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Other Peyronies Disease Discussion Boards => Open Questions or General Comments (that won't fit under any other topics) => Topic started by: Nocekgari on July 12, 2019, 06:03:36 PM

Title: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 12, 2019, 06:03:36 PM
Active members on this forum probably noticed, I am incredibly obsessed with my penis lately. I am really sorry to post everyday about a new problem.

Today I finally got a diagnosis. Penile fracture. It was unnoticable because there was no typical eggplant syndrom or pain at the beggining. Just the cracking sound and slight uncomfortable feeling, that was all. When pain increased over time, I thought it might be peyronies dissease, but no, it was penile fracture. Urologist I saw today didnt say anything about the outcome of the treatment. He just gave me a painkiller and told me surgery is unnecessary. I am loosing my mind, criying like crazy, I just cant stop it. I am affraid to lose my sexual function at the age of 25. Untreated penile fracture is the worst. Thats what I concluded after hours and hours of article reading. What awaits me is a huge question mark. Right now, I am sitting on my bed, feeling the pain in my shrinked penis and thinking about my possible future. I downloaded many chat bots to talk to, I dont want to worry my loved ones, therefore I cant call and cry to them. And I have a new thought now: commiting suicide. Not because of my penis, because I just saw how weak I am. It was a fracture in my character, it just broke me. I dont have the power to fight. Tried calling a suicide line, turns out our government decided it is an unnecessary service.

I just need answers, or I need a very hard slap on my face. What is going to happen? Am I injured for life? I can feel the fracture after urologist examined it very harshly. Like he just awakened the fracture. I cant even go to toilet anymore, I cant look at it. When I touch my penis I get a twisting feeling.

Please tell me there is a way out of this. Please tell me there is still life even if I lose my sexual function. Please, those who experienced a fracture, tell me your succes stories. My last nervous breakdown was too strong, I thought about commiting suicide with overdosing myself with colchicum. Help me. I am not myself right now.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hawk on July 12, 2019, 07:04:53 PM
S L A P

Nocekgari, that was just to break the mood and get your attention.  You are among friends.  You do have support.  You are young.  This is possibly your first real trial.  It is normal for you to feel as you do but you will come out of this.  As you do you will appreciate the positive things in life more and be stronger for the next challenge knowing that you made it through this one.  This is not the end of you,  This is the making of you.

The first thing you need to do is understand is that even in the worst situations, as long as no one cuts your penis off, (maybe even then) there is a way to fix it.  It might mean a lot of work, it might mean saving money, it might mean traveling to a great surgeon but there is always a way.  Next, you are not in one of the worst situations.  You are going to make it through this.

Be patient.  Try not to stress or obsess.  Just as important as working on this problem is spending time forgetting about this problem and losing yourself in other pursuits and other healthy pleasures.

Take care, my friend.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on July 12, 2019, 11:28:50 PM
Hey man! i had exactly what you had in 2014. A very minor penile fracture. I only felt a slight tear in the penis. I did not even loose my erection! i was able to have sex for like 30 minutes more... came home and masturbated after sex too. Just slightly unconfortable feeling. The next day i had hematoma on right side of penis, but no blood or bruising.

You need to give your penis full rest for 6/8 weeks. No masturbation or sexual activity, to let it heal. Start tomorrow.
You may not loose all your function. It maybe some, just a little bit or a lot. It depends on the fracture you had. If it's a minor fracture, you have better chances or recovery.

Depending on where the tear was, then you will have fibrosis which can lead to curvature, (the degree will depend) and you may or may not have size loss.

For now you have to calm down. It may not seem possible now, but with time it will be better. Trust me. I understand what you are going through exactly! IF you want i can tell you my story in detail, and explain exactly the consequences and the outcome i had.

You may be able to recover well, or have slight ED that you need low dose cialis but you will still get very hard. Don't loose hope for now!
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 13, 2019, 06:20:17 AM
Hawk and pfract, thank you both for your help. Last night was a mental torture but now I am better. I called the doctor, he assured me there will be no long term effects, he wants me to avoid forcing erections and try not to get hard. If bleeding starts he will perorm surgery only then. After 15 days he wants to see me again. He told me being able to get erections after the injury is a very positive sign. For the pain though, he was very clear rhere is not much to do since injury causes contractions in pelvic area. I can live with the pain. But even though I know he is one of the best specialists in my city, I find it hard to believe. Can a doctor hide the truth in order to keep his patient relaxed? Because I probably sounded very nervous on the phone.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: NeoV on July 13, 2019, 06:36:14 AM
Here's another slap.

Good lord man, I didn't start succeeding with women until late twenties and now I'm at my prime. I suspect my true prime will be 40, but probably even will gain a deeper understanding as I age until the day I die. You do not even need a penis to keep a hot and wonderful girl. You REFUSE to believes this, but it is true. If you do not believe me, I beg you to simply hold off on the suicide and simply wait a bit. The idea of "keeping" a girl around is very messed up to begin with and is based on a fundamental flaw in the way you are thinking about women.

I am working on a kind of guide on this subject matter, so hold on and give me your thoughts on it before you leave this world.  :P

I know that deformity and pain is hell.. it's like having a burnt tongue and never being able to enjoy coffee. Now, having said that, I have found many answers to this problem on a very deep level. Even if I had no penis, I would keep talking to girls and achieving amazing and meaningful things with them.

Slow down and let's take things slow, we are all here for you.

Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 13, 2019, 07:49:28 AM
Thanks for the slap NeoV. Today I feel much better and I believe people don't commit suicide during a nervous breakdown. I even feel ashamed for being too dramatic yesterday. Although I can't say it is all better now. I still think about it all the time. I had to cancel my job interview, decided to rest for a week, because I noticed rest makes pain go away.

About the future, I am sure there are very confident guys out there who can "keep" a woman even without a penis. The thing is, I was always a very insecure guy. Also, this injury happened at the worst time possible. I just ended a long term relationship, just graduated and was trying to figure out what I want for a career it was a very critical turning point in my life and now I don't even think about those things. This fracture cost me a lot of time and energy.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hawk on July 13, 2019, 08:34:48 AM
That is one of the reasons I told you to work on it but DON'T dwell on it.  If anything this is a time to immerse yourself in work, education, or a hobby.

Also please know that confidence is NOT something you either have or don't have.  It is something you can change.  NO ONE would think of me as being shy or insecure,.  I can get up in front of hundreds of people and speak even if invited to do so on-the-spot with no preparation.  In my teens and early 20's I was shy and would not even look someone in the eye while shaking their hand.  It takes work and practice but you can go from insecure, to pretending you are confident, to changing who you really are and being very confident.

Unlike animals, it is the great thing about human beings is that we get to choose and to shape who we become. 
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: diehardpatriot on July 13, 2019, 10:26:56 AM
I believe 1 year and a few months ago I had an undiagnosed fracture. Like you, I was miserable. I had crippling anxiety. I couldn't sleep. I kept forcing erections, jacking off to "check if it worked". I was a mess. If I had stayed calm, i probably would be in a better spot right now. The main thing is to avoid hurting it more for you. That means AVOIDING erections at all cost and focusing on other areas of life. And just resting. While you rest, watch movies, talk with friends, play video games if you can ignore the pain. Take painkillers (not a fan of medicine but anything to keep your mind off it. No erections for 6-8 weeks. Consider fasting to heal, and at the very least cut out all sugar and try to stay away from carbohydrates for the next 6-8 weeks. These are not good for healing.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 13, 2019, 10:51:20 AM
I am sorry to hear that diehardpatriot. I assume you didn't get surgery either. How are you right now? Is your peyronies diessease related to the fracture? Can you get erections now?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hawk on July 13, 2019, 11:25:54 AM
I agree with no masturbation.  I am not sure I agree with no erections.  it is erections (daytime and night-time) that bring healing Oxygen to the tissue.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 13, 2019, 11:34:27 AM
Hawk, I guess that's right. But I seem to have ED now. I don't know if it is psychological or because of the injury itself. Before the diagnosis, when I thought I was fine, I could get erections easily with a bit of stimulation. I remember one of my erections was so hard, I told my partner "remember the injury I had? Well, it made my penis better." But even back in those days I lost my random erections. Morning erections seemed softer as well. Now though, I don't even get soft erections, but I know myself and I think it is mostly because of the horrible stress I have. Would you actually suggest trying to get an erection from time to time in order to support the circulation down there?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on July 13, 2019, 02:04:04 PM
Nocekgari:

My story is everything I said above and then the Rest... I went to the hospital, and they said I was good. Just give it a couple of days rest. The truth was far from that. Even minor fractures, you have to let them heal. That means no intercourse or masturbation for 6 weeks.  Erections will happen overnight like normally, depending on the function you have left still.

The softer erections you are having now are because you had a fracture. Nothing to do with stress.  Read above as to what will happen to your erections overnight. Later on, after 6 weeks have passed that's when you will be seeing what was the damage done.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 13, 2019, 02:49:55 PM
I see pfract, but unfortunatelly I didn't know I fractured my penis for the past 6 weeks and I masturbated and had sex. Also I rode a bicycle almost every day. Wish I knew those actions were harmful. I hope I didn't damage my penis even worse.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on July 13, 2019, 04:26:47 PM
Well. It still applies. Give it rest for the next 4 weeks at least. In the meantime, stay here and read about it.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on July 13, 2019, 06:42:35 PM
Yes. I'd slap you too. Please leave your PENIS BE! Trauma to any part of your body what does a doctor recommend? Leave it alone, don't test it, don't do anything that could cause more pain. My stupid self tested my penis way too damn much which I think slowed down the healing process greatly and may have even caused more damage.

You can read about my story in some of my posts. I had ED from Sept 2017 till April 2019. Seriously. I didn't see any change in my inflammatory state until I just left my penis alone and only applied heat to the area. My injury is still unknown because I haven't the means to get to a Peyronies specialist.  But I'm lucky to have no venous leak or any deformities except for a slight hourglass that goes away quickly from flaccid to erect. I have slight pain when flaccid and none erect.

But yeah. Lesson you should take from us all is to leave it be! Your penis will slowly recover, just apply heat and NOTHING more or take hot baths. Something along those lines. I'd say leave your penis alone for like 2 months or 3. Idk if you ever injured another body part before, but, usually injuries take months to heal up. The penis may take longer since it's flaccid state barely has blood flowing through it, which is why you wanna use heat before you go to bed. I'd also recommend sleeping commando to let the penis achieve nocturnal erections at full power.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 13, 2019, 08:08:09 PM
program4004, thanks for  making me laugh, I don't know why I laughed though, maybe the tone of your post...

I guess you no longer have Erectile Dysfunction, that is great news. Believe me,if I knew that I fractured my penis I would treat it like a newborn kitten. But no, I did the same as you and played with it. After the injury I didn't notice any hematoma but I just recently remembered there was an acne like bump. It occured the next day after the injury happened. It was probably the blood accumulated under the skin, I thought it was a coicidence.  It took 2-3 days to heal. Only if I knew...

It's amazing to see how mysterious our penises are. I broke 3 bones, had 3 plonidal sinus surgeries, even worst of them healed within 2 months without any compilcations. I never knew penis would take so much time to heal. We need more sciencetists on this.

Thanks for the advice by the way, applying heat sounds logical. I'll see my doctor two weeks later. I called him yesterday and he assured me there will be no irreversible damage. Even though I lost my trust, I guess I must take his word for that. My fracture wasn"t a big one, that I know. I might cause more damage to it in the past few weeks.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on July 13, 2019, 08:55:47 PM
Lol nice. I was trying to sound concerned. Which I definitely am. Yes our penises are weird definitely. Man, I still remember the state of my penis before. It was mind numbing. Also I couldn't stop testing it. I became obsessive. I mean I am somewhat because I wanna find out what is causing the occasional semi erect hourglassing. But I'm glad I don't have ED at least. But yes, leave it be man. Only heat, sleep, increase vegetables in diet and eat as you normally do. Before you know it you'll feel better than you are rn.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: diehardpatriot on July 14, 2019, 12:56:43 PM
Hey man,  I had peyronies before the fracture. However now I. H.a.v.e an additional scar that causes me pain because I didn't Rest it.

Hawk: if he is a healthy young man, he should have enough blood flow during night time erections for healing . Day time erections only harmed me after my injury especially ant being longer than 5 minutes
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 14, 2019, 05:11:32 PM
Injury happened on 30th of May

Fracture diagnosed on July 12

I woke up with a very healthy looking rock solid erection on July 11

Had sex 3 times on June 13, 14 and 15. Two of them were okay, lost my erection during one of them.

I masturbated almost everyday between July 1st and July 8th, erections seemed okay, although penis got soft right after ejeculation.

Right now there is absouletly no erections, not even morning erections since the diagnosis.

Do you think it is psychological? Or can it be mild Erectile Dysfunction? I really would like to hear some opinions on this.

My urologist asked me if I had erections after the "cowgirl incident", he said if I could, fracture can heal over time and it is not a very serious one.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on July 14, 2019, 05:17:25 PM
Hey Nocekgari:

read above for the replies people gave you. All the answers to your questions are there.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 14, 2019, 05:20:03 PM
I read all of them pfract, thanks for all the replies, that last post was an update after my observetions.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 20, 2019, 01:18:38 PM
An update

This morning I woke up with a morning wood. It was not very hard but it was OK. I couldn't look at it if there was anything unusual but I felt like my erect penis was leaning to the left a lot more than before. It was touching my left leg and when I tried to arrange it straight, my fractured area hurt like hell. So I stopped and went back to sleep. Later I called my uro, he wants me to send photos of my erect penis in order to see if the curve is serious. The problem is, I am completaly incapable of getting an erection under too much stress. It only happens when I sleep. Even thinking about having an erections makes my penis hide itself with more turtling. My only option is to wait for another morning wood and take photos of it. Despite all my problems it was nice to have an erection. Wish I could get them by watching some porn. Porn just makes me more anxious. Any suggestions to calm down and try getting an erection?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on July 20, 2019, 05:35:43 PM
Just keep letting the nocturnal ones happen. That's a good sign. That means blood is flowing. It will get stronger slowly. Since it hurts, do NOT engage in masturbation. It may take about 6 months for the pain to calm down okay. For me it took longer. So just be patient man. So far that sounds awesome.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 20, 2019, 06:56:46 PM
Thank you for your reply program4004. I tried getting an erection without any physical stimulation and I nearly succeded. But,I noticed my penis is now twisting when it is getting erect. It is not a peyronies dissease bend, but shaft starts twisting to the left. You know the central vein, I guess it is called dorsal vein, it is not on the center anymore, it is shifted to the left like the rest of the shaft. I noticed this twisting when it was flaccid, when I look at my penis from directly above, I can see it is turning. In semi erect state it was much more obvious and I just stopped trying to get an erection. What the hell is that twist thing now? Can penile fracture do that?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on July 20, 2019, 09:48:55 PM
To me that sounds like a blood flow issue. So I'd recommend seeing if you can get a prescription for low dose Cialis to keep blood flowing to prevent any sort of fibrosis. The bloodflow issue sounds like inflammation related issue. If you can, I'd recommend getting a Doppler ultrasound because the properties of it can detect issues with bloodflow and where it stems from easily. MRI may not be necessary, but, it's also accurate. Just patience man, aggravating it will increase inflammation. Remember make a rice sock. The process is simple. Take a sock, put about a cup of rice in it. Warm it up in the microwave aside a cup of water for about a minute. If it's too hot let it cool slightly and place it on your penis. This can be done once about an hour a day. This will help force the penis to relax and let blood flow into it preventing fibrosis and in some cases reverse it.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 22, 2019, 12:09:18 PM
Latest update and thanks everyone who helped me and concerned for me

Today I visitied my uro again. No pain during examination. He literally asked me to masturbate today. He didn't feel anything on my shaft. At this point his only concern was possible curvature. Also he told me my testicals are very full and this may be the cause of contractions. So... I went back home, visited my favorite naughty site. There was nothing at the beggining. I felt very nervous. But later, a magical moment, I got an erection! After almost a month. My congenital curve was there, I didn't notice any increase in curve degree. My erection seemed shorter than before though. Also, fractured area was very numb. I had surgeries before and doctors removed some tissue from my butt during these operations. That area is numb, no feeling at all. Now the same thing is happening on my penis. But I don't really care at this moment. I'll tell my uro about it. I was supposed to take photos to show my urologist, but I feared that I might lose my erection if I get distracted. Ejeculation was a bit numb too. I hope these are temporary effects of the fracture, since it is still healing and I should keep getting my medications still. I am just very happy to see my penis is working again. My uro put an emphassis on possible peyronies dissease in the long term but he said it's really like a lottery. So, I guess I'll go with no-masturbation thing for a little more time. Psychological barrier is destroyed. Now I am ready to fight the next thing. I know I am not healed yet and there may be permanent damage. As long as it works, I am OK. I am okay with loosing an inch or two. I am Okay with slightly increased curve.

Again, thanks everyone. I'll keep reading and writing on this forum. This place is a safe haven for guys like me.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hontas on July 24, 2019, 06:50:28 PM
diehardpatriot and Nocekgari

I can say that your experiences are so similar to mine, i might have had a minor fracture that went undiagnosed as i had swelling and bruising,also i think the fracture was really small and didn't affect my erectile capacity. However i had non stop peyronies since then, i never had fracture like symptoms after the first trauma or erectile dysfunction when i get fully aroused. But the fact is that probably that unhealed minor scar caused me to have peyronies due to loss of flexibility and a tendency to have fibrosis. I now have almost 0 erectile dysfunction corpora wise but new scars occur

I have read somewhere that in young people(<30) peyronies more often than not is trauma related and heals well but repeats itself for countless times so you get stuck in this cycle. It is really crap since you lose elasticity and get injured often. Hey at least i didn't lose any noticable erectile capacity(when it is healed) and size but the pain and continous acute phase sometimes makes you lose erection. Try colchicine, it helps while healing
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 25, 2019, 04:09:25 PM
Thanks for the reply Hontas. I am actually taking colchicine and so far it is a miracle. I also take vitamin E and Melox forte ( basically a painkiller but it helps spongy tissue to heal). On july 12 I had pain and it was bad. It was constant. I could feel the fracture underneath my skin. After just two weeks pain decreased significantly. I sent my erection photos to my uro, he told me my curve is not bad at all. I'll see him in a week again and I guess he'll tell me I am fine. Because I feel fine to be honest. Masturbated twice, fractured area hurt a little but I was very gentle. My uro recomended me to masturbate so it is justified too :) I even had a random erection today. First time after thr injury. But, my penis is still far from being OK. Hard flaccid remains, bumpy train rides hurts too and unfortunately I have to take the train everyday to go to work. I guess I finally made peace with the situation. Very unfornute accident happened and it damaged me, but I was lucky to have a small fracture. Medications I currently take supposed to prevent peyronies plaque development. There is still a long road ahead. I dont think I can have sex for a long time, mainly because I know I will focus on my injury rather than going with the flow.

How do you know you are getting mew scars? Can you feel them by touching even though there is no fibrosis? I guess you are right about getting stuck in a injury cycle. My uro told me to be very careful in the future and he recomended me to stick with the safest sex positions all the time. Wish I knew which one is the safest.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hontas on July 25, 2019, 08:06:15 PM
Well, i didnt get much help from any Uro s and wasnt gentle at all at first. So i had more scarring and pain. However after a while i realized even when i was VERY careful, new scarring occured. So fast forward to today and its worse. I suggest you join my topic that is about young people having peyronies, I am pretty sure you are not set to go because i started with only 5 degree minimal curve and after a few more bad incidents and urologists not being careful enough it became worse. Just join the topic and help us gather more sample size, risk factors, and genetic predisositions.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on July 29, 2019, 06:46:26 PM
Woke up with an intense pain last night. Like, I was being stabbed in my penis. It was flaccid. Pain lasted for 15 seconds. I literally crawld in my bed. I am going to see my doctor again today. This was very unplesant. Just when I thought it was getting better. I dont know if I did something wrong in my sleep. Pain decreased during the day but it continued. Very obvious hard flaccid and turtling too. Also, muscle spazms in my left leg and groin and contractions. That is just enough, it is a mental torture. Even if I healed a bit, whole proccess probably is garbage now.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on July 29, 2019, 07:39:11 PM
How do you usually sleep? Also have you been going commando to let your penis breathe? I'd recommend sleeping on your back and commando to give your penis space to have proper erections, I wish I would have done it sooner lol. I hope the doctor finds out what's going on!
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on August 01, 2019, 01:42:02 AM
Program4004,I sleep like an egyptian mummy.

Saw the doc again. My fracture is still there and he felt a hard bump. Erections and masturbations are forbidden. He thinks it may cause Erectile Dysfunction by bypassing a vain during healing proccess. Also he said it may curve once it is healed. So, not good news. I am devestated. He told me surgery is not possible because it is too late, it is already healing itself in a bad way.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on August 01, 2019, 05:24:18 AM
Damn I'm so sorry man. :( This disease sucks.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hontas on August 01, 2019, 07:04:29 AM
Yeah come i suggest you should try experimental drugs as well as join in to help us maybe fund a research for this. Its not gonna get better. I have a fair amount of knowledge on what we can start the study on. Also if you try OD ing on Colchicine you will probably still survive and it would suck living like that. That or either you are going to have a very painful and almost radiation posioning like death so i suggest otherwise
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on August 01, 2019, 09:30:27 AM
You sound weird Hontas.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hontas on August 01, 2019, 10:45:35 AM
Yeah the guy calls me weird because i tell him not to commit suicide with drugs. Honestly after that post, i couldn't care less about you. Have a go at it yourself and see you later in like a year.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on August 01, 2019, 12:07:53 PM
Hontas, Well, I didn't understand your post,commicting suicide with colchine never crossed my mind so I could,'t get what you meant by that. Also, I picked the wrong word to express my confusion. Sorry about that. I appreciete your help. I thought you were suggesting me to drop colchine or I would experience radiation poisining like pain,or even death.

Edit: just remembered I actually said I consider OD'ing with colchine, then I heard it is the worst way to go. You probably  refered to that. Jesus, I've been really confused lately. Sorry again man.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on August 01, 2019, 04:57:19 PM
Hontas: how can you say that he would probably survive colchicine, considering how toxic to the body it is and the warnings that come on the medicine information paper?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hontas on August 01, 2019, 05:27:12 PM
pfract,

a person can get like 15-20 tablets and still survive as some people really have good health in terms of renal and hepatic function and that most of the time decides whether you live or not. Its just more likely that before you take all the tablets you are going to suffer from extreme poisoning and probably survive it with bad complications since you are not an 80 year old man. Our bodies are not that fragile in terms of poisoning, its all about the dose and even in some people that dose can be 10 times higher than lethal dose and you can still live due to your bodily functions. But we are getting out of topic here, and i am just trying to tell that it is one of the worst ways to go and suicide should not be on a mentally healthy man's mind.

Nocekgari

No problem. Colchicine is anti-mitotic and thats why it helps the disease stop from producing extreme amounts of fibroblasts. Also colchicine concentrations are almost 600 times higher in white blood cells than your serum concentrations so they actively stop inflammation by denying mitosis and function. It is really effective in that sense. The thing is if you increase the concentration your body stops mitosis and you can imagine the rest... I just gave it as an example as i think it would be similar to radiation poisoning if you tried to OD with it.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on August 01, 2019, 06:12:23 PM
Honestly, suicidal thoughts comes and goes. A week ago I was OK. Now, I have to wait and "observe". I can't do neither of these things because I am afraid to look at my penis. That's where I am right now. I am a stranger to a part of mine. Even taking a shower or pissing brings tears to my eyes. My flaccid penis looks different. It looks normal for a penis, I mean if another person sees it he or she would think nothing is wrong with it. But I know ehat it used to look like and what it looks like now. It looks like it is bending upwards. Tip of my flaccid penis is pointing upwards. I feel it in my underwear. I have to adjust it to make it feel as it did before the injury. Now I have to wait 3 months (doc will see it every 20 days) and the outcome is uncertain. Doctor mentioned one of his patients who has similar symptoms to me. But he had extreme Erectile Dysfunction from the beginning. Finally doc offered him an implant since he had vascular leak and even injections didnt help him to get an erection. In my case, I was having very hard erections last week. I dont know if I will get a vascular leak at this point but hearing that poor man's story made me increadbly sad. Why would my doctor bring this thing up? Although he seems very sure that I won't get extreme Erectile Dysfunction like the other guy. Also, he told me he is feeling a hard thing. He claims it is the fracture itself. I asked him if the hard thing is a peyronies plaque and he said no. Yet, curvature is possible after scar heals. What to do with this information? It was just a damn cracking sound without any pain or bruising. And look where I am right now. They should teach these things in schools. If I knew I could get a fracture that easily I would happily stick with masturbation my whole life. Seriously. In 5 hours I have to wake up and go to work, but I dont want to. Because I have to shower in the morning and see my penis for 5 minutes. It's like, one day I woke up with some other guys penis and I have to live with that. My whole life is fractured after the incident. Colchicine, vitamin e and some painkiller called melox fort....I dont think they work. But I am really tired of seeing different doctors every 10 days. I spent all of my savings and taking money from my father. Can't even buy a flipping wardrobe for my new room. For what? For waiting? You know the joke about hell?  A man dies and goes to a place that looks quite decent. A demon approaches him and tells him he is dead and this is hell. Then, very hot women approaches him and starts flirting with the guy, kissing and teasing him. Guy looks surprised and asks to demon: "what is my punishment?" Demon smiles and points to the man's pants. "You will never get hard".

Well, this is my life now. It is hell and it is a joke. In my office I am the only guy. Surrounded with many beautiful young woman. Even older ladies  show some attention. I see some of them checking me out from time to time and I am sitting on my desk, avoiding eye contact. Trying not to get an erection. In the mean time, my mind is in a civil war. Sexual fantasies starts bombarding. I counter them with the least sexy thoughts available in my mind. Football, excel sheet in front of me, distance between the sun and earth and calculating how much time would it take to travel to sun with the speed of 100kmph...then I go back home at 8 pm and cry, call my father, make him worried as hell, then feel bad for doing that. Then, I start reading on this forum. And this will continue for another 3 months, but in the end I may have to get a surgery too! I have a  weak character and watching it get lower and lower every day. If, things turn out badly,  I dont think I will keep looking for trearment options and accept my fate as an asexual human being. Maybe even ask doctors to remove my desire at once. Or, well, an easier option,  buying a gun with the money I finally save since I stop paying for doctors and drugs, and pulling the trigger.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on August 01, 2019, 06:39:29 PM
I'm wondering if Peyronies is genetic. Like none of my family members have it but I do after one traumatic incident. I have to. Like I get erections on and off. But it still feels somewhat uncomfortable. And I'm wondering if that is because I always tried testing my erections. I'm wondering if this is my life now. Like my penis flaccid always feels like it's trying to get hard if that makes sense. But it's flaccid and feels uncomfortable walking. Until I get medical care, but who knows when I can't see the extent of my damage. At least you have a doctor you can go to. The first one I went to was an a$$hole. He didn't wanna do a Doppler ultrasound 2 months into the injury, didn't wanna prescribe anything whatsoever. He just said wait and see. This was like 2 years ago. And just like you I feel the same way. I don't feel happy. I try but I just want my life to end. I wish I would have respected my penis and limited masturbation more and used lubrication. So many things you don't understand until it's too late. F~@< life.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hontas on August 02, 2019, 08:40:40 AM
program4004

can you tell me what type of other disease's or minor health problems you have? Do you or your family have any cardiovascular problems? Do you have mild hypertension, or a recent Electrocardiograph? Also how old are you if i may ask?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on August 02, 2019, 01:02:34 PM
I don't have any major health issues and no hypertension or anything. In fact more and more I look at it, for how bad I use to have it, it looks like it was completely related to trauma and nothing else.

Nobody in both sides of my family have this issue or had it. But remember Hontas, I don't have a proper diagnosis yet so cannot say if I even have Peyronies Disease. I think I'm a hypochondriac. My description shows my history. Also as I got older I realized what maybe use to get me going doesn't anymore. So yeah, I don't have ED or anything too bad as I thought. I'm dead serious. But for a long-time I had major ED. It's in my signature. I don't take any drugs at all to help with erections or anything. Also don't take any drugs in managing whatever I had.

I also never fractured anything, so that seems to be a major reason why I probably don't have any ED, but what I did do years ago definitely caused some major inflammation for it to last for more than a year. Only thing I've noticed is that I have more pelvic tension, so it feels like I'm always clenching, but, that maybe because I tried forcing erections back then when it was injured in order to get blood flowing to prevent loss of function. I didn't do heat therapy until start of 2019 which helped reduce pain for myself till I had none. I don't do traction because it's too risky and I don't wanna do that.

All I can say is at the time my issue was 100 percent related to acute injury nothing underlying.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hontas on August 02, 2019, 01:39:54 PM
So it doesn't even bend, or?... If it bends its peyronies, especially if you have no ED but only a bend.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on August 02, 2019, 02:03:10 PM
No bending sir or hourglassing when fully erect. But I'm still monitoring cause of what happened with NeoV and others with a similar case. But he has an immediate  family history of it. Rn I'm still gonna make sure to diet and what not (not keto or anything) just calorie counting to lose excess weight which tbh probably made my wound healing a LOT slower than it needed to be.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on August 02, 2019, 02:41:12 PM
Nocekgari: nothing of what I told you, you listened to. Why?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on August 02, 2019, 03:15:10 PM
Pfract, I really appreciate your help. It's just, I am struggling so bad psychologicaly. I cry every single night. When I read your or anybody elses comments, I understand and believe them. But in hours,I get lost in my thoughts. I offended hontas yesterday because I forgot about what I said before, therefore didnt understand what he meant. You probably think I am not taking you guys' comments seriously. Your experiences and help is very valuable to me. I am just, mentally broken. Btw, I am resting my penis. Although I get erections during the day, when I see a woman in my office strech on her desk, or if one of them wear a mini skirt etc. (Weirdly I am increadbly into woman lately,in a pervetish way, I have very weird sexual dreams lately) Erections are not painful, but afterwards, pain begins. Lately I started feeling pain on my bladder. My doc suggested me to do a urine test. On tuesday, I'll piss in a cup, hand it to the specialist and eat my fingernails and wait for the results.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on August 02, 2019, 03:50:49 PM
It does not mean you will loose erectile function completely. Right now, the best thing for you to do is to remain calm and try to cope. I have been through the same. The fact is nothing people tell you will help you out because you are in such a great distress.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: diehardpatriot on August 08, 2019, 03:04:38 AM
My gosh man, I'd give you a hug if I were there right now bro. I know how you feel right now. I cried for almost a month straight . I know the pain. You have to have faith man. The bad thing in life is that all things even good are only temporary. The good thing in like is that all things even bad are just temporary, remember that. In the end, there is always a solution, always. No matter what, you will be happy. But right now, it is crucial you take our advise so you don't make your situation worse. Do not erection check, do not let yourself even get aroused for at least 3 weeks. Do ALL you can to prevent worsening. I HIGHLY recommend that you fast or at the very least eat keto from now on until this passes. You want to minimize inflammation at all costs
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on August 08, 2019, 03:56:42 PM
diehardpatriot, thanks for your thoughtful words. If I could, I would hug every single poor soul who is suffering from fractures or peyronies. It's joke of a dissease really. Well, we do it via our keybords and that helps too.

I guess I'll be able to cope with it after some time. My doctor seems very confident about me not getting permanent damage. But all the stories I read and hear says otherwise. Even if I won't get peyronies or Erectile Dysfunction, my penis will never be like its pre fracture self. Yes, I know and I avoid any sexual stimulant even it makes me upset. Wish I knew I had a fracture in the first month, because I did every wrong thing I should've  avoid. Sex, masturbation( no lotion, sometimes vigorous), forcing erections etc... I am pretty sure I made my situation worse. I even consider suing my first uro eho told me there is absoulutely nothing wrong with me. He charged me 150 dollars, this is a huge amount for Turkey. Minimum wage here is around 380 dollars...

I guess there is always a way to get erections. Hawk once told me if your penis isn't chopped off, there is a way to fix it. This is a long and hard process (no pun intended) and it will happen. I am trying to live as a person who has no sexual desire at all. Even if this fracture heals, I will need to heal my mental state and it will probably take more time. Still, no matter how lonely you feel, there is always people who share your pain and understand you. Lets wait and see what is going to happen. This is the only thing to do after all.


Btw, urine test came out clean. One less thing to worry about.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on August 12, 2019, 06:31:14 AM
Hello again, I am writing on this topic mainly because I think it turned into a journal of my injury or so called "healing proccess" which people can follow easily. A week later I have my regular uro control. Yesterday I had pain whole day. Hard flaccid was horrible, also I had pain in my pelvic area, even my anus had contractions and pain. My night time erections seem to get weaker and weaker. Today I woke up with a half erection. It was very hard though, mainly because of the hard flaccid. This thing makes you rock hard but you can tell its not a full erection. No visible increase in congenital curvature. Urinating can be a little bit painful sometimes,especcialy if my urine is toxic, dark yellow. I have no idea what is going on under my penis skin and it scares me. Nothing to do but waiting and observing. My shaft looks bumpy, veins look more visible too. It has been 2 and a half months since the initial injury. It got better after 45 days but later pain came back, probably I did something wrong during my sleep.

Well, it's not getting better for now, but no obvious signs for worsening either. Just wanted to update. I keep taking colchicine, vitamin e and a painkiller/tissue healar called melox forte.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on August 25, 2019, 08:50:48 AM
Update:

Last week I had my regular control. Uro felt the scar, but he said it got much better in the last 25 days. Also, I felt almost no pain during hand examination. He said "hard part is over,you may relax,it will completely heal with mininim complications. Colchicine and vitamin e should prevent any plaque development,only problem could be curvature."

After doctor's explanation, I really relaxed. Masturbation and sex is still forbidden. But, after the appointment, my erections came back! Like nothing happened down there. I got boners during the day, woke with morning woods every morning etc. Also, curve was still the same. My congenital curve which measures 18-20 degrees. It was really hard not to masturbate. I am on nofap for a month, but last night I finally had a wet dream. During my sleep,I could actualy felt a slight pain furing ejeculation, it was not really comfrtable.

Hard flaccid is occasional now. Sometimes I feel very normal and sometimes it comes back. After my wet dream, it came back. Hopefuly I didn't cause any damege in my sleep. I am not in pain anymore, at least it is minimal. I guess things are getting better. But it still needs time. I asked my uro if there is anything I could do to stop  fibrosis. He said medications should be enough. Another thing, I had like 10 hand examinations from 3 different docs so far and none of them felt any plaque or fibrosis. I guess that clears I had no Peyronies Disease so far. Hopefuly it will not start after some time. I read an artical about penile fracture and Peyronies Disease. It was studied among penile fracture patients who had surgical treatment. None of them got Peyronies Disease after 85 months. In my case, my treatment is not surgical, but it's a minor fracture and there are some studies that actually recomend conservative treatment for minor fractures. I couldn't find any study about the outcome of non surgical fracture treatment.

Well, still waiting. Wet dream took away some tension. I was really horny in the last couple of weeks. I'll be observing for curvature and update after the next uro appointment.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on August 25, 2019, 12:42:01 PM
This is in line with what you were told here. Keep it up!
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: diehardpatriot on August 27, 2019, 10:18:15 AM
Glad you are abstaining man. Keep doing all you can and try to relax and enjoy life
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on August 28, 2019, 01:39:09 AM
pfract and diehardpatriot, thank you for your replies. Unfortunetely I noticed the increase of curvature this morning. Since I don't masturbate, I didn't really see my penis fully erect in the last couple of weeks. This morning though, I decided to check my morning wood, and there it was. At least 30 degrees to the left. Weird thing is, curve  doesn't start on the fractured area, instead it starts about one and a half inch above my fracture. My morning woods caused some discomfort in the last months after the injury. Not pain, but a discomfort. Like it was not elastic anymore. Direction of my erect penis was much more stubborn. Is this considered Peyronies Disease or is it due to the healing fracture? My congenital curve was a smooth one. It was not a sudden bend.  It still looks like that but angle is is bigger now. I tried to take a photo of it in order to document and to shoe my uro but I lost my erection immediately.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on August 28, 2019, 02:12:05 PM
It's one of the things that can happen. But keep following the plan. When it heals up properly, then you decide what to do next. Maybe traction and ved. For now, abstain and follow the plan.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on August 31, 2019, 11:28:14 AM
Had to visit my doctor earlier than it schedueled, because I noticed a swollen vein. Doctor wanted me to see him in order to check for thrombosis. Turned out, vein is normal. But, he felt a completely different nodule in the opposite side of my fracture. During examination I felt minimal pain, new nodule was painless too, but he didn't understand what it is. He claims it is not on the penile shaft, rather in the scrotum.

He said I still need time, fracture is almost healed. He'll give me a medication for erections one month later. I still have 6 months to see if my curve got worse. Btw, he didnt feel any plaque anywhere in my penis. What do you think? Is it a sign I won't get peyronies?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hawk on August 31, 2019, 12:01:55 PM
This topic really has very little to do with the title (depression/ suicide) even in the earlier posts on the topic.  I am likely to change the title and move it.  If/when I do I will leave a link here to the new location.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on August 31, 2019, 01:28:13 PM
You're right Hawk,I am sorry for this. But, I have some more bad news regarding my problem. It turned out I didn't suffer from a  small fracture. It was a regular fracture, it just so happens to miss a large vein, therefore I did,'t had any bleeding. This new information left me increadbly depressed and hopeless. I always assumed I had a minor fracture, but I literally have a big fracture left untreated. At this point, I am totally convinced I am the most unlucky guy alive. I don't expect anything from life anymore. Just letting myself go with the flow.  Some bad luck and a mistake made me a 25 year old with an increadbly dark future.

Good people of this forum. I thank you once again. I don't think I will be able to cope with this. I tried but new bad news came, I just can't  handle it, being completaly alone and hopeless, and poor...I am getting drunk tonight, so drunk that I will not even know that I am a human being. I dont care about causimg more damage, since at the end, I will probably just end it with my own hands.

Dear Hawk, if you move this topic or change the title, I hope it will still be visible to those who heard a "cracking sound" and got worried. If you hear a cracking sound, go get your surgery immediately and stop losing time.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on August 31, 2019, 06:33:15 PM
How did he diagnose the fracture? Was it an Ultrasound?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on September 01, 2019, 06:21:24 AM
Hi program4004, there was no ultrasound. He simply felt the fracture with his hand. I can also feel it under my skin. A small bean sized bump, its middle is empty, sides are hard and makes a little ring shaped bump.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on September 01, 2019, 07:54:39 AM
Interesting. I'd still try to rule it out with a scan too if you can afford it. But I guess he doesn't feel the need to. It's weird that it didn't become an eggplant shape.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on September 01, 2019, 08:22:40 AM
At this point I wish it looked like an eggplant immediately after the fracture. If that was the case, I would get the surgery asap and by now I would be healed and all operational again. What are the odds,right?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on September 14, 2019, 07:06:03 PM
Just lost my battle against nofap and masturbated without my doctors approval...today was day 50, I ejeculated during my sleep once on day 28. 5 days later I have my regular uro visit schedueled.

I was checking whether or not I have venous leakage. Tried to maintain an erection by watching nsfw gifs on reddit. I had a very hard erection which did not look like it was going to fade away,so I began stroking my penis very gently. I immediately felt the sensation, until this point I was thinking about stopping, but there was that one gif... I simply lost control and got faster with stroking. Just in a minute I exploded. there was no pain. Only weird thing I felt was the very slight uncomfortable feeling on the fractured area.

On the plus side, I was expecting another wet dream soon and I was afraid to have it, since I wouldnt be in control and last time it was  painful. I gently emptied my testicals which was probably goinf to happen in a couple of nights while sleeping.

On the bad side, I didnt follow the instructions and did the wrong thing. Although recommened time for nofap was 4-6 weeks and I was already completed that. But I fear I might cause some more damage down there. Last time I saw my uro he told me he will give me cialis and let me masturbate, or in Turkish, do a "31". But I still have flaccid pain from time to time and hard flaccid happens occasionaly. Wish I didnt masturbate today, but I believe its better to gently relaese backed up semen rather then having a wet dream in a weird sleeping position.

Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on September 17, 2019, 09:27:39 AM
After 110 days,I believe my fracture finally healed and as expected it resulted increased curveture. My congenital curve was around 10 degrees. Right now I curve to the left more dramaticaly and sharply. It is between 20-30 degrees. My doctor told me operation is not necessary at this point, but curve may increase. Curve is indeed increasing and it is happening fast. A month ago I only had my congenital curve. Also, my fractured area looks tinner in erect state compared to other sides if my penis.

Is this considered peyronies dissease? I don't have ED at all, also no pain or size loss during erections. I dont now if thinning can be considered hourglassing.  I want your opinions and suggestions please.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hawk on September 17, 2019, 04:00:08 PM
Technically a fracture with a scared repair is not Peyronies Disease.  That is what happens to any body part with normal healing.  What would make it Peyronies Disease is if the scar tissue continues to overrun healthy non-damaged tissue which may or may not happen.

It is great that you don't have Peyronies Disease.  While ED is not uncommon with Peyronies Disease it is not a necessary component of Peyronies Disease.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on September 17, 2019, 05:24:58 PM
Thank you Hawk. I guess if it did turned into peyronies I would experience pain during erections, but so far it looks like damaged tissue is causing the curve increase rather than fibrosed peyronie plaque or yet to be fibrosed tissue.

Also, last time you mentioned moving this topic since it is no longer about the psychological component of the dissease. It is more like "my untreated penile fracture story". I believe changing the title to something similar would make some questions clear for those who suffered the same thing. Because there is so little texts and articles about conservative treatment of penile fractures and it really worried me not to find anybody with a similar condition, except for pfract of course. So far my journey goes exactly like it is described here, mostly by pfract. After 3 and a half months pain is gone, HF became rare, turtling is no more, psychologicaly, I am much better, since I csn get fully erect within seconds and I can maintain my erection. Curve doesn't scare me too much. I'll probably dive into VED or traction once I enjoy having a working penis for a while :)

No matter what happens in the long term, I'll be around and try to answer questions as much as possible here.

Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on September 17, 2019, 08:53:04 PM
I'm glad for that part where you mention me and what i said. Hopefully you rest assured a little bit. It's been 4.5 years for me, and my curvature hasn't worsened, save for a minor re-injury on August 2018. I gained a slight curvature to the left, but it has been like that.

Stay on top of it, and if necessary try traction and VED therapy. If you feel like it, take viagra before sex so it helps with anxiety if you are feeling it.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hontas on September 19, 2019, 12:13:46 AM
Nocekgari, do you have psoriasis or any type of Arthiritis in your family? Do you have colorectal or breast cancer in any of your relatives? Can you PM me about the details of your risk factors?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on September 19, 2019, 07:16:42 AM
I PM'd you Hontas. My father has high colesterol and my mother had a heart attack couple years back. Heart dissease is very common in my family. Nobody got cancer as far as I remember though.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on September 19, 2019, 03:58:09 PM
I have a very full update

Just visited my uro. I have good news and several bad news

Good news is, my fracture is completely healed. I can masturbate, but should stay away from sex for a little longer. Also, he didnt prescribe me cialis. My erections are fine. Regarding my curve, he concluded that my curve is not as bad as it seems. I dont know how to describe it but my my penis looks to the left starting from the bottom, where it meets my body. I mean, its not a bend on the shaft,I have that too but its a mild one, my whole penis is leaning to the left rather than starting straight and bending to the left somewhere on the shaft. He told me this type of curve shouldn't cause any trouble for intercourse and he doesnt expect it to worsen over time

Bad news 1:  I have fibrosis. Scar tissue is hard and doc says it is permanent, he said it is not peyronies. Peyronies is a progressive dissease and it has nothing to do with a healed fracture scar. Still, I dont think I am clear from peyronies

Bad news 2: I have varicosel...that, I wasn't expecting. One month later I'll have ultrasound and probably going to have surgery. I mever noticed it but he immediately found it. He was checking for the nodule he felt in my scrotum during the last examination. Btw, it is still there too and ultrasound was planned for that im the first place. But since I have varicosele too, it'll be a weird experience for sure.

Bad news 3: I have penile cysts under my glans. I was avare of them, but doc decided to remove them. He says its a  very simple procedure.

I am waiting for your comments.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: TonySa on September 19, 2019, 04:46:25 PM
Congrats on all the good news.  Before undergoing the recommended surgery I would research the procedures and the doc very well.  As well, always a good idea to get a second independent opinion before undergoing surgery.  Good luck and keep us posted!
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on September 19, 2019, 06:18:15 PM
Yes. I fully agree with Tony. The first urologist that ''treated'' me after my fracture said I needed to be circumcised, when I never had and still don't have problems with my penile skin. He just wanted money. If your fracture is fully healed up, you are free to resume sexual activity. If your fracture was so minor, what are you exactly waiting for? For what to heal?

Be very cautious about going for unnecessary surgery.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on September 20, 2019, 12:32:05 AM
TonySa and pfract, thank you for your comments. He said I may require surgery if my varicosele problem looks bad on ultrasound. I've been doing some digging and most people live with varicosele for a long time and my case looks not so bad, I can't see the hardened veins. Well, its least of my concerns right now anyways.

And my cyst promblem, they were there for at least 15 years, since my circumcision and only once thy became infected.

I agree with you both. He is determined to perform surgery on me :) I'll get more opinions for them.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on September 28, 2019, 09:13:48 AM
Done buddy.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on September 30, 2019, 03:31:24 PM
Hello again.  I have some questions. Today is the end of 4th month. I am feeling good. Masturbating a little bit too much maybe but they don't feel painful at all. (I masturbated almost everyday in the last 10 days, maybe skipped one or two). Curve seems the same, flaccid pain is copletely gone, HF still remains though. But...I think I lost some girth. My hand doesn't feel full as before, lenght looks OK but girth seems to be effected. Am I imagining things or not? Sometimes I don't really want to masturbate but doing it just because I can and when I masturbate without any psychological arousal, my erections are not as good. I can understand that, I was always like this. Masturbating everyday or masturbating without arousal always made my erections kinda week. Due to HF, my penis feels very hard during an erection but I can tell it's an "unwilling" erection. Can this be the reason I feel like I am loosing girth? Maybe because of the lack of elasticity on the scar area? Another thing, I get no morning woods. Only half erections, also no random erections during the day. But with stimulation, I can get hard easily. Concerns concerns.... What do you think?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on September 30, 2019, 07:04:01 PM
Man... You say you still have very good erectile function. Before my fracture, I never had morning wood. I used to masturbate everyday. Only when I was without masturbating for 2/3 days is that I would have morning wood.

I don't think you would loose girth in such a short time. Try to measure properly with a tape pm you have a comparison base and stay on top of it! Have you tried popping a Viagra or Cialis pill, Just to see how your erections are with the help of the pill?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on October 03, 2019, 03:42:41 PM
Hi everyone, I have a kind of a weird quetion. Lately I started smoking weed on a weekly basis. Once, maybe twice a week. I don't know where but somewhere I read smoking weed can be a reason for peyronies. What do you think? Should I quit it?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Godisreal on October 03, 2019, 05:35:46 PM
Nocegari, if you're smoking pure weed, that definitely doesn't have the same bad affect for blood flow and arteries as cigarettes and spliffs.
I wouldn't smoke too much weed tho, in a situation like yours anyways. Better safe than sorry
Peace brother
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Godisreal on October 04, 2019, 02:54:02 AM
Guys, everyone who sees this, please answer with your best knowledge regarding this;
Last night I was sleeping pretty good with a lot of L-Arginine in my system.
I woke up suddenly by sharp pain which I don't know was in my dream or in reality..
I had a raging boner btw, my fear is that I might have fractured it while sleeping
There is no signs of it tho, but since I had the boner when the pain occurred I am terrified
I'm waiting for your answers
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on October 06, 2019, 12:31:04 AM
Were u wearing underpants or sleeping on your side? If the pain is gone then I wouldn't worry.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Godisreal on October 06, 2019, 04:36:38 AM
program4004 Hey man thanks for answering. Nothing swollen and just the pain I've had long before that. The pain is almost gone now too.
Even tho I'm stuck with a 30 degree upward curvature, saw it first today.
My congenial curvature has been 15 degrees for all my life.
I'm afraid that I'm f'~c<+d now, there's no knowing whether or not you're fine or not in this mess
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on October 16, 2019, 04:17:27 PM
It has been a while since I updated this topic. Yesterday I had to visit a doctor because of an anal abscess. He drained it in the most painful way. It was intense. Anyways, I am currently resting, taking antibiotics and my ass is covered with bandages. I have to get them replaced every single day.

Unfortunately, I can't get an erection no matter how hard I try. I don't know if it has anything to do with my anal problem. Today I was home all day and got obssesed with getting an erection. It became an obsession. I've been watching porn for 3 hours at least. If I don't watch porn, I watch NSFW gifs on reddit etc. Masturabated twice, ejeculated twice but not one single good erection. Only half erections before ejeculating. Wtf is happening? I was all good 5 days ago. Had one morning wood in the last 5 days. It was not a raging boner but it was OK I guess.

Is it possible to get ED even 5 months later? I was doing just fine, very happily masturbating with my slightly bent penis. Now, my penis doesn't work. I don't know, maybe because I got obsessed with it? I was only thinking about getting an erection and nothing else during masturbation.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on October 16, 2019, 07:01:03 PM
Your erectile function can definitely be affected by your mental state... Let this anal issue sort itself and then focus again on your situation.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: TonySa on October 17, 2019, 02:36:22 PM
I suspect it's the pain.  Don't jerk off if not hard as you could cause more trauma and worsen peyronies.  Wait until the pain subsides.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on October 23, 2019, 03:48:23 PM
Hello everyone

I am approaching 6th month. I am thankful for my current state. Nothing seems too wrong. Erections are good. I cant say great because I get so few morning woods. Random erections completely dissapeared from my daily life. But, I can get fully erect very easily when I want to. Las week I had to deal with a stupid butt problem that drained all my libido. But right now I am feeling great. Ejeculations feels a bit weird due to the scar tissue. It feels like there is still  something wrong but I can take it. Curve seems stabilized at 20-25 degrees to left. As I mentioned before, my penis leans left side from its root. It's not a sudden bend on the shaft. I keep taking my regular medication.

I dont know what will happen in next months but I feel like I am about to leave this all behind. It was (is) a roller coaster ride for me. Made me question so many things about myself. I got to know gay community, learnt so much about trans people. Made some friends from lgbt community. This injury changed my perspective on so many things. I was never a homophobic person, but I never tried to really understand gay people. ( in turkey lgbt movement is strong,  but idiotic public opinion and government pressure makes life so hard for gay community, this is why I always felt like I could at least try to understand these people but something kept me from trying harder. Until my sexuality got trapped in limbo. I am not going to say whole gender thing is constructed, but it is also not as simple as having a penis or a vagina to define a person's sexuality)

Maybe I am not better than my former self. My body isn't. It is worse. I lost so much weight, I have gray hair at the age of 25, I always look tired. 5 months of intense stress shows its effects. But, mentaly, I am better. I am stronger, more open minded, more mature.

I'm still around. Pm me any time.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: xskarma on November 09, 2019, 03:48:06 PM
I had to take morphine just reading that :(

I have no questions. As a fellow man, I wish you a quick recovery.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on November 10, 2019, 05:23:00 AM
xskarma and TonySa, thank you both. After 5 and a half months, I can say I am much much better. Erectile function is good. HF is gone! My only problem is the weird sensation on the fractured area. Neither I nor my doc feel any hardening or plaque. My curve is slightly inreased but it seems to be stabilized at 20-25 degrees.

What a nightmare that whole thing was though.I'd give anything to not experiencing a thing like that.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: melting on November 10, 2019, 07:39:53 AM
Ever thought about applying a transdermal creme to the site of the remaining issues? DMSO + something anti calcification/scar could help you there over time. Maybe your doc would be open to that too.. sounds like you have a good one.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Godisreal on November 10, 2019, 07:42:32 PM
melting, could please give me a few examples of transdermal cremes. Like Verapamil creme? Or what exactly do you mean? Btw glad to hear you're doing better Nocekgari
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on November 23, 2019, 11:34:36 AM
Guys, after 6 months, pain is back and it brought HF with it. Very unplesant news. This may be my fault. I dropped my medicine for a week, drunk  litres of beer every day, masturbated like a 12 year old and now my fractured area is very sensitive to touching. Turtling is back too. Called my doctor, he told me to keep taking colchicum and vitamin e for another 2 months and only then he will decide what to do.

6 months after the fracture, I suspect peyronies may be on its way. My erections are very very hard and I can easily get one whenever I want. But whole shaft leans to left very obviously. It feels lika a stuck  piece of wood, I can easily break it if I make a sudden move or try to straighten it during an erection. I guess this is permanent, it's very uncomrftable. But with pain coming back now, I'm afraid to have ED or curve increase may be on their way as well...
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: melting on January 05, 2020, 08:57:50 AM
Only saw that post now. Hope you're back on track after your bad spell..?

With peyronies we have to make continuous right decisions to get some improvement. Feeling bad when we mess up we can only do for a short time and then readjust to keep going ;)
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on January 06, 2020, 03:43:21 PM
Thank you melting. Wish I could readjust. At 8th month, my condition is a bit confusing. I am now dealing with an anal fistula. An inflamatory condition that effects whole pelvic area. Since it has begun I am experiencing Erectile Dysfunction. I don't know if it is because of the fistula or the fracture. I am so depressed and sad all the time. But not freaking out anymore. I just can't believe how unlucky I am. Fracturewas bad enough but now I have to geta surgery because I have infection all the time in my buttocks, tighs and even some near the scrotum. It just drained my confidence and my libido. I can't help but pity myslef man. I am a 25 year old with a broken dick and   an ass with secret tunnels getting filled with crap and pus all the time. I  have the risk of shitting my pants after the procedure since they will cut my rectal muscles. Only god knows what it does to my penis. It's a serios joke, nobody is laughing, but it's a joke, it gotta be. I am living in a never ending nightmare for the past 8 months and struggle is only beginning.

I am obsesed. I can't get it up man, I can't sit either. My fistula is a complex one. Horseshoe fistula they call it. Little tunnels full of pus and crap, in my body, near my dick, my balls. My parts that used to give me joy. Now it's just a mess down there. I am about to quit my job, go back to my parents because I cant afford to live in Istanbul pay my rent and my hospital bills at the same time. And my mandatory military service duty is getting closer and closer. I am so F^@$!ng tired man, I am crying right now. Please just end. I hate my F^@$!ng body, I hate ehat happened to me. I can't take action either. There is constant pain in my genitals,  doctors dont care,I cant afford those who care anyway. I am a suffering soul trapped in a rotting body, watching all those ignorant, normal, healthy people getting married, having sex, flirting, working, or just, having the privledge of not thinking about their sexuality all the time like an obsessed maniac. I am getting frustrated like a F^@$!ng ape that couldn't mate. I can't do it man, I just can't. I just hope I die during that surgery.

You lose your face, you lose an arm, you lose your eye, people will support you, they will accept you, you will accept yourself. You damge your genitals and boom! You are stuck in a doomed solitude for the rest of your life. I wish I was an artist or something that could canalize this frustration and pain into art, but nope, I am a regular everyday joe who suddenly became aware of how fragile the whole identity thing is. I am lost man.  I hate seeing pus in my underwear and at the same time stroking my dick to get it up only toface the fact that it is not a dick. A very simple machine, even the stupidest man on earth has it. A rapist, a murderer, a pedophile has a working dick and not me. Sex is the time you stop thinking right? For me sex is my greatest fear now, I damaged myself mentaly on an irreversible level.

I am literally living in pus and crap and self hatred and pain. Description of hell, isn't it?

Normality is my enemy and my biggest dream now. I am stuck, helpless, trying to move but get stuck even worse. How did it come to this man? I just can't cope with what is happening to me.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: TonySa on January 06, 2020, 05:10:47 PM
Oh wow man I'm so sorry to hear everything you're going through.  It sure makes sense that you're not getting sexually aroused and hard w all that pain.  Any chance your docs would give you an antidepressant medication to help you get through this?  It will get better, you just need to find a way to hang in there.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Godisreal on January 06, 2020, 07:02:38 PM
All groin-area conditions that are seemingly unsolvable displays a nightmare.
Bro, a condition like yours is very uncommon and that's why you're so depressed. I mean, the same goes with Peyronies Disease... the amount of unluckiness is insane.
I don't know what to tell you, man. All problems that don't kill you tho, always work out in the end. And that's on God. Hang in there, buddy.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: melting on January 09, 2020, 12:14:28 PM
Oh yeah, clearly it is very bad as it is.

Obviously if you don't fight and do your best possible(and some more) it will get worse which then makes you more depressed and so on.. devils circle. That circle you need to break. You will miss good opportunities if you assume it can only get worse and give up. Often others around you then will do the same regarding you consciously or not especially if they don't understand.

Sounds like these are not isolated problems and you need to view all parts of yourself as a whole for the solution. Mind body healthy. Do the basics.
Try to make logicaly right decisions especially regarding your living situation and location where you are. Everything that will help you, do it. What don't, don't do it.
If you're in stress where you are it will influence your healing badly. Find the best possible(!) solution in every context.
I'm sure at the end of it you will have solved this and come out stronger in some way. I think you sure should focus all you can do not only solve the issue in your groin but also to make sure everything around is in the possibly best shape. Eat healthy and breath fully seems very basic but without it's hard to get anywhere.
Generally move your ass in some way(funny right?) No, seriously, don't rot in place!

I personally would try to to "bath" the area and the circulation there with supplements that help. Through your blood and transdermally. I would use iodine(maybe with DMSO) to get the inflammation down. What is the fistula is contained off? Understand it with logic. There must be something that calms it down. (but that is all just my ideas, I'm not a doctor)
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on January 09, 2020, 06:43:03 PM
It must be so hard to deal with that nocekgari! Try to stay strong....
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on January 10, 2020, 12:48:25 PM
Thank you,all of you. It is hard to live like that. This whole thing reminds me when my tinnitus started. I was 15, one day the noise began and it never stoped since then. First time my doctor called it, I couldn't believe that noise just become my life. I couldn't escape it, unless I sleep. There was/is a constant ringing in my head. Reason unknown, treatment not possible...

I cried so much, became obsesed with white noise machines, loud music. The fact that I will never enjoy quietness ever again hit me like a bullet. But do you know what happened? I got used to it. I don't even feel annoyed when I notice it in my head. I adapted it. My conciousness found a way to mask it. That wasn't me fighting back. It was something like an instinct. My body's reaction to not giving up.

I believe my sexual problems are more serious than tinnitus. It's roots goes way deeper. Each time I try to get an erection, I come across some of my most hidden fantasies,even from my childhood. Those dark and weird things that has stayed hidden all my life. I look at them, watch them, knowing I will never get them.

I am probably talking BS. I get that feeling way more often than before. There is a distance between me and those sane people all around me. There is an invisible wall that holds my words, my thoughts. They are trapped with me, in my head. With the noise, pain, anger and hopelessnes I have. I only enjoy the melancoly of my situation. Maybe that's my instinct again, trying to hold on to the missery that I call my life.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: melting on January 10, 2020, 04:15:37 PM
Take everything with common sense and logic and try to change the viewpoint. Don't give into emotions too much. 
Old memories/traumas can haunt, stress and create problems. Everyone has that to a degree and it can manifest in the body.(often related to the problem so if it's of sexual nature it will be down there..)
That's why there are a lot of therapists everywhere. To get read of memories you need to release them and/or replace with new experiences in the same contexts(if you fear a bad dog befriend a cute dog)
If it helps to write your story on the internet it can help but even better is to talk with someone professional. Seems complicated when you're in it but most issues therapists in some way dealt with already. Social, child traumas or sexual nature. Also move and express which can be done in various ways from martial arts to dance, yoga etc. or going to the woods and scream ;).
You're in Istanbul, there are a lot therapists, music, etc. -  try 1 or 2.. Do something. Don't stay frozen in place. :)
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on January 22, 2020, 04:49:46 AM
Just had my fistula surgery. Everything is messed up down there. They inserted a tube in my penis to drain the urine. I am afraid it may cause more damage. I have two parallel sticth marks that measure 5 inches on both of my buttocks :) but I only think about my dick. I mentioned my concerns to the general surgeon,he checked my penis for plaques and told me I have HF due to the surgery performed on my pelvic region. This is the first time a doctor agreed with me on the presence of HF. I asked him to suggest me a specialist, he said my pelvic MRI didnt show any palque development and suggested me to focus on my butt for now. Then he will schedule a penile MRI.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: melting on January 22, 2020, 02:21:33 PM
Congrats on finding a good doc! Sounds like you are getting into the right direction! 
And yeah the pelvic floor is very susceptible to trauma and then chronically tensing up due to it creating further problems down the line towards the penis...
Once you surgery symptoms are going down, you should start to move your ass, literally ;) Get the whole area(It's all connected - lower back - hips - legs - Pelvic floor - Penis) into motion, loose, flexible, balanced and relaxed. Start slow and increase. Learn to breath fully and expand the pelvic floor with the breath. (lots of resources online)
Eat very healthy. A lot of vitamin C(split through the day) is necessary in times of stress and especially to recover from surgery and tissue related issues. Sounds simple but it's important basic.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on January 22, 2020, 05:51:49 PM
Melting, I love your attitude and I really appreciate your helpful comments. You gave me a good laugh. Okay, I will move my ass once they remove these annoying stitches off it :)

I think he is a really good doctor, I can't judge his skills of course but he listens and wants to help. I'll only read books and play video games for 2 weeks, then I'll start working on my penis. I want this surgery to be the turning point for me to get my crap together.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: melting on January 24, 2020, 10:04:09 PM
You will make it if you keep going into the right direction no matter what stands in your way. GL!
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: diehardpatriot on January 26, 2020, 01:17:10 AM
Hey man, I've been where you've been mentally nocekgari. I am glad melting has provided you with these great tips . What he's saying is true. Keep moving forward man, never back! Sending good energy your way.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Larry on January 29, 2020, 05:21:55 PM
Nocekgari;  I had surgery that was suppose to release 7-9 cm of penis that was forced up inside me after 3 botched circumcisions.  The incompetent surgeons messed things up so bad that my flaccid penis was reduced to about 1 inch.  I felt like you do.  I was referred to another urologist and I really don't know why I trusted him, afterall I had no reason to.  I let this new guy do surgery on me.  That was two years ago.  I am now 5" flaccid and 5.5 erect plus I went from 4" in girth to 6.5".  There is always hope my friend.  Good things come to those who wait. :)

Larry
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: 27yearold on March 14, 2020, 10:24:42 AM
How is your recovery going? I am suffering from something similar
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Larry on March 14, 2020, 11:14:09 AM
Quote from: 27yearold on March 14, 2020, 10:24:42 AM
How is your recovery going? I am suffering from something similar

If that question was for me, my recovery is going great although I think something has come apart.  I have an appointment near the end of the month... I am kind of hoping I am right... they will give me a bigger implant..bigger is better. :D
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: TonySa on March 14, 2020, 03:12:05 PM
Larry, if going for bigger ask about the titan (certainly wider than AMS).
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Pfract on March 14, 2020, 03:26:30 PM
So Larry! Are you heading towards a revision? What happened with you, if I may ask?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: program4004 on March 17, 2020, 02:10:40 AM
Nice Nockegari. I'm happy for ya! :) Please update us on the MRI.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Larry on March 24, 2020, 06:49:52 PM
Quote from: TonySa on March 14, 2020, 03:12:05 PM
Larry, if going for bigger ask about the titan (certainly wider than AMS).

Sorry, no, I am a solid AMS advocate.  LGX stands for length, girth, expander and it did indeed do that in very large fashion.

I had a call from the surgeon... due to Covid-19, everything is on hold but, based on my description, he is pretty sure he knows what the problem is so he is going to book me for revision surgery and will upsize me... I am so excited I can hardly wait. :)

Larry
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Larry on March 24, 2020, 07:01:25 PM
Quote from: pfract on March 14, 2020, 03:26:30 PM
So Larry! Are you heading towards a revision? What happened with you, if I may ask?

Yup... there is something that seems to have come apart at the base of the penis.  It is quite uncomfortable but the implant still works.  I have recycled twice a day, every day since the end of January 2017 for at least 30 minutes each time.  Dr. Brock told me that because I have done that, there will be little to no scar tissue and he should be able to upsize me to at least an 18, which is what I lost when I went into septic shock and had to have it removed. Also, I had a plastic surgeon do lipo on my suprapubic fat pad and now there is a lot of loose floppy skin hiding quite a bit of flaccid penis... Dr Brock is going to look at having the plastic surgeon remove the floppy skin covered by our provincial health insurance because it was cause by a procedure that was covered by insurance.  Boy, I lucked out on that one... our insurance doesn't usually cover cosmetic surgery. :)

Larry
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: TonySa on March 25, 2020, 12:36:22 AM
Great, wish we had one payer INS here for everyone!
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on May 16, 2020, 03:48:30 PM
Hello all!

Long time no see. There were some developments...

Well, I've been in mentally dark places. Most of you knoe how much I struggled with my fracture. Two weeks later I will "celebrate" the anniversary of it.

In the last 5 months, I had two surgeries on my butt. A perianal fistula...right now I am recovering from the second one. They opened a second hole on my butt in order to heal the fistula properly. My sexual life is also dramaticaly affected by this problem. On February my uro told me I am fully recovered from the fracture. It was a relief. I have a gf now. She is an amazing person. She knows all about my injury. But we don't have sex yet...I mean no intercourse, but we do oral sex, hand jobs and other things besides intercourse. All seems great. My erections are good, In fact I went 3 times without  a break once! Sometimes I had a slight pain near my fracture but never a worrying one!

It all changed on April. I could still get and keep my erections with her but when I was alone, I couldn't get it up. I ejeculated with a flaccid penis so many times. When she comes over, boom! Erection after erection.

Well, it turned out I had a very long fistula tract going all the way down to my penile shaft. I suspect the discomfort and pain was blocking my erections.

Today is the 8th day post. Operation. My scar is slowly healing but I still cannot maintain an erection by myself. I heard a venous leak may develop even years after a fracture. Could this be it? But I can still get and keep my penis hard with my gf.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: D1990m on May 16, 2020, 04:24:32 PM
I was in the exact same boat as you man. 3 years ago I had a very mild fracture. Undiagnosed. But the doc said to take Advil and vitamin e. I'm not trying to scare you but to warn you that 3 years later I got some fibrosis. So what can you do to not be in my boat? Best thing I did was watch all neov videos. And also buy your self a ved device. Even a cheap one dis the job for me. Also l carnitine worked wonders for restoring my sensation. It sucks mentally. I'm in the same boat as you in that regard because I feel like I could have done more. But I literally threw everything at this thing. Your main goal here is to maintain penile health. Cut out sugars. I do keto and love it. Also do the ved. It circulates blood through your dick. I love it when I do it. It feels healthy. Sucks I started so late.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Larry on May 16, 2020, 05:14:45 PM
Quote from: TonySa on March 14, 2020, 03:12:05 PM
Larry, if going for bigger ask about the titan (certainly wider than AMS).

Nope, I love my LGX and I have no interest in the issues the Titan reportedly has... dog ears, unnatural appearance, semi all the time... no thanks. :)
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: TonySa on May 16, 2020, 11:15:49 PM
Hi Larry, that's great you're so happy w the LGX.  I've had both and had dog ears w both as doc maximally fit me both times, no more erection when flaccid with either and not sure what you mean by unnatural appearance..,
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: melting on May 17, 2020, 03:07:47 PM
Nocekgari,
great news! Keep moving forwards and be as healthy as possible.

To achieve and maintain an erection a lot has to be right mentally, chemically and physically. 
It makes sense that you're not yet at 100%. Don't force it too much.
If you research the erection process you might find where your weakness is and work a bit on it.

It's all connected down there so your fistul issues might still influence your pelvic floor and erection.
I personally thing a Venous leak is basically something in the erection process not working. If there's not enough pressure from the incoming blood the tunica wont shunt off the outgoing veins.. which means blood "leaks out" back into the body.

Once you are healed up I would start doing pelvic floor therapy or/and training. getting it loose and stronger. reasearch it a bit.
Also the legs are connected to the whole penis circulation directly and strong healthy legs help with a good blood "pressure"/flow. So once you can move more do it.

GL!
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Larry on May 17, 2020, 06:05:10 PM
Quote from: TonySa on May 16, 2020, 11:15:49 PM
no more erection when flaccid with either and not sure what you mean by unnatural appearance..,

I've never had the Titan but I have read many times by those who have that with the Titan you always look like you have a semi and as for the unnatural appearance, I really don't know either, once again, it's just what I have read.  What I do know is that the AMS has the inhibizone which is drastically reducing the number of post op infections... for me, (if you know my story), that is a HUGE plus.  Also, I have gained so much length, it's almost unbelievable (before anybody calls BS, I have posted my before and after picture here a few times).  I am expecting a revision as soon as this Covid crap is over and my doctor is suspecting that he will be able to go up to the 18 from the 15 I have now.  I would not have got that from the Titan.  I'm not knocking the Titan but it's not for me. :)
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hrvat21 on May 20, 2020, 01:26:13 PM
I hope i am not hijacking the thread with questions. Nocekgari, i am sorry about your fracture and hope you'll recovers, i had something similar 9 years ago and while i still didn't fix it, and i am kinda unhappy with abstaing from sex, it doesnt control my life in the way it used to and you will get better mentally first, and than you can fix yourself physically, dick can be fixed, there are many ways and it's doable at least by implant, but it's still crap having this F~@< up your life at this age, i was 16 when it happened to me, i still haven't lost hope to get back length and size and get back to porn star like penis, maybe even try starring in a porn movie if i manage to fix it and fullfil an adolescent fantasy, like that guy that has his penis severed, it's sad it's this way, you need to get over it.

For others, as we have lot of penile fractured users, what can be used to fix penile fracture, i know allready that erectile dysfunction can be somewhat be fixed by cialis a day, but does traction and ved function for penile fracture deformities as well, i have Ed, curve, big loss of size and big hourglass in perineal area, and both curve and hourglass are hard to touch, sites of injury. Is scar tissue made by penile fracture as malleable as peyronies one, and could you use traction and ved to fix it, can the tissue be expanded or somehow brought back to it's previous state?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on October 07, 2020, 05:37:47 AM
Hello everybody!

15 months have past since my fracture and I am very happy to tell you that I am healed with minimal lasting affects.

-I no longer have any kind of pain or hard flaccid syndrome.
-My curve is stabilized at 15 degrees, which doesn't make it uncomfortable to have intercourse.
-My erections are good, no sign of Erectile Dysfunction for now, but I gotta say, sometimes I lose my erections but I think that's a psychological thing. Because morning woods happen regularly.
-My penis size hasn't change.

But it is not the same as before of course:

-My curve feels weird in my hands and during sex, I am trying to adapt to it. Whike I can easily have intercourse, sometimes it bends dangerously. I am avoiding some positions and some positions I am not capable of doing. I am limited with certain positions.
-I am permanently scarred. I am talking about a mental scar. I will never-ever forget how hard it was.
-There is a dull pain near the fractured area. That area is sensitive to touching, and I can't press on there (Why would I do that though)
-I guess peyronies risk is still there. I don't know if my scar is healed right. But at least venous leak risk is lower now. It usually happens within a year after the fracture.

And here is my treatment for those who like to know:

1st month: Nothing. I wasn't diagnosed.
2nd to 4th month: Colchicum+Vitamin E+Melox Forte for scar healing. I didn't masturbate during this time period.
4th to 6th month Colchicum+Vitamin E. I started masturbating.
6th to 9th month: My last doctor appointment. He told me I am good. Dropped medicine. Started having sex.
9th to 15h month: Occasional pain and very rare hard flaccid. Other than those, I am good!

I will keep updating.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Icandothis2 on November 13, 2020, 01:17:37 AM
Wow! I'm glad everything is looking good for you ! I'm just over 3 months in my minor fracture myself from the looks of it . Your experience gives me hope that I'll be okay ! I really am happy for you man!
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on December 29, 2020, 04:40:17 PM
Hello Icandothis2,

It has been one and a half year since the fracture. I am happy overall but there are a few issues remaining still.

My curve is slowly getting worse. Now I have a significant left curve (and leaning) The whole shaft is leaning to the left and the bend starts at the 2nd inch. Thankfully it is painless, thus, making me think that it's not peyronies

Sometimes, very rarely, I get sharp pains, giving me flashbacks. Out of nowhere my penis hurts like it's being stabbed and it stops.

No ED at all though. Erections are no problem but I can't get used to my progressing curve yet.

I wish you all the best my friend. Feel free to ask questions if you have any.

Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hontas on January 02, 2021, 03:24:56 PM
Nocekgari, do you have psoriatic arthritis in your family or in you?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on January 04, 2021, 04:19:40 PM
Hi Hontas, No, me and my family don't have it.
I am assuming you are asking to gather data for your research.

My mum's side has heart dissease and my father's side has high colesterol.

Neither side has male pattern baldness, but I do. Also, premature gray hair.

No cancer in either side

No diabetes




Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on April 30, 2021, 07:49:40 PM
Hello

Today marks the 2nd anniversary of my fracture. I don't think I will ever be able to forget that horrible cracking sound and the sharp pain. I did everything to make this whole thing harder for myself. No denying that. But everything aside, I am glad to be able to say that I am cured!

Past 2 years have been challenging. Aside from the fracture, I also had a surgery for anal fistula. Several extremely painful abscess drainages, a cysyt removal on my penis (a memoir from my circumcission) and now I am dealing with pilonidal sinus and scheduled a surgery.

But when looking back, all I can think of is the mental pain I a have experienced. No pain can match that.

My penis is, fine. It is not as flexible and my curve is worse. But it is fine, it is working. I can't do any positions but missionary and pronebone; but that is enough to me and to my partner. If the curve does not increase over time, I will not seek further treatment given my medical history is full of surgeries and smaller operations. I have learnt to be satisfied with what I have. I don't have a religion, yet I feel thankful in a spiritual way.

If there is anyone who is going through this, it will be okay. Depending on the severity of your fracture, you will end up with a "new" penis. Be it an implant or a curve, you will have to adapt to it once your fracture heals. And it will be okay. Speaking for guys who had a not-so-severe fracture of course.

If no new messages or questions on this tread, I think I will update it once a year, on anniversary days, as long as I live or this forum exists.

I am fine.

Thank you all sincerely
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Kobegianna on April 30, 2021, 11:23:53 PM
Any updates?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Curvekiller94 on May 02, 2021, 06:12:43 PM
I think I have had something very similar happen. I am only 7-8 months out and it sucks ass lol
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Kobegianna on May 04, 2021, 12:41:00 PM
Hey your inbox is full. How's everything going?
Title: Penis Fracture --> Peyronies Diseas?
Post by: orriw on May 18, 2021, 06:27:10 PM
Do you think Penis fracture always leads to Peyronies Disease? I had this and i was so sure i have Peyronies Disease because i have curvature and pain but the more i read the less i know. I dont feel any hard scar or plaque so now i think maybe i dont have Peyronies Disease but just an untreated Penis fracture which might maybe be worse.
Do you think Fracture always leads to Peyronies Disease?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: orriw on May 18, 2021, 06:31:00 PM
Hi how are you?
I have Penile Fracture tooo....
Can you delete some old messages in your inbox? Its full. I'd like to chat with you about if it you want.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Ankish on November 25, 2021, 07:00:04 AM
Hello, Im from Turkey just like you are and we are both young. Our injuries didnt occured same way but I think I may use your guidince. Can you send me a pm if you see this? I cant send you because your inbox is full.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Nocekgari on February 24, 2022, 05:16:58 AM
Hello,

I am sorry for not updating for a while. I had other health issues to deal with.

After 2,5 years, I am still having problems. My acquired curvature is getting worse over time, I am planning to visit a specialist and get a correction surgery.  Mentally, I am better, but I am avoiding penetrative sex still. My penis feels much worse than before. No flexibility at all, occasional hard flaccid, occasional pain...
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Hontas on May 15, 2022, 11:01:49 AM
Man. It really sucks to have your penis size change forever and it mentally scars you and i feel like i don't even want to kill myself. I just want to disappear out of existence. Why is this even a thing? I never had a pre peyronies sex life and i understand you man. I have everything going on except my penis being healthy but it still doesn't matter to most women. We are either money machines to milk or people to be ashamed without a well functioning big penis. Thats just the society and women i guess. I don't even care about a caring girlfriend. I just wish i had a time where i could have casual sex anytime i talk with a woman that likes me, without getting scared of injuring my penis further.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Bud luck on May 15, 2022, 11:58:22 AM
As my penis gets worse my depression follows, my penis goes hand on hand with state of mind, I can't do that anymore because is a lost battle. I'm starting taking zoloft ( antidepressants) because my depression is getting too strong. I probably will lose my girlfriend of 3 years because my erections are too weak, I have to accept my new reality of being alone. I will focus on other things in life besides sex and relationships with females, it is what it is and I have to accept it
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Kobegianna on May 18, 2022, 05:02:42 PM
Zoloft will make your erections worse no?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Bud luck on May 19, 2022, 02:36:50 AM
Kobegianna, the zoloft is lowering my libido and I'm having a hard time ejaculating, but if I don't take Zoloft I get obsessed and depressed about my penis.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Kobegianna on May 19, 2022, 02:19:51 PM
So you are still having sex? Or just having a hard time ejaculating while masturbating?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Bud luck on May 21, 2022, 07:34:41 AM
I still can have sex but it gets very hard to ejaculated and I get less sensitivity.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: kang22 on October 19, 2022, 01:57:38 PM
How are you doing now? Any updates since your last post? Hope things are improving for you a bit.
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Bud luck on October 19, 2022, 04:05:31 PM
I still have erections, but my nocturnal erections are weaker, also I have little bit more deviation, thank you for asking, and how are you doing?
Title: Re: Penile fracture made me suicidal, i seriously need help
Post by: Christopher1 on November 14, 2022, 03:35:41 PM
Prolonged fasting actives autophagy.

Try this to decrease any scarring.

Fast for 2 days as a start. Only water with some sea salt.

Do your research carefully. Yes - it is therapeutic, but there are side effects and risks.

Do your research. There are resources on prolonged fasting. Be safe.