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Author Topic: A tragic story  (Read 3147 times)

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ThePerfectMelody

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A tragic story
« on: July 01, 2014, 02:46:14 AM »

I'm 29 and I've had to deal with a curved penis and Erectile Dysfunction from day one of becoming sexually active. I don't remember how old I was when I injured my penis, but it was before puberty. I started to notice a downward curve in my penis at around 12. It progressively got more dramatic. I became well aware of it but it didn't become much of an issue until I became sexually active at 16. So in short, I've had to deal with this damn condition my entire sexual life. And it has wreaked havoc on my social development ever since.

I feel like having this condition has stopped me from living an authentic life and I have been depressed for 11 years because of it. I am a naturally upbeat, fun, and social person. Also I am a very sexual person. I think I would have very high sexual self-esteem if this condition hadn't eroded my confidence. I think without this condition I would be successful in having solid romantic relationships and friendships. But because of it, I'm left with isolation, loneliness, depression, anxiety, and a lack of creativity and motivation. The two things that I have going for me is a supportive family who knows what I go through and pursuing my dream of playing music. Other than that I feel completely stifled as a person. I am likeable and get invited to go out with guys who are chasing girls and living the dream but I many times don't go because I am just too depressed over my life situation. It sucks because I love being with women but I just am so crestfallen about not ever being able to be natural about things like the other guys I know. So I isolate myself, am sad, and wasting my life away. The hardest part is that I feel like I can't be who I am naturally because of this condition. I think I would be a chill guy , go-with-the-flow guy and very social and sexually liberal. The only way I can explain how the disease has taken that away from me is to imagine a person who was born to be an athlete and feels that's what they were meant to do in life and then to have an accident and become paralyzed and not be able to do what they feel is what they are supposed to do. I feel like my life was stolen from me and I am left as a depressed and broken man.
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