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Author Topic: Almost suicidal  (Read 1411 times)

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GearsA

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Almost suicidal
« on: May 31, 2016, 11:37:20 AM »

As some of you guys may know I am 17 :(( I am usually the most happy extroverted guy in my group, but since this problem my life has changed, for about 2months I was feeling a lot better(less pain, more confident, less symptoms) but past few days my d*** seems so much more curved and smaller!! And today I have been inside all day just thinking about this and honestly I am feeling like giving up all together!! I almost feel suicidal

I have my exams next week and I can't keep concentration on revising due to this stress, I don't know what to do, as some guys on here have said before, I don't care if I was to get hit by a car and die at the moment, I know this sound silly, but it is hell!!

Can anyone give me advice on how to deal with the hardest days, when you feel defeated?
I just want to grow up and have a family:( I scared that I won't be able too

For anyone else who feels like this or has done, please reply

Thanks guys
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PeetyPeet

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Re: Almost suicidal
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2016, 12:09:11 PM »

Hi GearsAce,

I've been there believe me. I still have very low moments. At these times I remind myself of the immense pain I would cause my family were I to go, and that at 36 I'm still relatively young and may still have time to benefit from any new treatments that we hope will be developed somewhere down the road.

In terms of your exams, well that's bad timing for sure. It strikes me that whatever treatments become available in hopefully the near future, if you want it quickly and done well you're going to have to pay for it yourself. Your exams are the first step in securing a job which will provide you with enough income for you to afford treatment. Why not try to envisage your exams as means by which you can combat your peyronies. Perhaps this will help you focus and succeed.

During particularly bad times it's this kind of thinking that keeps my going to work, building my own business, and generally plugging away.

Good luck

Peety

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GearsA

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Re: Almost suicidal
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2016, 12:15:56 PM »

Thank you peety, this I a nice way to see the bigger picture and I don't want to hurt my family either and put them in a worse mental state than I am now!!

Your very right, I need to have a good job in order to enable me to have the option to have treatments, without money I will be pretty stuck!!

I have started writing in a journal days when I feel really bad, I hope in the future I will read it back and it make me a better person cause I will know not to take anything for granted!!

I just don't want to loose my penis, If it keeps getting smaller when I grow up I won't have one!!

Thanks man, I do need to look at it like that!
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NeoV

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Re: Almost suicidal
« Reply #3 on: June 11, 2016, 05:59:32 AM »

Hey Gears, it's been a while. I'm sorry you're struggling but I really think time and commitment will put you in a great place. It did for me, I saw much improvement even if it isn't perfect now. I am perfectly happy with my sexual abilities now, whereas for years I was not. It really took a toll on me.

You're really young and that's great. I'm sure you'll be careful and do everything you can for the years to come and it should improve. Keep up on traction and give your penis rest.

If you can, let school know you have a chronic pain issue. I rather mean, see a psychologist and have them let your school know you need extensions on assigments. Penile injury and pain has to be one of the worst things for someone can endure. The disease should be viewed as a real handicap in many if not all cases.

Other than that, try not to actually feel handicapped. You can still do great things with girls but I would wait till college before worrying about it. Work on developing your "inner game" in both life and with women, and even if you don't have sex for many years you will be a king of attracting women by the time they are around you in college or elsewhere. Self development is like a muscle, you work it, strengthen it, and watch it grow and the results are permanent. The only people who fall deeper into depression are the ones who don't believe this is possible. When I was your age I scoffed at the idea of "personal development," since why the hell would I have to do that? Why lie? Why not just "be me."

The problem with this is that there is no me or you, only an assimilation of actions and habits that we try to preserve to fit it into a personality we call ourselves. We do this to survive but it isn't needed as we think it is. It isn't about surviving anymore, it's about thriving in a society that will allow you to live, and even forces you to live, within it. This is not some pickup trope, this is a philosophical concept and it is huge. There are many sides to this as well, and sometimes "be yourself" is perfectly fine. What I want to make you question is why you think you are who you are, and why you think you are limited with women or anything else. You can do nearly anything and be nearly anyone. You can be a fun and positive guy who women will fall for over and over again, you just have to believe it.

After Peyronie's had ravaged my body and mind I have a breakthrough where I experienced severe derealization. I contemplated suicide as my penis bent literally 360 degrees. I was squatting in the shower and in so much pain all I wanted to do was not move and pee. I felt like a monster, something hideous. As you probably know, my ex physically hit me and kicked me out to be homeless on the streets of Tokyo. A girl hitting a guy, wow right? It's not uncommon. What I realized finally was that who I thought I was did not matter. It stops mattering once the pain is so severe that you have no choice but to let go. Your idea of "you" will hurt you for years, and if you're lucky it will hurt you so bad you know it cannot be correct and learn to adapt. There is nothing that's helped me more in dealing with Peyronie's than mindfulness and personal development. You will and can get through this, and you will be forced like I was, to use Peyronie's as a platform towards improving and changing yourself. That being said, I know just how hard it is, it is crushing, and I will never forget this, or should anyone.

popopo

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Re: Almost suicidal
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2016, 06:47:37 AM »

I'm 21 and also got this crap at 17. We can't do anything but remain patient. Focus on everything else that makes you happy beside sex and when libido is high just go for a fap or have sex if you want, but don't be like me and obsess aboutit because it will drain everything thst IS right in your life.
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Age: 25
Date of onset: 17
Symptoms: sharp pains, numbness, change in shape/size, hourglassing and discolaration from jelqing/VED usage as a teen. Diagnosed with a venous leak and possible scarring.
Treatments tried: cialis, pentox and VED didnt help
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