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Author Topic: [Introduction & Story-time] This is my story.  (Read 2721 times)

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Transcendent

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[Introduction & Story-time] This is my story.
« on: September 14, 2013, 04:58:16 PM »

Hello, I just found out about this disease a few days ago. What I've found so far is mighty interesting and just recently I found out about this forum as well. After a quick look-through I decided to share my story with you all. It ended up being pretty long but it's spoken(written) from my heart. This is the first time I've shared any of my experiences with anyone, so I guess you might be considered lucky, maybe(?). :)

Age? - 24
What did your medical doctor conclude? - Haven't contacted one.
How long have you had symptoms? - For as long as I can remember.
What are your symptoms? - I'll explain below, as indepth as I possibly can.
What treatments have you tried and what were the results? - Nothing, I've lived in denial so far.
Do you have insurance or means to get medical treatment? - I wouldn't know.
where are you in dealing with the psychological aspects of Peyronies Disease? - I haven't, this is the first time I'm talking about it.
Are you in a relationship? - No, a lot more about that below.

Hello again, I'm 24 years old and I've had the symptoms of Peyronies Disease as far as I can remember. Although it hasn't been confirmed yet by a professional, I can pretty much confirm it myself due to my prominent symptoms I've had pretty much all of my life.

So, what are these symptoms you might ask? Well, my penis is extremely bent, which is as I've just learned very typical syndromes for Peyronies Disease. Not only that, this "scar tissue" (or whatever it is called.) can be found on the above regions of my "shaft". Specifically the above middle-regions of the shaft, continuing down to my left-side as well. Giving the bend a not only upward-pointing fashion, but also a slight bend to my left as well. This "scar tissue" as I suspect it indeed should be, is in my case extremely hard and sort of "bumpy" during erection. As I compare with the rest and the opposing side of the shaft, there is no doubt in my mind that there is something going on here.

As mentioned, I've had these symptoms throughout all of my life. I remember one of the first times I got an erection, it was with a close friend of mine back when we were very young. We had stolen an Adult Magazine from a unsuspecting relative and we looked through it together. Being as young as we was the "enigma" of our young wands and the fact that we didn't quite understand what we were looking at didn't shame us. We both ended up experiencing probably one of our first erections both me and my friend. We both made a comment that my "thing" had a pretty strange shape to it. My friend's was sharp and straight while mine was bent almost like a cheese doodle.

This never worried me until the later parts of my teen-life. I asked myself, how am I supposed to have intercourse with a woman with this thing? Can I really insert my "Cpt. Hook" without too much effort, without causing too much strain on either me or my partner? Most likely not since I've been having troubles masturbating all of my life. Although through my very trial-and-error type of experience even I have had the chance to being able to relax once in a while, I've never even thought of actually "trying my luck" with a woman.

Don't get me wrong though, I dream as every other teenager. (In that sense I'm still that 17  year old boy) It's just that I don't want to experience that half-assed attempt most likely going to end up in total failure. I mean, should I even end up in such a situation I feel that maybe I need to talk to my potential partner first about my condition. Great, no problem! ... As I have trouble speaking to strangers face-to-face, even on the phone, thanks to my fantastic social anxiety disorder.

I haven't been socially awkward all of my life, as I think it came together with the realization that I can't have intercourse. Or maybe I can, I just don't know and I don't dare try out. Back in high school I was one of the top-figures of popularity. Me and my core-group of friends was considered the "cool guys", always being in center and having a lot of friends. I had the ability to make everyone laugh, even the teachers on many occasions. I was pretty good-looking and to my knowledge I was the guy whom has had the most girlfriends of all the guys in my class.

So, what happened exactly? Nothing in particular, it was just that friends started dating and spending time with girls and I didn't dare follow. So I started to hide myself, as I had always been a gaming-kid I quickly found my solution. My escape if you will.

Do you know what the worst thing is. (I'm tearing up as I write this... f*ck my life.) I never got the chance to experience that time as most other teenagers do. I never got the chance to date and eventually make love to that young cute girl in class. I had the opportunity, I could've. Damnit, I had one of the most beautiful and popular girls in the entire school back when I was 17. She was mine, we kissed and hugged but I was too afraid to take it one step further. I just couldn't do it, and I couldn't talk to her about it either. Eventually we split as she lost interest. Who wouldn't? I had longer than a month to make a move, or to talk to her and make her understand my difficulties. The regrets, boy, you have no idea. You can't imagine how many times I've thought to myself "if I could re-live that moment."

You know what I mean though? I can't even watch chick flicks without tearing up as the fictional "Hollywood romance" is basically the only thing I know. I've only been in love once... Sure I've had girlfriends but I'm talking about that true love. I was dying for this girl but I couldn't show it, and for reasons mentioned above, I couldn't share or explain it to her either. Instead I just backed away, I F^@$!ng SLUNK out of the entire situation.

The worst thing is, even though I haven't met my old girlfriend in years I still have feelings for her. I find myself somewhat regularly dreaming about her and the time we had together. I know that's strange but it's like I emotionally shutdown when I started "hiding". I took my emotions and imprisoned them somewhere deep in my heart. It seems like they are bleeding through from time to time. Last time I saw her I just pretended like I didn't see her even though she waved at me from the side. All while my pulse was climbing extremely fast, I couldn't even turn around and talk to her. I'm such a jerk, such a disappointment.

Not only in relationships but in career as well. I failed multiple times taking the drivers permit, which I need in order to get a job as I live in a pretty secluded or isolated place. So, I'm sitting in my parents house still. My two older siblings have moved out and started their own lives a long time ago. I finished my education after highschool without any major problems. However I couldn't ever get a job as without drivers license I can't get into town in time. After a few years of just sitting about, I decided to go back to studies again. Still studying in the same "area" of my previous education, just extending it a little bit and opening a few more options. Barely made it through thanks to the public transportation more often than not took between 2 and 3 hours one-way trip into town. (See, this is a problem when the earliest bus leaves 05:30 and your work hour starts 07:00.)

I've just recently gotten a great opportunity from a very close friend of mine I've gained through gaming to go with him to a neighbour country to work (in my "field of expertise", at least educational-wise.) Although it seems like the offer stands indefinetely as he's not leaving alone, I'm still stuck here for the time being. My parents have it pretty tough, they've tried to much with helping me with funding my drivers permit but after a dozen failed attempts I can't bear asking them for help. Especially since I know they can't afford it, even if they might help me with what little they have.

On another note, I'm a self-taught guitarist and a pianist. I just recently started playing around with the piano, but I've played the guitar for about a decade now. I'm pretty good but thanks to my social anxiety I can't play ifront of others. I've been asked to play on many ocassions for relatives on high-holidays but I just can't do it. I blame it on "stage fright", little do they know it burns much deeper than that.

Not even my parents know, although I suspect they have their theories as to my "shy behavior". I'd say that they would blame the "gaming", again, little do they know that the gaming was my escape from a much more concerning problem. Gaming might indirectly have something to do with it but it's definitely not the main-cause for concern here.

TL;DR Social anxiety, possible Peyronies Disease, unemployed 24 year old virgin. Quite the title I must say.

I'm all yours, ask away.


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danbon

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Re: [Introduction & Story-time] This is my story.
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2013, 09:08:16 PM »

Transcendent

What a story man, mine is actually very similar with the difference that I know what caused it. My Story is in the post "My Story and Treatment Plan" here in the introduction section of the forum.

As you have probably have seen in the forum we have bad news and good news. The bad news obviously are that there is no standard cure for this condition. The good ones are that it can be treated and in some cases even reverse completely(which will be considered a cure I guess).

In the meantime, I would recommend that you start a treatment plan consisting of attacking the condition from multiple directions: James 1947 has a statement that comes every time he posts stating the following Pentox, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Cialis, L-Arginine, Ubiquinol & VED.

I'm going to follow a different treatment because I would like to try a more natural approach first,but if in a few months I do not see any improvement I will hit it more aggressively.

I'm currently using a penis extender to straighten my penis instead of doing VED
instead of using Cialis I'm going to use VigRx Plus and Semenax
I'm taking CoQ10,but I'm going to switch to Ubiquinol within two weeks
I'm going to continue Acetyl-L-Carnitine.

Hope this gets you started on your treatment.
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jackp

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Re: [Introduction & Story-time] This is my story.
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2013, 01:19:10 PM »

Transcendent

What a story from such a young man. 

From your description it sound like you were born with this condition. 

I believe your country has a social medicine system. You need to see a urologist to determine your condition. He could refere you to other sources of help. Once you define your condition and treatment a sex therapist could be of great benefit to you.

Until you know for sure what your condition is it will be hard to give advice as to treatment.

Good Luck, go to a good urologist and start on the road to recovery.

Jackp
http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com
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Transcendent

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Re: [Introduction & Story-time] This is my story.
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2013, 02:52:44 PM »

Thank you for the replies.

Yes, I've been planning to get a full diagnosis of my condition for sure as soon as I get my life "back on track" so to speak. I realize that my story was a little bit, over the top, if you will. I got sort of emotional when I started writing, it kind of felt good to tell someone about it for once. I was a little bit worried that it would be a little bit too cheesy but I figured, if anyone is going to show sympathy It'd be people that's in the same boat as I am.

Regarding danbon's reply; I've been sort of looking at an extender for a long time but I haven't had the guts nor the funds to actually invest in one. It's somewhat worrying though with the lack of non-biased information and reports regarding these things which doesn't really make things easier. Although, I guess the stigma of the sex doesn't really work in anyones favor.
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james1947

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Re: [Introduction & Story-time] This is my story.
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2013, 09:00:04 PM »

Transcendent

As I know, your country have maybe the best health care system in the world.
Nothing should not cost you money.
You should see a specialist as soon as you can and start doing something.

And no, your story is not too long :)
Welcome to the forum
James
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Age 71, Peyronies from Jan 2009 following penis fracture during sex. Severe Erectile Dysfunction.
Lost 2" length and a lot of girth. Late start, still VED, Cialis & Pentox helped. Prostate surgery 2014.
Got amazing support on the forum
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