog ears.  Will see what time does here.

3. Reservoir:  More prominent then I thought it would be.  Still kind of tender, can feel it and see it.  I am very lean.  Hoping there is still some inflammation and this will become less of an issue but I have a feeling that because of my body type this may be something I just have to put up with.  This bothers me mostly because one of my favorite lifts is the snatch which involves a barbell hitting in the pubic area.  I have a feeling I may never be able to snatch again.

4. Urination:  This has been kind of weird.  The implant has affected my urine stream.  It is weaker and erratic.  The sensation in my bladder telling me I need to urinate feels different, starting urination is harder.  I sense that the folds in the deflated implant are creating pressure points in my urethra and possible there is inflammation around the bladder and perhaps the prostate as well due to the procedure.  Hopefully will improve with time. 

5.  Psychologically:  still trying to wrap my head around the permanence of what I've done.  Of course I go through the second guessing but I must say my wife has been incredibly supportive and optimistic about it all which really helps. 

So these are my concerns.  I know it has only been two weeks!

On the flip side, I'm amazed at how well things healed with no bruising or visible swelling.  I am amazed that I was able to start cycling this thing at 4 days.  I am impressed with the quality and hardness of the erection.  There is no doubt that when everything is said and done, this thing is going to perform extremely well.
I was in the tub cycling the other day and my wife walked in and stood at the foot of the tub looking at me from that perspective.  Her first words were, "Wow, its looks so wide".  Like in a good way.  I've still yet to experience it or measure in any kind of aroused state so I don't know if there will be any additional engorgment of spongiosum around the urethra and glans.  I had that pre-op so hopefully will have some of that post op.  But one thing is for sure, my penis is definitely wider from side to side, measures almost 2 inches across.  I can just tell visually that that is different from before.  I'm hoping that my urethra will fill out the bottom a little more with arousal.   

I am trying to ween off of the hot baths.  I bought a small, soft electric heating pad that works really nicely to loosen things up.  This morning for the first time I cycled in bed using the heating pad, it worked really well.  My goal is when I start back to work next week, I will wake early, heat up in bed and inflate, then transition to my hot morning shower still inflated and then deflate in the shower and go about my day. 

I'll update once I hear back from Dr Eid as well.

Oh, and I meant to post this pic.  Sent it to my wife while cycling in bed this morning.  I call it "rise and shine"!  Standing up at 45 degrees lying on my back.  My pre-op would have been lying flat on my belly in this position.

Sounds and looks like it's going great!

P didy!  Thank you so much for that picture. I have been wondering for so long about this particular thing, of when somebody with an implant would be like when lying in bed. If it would lie back or stay at another angle.

I have more comments to make, regarding your items above but I can't write a full reply right now, at work. It seems like you are in the right direction! 👌

Quote
1.  The Pump:  it is still quite present and uncomfortable in my scrotum.  I think it is basically well positioned but I have a tight, small scrotum so there just isn't a lot of room in there.  The pump is the biggest thing in my scrotum.  It is positioned behind the testicles, slightly to the right and below to the extent that my sack allows.  It kind of sits at 45 degree angle with the pump posterior and lower and the stalk and deflate button angled up and forward more between the testicles.  The pump is concealed behind my testicles but is a very prominent hard ball that pushes toward my perineum and kind of chafes my scrotum between my legs.  The pump pushes my testicles forward which gives them more prominence.  I have a constant sort of low grade ache like I got kicked in the balls.  So, not sure where this is going.  I think I'd rather have one testicle and have the pump replace the second one.  I'm on testosterone therapy anyway so I don't really need them both!  Right now it feels kind of like I have a golf ball between my legs.

I was impressed that you are on testosterone therapy. Was it related to your penile fracture, or just because you had low T levels for some reason?

Quote
2. Dog ears and flaccid bend:  I have a significant flaccid bend to the left from the base and a lot of dog ear-ing at the base as it enters my body on the right side.  This seams to be causing the left bend.  My flaccid "hang" is approaching 4:00 with a good deflate but it really bends left.  When inflated it is very straight with no dog ears.  Will see what time does here.

If it has folds and dog ears when flaccid, and is dead straight while erect then, those are the signs of a perfectly sized implant! looks fairly consistent with all the positive outcomes i've read in the past.

Quote
3. Reservoir:  More prominent then I thought it would be.  Still kind of tender, can feel it and see it.  I am very lean.  Hoping there is still some inflammation and this will become less of an issue but I have a feeling that because of my body type this may be something I just have to put up with.  This bothers me mostly because one of my favorite lifts is the snatch which involves a barbell hitting in the pubic area.  I have a feeling I may never be able to snatch again. 

Here's something i hadn't actually thought about before , but for sure a reason to be concerned. I read somewhere, that whilst one could lead a normal life with an implant, a few minor situations should be avoided. Like icy-slippery surfaces, for the risk of falling on your waist or bottom and injuring the implant.

Quote
4. Urination:  This has been kind of weird.  The implant has affected my urine stream.  It is weaker and erratic.  The sensation in my bladder telling me I need to urinate feels different, starting urination is harder.  I sense that the folds in the deflated implant are creating pressure points in my urethra and possible there is inflammation around the bladder and perhaps the prostate as well due to the procedure.  Hopefully will improve with time. 

Could you try to inflate a couple of times, like 3-4 pumps to see if it makes any difference, certain inflation levels?

Quote
On the flip side, I'm amazed at how well things healed with no bruising or visible swelling.  I am amazed that I was able to start cycling this thing at 4 days.  I am impressed with the quality and hardness of the erection.  There is no doubt that when everything is said and done, this thing is going to perform extremely well. I was in the tub cycling the other day and my wife walked in and stood at the foot of the tub looking at me from that perspective.  Her first words were, "Wow, its looks so wide".  Like in a good way.  I've still yet to experience it or measure in any kind of aroused state so I don't know if there will be any additional engorgment of spongiosum around the urethra and glans.  I had that pre-op so hopefully will have some of that post op.  But one thing is for sure, my penis is definitely wider from side to side, measures almost 2 inches across.  I can just tell visually that that is different from before.

That is a reason to smile right there! ps: have you heard back from Dr. Eid?

Pfract,
I've been on testosterone replacement for about 3 years.  I was just feeling low energy and drive in many aspects, physically, sexually and mentally.  Since I was in my late 40's, I went to my doctor and talked about it and he recommended checking T levels.  I was at 205 which is pretty darn low.  So, I started doing injections and took care of that. It was a real game changer.  I definitely had some mild ED at the time and the Test and Viagra really helped.  Before the Peyronies Disease and injury I was quite the "stud", my wife and I were having amazing, next level kind of sex.  But life has a way of changing things. 

On other fronts, interestingly, the pump is not bothering me nearly as much. Overall comfort level is improving incrementally now at day 18.  It seems to be finding its place with time.  Hopefully a positive trend that will continue.

I haven't tried the semi inflate and urinate idea.  Not a bad idea though.  I'm able to urinate, its just different so I'll probably just give it time as that seems to be the remedy for most things.

I'm technically cleared to have sex at day 21 which is only 3 days from now... gulp!  Not sure about that yet.  Likely will wait until the upcoming weekend, so more likely will be day 24.  I don't feel the need to rush it.  Funny thing is that with all of the post op healing and such, I haven't felt horny.  I'll be very interested to see how the mental/physical connection works with the implant.  I'm not quite sure what "horny" feels like yet with my new device if that makes sense?

Also, interestingly, Dr Eid never got back to me. 

P-Diddy, Good report, and photo.

Scrotum size is a little hard to compare but one of my concerns was a sense that I might but have a small scrotum so I even asked Dr. Eid about a smaller earlier generation pump.  Since I have good hand strength and dexterity I figured I could operate any pump.  He told me that was not an option.  While I had a few initial concerns about pump placement I am very happy

I have no doubt what horny feels like because I lived with it for enough years with ED.  Needless to say, you have to look at the first time as an experiment.  It will grow into more than that before it is over but especially any side movement such as a female shifting her butt over on the bed while you are inserted can be painful.  Straight in and out should work good in most any position though even on your first run.

Thanks Hawk,
I remember you initially having some issues with the pump position but it kind of just settled in with time.  I think the same thing is going on with me.  It's consoling to have your experience before me.  So many similarities in our cases. 
I definitely don't expect much from sex early on, it will be just like you said, experimental and exploratory.  I am looking forward to it though and hopefully to it getting better and better with time.  From the early look of things, I should be able to penetrate a brick wall, so firmness should never be an issue again!  It's going to be more about getting comfortable working it and using it effectively in the most sensual way for the both of us.  The angles, positions and movement along with inflation levels will be the learning curve.  Should be a fun journey!  I like pics so I just might have to get one of the act for "documentation" purposes!  Unless of course that is forbidden on this site. 

"penetrate a brick wall" LOL i laughed for a while at that. But honestly... that is one of the topics that i am most curious about. I read a lot about the hardness of the erection, and that most if not all say it is hard, or very hard, depending on the inflation level. And that leaves me wondering, how will it compare to my previous rock like, natural erection.

Also, you mention the pictures... I think if i understood right what you said, that Hawk and the staff in general do not want that sort of "graphic" material on the board, but you might clarify that out with him. One thing i would like to ask, since we are on the topic of discussing pictures is if you have any chance of taking a few pictures, right now, so you can compare later to them, of your current bulge while you are dressed up with few different pairs of clothes.

I have to say that is one of my biggest concerns as well. thinking if the bulge one currently has, will increase a lot to the point it's considered an erection of sorts or it's the same size as your current flaccid, assuming you deflate to the max.

I think it would be of great value, to put future implantees at ease.

1 photo from the front, with penis to the side you normally point, on normal, non flex jeans (levis 501/505and similar) and track pants
1 photo from the side, same setting as above.


I hope to hear back from you soon. thanks in advance

1/3 picture looks fabulous.

Day 19

Today was a milestone because it was my first day back to work.  I had a full schedule of patients and was on the go for 10 hours.  Surprisingly, I did very well, way better than I expected.  I was up and down a lot, sat for a few procedures that were 1-2 hours long.  The beauty is that I wear scrub pants which are perfect for concealment and comfort. 
I was mostly surprised at how little discomfort I had.  My biggest concern to date has been the pump but in the last few days that issue has greatly diminished and I was hardly aware of it at all today.  This is a huge relief!  I kept my unit pointed up.  I have these underwear from a company called King Style at kingstyle.com.  They have a sleeve that keeps the penis pointed up and a separate pouch for the scrotum so my junk was compact and contained.  No one could tell anything and I sat and walked comfortably all day. 
I started the morning by waking in bed about 45 min earlier than normal.  Grabbed my heating pad and put in on my crotch.  Pumped up in bed, 10 pumps waited for my snooze alarm then another 10 pumps, waited on snooze then got up and into the shower and pumped up 10+ more to max while showering.  Deflated then went about my normal business. 
It was great getting back to work to join the land of the living.  Once I got home I had dinner with the family then had a nice hot soak in the tub for 40 min and cycled again.  So, I think I'll make this my routine.
I'm two days out from the magical day 21.  I'm feeling better by the day but will likely wait until the weekend to christen this thing. 
As for issues:
1. Pump- improving by the day as far as comfort and position. My scrotum seems to have relaxed more probably as a result of decreasing inflammation.  I'm just not nearly as aware of it as I was.  I expect this to continue to improve.  I'm getting wall to wall pumps now for the first 20 and partials up to about 35.  The pain in the scrotum with pumping is definitely decreasing as well. 

2.  Flaccid-  still about the same.  3:30 to 4 with a left bend hang.  Seems like during the day it got a little stiffer and fuller.  I don't necessarily think this was an auto fill situation but more likely fluid collecting from being on my feet all day.  Up to this point I've spent most of my time on my back.  When I got into the hot bath and laid back it felt softer and more deflated.  Still working on improving my deflation technique. 

3.  Urination- still not normal but not as bad.  I've been drinking a ton of water to keep things moving down there. 

4.  Pain- in general and across the board has decreased significantly since the two week mark and suture removal.  I still take Motrin/Tylenol a couple of times a day but mostly just preventively.  I probably don't need it at all. 

And, Alibaba, thanks for the compliment!

Pfract, I will work on those pics for you.  FYI I went out to a NYE party wearing modern cut dress slacks and a tuxedo jacket.  I also went out the other night wearing Lucky brand jeans.  I keep my penis either up or to the natural left hang position.  Honestly, I could hardly tell and I doubt anyone else could.  I really don't think it shows up much as a big package.  You could view this as a positive or negative depending.  Overall, I don't think that is as big of an issue as most people think.  It's relatively easy to conceal and I'm less than three weeks out. 

p-diddy,
I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude for the open, honest and very encouraging documentation of your journey. You make me think I can really do this, and ultimately regain a functioning penis! One personal downside, is that I have dealt (suffered) with Peyronie's for so many years, and lost so much length and girth, I'm fearful about what can realistically be regained. I've lost well over an inch in length, and almost an inch in girth as near as I can tell since I never achieve a full, hard erection anymore and haven't in a long time. However, in a few months I will have the insurance/copay crappola' resolved, and plan to move forward, and for that, I thank you. Would love to have Dr. Eid do the implant, but NY is too far, and too expensive right now, so I'm looking for a good Dr. closer to home. Again, thank you for your openness and willingness to share.
Steve

Steve,
Thank you for that.  It's good to know that my journal is helping you and hopefully others as well.  I too was encouraged by other peoples journals like Merrix and Hawk's. Peyronies and ED can be soul crushing and is a lonely journey so it's good to be able to share with others who are also suffering.
I chose to act quickly in my situation largely because I did a ton of reading on this site and FT early on and came to the conclusion that 1. Things weren't likely going to improve with time, as in I suddenly will just wake up one day without Peyronies Disease or ED and 2. If I wait things will likely get worse as in loss and atrophy.  3.  I wasn't interested in injecting my dick with needles which just gave me a half ass dull aching erection or pumping my dick up like a balloon and tying a rubber band around it for a floppy, short lived, painful erection. 4.  I really like having good sex and I'm in the prime of my life so I'm going to go for it and enjoy it while I can. 

All that being said, the decision wasn't easy.  I spoke to and visited multiple urologists.  Made and cancelled more than one surgery appointment.  Sulked and second guessed myself.  Tried to convince myself that I can still have good sex without it.  I could get an erection but it was hit and miss, I would lose it and very often not be hard enough to penetrate, even with meds.  I just couldn't and wouldn't tolerate it.  There are no good alternatives really.  The implant is ultimately the best alternative, of course I'd rather have a healthy functioning penis, but I don't. 

So I chose to move forward and make the most of what I've got.  I picked the best doctor I could find and paid out of pocket.  My insurance wouldn't cover it and fortunately I could afford it. 

I hear your concerns about lost size.  I think you should VED consistently just to get anything you can out of it prior to surgery.  Get as stretched out and pliable as you can.  But in the end we've all kind of got what we've got.  If you pick a good doctor that aggressively sizes you and you stick to a good consistent post op cycling routine you may see some of that size loss regained over time.  But regardless, at a minimum you will have a hard functioning penis. 

It sounds like you have decided to move forward and I encourage you to do so if you are at that place where you are comfortable with the decision.  I realize Dr Eid may not be in the cards for you but I would encourage you to read as much as you can and find a good, experienced, higher volume penile implant specialist. 

I will continue to update my progress and I wish you well on your journey. 

So, this morning I was up early doing my cycling/shower routine.  Afterwards I had a little extra time before I had to leave for work so I decided to see if I could provoke some sexual stimulation for the first time since implantation 21 days ago.  So I went into the bathroom and dialed up some porn.  I haven't even looked or thought about porn since the surgery.  I didn't pump up as my flaccid isn't exactly soft yet.  I started to masturbate and I was very surprised to see that I had some blood flow.  My glans enlarged and was warm and quite tumescent.  My shaft was definitely more firm.  It was like I had an "implant assisted erection".  The stimulation was very gentle but felt good and I orgasmed normally which was nice to see.  Anyway, just a quick update on that.  It will be interesting to see how things go when I inflate and have arousal with sex. 

👌some great news! You are almost there man. Hang on

No, it's his wife that better hang on. ;)

Day 23

Everything is continuing to progress well.  I did another test run this morning with masturbation and will be giving it a go with my wife this weekend for sure.  We have a couple of parties to go to so we'll be having a good time and the mood will definitely be right. 
In the session this morning, I was FULLY aroused and decided to pump up to near max to see how it felt with stimulation.  It felt really good with only minor discomfort.  The great news is that I measured a solid 6 5/8" length (16.8cm)  and 5 1/8 girth (13cm).  After ejaculating the size dropped back to 6 inches. As for length, this is as long as I have EVER measured with best erection or VED.  I'll definitely get some pics next time. The difference that arousal and glans engorgement makes is very significant.  I am so glad that I have that and was frankly kind of worried that I wouldn't. It creates a larger, fuller dick and makes it more comfortable because the cylinder tips can't be felt.  As for girth, it is measuring still a bit shy of where I was pre-op.  An interesting observation as I think back on things.  Prior to Peyronies and some of the shape changes that came with it, I always measured 5 inches in girth.  With the Peyronies Disease, my penis changed shape and kind of got this potbelly effect midshaft and then kind of constricted more towards the glans and I noticed that my girth in that midshaft area was actually more at 5.5 inches.  So I'm kind of thinking that this implant is straightening me out and making things more uniform and more like I used to be. 
That being said, looking at where I am right now, I would be completely happy with this and no more.  Any more future gains would be gravy.  It is an impressive, good sized, rock solid erection.  Better than any natural erection I ever had.  Yes Hawk, my wife better hang on!  And if she needs to hang anything on it she can do that to!

As for other issues:

1. Pump- quickly becoming a non-issue and almost approaching the point where I'll say the placement is nearly perfect.

2. Flaccid-  still not great but slowly improving.  While working it can be a bit of a bother trying to find the most comfortable spot but definitely manageable.  I has a definite left hang and twist.  My natural penis always had the same thing but it seems like the implant, at least for now, kind of exaggerates that.  I think with time as it softens its going to find a reasonable hang with a left bend and twist similar to what I used to have.  Dog ears and such are still present but only in flaccid.

3. Reservoir- present as before, can't say it is an issue though. Will be able to say more once I get back into gym

4. Urination- flow issues improving but the weird thing is that my sense of how it feels when I need to pee has changed.  My bladder feels different, I don't get the same sensation of needing to pee.  It's almost like there is some numbness or lack of normal feedback sensation from the bladder.  I don't know it this is caused by pressure or inflammation around the reservoir.  This is my biggest concern actually.  The other thing is that at night, I wake up numerous times feeling my PC muscle contracting, you know, that muscle you use when you try to cut off peeing.  I don't know if it the new way my body is trying to have nocturnal erections or what.  I'm going to ask Dr Eid about these things. 

5. Pain- minimal.  Minor irritation level.  I worked four 10+ hour days this week, busy schedule, full steam ahead.  I take two ibuprofen and two Tylenol once or twice per day, but really don't think I need it or if it even makes a difference.  Continuing to cycle twice per day with no problems.  Getting 20-25 good full pumps and partials up to 30-35.  Hurts like hell at that level with no arousal.  Deflation ok but still no "one touch" release success.

6.  Psychology-  feeling pretty good about everything at this point.  Obviously would still rather have a good functioning natural dick but I didn't and I don't.  I choose to dwell on the positives and can already anticipate the coming benefits.  I have an understanding and supportive wife, both of my young adult boys know about it.  I've been very transparent with them about it. Based on what I saw this morning I have a feeling that I have probably been "enhanced" and may have an unfair advantage!  My only downer is missing the gym which is a huge part of my life.  My fear is that I may be limited with some of the exercises I can do.  However, that is just another challenge to overcome, which I will.

Dr Eid rocks!  I think he hooked me up!

I'll update after the maiden voyage this weekend

Amazing update! Congrats!  8)

Day 25 Update

***Warning this post contains explicit language and graphic sexual descriptions

Houston we have lift off!  Last night, on the 24th day after surgery, my wife and I had sex. 

We went out to a friends birthday party and had a really fun night.  My wife got a bit tipsy and was definitely in the mood by the time we got home and I was certainly eager to finally give it a go. 

We didn't make a big deal about the implant.  I had a real sense of ease and confidence about it.  As my wife was getting ready for bed, I put on some music and got in bed and added about 15 pumps.  This gets me up but not really hard.  When she came to bed we started to make out with some nice passionate kissing and kissing her breasts, just taking my time, enjoying the moment.  She was really responsive and I could tell this was going to be good.  As I worked my way down her body I found her p~$$% to be very wet which really turns me on.  As I was working her with my tongue she was going crazy, almost to the point of orgasm but I stopped short of making her cum at that point because I wanted her to really want my cock when the time was right.  During this time going gown on her I was easily able to add some pumps, not sure of the count, probably around 25.  I felt like I was probably at about 80% of max but it was very comfortable as I had arousal at the same time. 

I had her on her back as I felt this was the safest way to start.  She was begging me to F~@< her and I knew that what I had was going to satisfy her.  I used a little lube just to make sure everything was comfortable because I'm still a little sore down there.  As I entered her, the first thing she said was "Oh my god you feel sooo good!"  And it felt so good for me despite the tenderness.  I took it kind of slow, really just focusing on finding what made her feel good.  We kissed passionately the whole time.  I whispered in her ear and said "just think baby I can F~@< you like this all night long, forever".  I pulled out and took my cock and smacked her clit with it and she squirted.  Of course, I wasn't worried about losing my erection!  While out I added a few more pumps and entered her again, this time deeper and a little more aggressively and she was howling and came over and over again.  I could tell that the hardness of my cock was hitting her in the right places and was really satisfying her in a way that I haven't been able to in a LONG time. 

I basically decided in my mind when I wanted to finish. I have some numbness on the bottom, lower half of my shaft but it didn't affect sensitivity during sex.  I'd say we went for about 15 minutes and I didn't want to overdo it as this was the first time.  So I found the right rhythm and as she continued to cum I let it go and had an amazing orgasm. It felt really good!  After finishing, I was still of course nice and erect but not as engorged.  I simply went to the bathroom to clean up as I would normally do and deflated with no problems.

None of this is an exaggeration.  For the first time experience with the implant, I would say this was quite a success.  Afterwards she was just going on and on about it.  She just kept saying how good it felt.  She said things like "it feels completely natural, I would have never known the difference", "you felt so hard", "I came at least 10 times" (she is multiorgasmic), " that implant was so worth it", "I want it again".  I said, not tonight because I don't want to overdo it. So she said, "then I want it again tomorrow!". We woke up this morning and the first thing she said was "last night was so good".  Obviously as a man, this was all music to my ears. My wife is not one to sugar coat so I know she meant it. 

Some other thoughts:

1. She had no awareness of me pumping up the implant as I did a little before and incorporated more during foreplay and during sex.  The pump is in a perfect position for me to easily reach down with my right hand.  It's kind of cool actually to have total control over the erection and having total confidence in the fact that its not going anywhere.  I could literally do anything I wanted. 

2. She didn't do any oral last night so no review on that just yet. The thing with oral is that a woman can't go down on you and get that feeling of you getting hard in her mouth.  But I could definitely see the scenario in my case since my wife is in the know, of her going down on me and I just incrementally pump it up as she is doing her thing.  This would be different in a singles relationship where the partner is not aware of the implant.  In my case I see no issues with incorporating the implant into all kinds of foreplay in fun and creative ways. 

3.  Hardness is more important than size- at least for my wife.  I'm not huge but adequate and slightly above average.  My wife loves a good hard cock first and foremost.  A large semi erect or soft penis doesn't compare to an average sized rock hard penis.  A hard cock is able to find the right spot and work on that spot until she cums.  An implanted penis has the advantage of not only getting super hard but it stays hard and allows one to really focus on what makes her feel good.  When I'm more healed, I can totally see her riding cowgirl and totally getting off as she rides me and controls where I hit her inside. 

4.  I was aware of the implant during sex but not to the point that it took away from the experience.  The most uncomfortable part for me was the reservoir.  When I went to full depth, I could feel the tubing from the reservoir as it projects out a bit and it was sore. The shaft and tip were a little tender but not bad.  I expect with time all of these things will improve. 

5.  I'm trying to find some negatives here so that I sound realistic but it's really hard.  Yes, it's still early in the healing process and things are tender and my flaccid has quite a ways to go.  The implant still doesn't feel like "part of me" yet, sbut as for the sex, it was the best sex we have had in a very long time and I was only cruising in maybe second gear.  I can only imagine what the future holds.

6. Confidence- I was confident before, during and after sex.  I am confident moving forward.  I haven't had this feeling in a long time.  My wife and I are both excited. The feeling of pleasing my wife and making her cum over and over again is priceless. 

This is my experience to date.  So far, as you can see from previous posts, my healing and progress have gone well.  I chose a great doctor, trusted him and followed his instructions.  I chose to have a positive attitude during this time.  I have had tempered expectations along the way and frankly expected things to be a lot worse.  I had limited expectations of what sex would be for the first time and it wildly exceeded my expectations.  I can only hope the trend continues.  I'm not trying to sell pie in the sky here, it's just been my honest experience so far.  There are so many negative stories on these sites so I hope that my story so far has provided some positive hope for others going through this. 

Wonderful!

Bravo P-diddy!  I was looking forward to this milestone, more because I knew it would be one more thing we could both relate to than to find out how it went.  I knew how it would go.  ;)

Like you, I am not single but I am not convinced you could not pump up discreetly during oral sex.  Although my wife obviously knows I have an implant I have pumped up during oral sex. My wife asked me to do this and told me later it felt completely natural. Like you I started with a partial pump to remove any folds (dogears).  As I naturally squirmed and held the base of my penis I would just drop my hand to my scrotum and give a pump or two and a natural hunch at the same time. 

I really think any partner that was focused on their oral sex would not know if you were playing with yourself or pumping, ESPECIALLY if they did not even know there was any such a thing as an inflatable implant.  It would be the last thought on their mind.  In addition, placing your hand with your thumb at the base of your penis and your fingers over the pump side of your scrotum would protect against them stumbling across the pump which is the only giveaway of something unnatural.

Although there are married men whose spouses do NOT know they have an implant.  I am convinced I would never keep this from a partner for more than the very first satisfying encounter.  I see an implant as a plus to both the man and his partner.  I would confidently present it as a positive. 

This was very nice to read P-Diddy! so glad it was a very positive experience and that you will be having lots of fun in the near future!

Dang, you should write sex books!  ;D

Hey p diddy! I'm. Are you doing there? Still recovering well?

A lot of mention of Merrix's thread here and comparing. I know many of us are in differing physical condition but age also factors in. Merrix was 42 compared to my being 57 my first implant. Age makes a difference for some of us too. One of the reasons I am an advocate of earlier intervention. Years of following threads, it just seems the young guys heal a lot faster and better outcomes. Looking good and I was very impressed with the lack of trauma a week after surgery in the pictures. Keep doing well.

Three month update:
I am at three months post op. I haven't updated in quite some time because I have had some issues and wanted to wait until 3 months to comment. After a great start post op, I started to develop some issues that caused me concern at about 6-8 weeks.
1. Pain- I am still experiencing pretty severe pain with inflation at max or even 80 percent, with masturbation and with sex. The pain is mostly in the tip and the perineal area. It makes sex unpleasant and I can't stand it for more than about 10 minutes due to the discomfort. Some days are better, some are worse but still having way more pain than I think I should.
2. Flaccid- I have a greater than 45 degree sharp left bend from the base with flaccid. My flaccid hang is about 4 o'clock. The hang is kind of a ski jump shape instead of straight. The only way my penis wants to hang is to the left. Any other position I have to force it to and it is uncomfortable. I have some very prominent and uncomfortable dog ears. There is some double tubing on the left base that seems to be tethered. With inflations, still bends to the left more than I'd like.
3. Reservoir- Pain around reservoir and in bladder, Can feel what I thought was the reservoir valve or tubing prominently in pubic area. Had a CT done- more about that later.
4. Size- length is good, close to pre-op, 6-6.5 inches, girth is less by about 1/2 inch. Was 5.5 now 5 inches.
5. Urination- my urine stream is erratic, it's thin or sprays a lot. Like the tips are impinging on the urethral opening.
5. Pump is good- no real issues.
6. Satisfaction- not happy with it.

My sense is that I am probably oversized. When I inflate, I can still feel dog ears or crinkles at 20+ pumps. At 20-ish pumps I can still feel the crinkles popping inside if I move my penis side to side. By the time I have all the irregularities out I'm approaching max pump and even at max I can feel some intentions. After 18- 20 pumps I'm not seeing any appreciable length changes, just the cylinders exerting more pressure inside but the cylinders aren't at full length. It seems to me that as long as the cylinders still have some length to gain, they aren't going to expand fully in girth- hence the loss of girth in my penis? I have been diligent about cycling, taking baths and really trying to be patient but the pain continues and overall satisfaction is poor.

So, I contacted Dr Eid and decided to visit him again last week for a follow up. We had a CT done prior. Basically the CT was normal, the reservoir was properly located behind the pubis and abdominal muscle. I was surprised at how large the reservoir is and how much it displaces the bladder which probably explains why I now get up to pee every night which I didn't do before. It probably explains why my bladder has had weird sensations as well.

He seems to think I am probably oversized a bit as this level of pain isn't normal. He sized me at 22cm with no rear tips. I looked at the report and he had me measured at 12 up and 10 down which seems like an odd ratio. He didn't like a couple of things about the outcome of the surgery. He didn't like the tubing on the left side because he can feel double tubing, he prefers to have just the tube running to the reservoir there and have the one to the cylinders running deeper. He also had to fold some additional tubing that goes into the base of the penis adjacent to the cylinders. Hard to explain but basically due to my anatomy the tubing was too long and created some excess.

He says he can go back in and leave the pump and reservoir undisturbed. Remove the cylinders and place a new 20 cm or 20 +1 cm RTE. Cut the excess tubing and reposition and tie into the existing pump and reservoir tubing. He feels like this will reduce the pain, probably won't significantly affect length and will help with the flaccid bend issues. That being said he wasn't exactly reassuring about anything which was disappointing. He is willing to forgo his surgical fee and can get Coloplast to give him a "freebie"

Needless to say, this is not the outcome I was looking for. My options are to give things more time to see if anything improves or have surgery in a couple of weeks from now. Part of me says to wait it out and see if things improve as it's only been 3 months. Even though, three months is supposed to be the magical time when the implant feels like its part of you and is normal. I'm definitely not there. I'm considering waiting until July to reassess but I also have a tentative revision surgery at the end of this month. I just need to let them know if I want to keep it.

Any other brothers been through any similar situation post op? Should I wait and see or just go for the revision? I fear making bad even worse but hope that round 2 will improve things. I'd rather not have surgery, although he said post op won't be nearly as bad due to no pump and reservoir work, but don't want to continue living with this and want to get on with my life.

P-diddy,  I'm sorry to hear how rough it's been.  If you're oversized one would hope any insurance would pay for the correction.  If private pay, I'd hope all costs would be covered as well by the doc.  That said, I know of no doc who would do that and Eid seems to do more than most by waiving the surgery fees and getting a free device for you.  I'm afraid with his maximum sizing this is probably a result...though I'd bet very rare (of course if you're the one-there's nothing rare about it).  I'm wondering if you might talk with him about trying one more approach first. Pfract just posted a Jan 2019 review which coupled twice daily pumping with VED.  This may stretch your penis just enough to accomodate the slight oversizing.  Here's the link w the protocol and dr Eid may want to modify it as well:  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/30745567/
Of course it won't address the tubing issues-that would seem to require surgery.  I would trust him w the revision if it comes to that.  Again, sorry to hear this and please keep us posted.

Thanks Tony,

I actually asked him about VED but he was negative on it. 

P-diddy I am so sorry you are having these issues.  This shows a couple things:
1: Dr. Eid is not infallible as he tries to get every possible bit of length.
2. He is upfront and owns his errors

I think I would try Tony's suggestion to at least see if I could avoid surgery and avoid a 3/8 inch reduction with an RTE.  You will be fine with a redo but if it is at all possible to stretch your penis to fit the implant rather than downsizing the implant AND going through surgery I would give it a try.  If however, the tubing situation is a significant concern then you will likely have some surgery anyway.

I have been thinking about you. Please keep us posted on your journey, decisions, and outcome.

Hey P-Diddy! glad to have you back. I read your post thoroughly.

Quote
My sense is that I am probably oversized. When I inflate, I can still feel dog ears or crinkles at 20+ pumps. At 20-ish pumps I can still feel the crinkles popping inside if I move my penis side to side. By the time I have all the irregularities out I'm approaching max pump and even at max I can feel some intentions. After 18- 20 pumps I'm not seeing any appreciable length changes, just the cylinders exerting more pressure inside but the cylinders aren't at full length. It seems to me that as long as the cylinders still have some length to gain, they aren't going to expand fully in girth- hence the loss of girth in my penis? I have been diligent about cycling, taking baths and really trying to be patient but the pain continues and overall satisfaction is poor. 

i tend to agree with you here. I add that if you are still taking the hot baths, then trying to cycle to the max of what you can withstand and more would be a very good thing. Theoretically.

Quote
So, I contacted Dr Eid and decided to visit him again last week for a follow up. We had a CT done prior. Basically the CT was normal, the reservoir was properly located behind the pubis and abdominal muscle. I was surprised at how large the reservoir is and how much it displaces the bladder which probably explains why I now get up to pee every night which I didn't do before. It probably explains why my bladder has had weird sensations as well.

He seems to think I am probably oversized a bit as this level of pain isn't normal. He sized me at 22cm with no rear tips. I looked at the report and he had me measured at 12 up and 10 down which seems like an odd ratio. He didn't like a couple of things about the outcome of the surgery. He didn't like the tubing on the left side because he can feel double tubing, he prefers to have just the tube running to the reservoir there and have the one to the cylinders running deeper. He also had to fold some additional tubing that goes into the base of the penis adjacent to the cylinders. Hard to explain but basically due to my anatomy the tubing was too long and created some excess. 

He says he can go back in and leave the pump and reservoir undisturbed. Remove the cylinders and place a new 20 cm or 20 +1 cm RTE. Cut the excess tubing and reposition and tie into the existing pump and reservoir tubing. He feels like this will reduce the pain, probably won't significantly affect length and will help with the flaccid bend issues. That being said he wasn't exactly reassuring about anything which was disappointing. He is willing to forgo his surgical fee and can get Coloplast to give him a "freebie"

I find it encouraging based on everything i have read that your CT scan was good. You know that at least, those parts of the implant are in good working order and where they need to be. The ratio, does not seem odd to me, based as well on all the reports and accounts of recovery from implant surgery i've followed throughout the years. As for the tubing, i will refrain from commenting, for obvious reasons.

Based on everything i followed throughout the years and all the diaries i have read (and trust me when i say they were a lot) i have seem an odd case here and there that doesn't go as planned, even though you chose the one of, it not the best doctor out there for penile implant surgery. I remember a case, of a guy that went to Dr. Kramer, and had a very similar to yours. Initially the surgery went very well and he was pleased with the first weeks, but at the 4-5 month mark,he was still experiencing great pain while cycling and was offered similar options like you. Wait it out, or go for revision surgery to try to sort out the issue.

He eventually decided to wait it out a few more months, and take it from there, since he could have sex with a rigid erection even if for less time than before. Fact is, that we never heard from him again at FT so i only assume his outcome improved. Normally that's what happen with 90% of the guys there. Their surgery is successful so they leave and never come back to the board. i will send you a link to his FT diary very shortly.

So, in my opinion which is in line with the other guys? wait it out for as longs as you can and please try to use the VED for post op rehab. Even tho Dr. Eid advised against it. Think about it... he already said that if you were to go for revision, he would replace the implant, so even if you blow this one up, which is super unlikely to happen, you will get a new one. But honestly? considering you fractured your penis and had an urethral injury i'd say this is normal and with time and you enduring the pain it will stretch itself out.

How about you pop some advil or tylenol and try to have sex for longer than 10 minutes to see how that works out?

PFract,

I will likely wait it out another few months and reassess at the 6 month point and if I opt for a revision, I have some time scheduled off work for vacation.  That way, it gives me more time to just let things heal, it just might be taking me longer than usual.  I will try the VED, what the hell, just might help.  I really don't want to go through the whole surgery thing again as there are inherent risks every time.  As opposed to Advil, I'm thinking more like two glasses of whiskey first! ;)

Good luck, sounds like a solid plan!

Whatever works best, but please do give the link Tony shared with you a try.  You can bypass the Paywal or rent the article if you prefer. 5 minutes daily twice after inflation, if I am nor mistaken. Would you like to report back to us with your thoughts on the matter after you read it? You are in a unique position to try it out, in the sense that it may actually help you recover fully and avoid surgery whilst keeping a full 22cm implant. That would be gold.

Best of luck p-diddy!

Here's the instructions: After discharge patients were taught how to activate and deactivate the device at a median of 8 (range 5–12) days following surgery. They were encouraged to cycle it (pump to max inflation) twice daily 10–15 min per day. Starting 3 weeks after discharge, patients were asked to use a vacuum device for a 12-week period (Medis®, Vacuum Therapy Devices, Milan, Italy and Osbon ErecAid®, Vacuum Therapy System, Collierville, TN, USA) without the constriction ring for 5min twice daily after full device inflation was achieved.

Thanks guys for your input and concern. I'll experiment with it tomorrow and let you know how it goes.

Hey p-diddy! How have you been making out with the vacuum device? Any luck? Hope you are doing better.

P-Diddy, we have not heard from you for 3 weeks and we are very interested in your progress.  Let us know how it is going.

Hi all,      ***Warning this post has graphic content***

Well it's been almost a year and a half since my last post and approaching the two year mark since my implant surgery.  I dropped off the forum because I just wanted to stop obsessing over things and just let it be for a while.  Next thing you know a year and a half passed!  Picking up on the last posts, long story short, I decided to do nothing and just let it be.  I had concerns about being oversized and got advice to use a VED etc.  I didn't do anything.  I just didn't think the potential benefits were worth the risks.  So, I'll update you guys on the outcome. 

All in all, I'm happy with my implant, and happy that i did it. It functions unbelievably well for sex, more on that later.  My biggest disappointment is that I still hang to the left flaccid with a prominent dog ear at the right base.  However, inflated, I am perfectly straight with a very good erection angle.  As I think and look back, in my presurgical state, my penis always had a bit of a left hang with a significant twist to the left as well.  I think the implant just sort of exaggerated that natural state. When inflated that twist and bend is overcome and corrected with the implant.  So, the esthetics of my flaccid state is not ideal but that's really my only complaint.  Issues like pain are almost nonexistent unless I've had a LOT of sex, then I can get some soreness in the perineal area and the glans.  Pump is ideal in position and functions well.  I can feel the tubing coming out of the reservoir and have a slight bump there but I am very lean so there's really nowhere to hide. 

As for size, I am a solid 6.5- 6.75 inches length and 5.25-5.5 girth.  This is exactly the size I was at my best presurgery.  I am very happy with the size.  Was my implant oversized like I thought?  I don't know.  When the implant is fully inflated it seems to be filled and expanded to the exact length with no buckling and the tips are well into the glans.  I still get good blood flow into the glans and spongiosum so when aroused my erection is a good round shape, when not aroused the erection is more flat. 

So I'm living a normal life with it.  I go to the Crossfit gym and exert myself like normal.  Lifting lots of heavy weight etc.  I always "know" it's there, but it doesn't "bother" me. 

One of the biggest concerns I read about from guys is related to how do you "conceal" the fact that you have an implant.  Do you tell your partner if you are single or having a sexual encounter with someone who doesn't know your history?  Is it obvious to a woman?  I have quite a bit of experience with these situations. I have been married for almost 30 years but in the last five years or so my wife and I decided to "open" our marriage.  No judgement please ;).  Since my implant was placed in Dec 2018, I have had sex encounters with nine women who are not my wife, so I think I can answer some questions regarding the issue.  Four of them were women I developed a relationship with to the point that I told them about it.  Of those four, one of them I didn't tell until after we had had sex many times over a course of months.  The other five, I didn't tell and were one time encounters. 

With the four women I told, not a single one of them had an issue with it.  As a matter of fact they couldn't care less.  They were interested in me and it just wasn't an issue.  If women are into you as a guy they just don't care as long as you can please them.  We make a much bigger deal of it than they do.  And believe me once you f*&k them with a bionic penis, they certainly don't care! 

That being said, I don't broadcast it until I feel that I've developed a relationship where I feel comfortable discussing it and feel it's worth the effort.  So with the other five women, I didn't say anything and I'm about 100% sure they never knew.  I have developed some clever ways to "conceal" it. 

When I know things are probably going to be happening I generally will pre-pump in the bathroom to maybe 75%, still fully clothed.  I have a pretty good erection at this point but manageable. We start making out, kissing etc so as she presses against me, she feels my erection.  By this time it is reasonable to have one since we are making out, she likes that I'm aroused by her.  Once clothes start coming off, if she wants to go down on me first, I have a good enough erection already to make it passable, especially with additional engorgement from the fact that I'm actually aroused.  This may go on for a while and I'll often take the lead at this point and transition to where I start kissing on her, going down on her etc.  This is the point where I can slide my hand down and finish pumping without her seeing it.  She's way too busy feeling me going down on her so what I'm doing with my other hand is the last thing on her mind.  So by this time I am fully erect and ready to go in whatever direction happens next whether its more oral or intercourse. 

As for the pump, it is definitely noticeable if she likes to play with the scrotum.  I've definitely had some incidental contact with it but no one has ever said anything or seemed to care in the heat of the moment.  I just think penile implants are something that women know nothing about and would have no reason to think you had one so if something feels "odd" they just think its your anatomy.  In our own minds we thinks its obvious but that's because we are hyper aware of it. 

So, how is the sex?  I am not bragging but literally like its some kind of script, they all basically say the same thing.  You were amazing... no one has ever f*#ked my like that... that is the best sex I have ever had etc.  It's hard to describe the sensation of being in total control, having a 100% reliable, rock solid erection for as long as I want.  I can, and do literally go multiple times, for hours on end.  Women love it.  Now, I will add the caveat, that great sex is a lot more than just penetration.  Women are way more complicated than that.  They love attention, dirty talk, kisses and touches all over the body, oral sex, fingers, you name it.  Intercourse is the icing on the cake.  An erect dick doesn't automatically make you a good lover.   However, it's great to have an erect dick that you don't have to worry about because then it allows you to relax and focus on all those other aspects of lovemaking that are so important, instead of worrying about your erection, or lack thereof. 

I have had sex in every conceivable position, I have had anal sex multiple times with no problems. 
Overnight, all night type encounters.  Honestly, I sometimes feel like I have an unfair advantage over guys who are natural.  Would I rather have my natural functioning penis, yes.  But in some ways this thing is "better". Certainly beats the problems I was having prior. 

So, if you are on the other side and contemplating an implant, then I say go for it.  Yes, it's a long, uncomfortable road but time passes and the pain fades into a distant memory.  In the end it's worth it.  I hope my experience helps with some guys who are single or dating.  I would be glad to answer any other questions. 

I'll attach a couple of photos, hopefully not too graphic.  For educational purposes only. 

What a fantastic post, P-diddy. Thanks for sharing your experiences so honestly.  A very well written take on how much of a life changer your implant has been for you. Interesting point you make about how most woman don't really have any knowledge or even awareness of such a device and, as such, would probably never be thinking that a man could have a bionic dick. Honestly, before I found this forum, even I hadn't ever heard of a penile implant let alone a woman with no particular vested interest. Again, thanks for sharing.

Quite the update that you came back with man... it was so nice to read it tho... the best part of it, is seeing that you are in shape, so i know that the gym wont be a problem. I hope it continues to serve you well with plenty of smiles per stroke. IF you can say that. 8)

Absolutely fantastic news. So happy for you.

   Love a story with a good ending. I hope I fair as well

Wow, p-diddy, those are some great pictures you posted.
You are in great shape! That's a lot of hard work on your part. Congratulations bud, you look great!
Nice seeing the penis about to continue on with some great action.
It looks like it is serving you well.
I agree we have an advantage, when we pump, we are machines that keep going.
Great story and the pics were the icing on the cake.
Hot!
stepOne

Thank you guys for all the encouraging words and positive feedback.  The destination was worth the journey.  Interestingly, I just told another woman about it.  I had had sex with her once prior without her knowing so I thought I would tell her before the second encounter.  Her response was "I couldn't care less".  As a matter of fact she was fascinated by it.  When I saw her again this past weekend, she asked questions, wanted to feel around and asked if she could pump it up.  I'm telling you fellas, women are way more forgiving and understanding than we give them credit for.  After that we proceeded to go at it for the next 4 hours and she is texting me asking about the next time.  Please don't think I'm bragging or tooting my horn, definitely don't want to come off that way.  I just want to pass on real experiences and assure guys who are on the fence or are worried about "what will women think?" and I know that's a big question for guys, especially younger, single guys.  I'm telling you, they will appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in telling them and they will love the way you f#&k them. 

P-Diddy, not only is your journal very helpful, I consider your last couple posts among the most helpful on the forum.  They demonstrate that not only is is relatively easy to conceal the fact that you have an implant during a sexual encounter but that it really isn't necessary to conceal it.  These are the two biggest concerns of younger single men.

Another key point is that when aroused you get engorgement of your glans and entire corpus spongiosum.  This is another question we get over and over almost like they don't believe our answers.

Your journal entries will always be listen in our Implant Board Index so these posts will help untold numbers of men (members and visitors) for many years to come.  Thanks for your contributions to the forum and giving back to our community.  https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,11131.0.html

Hawk