Newly Diagnosed

[Rothko]

Greetings,

I am a 55 year old man who has been suffering from my third bout of major depression, which has lasted for the past three and a half years.  Since ED is a common feature of depression, as well as the SSRI meds prescribed, I pretty much passed off erectile problems as a result of this.  However, about 4 months ago, after switching meds several times (my psychiatrist has been very supportive) to improve sexual functioning, I started to notice slight downward curvature.  Still, I felt this was probably a function of the depression.  Then I noticed that achieving erections was becoming more difficult when masturbating.  This caused even more anxiety and hopelessness.  I avoided even trying as it would cause more anxiety and depression.  My weak erections were becoming more distorted.  I started my research.  I made an appointment with a urologist, who confirmed my diagnosis.  He prescribed Cialias, 5 mg. per day with Vitamin E and Theophylline (which made me very sick and gave me severe headaches).  This was last week.  I began to feel that a second opinion might be helpful, particularly since I am still early on in this.  I have found a specialist in Peyronies, and will see him next week.  He doesn't take my insurance, but I am prepared to pay the expense for better peace of mind and, hopefully, better results.

I feel that life has given me a double blow, as i now have to work this through without even fully recovering from a lengthy depressive episode.  I am exhausted and striving for hope.  While the curvature is not severe, it is progressing.  I am also equally as concerned about regaining erectile function to again have a sexual relationship.  I have not had sex in over a year, much to do with the depression, in conjunction with the onset of this disease.  

I have been in such pain for so long now.  I feel this is truly a testament to my resolve.  Neither depression or Peyronies are easy topics to share with others, particularly Peyronies.  If I didn't have two loving dogs who need me, a great job (which I have been able to maintain, yet with great effort) plus loving friends and family, I would have given up long ago.  Still, I fight.  I used to be so outgoing, dynamic, in great shape, and enjoyed sex and love. I was proud of my sexual prowess and enjoyed intimacy immensely.   I hope I can again regain some of my former self.  I realize this is not going to resolve quickly.  Any words of encouragement are appreciated.
Rothko

[alwaysreading]

Hi Rothko,

First, I'm so sorry that you have to be here, especially in your circumstances. I know what you mean about life piling it on, have had a similar experience with my Peyronie's and have also been struggling with depression that existed before the Peyronies Disease but has definitely worsened since. I wish I had a silver bullet for you, or even something that would make an immediate difference, but I don't. All I can say is that it does get easier, but that in the meantime you should be kind to yourself! If you wake up and have a difficult day, it'll be easy to say "I should be handling this better" or feel that you should be less devastated. What is happening to you is very difficult, and while it's possible you'll make a full or nearly full recovery, it will probably be a long road. You should give yourself time to grieve and not beat yourself up when you get upset. I know personally that one of the hardest things to do is to watch the curvature and/or ED progress and feel like there's nothing you can do about it. Your urologist at least did well with the Cialis, but you should also get on Pentox, CoQ10/Ubiquinol, Arginine and Carnitine (I also take the Vitamin E even though it hasn't been shown to work because, well, it doesn't hurt in reasonable doses). Especially the Pentox. I was so low when my Peyronies Disease started. I was in a lot of pain and felt the consistency of my penis changing, as well as a decrease in size and the onset of severe ED. It was absolutely devastating and, frankly, still is. But being aggressive about treatment really helped me feel like I was at least taking some control of what was happening to me. Also, if your erections are not painful (it sounds like they are not), you should begin using VED as soon as possible. Old Man and others have had great success with it and have developed an amazing set of resources available on the VED boards (one of the sub-boards on this site).

No matter what treatment you end up doing, know that this community is full of amazing people that have helped me so much through this difficult time. I literally do not know where I'd be without this site. My friends and family have been extremely supportive, but I've also found that there is a limit to how much people who haven't experienced this can understand where you're at. In personal conversations with people I met on this site, I was surprised at how similar our experiences were, how the same things were painful or made us feel inadequate or isolated. So just remember, there are people here who want to help you, who know what you're going through, and some who have come out the other side healthy and whole, even if the curvature/ED is still present. I think I speak for a lot of them when I say I'm so grateful to the people who reached out to me and consider it a gift to be able to do the same. PM me if you want to talk, whether via Skype or whatever. Good luck man, and keep your head up as best you can.

[james1947]

Rothko

I am expressing bellow my opinion, but I am not a doctor and not a psychologist.
You have to start immediately treatment to stop the disease from progressing and reverse the symptoms.
My proposal to you is to start immediately with:
VED (carefully not to over-pump), Pentox, low dose Cialis (You have already) and Ubiquinol.
Read much as you can on this treatment, go and get prescription for Pentox and VED (prescription for VED you can get if it is for ED).
Stop taking Theophylline and tell that to your doctor.
Hope with the treatment above you can be sexually active shortly.
You may try Viagra for sex if you don't have health problems (low blood pressure for example).

James

[Rothko]

Thanks guys,
I did see a specialist.  I did get on Pentox, and was put on VED and PTT.  It's been a while, seen no positive changes, but have been consistent with the therapy prescribed.  Saw another specialist that takes my insurance (after paying thousands out of pocket with one that didn't); One of the big NYC guys, Dr. M.  He examined me and couldn't feel plaque (although the first uro and another PA working for the specialist said they did), said 'he didn't think I had Peyronies", but scheduled another ultra sound to be done in six weeks.  I supposed I should feel better, but somehow now I'm totally confused.  Two MD's diagnosed me, and now one not sure.  I know that Peyronies can be present without palpable plaque, so I'm biding my time until the second US. Frankly, if it's not Peyronies, I don't know what it could be.  Still the distortion and ED are there, and the depression is getting worse again.  I know there is great suffering in the world, but sill, living life with a jacked-up d**k sucks, even if you're the only one who knows.

Will post again after my next appt.