Relationships and one's sense of self worth / being able to end them

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Funny9097

Hi everyone,

I have never posted in the psychological forum area before or even looked at it over all these years.

I have pretty serious ED but am still able to have a somewhat active sex life in a relationship.

In the current one I'm in it has been a bit more difficult than usual. I think that my problem (which might a degree of peyronie's disease/plaque/curvature and some hard veins and difficult times achieving erections and for certain a state where my problems feel like they are getting progressively worse in this department) makes me somewhat insecure.

When I can't get it up or be physical around this girl I tend to over-compensate I think by being extra nice - cooking, taking her out for food, buying her stuff at the mall, etc. If she is in a bad mood I 'say the right thing'. I told my friend that it's been tough (we argue or more like bicker quite a bit). My friend asked me "if you weren't dating would you still be friends" and I said no.  We have almost broken up a few times but each time I will say the stuff needed to 'pull her back in'. We don't break up but I feel so crappy  about the idea of being single, almost like I will never be able to have sex or date again.

It's ironic but if my dick was fully healthy and the sex department was better with this girl I would likely be able to more objectively assess whether a relationship with her is the right fit (and be more capable of if not cutting a relationship off). Does anyone else with this health problem (peyronie's and/or pretty severe ED) feel this way in relationships? How do you cope with it and still treat yourself with the proper level of self-respect? What should I do?    

Glassglue

Virtually all relationships are compromises to some degree. But some are far healthier than others. You don't make yours sound very good. But the biggest question I would have is what are her feelings about your ED problems?  Is it something you are able to discuss? If yes then it may be healthier than it seems. If no then it's up to you as to whether you would be better off alone, or looking. It's the same for any relationship.  

Stabler

Hello,

I would just say that there should always be compromise in a relationship, but don't ever compromise yourself for the sake of having a relationship.  You are worthy of better than that.
Moderator since 2015- Missouri- I work in the medical field and have strong knowledge of insurance and how to obtain coverage for medication and other treatments. Being a woman I do not have Peyronies but you can ask me anything. I am happy to help.

Pfract

Well... i don't know if this is going to help or make it worse, but in my situation i prefer to avoid all sexual contact. Yes, i talk to girls and "try to live a normal life" until my problem is "somewhat solved". Until then, no more sex for me. This way, i cheat myself into thinking i don't have a problem, and it's easier to deal with it...

Funny9097

yeah, that sounds okay if one is in their 50s - I would suggest look at prothetic implants if you feel you have reached that point. I've heard great things about them and if I was older (I'm only 29) and close to not being able to have a sex life (I'm not there yet) would be quick to jump on that band wagon/give it a shot - I bet with an implant in one's 50s one is way above average in bed when compared to the rest of the pack !

All the best. Don't give up on your sex life mate  :D :D  .. and no, that doesn't help