Introduction to Edzo67

[edzo67]

This is a diary that I started to keep which included photos of progression I didnt post them here but if anyone is interested i will private message them. I stopped keeping up with the diary a few months ago, I guess I was discouraged. The state of my situation now is as follows. To date I have lost about an inch and a half in length and almost half an inch in circumferance. I am taking once daily cialis and can have workable erections, though they are not full. I have some hinging effect at the head of my penis and little to no blood flow into the head during erection, so in effect its like losing another inch of penis size. Im starting to notice a twist to the right of entire length and have about a 20 degree bend downward approx. 2/3 up the shaft towards the head, as well as small indentantions on top and both sides of my penis. It also seems the scar is affecting my urine stream shooting it out to the left and sometimes a weak stream.My size when erect was a hair under 7.5in and is now about 6in on a good day but with the hinging its more like 5in.   AND SO MY STORY BEGINS>>>>It Starts in April of 2012.  One morning I awoke with an erection, like I had on many occasions before, only this time it was painful. I wasn't sure what caused the pain, I didn't remember injuring myself down there recently .Initially I guess I thought that perhaps I was masterbating too frequently. I was troubled by this , but not overly concerned, I guess I figured it would pass in a day or so. Days came and went and still the pain persisted. I would still masturbate daily , but with more caution. I also would have sex with my wife and that proved to be even more painful, affecting my ability to reach orgasm. As days and then weeks passed the pain seemed to increase and become psychologically troubling and I thought maybe it was time to see my urologist. It dawns on me that about 3 weeks or so before the pain I had a sexual encounter with my wife and I felt a pop during intercourse , but felt no pain from it. It had happened in the past more than a few times and never had a problem from it. At the time I made my Urologist appointment about 2 months of painful erections had passed and on examining my penis I could feel a lump near the end of my penis just below the head. My regular Urologist was not available for my appointment, so I saw his nurse practitioner instead, which was embarrassing as she was an attractive female and my male ego was slightly damaged. Upon her exam she felt around the area and thought maybe it was just a thrombosed vein and it would heal in time. I somewhat accepted this diagnosis and went about life as usual. The only thing I changed in my routine is I reduced my masturbation frequencies. Around the third or fourth month I noticed that my penis was starting to bend downward very slightly about two thirds up, towards the head and then I noticed a small indentation on the left side of my penis just below the head. At this time my ability to achieve a full erection became an issue, I couldn't achieve a full erection even with the help of Viagra. This became very troubling for me mentally and I thought it was time to see the Urologist again. I called my Uro  and he told me  that it sounded like Peyronies Disease and he didn't think he needed to see it .UGH! Meanwhile, I'm becoming  deeply troubled by my condition and was very angry at my Uro's lack of interest in examining me in person. My once healthy sexual appetite was now disappearing before my eyes. As weeks went by the bend would become a little more pronounced as well as the indentation on the left side. It is also at this time when I start to notice a decrease in the circumference of my penis especially towards the tip of my penis and I also noticed a decrease in length as well. Now the crap is really starting to hit the fan for me mentally. I called my Uro again and demand that I see him personally and not an assistant. It took me a few weeks to book an appointment to see him. Finally I get a chance to see my Urologist and upon his exam he confirms that it is indeed Peyronies and he informed me that there were no treatment options for me at this time and to wait and see how it develops over time. He said it so coldly and without any kind of compassion in his voice, meanwhile I'm about to explode inside. He sends me on my way and says "come back in a year or so and lets see how it goes. Maybe it will clear up on its own". WTF! At this point I am scouring the internet looking for any and all information out there on Peyronies and possible treatments. What I find is a bunch of internet preditors looking to cash in on my fellow Peyronie sufferers. Most of the websites I look at don't seem to have much credibility. Any of the legit sites I find have very little words of hope. I look for support pages and most of them are full of crap too, and don't appear very serious over have other motivations in mind, like the get healed quick scams.
before Peyronies change
All the while my condition seems to be getting worse. I do purchase a penile traction device, because it seems to make the most sense to me. I tried it out and it was very uncomfortable to wear , so I stopped using it, thinking maybe I should talk to a Doctor about it first so I don't hurt myself. During this time I am having increased depression and trouble talking about it with my wife. I feel very alone and now scared that my wife is going to leave me eventually if I'm not able to satisfy her sexually. She is upset with me because I don't go to bed with her at night, which had been an issue before the Peyronies , but now is worse because of my mental state and depression. I can see her frustration with me increasing. I think maybe she doesn't want to deal with this issue as we have had problems that go back a couple of years and this maybe the last straw. After all what good am I now if I can't satisfy her in any way shape or form? I am feeling like I am losing my identity as a man. I fear that I will lose the ability to be sexually intimate with a woman ever again. I enjoy the companionship of a woman, but what woman wants to be with a man that can't perform sexually? So many mixed emotions , but I try to remain hopeful. As my internet scouring continues, I happen upon Men's Health Boston and decide to call them to see if their founder Dr. Morgantaler is taking on new patients. Much to my disappointment Dr. M isn't available and he would need a $5000 retainer to boot! I lose my patients with the poor girl on the other end of the phone as she was about to tell me they have other Dr's available at their group, and hang up on her. This is what I am becoming, a short tempered dick. Or short dick tempered! After I regain my composure I decided to call her back and let her finish what she had to say, as I have no other options at this point. I am trying to be proactive here. The woman at BMH told me of another Urologist that is taking patients and I make an appointment. At my first appointment I met with Dr. Conners. He is very nice and makes me feel comfortable right off the bat and there is reassurance and compassion in his words and voice. I now start to feel like there might be hope and im not alone in this. At the end of my first appointment with Dr. Connors he sent me to have some blood work to check my testosterone levels and a few other things and I set another appointment for a couple weeks down the road. On my next visit I was to have an ultrasound done while I was erect. This was difficult because it's hard to have an erection and pretty much impossible to have a full erection. They tried to induce the erection by injecting my penis with an agent made for that purpose. Man was that painful!!
After 5 or 6 months pic.                         After the injection we waited awhile but I could only get a little more than half hard. I guess that was sufficient enough and they began the ultrasound that is designed to give us results on the blood flow to and from the penis when aroused. The conclusion of that test was, I fell into normal blood flow category but the blood wasn't able to be trapped long enough to sustain a normal erection. UGH again as my blood test came back fine .Testosterone levels were in the normal ranges. Meaning my treatments were going to be limited, and for me? surgry is not an option I want to explore just yet. The consult after the test wasn't as promising as I was hoping for. We talked about Verapemil injections, which didn't sound appealing to me as im sitting there with a painfully throbbing dick. I told him that I would need some time to think about it. I also told him I would try my traction device as well and get back to him. After thinking about it for a couple of days I think that im going to try the injections , however painful they might be and it might not have any effect on my peyronies, its better than nothing. I have been wearing my traction device for three days now , a minimum of 3 hours per night. It is really uncomfortable and I take it off every hour or so to take a break. Tomorrow 2/26/13, I will call BMH to set up appointments for my Verapermil injections and im not looking forward to it, I hate needles and down there is especially disturbing. Did I mention the traction device hurts to wear? Maybe I should ask the doc about it. The area of plaque seems to be located at the site where the penis straps to the device and I wonder if it will do further damage. At this time I feel like I want to develop a web page support group to help myself and others deal with this horrible condition. I could really use the extra support and im sure there are many that feel like I do. 2/28/13- I'm on day 5 of traction and its getting a tiny bit more tolerable to wear the device and I have been trying different  comfort measures for the saddle part of the device up at the penis head Yesterday I tried using a large bandage wrapped around the area and it didn't work out. Today I fitted the strap with soft foam tubing and it seems a little better .I have been taking breaks from the device once an hour and its helping make it bearable. I also made my 6 Verapamil injection appointments, they start on March 25th.
3/4/13—Despite having reservations about continuing to wear the traction device, I decided to press  on for a bit. I have been using it for nine days now, however I did miss one day because I fell asleep much too early. I feel like my penis in the flaccid state is gaining some more flexability, but I haven't taken any measurements to confirm this. Last measurement I took was about a month ago in a ¾ or more erect state. Before my Peyronies started to make changes in shape I was a little over 7-1/4 fully erect and about 5-3/4 in circumference consistently the whole length . At last measure I was about 6" a little less than fully erect  and 5-1/4 from the base about 2/3 up the shaft tapering off to about 4-3/4 just below the head. Im still having trouble achieving a full erection, but it seems like its coming back a small amount. I am starting to get back morning erections on most days. Hopefully I can find time this week to do another measurement while erect. I will take half a Viagra 50mg. to help me out. Sex in my marriage is becoming a thing of the past. .ok about an hour has past since I started tonites traction. I am still wearing for an hour or so, I take a break for 15 or 20 minutes and repeat. I bounce back and forth between 2 and 3 hours a night. It's still uncomfortable to wear any longer than that. I find myself staring at the clock around the half hour or forty-five minute mark, willing the clock to reach the one hour mark.
3/6/13     I added another .5 cm to my traction device yesterday, but I'm still not above 3 hours a day of wearing it. I'm still finding it uncomfortable and I wonder if I am doing more damage. I think I will keep it at 3 hours until I see my DR. again. I took a quarter of a Viagra this morning so I could take some pictures and measurements. I was able to get a fairly strong erection for a brief period and it measured 6 3/8" and still 5 ¼" for 2/3 of the shaft, actually 5 3/8 in the middle at my hardest. The degree of bend however seems like it may have increased and I hope its not from the device. 3/6/13 pics

3/10/13---- I got a little nervous the other day about doing damage wearing the traction device, so I stopped wearing it for a day. I wanted to give it a break and let the soreness heal up a bit. It did after a day off. I called my Uro and talked to his Nurse Practitioner. I explained to him my reservations about continuing traction and he told me he hasn't heard of traction making it worse, but he wasn't convincing. He is a nice guy ,but he comes off as not knowing what he is talking about sometimes or I should say he comes off as not being sure what the correct  answers are. In which case I think he should just say he is not sure or let me look into it. To me that would be more comforting than coming off sounding like u don't know what you're talking about. Anyhow , I'm back to wearing my device 3 hours or so a night. I really do think it is helping to loosen things up a bit. I am noticing more and more frequent spontaneous erections. They are still not fully hard or rigid , but erections are a good start.
I would really like to try having sex soon , but my relationship is somewhat strained and its not looking promising. I had a total mental breakdown a couple of days ago. I was just driving down the street and I started balling uncontrollably for about an hour. I think it was all the pent up stress from dealing with this condition and trying to keep optimistic with little to no mental support. Not to mention everyday life crap. I guess my body needed that release and it kind of felt good , but I don't think it's the last one I'll have. It's two more weeks until I start Verapamil injections. I am still apprehensive because of my fear of needles  , but I still have 14 days to pump myself up for it mentally. I truly believe in my heart that this is not the end of the road for my penis. I will not except defeat and giving up hope is not an option.
3/18/13       I stopped the traction therapy for 5 days, mostly because I was working out of town with a friend and wouldn't be able to keep my traction therapy concealed while sharing a hotel room.
So I began again on 3/16 and had sex for the first time in a while on the 17th.  Sex was OK, I used a half of a Viagra to help out and was able to maintain a sufficient erection for the duration. I really need to get some feed back from the wife to see what position feels best for her. It seems that's sideways with me on top and from behind works best for me. She was difficult to read after sex, so I don't know if she is enjoying it at all or just going through the motions. I start Verapamil injections a week from today and the butterflies are stirring. I am not looking forward to being a human pin cushion. The traction still hurts a bit. The first night back after my 5 day hiatus was OK, I was able to wear the device for 2 hours straight without much discomfort. The second day was a different story. I had quite a bit of discomfort and fought to keep it on. It also seems like my Peyronies is starting to flare a bit. I hope I am wrong, but it seems like I am having more discomfort during erections/intercourse. It had seemed to decrease over the last couple of months. I think at the mid-way point of this week I will add another .5 spacer to my traction device. Got to work in 2 hours, should think about sleeping for an hour or so. Sleep has still been a problem for me. The Mental anguish is awful sometimes/most of the time.
3/21/13- I added another .5 spacer to the traction yesterday. It is a little uncomfortable and I am finding that wearing the device day after day is really irritating my junk. I really wish I could do an every other day regamine , but I don't know if it will defeat the purpose. I will have a few questions for the Dr. when I start my injections on Monday 3/25. I have to try to up my game in the bedroom and find new exciting ways to pleasure the wife. It sucks not being able to be spontaneous when it comes to sex. I don't like the idea of having to plan it out so I can take a pill to get an erection.
3/26/13—I missed my appointment for verapamil injection yesterday but was able to reschedule for today. It was every bit as painful as I thought it would be and more! I was really skiddish about the whole thing from the start. The Dr. numbed the area first , which was uncomfortable. The Dr. gave me the numbing injection and then waited about 10 minutes for it to take effect. Next he began the Verapamil injections and I did not feel them at first until he went deeper with the needle and then I started feeling sharp stabbing pains in what felt like my Urethra. The Dr. asked if I was OK to continue and I said yes because I just wanted it to be done. Man did that hurt!! When he was done with the injections , he then proceeded to wrap my penis very tightly with a bandage and I was out the door.
I was instructed to leave the bandage on for three or four hours to reduce the chance of bruising etc. I had a bunch of errands to do before I could go home and after about 2 hours or so my pain began to increase to almost unbearable status. I needed to get home and peel that bandage off. When I arrived home about three and a half hours had passed and I unwrapped my penis. It was swollen and cold from the lack of blood flow. I noticed bruising around the injection sites which startedto increase as the day went on. I think that by tomorrow my penis may very well be completely black and blue. Here I am about 17 hours later and the pain is more of a discomfort at this point. I wanted to continue my traction with the injections but I think I will need a day or two before I can tolerate it. I am to wait at least 24 hours before I try to have sex again. The swelling that has occurred is filling out my penis in the area that has lost circumference and is making my penis normal again. I wish the swelling would stay! LOL  It is sad to look at in a way because I know my penis will never look the same again and the swelling is making it look somewhat normal again. As painful as I am finding this treatment to be, I must push on and suck it up in the hopes of regaining some of the function I have lost .Here are some photos of post Verapamil injection day 1.




Well here I am 5 days post Verapamil injection and I am still experiencing discomfort. I feel like I did when I first hurt myself. I took a Viagra earlier today so I could check things out so to speak and to my disappointment it appears that the injections may have made my problem worse. The curve during erection appears to have gotten worse from the injections. I am beyond complete disappointment. I need to talk to my Dr. first thing Monday morning. This thing is screwing with my head more and more. I cant help but think I am being tested. There is a whole lot of soul searching going on right now, searching my feelings on what it means to be a man, what it means to me to be intimate sexually. Losing the ability to be effective in bed is particularly difficult because I believe that all my adult life it was the way I showed someone how much I cared about them. I have always had problems articulating my emotions to someone, telling them I loved or cared about them or complimenting them. Truth be told, the only time I felt comfortable saying those types of things was when my son was born. I remember the first time I said I love you and truly meant it without reservation of thinking about it, was to my son. In relationships with women it was always tough and uncomfortable for me to say those things, but in bed I felt a closeness and intimacy and the sharing of that intimacy was my way of saying I love you or I care about you. In bed during sex I felt convinced in some twisted way that the other person could feel my emotions in the way I touched them physically and that made up for the lack of verbal intimacy. I now realize how twisted that sounds in reading it as I am writing it down , but that's the way my mind works. I am not sure how I ended up being that way, maybe someday I will figure it out. This Peyronies thing is going to tear me apart or transform me, kill me or save me, either way I ultimately need to find a way to come to grips with this change that I feel will define and expose me and what I am really made of. It will also in all probability, show me what my wife is made of as well. On the subject of my wife... I wonder what is really going inside of her head? I have a feeling in my gut that it is not anything good or maybe I'm just paranoid. BTW, I have suspended my traction therapy until further notice.

[IhatePD]

edzo67,

Boy can I relate to what you wrote from how it developed to including how you express love for someone through physical contact.

First things first, don't quit on the traction device. I had the exact same issues and from recommendations by Obsie and YYY on this blog, I purchased a Va3 Extension Device from autoextender.com to modify my andropenis traction device. You place tape on the glans of your penis and using a rubbery sleeve and a rubbery collar you slip over your penis you provide traction without having to strap down your penis causing pain and lack of circulation.

I have been able to wear it for 3 hours straight without any issues so I highly recommend it. If your penis bend is downward, you should be wearing your extension device pointed upward. I do the opposite as I bend upward.

I have had days where I have worn it for as much as 11 hours (weekends) but I am averaging about 6-7 hours per day. Don't give up on it. The andropenis recommends 9 hours per day for Peyronies Disease treatment.

On a personal level, talk with your wife. Start communicating now, don't wait. Take it from me as I am now getting divorced. I am 58 and our marriage of 31 years had problems all stemming from our inability to communicate. My Peyronies Disease problem started right as our marriage fell apart and I have not had sex in six months, the longest I have gone since I was 17. I am planning to take my penis out for a test drive next Tuesday - all day with a beautiful 31 year old female friend. We have the date all set up although she doesn't know about my Peyronies Disease as it has developed since we last played together. Yes, that does mean I screwed up during my marriage but believe it or not, that is still not why I am getting divorced.

Fix your marriage if you can. I really tried to fix mine but it was too late. Most important, do not give up in your Peyronies Disease fight. We only get one shot at this life and I am going to run mine out in a blaze of glory (sex included). I am commanding my body to fix itself and I am taking Pentox, Ubiquinol, Acetly L-Carnatine and daily Cialis. I have my six month follow up with my urologist in November. He was part of the Xiaflex trials and is very optimistic that it will help many of us.

Keep fighting, I know it isn't easy.

[LWillisjr]

edzo67,
I read your diary posting. I understand how mentally devastating this disease can be. I'm curious about the time period you were masturbating daily. Were you married then, and if so why would you have the need to masturbate? My wife tells me I am robbing her of an opportunity to connect with me when I do that. We make love, we touch, massage, and yes at times masturbate each other. You don't always have to resort to intercourse. So since you are concerned about satisfying her, and connecting with her, you can still be intimate in the bedroom. Would she accept you totally focusing on her, touching her, masturbating her?

Please don't give up on your marriage. Communicate with your wife about what you are going through, and find other ways to connect with her emotionally and physically.

[inkhorn]

Hey Edo67- I feel your pain, brother mentally and physically. You didn't state your age, but reading between the lines, I'm guessing your a bit younger then the three of us that responded to your post. I'm 62 and been married 35 years. You like me have been to hell with this Peyronies. I've been in this cock fight for three and a half years. First prostate cancer followed by major incontinence, ED, epididymitis, and peyronies. I think you feel hopeless, but you will overcome if you persist. Going to the Uro is great, but I think the volume of knowledge you can gain from the forum, from guys that have tried everything is where you have to be. Finding the way to beat this thing is like a dog hunting for a coon. While the dog is on the scent of the coon, he picks up the scent of a rabbit and he goes for it. They call it "chasing rabbits". If he keeps it up he is of no use to the hunter. Don't chase rabbits, find a course of acton that works for you,stay on it and be patient. You yourself said you are being tested and this is going to make you or break you. Before gold goes to the furnace, it is full of dross and looks like a dirty rock. The fire in the furnace burns off the impurities and out comes the gold. Maybe your in the furnace. Your post reminds me that I have to be more sensitive to my wife. I've always known it, but it is great to be reminded. We are all students and teachers. One word of advice about the bedroom, that I've practiced my entire marriage. Make sure she gets off first, through what ever form of foreplay she likes and then you penetrate. Do that and you will have no problem "reading her" afterward or wondering whether she liked it. The glow will speak for it self. Regards Inkhorn

[edzo67]

inkhorn, Im 45. been with my wife or 17 years. i have always been giving in the bedroom and put my wife first. the relationship has been trying at times as she is not a very supportive partner. She doesnt ask at all how im doing or how i am coping, so it makes it tough. Its not like she just woke up one day and was like that. i knew that ahead of time, its not a part of her makeup, but im in need of it at this time. I have dealt with a lot of adversity in my life and never needed a shoulder to cry on and considered myself tough emotionally, but this has really tested me, because it attacks the primal emotions of being a man and what we as men percieve what it means to be a man. In my wifes defense, i never wanted to be mothered and have typically not been attracted to woman who have that trait. this is not a subject that people without peyronies can or want to talk about and im glad i found u guys. Thanks  

[NeoV]

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Wow Edzo. I feel for you immensely. I wondered how many men with peyronies have to hide it and own it themselves due to a non-communicating lover. My girl is a "non-giver" when it comes to anything. No comforting, basically incapable of it. Even so I love her to death. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life, beyond pornographic in all features. Her beauty is of an eerie quality. The reasons we are together are not limited to that however.

At times I feel so unqualified to satisfy her sexually.  Being with someone like this is an entire topic of itself, the lessons it teaches you.. Most men, including myself would suggest being with a different girl. But for some of us there is a reason we seek these types of relationships. It's like being stranded on an abandoned island. Add peyronies to the mix and you are trapped on that island with a monster to fend for yourself, unwitnessed and unseen. As someone said below, this kind of pressure or "heat" changes you if you are forced or willing to endure it. I don't know what it is I'm becoming. But sometimes I feel that the only way fight this monster is to become a kind of monster of my own.  

[Jonbinspain]

Edzo

You're right when you say that this strikes right at the heart of what it means to be a man. The wounds are far deeper than just the physical ones.

I also share your problem with my relationship with my wife. For me, I seriously considered that we should split up because I expect more than that from somebody who is supposed to love me. In my view, if she's incapable or unwilling to give you her support, maybe you're with the wrong person?

I went as far as getting a girlfriend some 20 years younger than me. She had no problem with it. I can get an erection, no problem, and we worked our way around the curvature. Although we have now separated as she wants a more permanent relationship, it did wonders for my self esteem, and made me realise that, with a will on both sides, you can still enjoy a decent sex life.

[edzo67]

i have learned that u cant rely on someone else for your own happiness. It has to come from u. i hold myself responsible for my own pain and happiness and wont use anybody as a scapegoat. That being said, we all need someone to lean on at times and who better than u guys? U are the only ones who can truly understand. Its like having a child and trying to desrcibe the feeling to someone who doesnt have kids. They will never truly know until they feel it for themselves. To me, its that intense dealing with this issue

[funnyfarm]

Very well said edzo.  We are all here to support one another.    

[MtnSurf]

Dealing with peyronies is to deal with enormous loss from my experience. Something that once meant & represented so much to you is gone in a sense. Most people I've talked to about Peyronies Disease don't understand the level of grief, anger & frustration the condition can bring you. I'm 43 and have never dealt with something that has dragged me down emotionally the way Peyronies Disease has. What you use to only associate with pleasure & gave you so much confidence can become completely complicated by physical & emotional pain. For me nothing has ever been harder to accept than dealing with this.

Edzo, I would agree with you in that most of the emotional pain that comes with Peyronies Disease we bring on ourselves. It can wreck your life if you let it, but it's so hard to turn it off when you've lost a part of you that meant so much & may never get back. It's impossible to ignore. My struggle with Peyronies Disease has been on going for over a year & a half. I recently made the choice to go on 150mg Wellbutrin  to help deal the depression and am glad I did. I hope not to be on it for more than 6 months. It has helped make my moods more consistent & much less gloomy/hopeless. I wouldn't rule it out if you can't keep your head up. I spent way too long feeling like crap and not being able to rely on my usual methods to lift my mood like working out/running etc. Finding a qualified therapist can also help. Sorry to hear your urologist visit today brought bad news.  

[edzo67]

i find myself trying to keep as busy as possible, which isnt hard for me. I own my own plumbing business, i have a 67 chevy ive owned for 20 years that im restoring and Im a singer/guitarist in a working rock band. I havent really allowed myself much time to get down for too long, however these are all things im doing myself outside of home. I find myself maybe subconsciously doing things that dont include my wife. meaning avoiding going on vacations together etc. I really have to make a better effort in keeping this thing together and closing the gaps, but its tough. When i got home from my uro appointment she didnt ask me how it went, i guess she forgot i went. When i did tell her she didnt really have anything to say and we kind of went our seperate ways for the rest of the day. Is this due to the distance i am creating? or is she in denial regarding my situation? I think that at this point i might be a little more disturbed at the level of uncomfortableness at home and the distance that has come between me and my wife, than the peyronies. I am feeling like i am on an island. sometimes its difficult to have a complete thought as it can affect me that severly at times. I believe i have suffered depression all of my life and it seems that it runs on my dads side of the family. My dad,my brothers and uncles have all been on depression meds at different points in their life and are currently. that being said, i know how hard it is to find a depression med that works for u and can be tolerated. I ve watched my brothers and father search for years and still havent nailed down the right meds or combos of meds and have sometimes ended up being worse off than if they werent talking meds. Its that reason ive decided to make the best of it without depression meds. I dont believe they are for me, besides it makes me a better rock singer and lyricist!!:)

[Jonbinspain]

Edzo

Man, it's many years ago now, but I used to play those six strings for a living. I still have my beaten up, but genuine, Les Paul. I find that anytime I'm feeling troubled, she is my best friend. I pick her up, tell her everything, and it all comes pouring out of my fingers. For me, it's not only better than any pills, but kind of cathartic too.

[MtnSurf]

Edzo, I'm not sure of the details regarding your injury (you said it was similar to mine). Maybe your wife feels some what responsible for your injury? My ex GF bent my dick with her pelvic bone during sex which led to my peyronies (she was on top). I know she felt like she brought the whole thing on me and I'm sure she felt some what guilty about what had happened to me. I have found that as time goes on a lot of my friends grew tired of hearing about my struggle with peyronies and don't really know what to tell me. They feel bad for me but can't really offer any relevant advice. And it seemed like some guys were just uncomfortable talking about the whole thing.

That's really sad that she didn't even bother to ask you how your appointment went. Could it be that talking about it makes her very uncomfortable so she avoids it? Maybe she is in denial. It can be rough on your partner too, but not having someone close to you to confide in is gonna make it harder for you.

I hear you about the anti depressant meds. I've always been able to pull myself together through past tough times and don't like prescription meds in my body. But recently i have just grown tired of feeling low and couldn't keep my moods consistent and found myself feeling increasingly numb and not caring about much. I'm on a low dosage of wellbutrin. It's definitely helped deal with the anger & frustration Peyronies Disease brings and has actually increased my sex drive (back to my normal levels) which in my case was being lowered by depression. Research has shown it is one of the few meds that don't have negative sexual side effects and is not hard to ween yourself off of. Keeping yourself engaged in activities you love will certainly help too.  

[LWillisjr]

I find myself maybe subconsciously doing things that dont include my wife. meaning avoiding going on vacations together etc.

Is this due to the distance i am creating? or is she in denial regarding my situation? I think that at this point i might be a little more disturbed at the level of uncomfortableness at home and the distance that has come between me and my wife, than the peyronies.

I know a guy who die the same thing (avoiding vacations and creating a gap) and he is now divorced after 25 years of marriage. Allowing a gap in your relationship only allows opportunity for someone else to fill it. You can allow the distance to increase or do something to start closing the gap.

[edzo67]

Hey guys, its been a while since my last post. Just checking in with an update on my condition. The last 6 months or so i have been off any kind of treatment for my peyronies. My downward curve has gotten better! I can say that my penis is almost straight again. in fact it is straight as an arrow when i can achive full erections! However, my penis length has not returned and may have gotten a little worse and my girth has not come back either. Erections are still difficult to achieve without help ie cialis/viagra and the tip of my penis still has  give to it, meaning it doesnt get as full as the rest of it when i have an erection and it hinges a bit. I am glad that the bend has subsided and im hoping with time i will have some improvement with the rest of my penis. I havent been using my stretching device, though i would like to, but due to a back and hip injury , i have to take percocet for the pain and i dont want to chance hurting myself due to not feeling if im putting too much stress on it. staying optimistic. it sucks having the loss in length because i cant reach those places in my wifes vagina like i used to and im finding that it was part of the pleasure of our sex and sensations of sex. hope to get of the percs so i can get to stretching to see if i can gain some length back.

[james1947]

edzo67

I have merged your two topics.
Remember each member gets one topic in "Introduce Yourself". It is written in the forum rules.

James