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[lilhousewifey]

Hi My names Bonnie. Im 28 and married to a 41 year old man. He was bitten on the penis by a spider in January 2013 and suffered severely - he was in hospital on and off for 3 months, with 3 surgeries including a circumcision, and also had to have an inch of necrotic tissue (Dead tissue) removed from his penis and they reattached the head - it was a lengthy surgery and they had me sign permission to amputate his penis if it was unable to be saved. It was horrific.
Well due to the infection that went right up into his bladder, and required his entire penis to be 'scraped' and 'cleared' inside along the shaft, he developed a large amount of scar tissue. He was diagnosed with Peyronies at the end of 2013. Including the inch he lost in surgery, the peyronies has cause a curve but also shrinkage and now my husbands penis looks more like a belly button. After a consultation with the Urologist in early 2014, she referred him to a surgeon to try and correct the problem - at this point his penis was still about 4 inches long erect. But he refused to go and has refused any treatment (he wont even talk about it) since. Now he basically has lost his penis (he originally had 7 inches when we got married).
He has sunk into a massive depression, gaining a lot of weight because he just doesnt care anymore. When I try to approach the topic he tells me "I cant be bothered getting it fixed, not like i need it for anything except to pee" and walks away.
Our marriage has suffered severly as he has withdrawn all emotion, intimacy and everything. Its just like we are two people who happen to live in the same house.
I miss the intimacy... I am naturally a very sexual, intimate person. SO I am struggling. (and that makes me feel selfish).
But he has just completely given up
What do I do?

P.S how do I get access to the womens forum?> thankyou

[james1947]

lilhousewifey

Sorry to read your story. Sometimes life is not easy and I understand the huge psychological aspects you are facing.
The main reason your husband is closing up himself is because he feel useless as a man. I had also this feeling long time ago.
You should try to find a surgeon on the forum, one of the leading Peyronies specialist and to write him abut the background, you may find one here:
http://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,4063.0.html
If you have chosen one, ask the forum opinion about him.
We have also a woman only board that male members can't see.
To get access please write a PM to Christine, she is the board moderator and/or to LWillisjr, one of the forum Administrators.

James

[Jonbinspain]

Bonnie;

James is right. Your husband feels as if his manhood has been taken away from him. He feels inadequate and has thus has become withdrawn.

As this involves far more than just a normal case of Peyronies, I think a consultation with a specialist surgeon may be the way to go. How you get your husband there I understand will be a problem.

We all deal with this differently. Some withdraw, some will continue to fight the disease. All are affected mentally to one degree or another. I think your husband probably needs to feel that there is at least a chance of restoring him to a resemblance of what he was.

I think from your point of view you need to reassure him that you still love him, that he's more than just a penis. He's clearly depressed, we can only hope that in time he will come around.

[LWillisjr]

P.S how do I get access to the womens forum?> thankyou

You should have access now

[lilhousewifey]

Thank you for your reply james1947 and Jonbinspain. It is such a relief to have someone(s) to talk to who know what he is going through. He has withdrawn from his friends etc so we basically have no one to talk to. It's definitely a difficult thing for him (and myself - but this is his struggle not mine) to deal with but I am more worried about him. I have told him I dont care about the sex (which isn't completely honest) that I just want him to be healthy and happy again. I will do as you suggested and talk to a surgeon for an opinion. I guess I just have to try and gently persuade him to get help.
LWillisjr - Thankyou

[Jonbinspain]

Hi Bonnie;

If he won't help himself, it goes without saying that there's very little anyone can do. In most cases, sex is very possible even with Peyronies. However, due to the unusual circumstances surrounding your husband's case, he really needs to see a very competent and knowledgable urologist.

If all else fails, perhaps a penile implant would solve his problem. Again though, it's  something along with all other options that he needs to discuss with the Uro.

Yes, your struggle is with him and his current attitude. Hopefully, he will snap out if it.

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