Peyronies Society Forums

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

ALL Members PLEASE Add a Signature line with age, history etc
PROFILE -> FORUM PROFILE -> SIGNATURE
More instructions here -> Signature Line - History - Peyronies Society Forums

Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!  (Read 1858 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

wertz34

  • Voting Member
  • **
  • Country: hr
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 16

I've never told anyone my entire life about this problem...

But today, I can't keep it secret anymore. Actually, I need someone to listen for the first time... ever

Quick background: I was born with a tight frenulum which was causing my penis to curve to the left when you pull down the skin. At the age of 15, I went to surgery to fix it because it was really tight and I was hoping that my curvature will disappear as well (what a mistake).

As you can expect - it didn't. As the time went on my penis got bigger as well as the curvature more noticeable. The real problem actually was the right side of the penis which was longer than the left side of the penis and there's no cure for that condition except the 'penile curvature surgery'.

Having a curved penis was a huge problem for me. I rejected every girl after a few weeks/months just to protect myself from not being hurt by her possible reaction on my bent penis. I had sex only once a year and a half ago and it took less than a minute which created me another fear.

I kept on waiting for a miracle to happen but there was only one thing that happened a couple weeks ago. Under the left side of the penis, my skin became hard and there is a huge plaque under the skin. There's no pain, but the curvature became even more noticeable even if I don't pull down the skin.

I immediately started taking ALCAR + Gotu Kola + Zink + Omega 3 + Magnesium + Castor Oil (applied topically to the penis) and was hoping that the plaque will soften.

Since the skin became hardened, my erection became weaker and it made me depressed.

The worst thing happened the last week when I met her absolute beautiful girl my ages. Today, she invited me to her place and I didn't go because

a) I'm still ashamed of my curved penis (30-45-60 degrees, depends on how much skin I pull down)
b) I had sex only once and ejaculated within a minute
c) My erections became weaker


This was the worst day ever. I wish I could tell her the truth, but I can't.. It makes feel soo vulnerable and poor.

As men we shouldn't feel like that, should we?  :-\

I'm usually a confident and average looking guy, but I'm constantly doing some weird things just to drive girls away since I want to avoid being intimate and protect myself.

I don't know what to do but I decided to go all in and fix this f***ing problem because this is reflecting all areas of my life. I'm getting more and more angry and ruining relationships with people around me. Nobody understands what's going on because I never told to anyone.

PLEASE, can you suggest me a few next steps? Diet, supplements, drugs and most importantly how to deal with it emotionally and have a normal relationship with a girl.  (maybe some books about sex and sexuality if that helps)

I decided to turn this whole situation into one of the biggest things that affected my personal growth rather than something that will continue to destroy my life.

Thank you very much!!!
Logged

JohnWright

  • Guest
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2018, 11:41:29 PM »

You're in the U.S.  The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK
is where you should call if you have a repeat of this day.
Logged

wertz34

  • Voting Member
  • **
  • Country: hr
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 16
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2018, 10:00:57 AM »

Actually, I'm from middle Europe. Will try to change my account settings.
Logged

TonySa

  • Think Tank
  • **
  • Country: us
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3703
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2018, 10:44:48 AM »

Welcome Wertz, congrats on looking at this as something you can address rather than giving up all hope.  How is it that you’re curve varies from 30 to 60?  Does it get worse the harder you are?  Has it changed are always been present?
Logged
PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.

wertz34

  • Voting Member
  • **
  • Country: hr
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 16
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2018, 12:13:20 PM »

Thank you Tsanchez12369!

It has been always like that. It is hard to explain but let's say that natural curvature is around 30 degrees and then when I pull the skin to the maximum the frenulum pulls the left side of the penis and the curvature goes to 60 because the right side of the penis is longer. I'm not sure if this explanation helps.

I visited a doctor about a year ago because of that. He told me that my right side of the penis is longer than the left side + frenulum is also a bit unusual but it shouldn't be a problem when it comes to the intercourse.

I'm not worried about the penile curvature anymore. I just want to soften the plaque that developed on the left side and get back my elasticity.

The penile curvature wasn't a physic problem itself, because sometimes when it is fully erected the curvature was even less than 30 degrees (I guess I also have a blood flow problem because I have full erections very rare). The problem with having a penile curvature was more in my head.

Most of the time we are not grateful enough for what we already have. :) Please do not make some mistakes as I did!
Logged

Oh Boy

  • Voting Member
  • **
  • Country: do
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 60
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2018, 12:23:29 PM »

What surgery did you get when you were 15? A frenuloplasty? If you did then your frenulum shouldn’t be pull down your penis anymore. I’m not sure what mistake you are talking about.
Logged

wertz34

  • Voting Member
  • **
  • Country: hr
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 16
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2018, 01:23:55 PM »

Yes, frenuloplasty. It didn't fix that problem completely since my frenulum is unusual. It is not on the middle, but something between the middle and left. I can take some pics if that that would help. Just need to read the forum rules.  Two different doctors told me that they did a solid job with frenulum and I got the best out of that surgery.

But again - the frenulum and penile curvature are not problems right. I can deal with it and accept it. My goal is to soften the plaque and improve my blood flow and have stronger erections. Quitting masturbation for the next few months is going to be my first move.

My opinion is if I could just soften the plaque a bit and improve blood flow, everything would be fine. The curvature in an erected penis would be around 30 degrees maybe even less.

So how can we destroy / soften that s*** ?  :D

Anyone had any results with pentox, cq10, l-arginine, alcar, meditation, workout, lifting? What worked for you guys?
Logged

JohnWright

  • Guest
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2018, 02:03:37 PM »

You seem to be at a better place today. Since you're in Europe, I'll offer this help for you and future European readers:

Europe | International Suicide Prevention Wiki | FANDOM powered by Wikia

If you know of better resources, please share.


Logged

pfract

  • Think Tank
  • **
  • Country: ca
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1656
  • #whateverittakes
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2018, 02:06:47 PM »

dude... no need to kill yourself over this. We are here to help, and everytime you have negative thoughts, come to this board! i and many others here, relate and understand. I fractured my penis in 2014.... I was 27. I am 31 now... still young.. and i know what it is to have several partners. and the next day be with a broken penis in your hands.

You need to go to a proper doctor, to do medical exams. Get a proper diagnosis on your condition. You should save money, and go to Franklin Kuehas, or another respectable doctor that can and wants to help you out. thing is, if you do a colour doppler ultrasound, you know exactly how your blood flow is, and how much plaque you have and what to expect next.

Stay strong and talk to us!

TonySa

  • Think Tank
  • **
  • Country: us
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3703
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2018, 04:37:54 PM »

For the plaque coq10 and pentox can increase blood flow, daily cialis or viagra can soften as can traction/ved and xiaflex.
Logged
PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.

NeoV

  • Global Moderator
  • ****
  • Country: jp
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1856
    • Neoman
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2018, 08:02:24 PM »

I would be happy to talk with you about women and this disease at any time, I'll send you a PM.

wertz34

  • Voting Member
  • **
  • Country: hr
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 16
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2018, 11:47:18 PM »

Thank you guys for all the support!  I think that emotional side of this disease/condition is much more important than it is discussed. There are thousands of men around the world who suffer in the silence all alone and we as a society should do whatever we can to change it. Sometimes all we need is just someone to hear us and give us that small support so we can make the first step forward. You did it for me, I will do it for others. Thank you!

[Full prior quote removed]/Admin

I'm sorry to hear that and hope that your condition is better now! How does your sexual life and life in general look like today, 4 years later?

Would like to hear more about dr. Franklin Kuehas and your experience with him. I saw his name being mentioned many times on this forum. He must be the best in Europe. Also, when you say "save money" - what amount of money do we talk about? Just some rough numbers. Thanks!
Logged

LWillisjr

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Country: us
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 2839
  • 62 y/o - 10 yrs Peyronies free
    • My Peyronie's Story
Re: (22yo) Almost committed a suicide today, but decided to fight back!!!
« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2018, 07:23:13 PM »

As an introductory topic I need to lock this one now but please feel free to post questions in the appropriate areas of our forum.
Logged
Les - 10 yrs Peyronies Disease free
My History
Pages: [1]   Go Up
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
7 Replies
1358 Views
Last post October 03, 2015, 04:59:18 PM
by LWillisjr
3 Replies
1199 Views
Last post September 01, 2017, 03:28:33 AM
by Jonbinspain
7 Replies
496 Views
Last post June 21, 2019, 04:35:54 PM
by TDix