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LadyHyacinth

Hello - I'm 28 years old and my partner, who is 42, told me this past May that he had been diagnosed with Peyronies.

We've been together for a year and a half, but we've known each other for almost 8 years and he's very very dear to me - one of my best friends even before we became involved.

My situation is perhaps a bit unique. The man in my life who has Peyronies is not my primary partner. I'm married (in an open relationship) and my husband does not have Peyronies. This obviously complicates things somewhat. My partner and I live in different cities and I spend the weekend with him at least once a month. I am quite in love with him, and want to continue to be with him and to be supportive.

My partner's condition is fairly advanced - the curve of his penis is noticeably sharper than it was when we first began sleeping together which is making intercourse increasingly challenging, and he now not only has pain during and the day following intercourse, but the skin on his penis has become stretched to the point where it's become raw a few times after we were together.

He's a very private person in certain ways and has difficulty even talking to me about Peyronies. The only discussion we've had about it that was not immediately following intercourse was when he first informed me of his diagnosis.

I'm worried that he thinks I'll abandon him because I have another partner (I won't), or that he compares himself to my husband as a sex partner, but he's not expressed these concerns to me. Truthfully, he's not expressed much of anything, and I don't want to project, but I do want to talk to him about this more openly.

Okay - I think I'm rambling a bit. Hopefully this isn't too much for an intro post.

funnyfarm

I know it takes courage so thank you for sharing your story. You seem to have a strong grasp of the situation.  The next step is to tell him exactly what you told us.   He is probably under tremendous stress and will not initiate the conversation himself, so stop waiting.

Also, I highly urge you to inform him about this forum.  The sooner he gets into treatment, the better chance he has of stopping and progression and perhaps improving his Peyronies Disease.  This forum is an oasis in a sea of bad information on the internet.  So by keeping it to yourself may not find it on his own unfortunately.  

It took me a year to find this place, and I was pretty involved in researching medical options.  
When you are in tune with the unknown, the known is peaceful.

LadyHyacinth

Thank you so much for the encouragement to start the conversation with him myself. I think I've been trying to step lightly around the whole matter because it clearly causes him a lot of pain. I was hoping that he would eventually feel comfortable coming to me to talk, but it's clear that will probably not happen any time soon. He's not much of a communicator to begin with, and this is a very emotionally complex issue for him, I would imagine.

I know he's at least tentatively looking into treatment options, but I think that until quite recently he and I were both in denial that it was going to really effect us.

james1947

LadyHyacinth

You have a good chance that this disease is going to affect your relations as it affected mine and many others :(
For this reason he should begin treatment as soon as he can.
If you can, bring him to the forum, if not, bring the forum to him by learning much as you can on the forum

Welcome to the forum
James
Age 71, Peyronies from Jan 2009 following penis fracture during sex. Severe ED.
Lost 2" length and a lot of girth. Late start, still VED, Cialis & Pentox helped. Prostate surgery 2014.
Got amazing support on the forum

jean claude

Hi there. Try getting him to visit this site, there are many therapies, helpful tips, and suggestions the both of you can pick up here. I only found it after I had surgery, and realized it would have been helpful to have found it before. My girlfriend(love her to pieces) went through with me every step of the way in my journey, and to my recovery, and things are even better than ever. I know it is tough going through Peyronies, but my girlfriend has always been encouraging, patient, and always had a way of always getting me involved in sexual activity, not necessarily with penetration, but with lots of foreplay. Even though I was not able to perform, I was not going to let my girlfriend not be satisfied, she would tell me what, and how she liked it. Be specific with him, I'm sure he will apprieciate it. The way things are now, with my girlfriend, has made me a better lover for it, as we are now engaged in all activities, which are even better than before. I hoped I helped out abit with some of my expierences...

Claude

LadyHyacinth

James1947 - it is affecting our relations. Not as much as it might if we lived in the same city (I think he's been stoically putting up with pain/discomfort once a month for my sake for a while now), but last time we were together he ended up in quite a lot of pain.

jean claude - fortunately for me he's quite, shall we say, skilled in many ways and very giving. I can say in all honesty he's by far the best lover I've ever had, even with the limitations now placed on our sex life. At the same time a part of me feels like it's mean or unfair to ask him to do things for me when anything he'd want me to do for him would just result in pain right now.  :-[

As I mentioned, he has trouble communicating his emotions. I'm going to have to open the conversation and I'm honestly very afraid of saying the wrong thing, but I know I have to do my best to just get past that.

He's also someone with very strong religious convictions, and I suspect this may be a defense mechanism, but he's told me he thinks God gave him Peyronies on purpose, which really threw me when he said it. Unless he is taking/doing something and not telling me, I don't think he's in any kind of treatment right now.

He's a really sweet person and I really love him and I really want to be a good/supportive/helpful partner. I guess I'm just feeling a bit lost and unsure of myself right now.