Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronie's Disease

[Christine]

Thank you Mick for the complimentary words.   Alas I am only the messenger.  The words truly came from above.

I really believe that there always has been and presently are far more younger victims of this condition out here dealing with this condition virtually alone because of fear, embarrassment, pride, and assumptions that life as they know it is over.   I pray that they find their way here....to this forum, where they can find support and information to arm themselves with a little bit of knowledge and wisdom to guide their re-directed steps and hopefully help them get through each day.

Blessings to you and all,

Christine

[Skjaldborg]

Thanks for providing your perspective Christine; it is incredibly valuable. As Peyronie's sufferers, we can't underestimate the important role our spouses and partners play in giving us support and in some cases, encouraging us to get treatment. Personal story: I have been worried that the shape changes downstairs were bothering my wife during "quality time." She said everything feels great and if things do change she will tell me and we will just try something else. She just said she hopes the physical pain I experience will go away so we can fully enjoy our time together (I am probably at 60% enjoyment, due to pain). I was relieved: Reassurance, honesty and communication are key.

Thanks,

Skjald

[cowboyfood]

Based on personal experience, I believe one way to "combat" self-esteem or depression (situational or other) is to limit the amount of time one thinks about their condition and instead focus on helping others in precarious situations.

Admittedly, I've been somewhat mentally consumed by the "what ifs" that our condition may impose on one.  

Although my psychological state is much improved, I've realized I need to quite using law school as an excuse to not take time (no matter how much or little) to help others.  Ironically, In my past experiences of "giving" to others I noticed that I "received" much more than I gave; particularly in the realm of positive mental health.  

So, I've taken the first step and notified various children's organizations that I am interested in volunteering my time to help children who have unfairly been the victim of unfortunate circumstances.

If anyone has any suggestions of specific groups they feel are legitimate, please feel free to let me know on this forum or pm.

CF

[Lancaster]

Women want understanding and acknowledgement of their sexual dysfunctions.  I joined the group today because yesterday I saw on the front of a Wylers powdered lemonade package; " Part of the cost of this product goes to awareness of uterine fibrosis."  Talk about putting your business out in the open.

And that got me thinking of some of the things men here have been saying about themselves.  Like, guys beating up on themselves because they can not get an erection a/c fibrosis.  "Things like "I can not please my lady."  Guys don't worry about your woman, they understand and they accept our condition.  They have to.   Remember, women are the originators of awareness and acceptance.

[Lancaster]

I just started seeing a psychologist regarding how messed up this disease has made me. It sunk in when the girl I loved left me - not for a lack of communication or understanding of the disease - but because we lost the intimacy of sex, and she could not cope with the idea of sex as non-penetrative.

I feel suicidal and hopeless, and know that for the rest of my life my fate will be to meet women, fall in love, and have them leave me for a better man who can satisfy them.

How many women have I not been able to "satisfy" with my then eight fat inches?  Oh lawd, to many to remember.  I have pumped, and licked, slapped that ass, spread those legs, licked more, and still not able to, how you say, satisfy her.  Well okay, I think I will accept that she has a sexual dysfunction, in-orgasmic I think it's called.   I will have intercourse with her, not worry about "performance."  Have my orgasm and she can use her vibrator while I kiss her.  And then we can go out for a ice cream.  

[Hawk]

Lancaster,

This is a serious forum for adults.  We encourage open mature communication but maturity means there are things which do not have to be explicitly spelled out to be understood.  In the future use both; some discretion about what you reveal, and use your verbal skills to express what you do reveal in less lurid detail while still getting your basic message across.

Hawk

[Wintercookie]

Younger sufferers of peyronies and ED need something more tangible to look forward too than vague hopes for new drugs/treatments which might never materialize, they haven't yet, or soothing words from a feminine perspective.  Life is passing by while we waste the most precious moments of night and life in misery and often isolation.  How long must we wait and wait for what might never be?  There is also from my experience a world of difference between the psychological impact of Peyronies and that of ED.  If any younger sufferer has Peyronies without significant ED and are able to achieve intercourse then my sincere advice is to make hay while the sun shines.

[GaryNC]

Hello Taylor,

I have been reading all of your posts today to try to understand a little more.  So looks like you have bought the vacuum pump and have seen a urologist.

You describe some symptoms I have never dad.  The swelling and trouble urinating etc.  

I had to hold my urine once really bad and was about to bust and when I got to a bathroom I could not pee!  It tookk me a while to force it out and had symptoms for a year or more after that.  I had to concentrate to get started.  This finally went away.  Everytime I  drink something I have to pee in 30 minutes equal to what I had just drank.  My wife  can go all day without going.  She amazes me.

Lots of men angle to the left a little from the base of the penis due to the fact of the underward they wear.  Most mens underware upens from the right so your penis gets put to the left and when you get an erection it gets pulled a little in that direction over time.  My penis has always leaned a little left and touches my stomach when erect. Some men point straight out ot at a certin angle away from the body.  All of this is normal.

The swelling and pain is not normal however and I can't get a grasp of what this is all about. A swolen prostrate can cause the bladder hard to empty but you are young.  Prostitis is an an infmamation of the prostate that can cause urine issues. i had this for a while in my  30's so had to concentrate to pee.

Gary

[Jandro]

Hello everyone out there. I havn't been on the forum for some time now, approximate two years in fact. At the time of my last post, I was in my senior year at the university and in the early stages of getting officially diagnosed with peyronie's disease. I had had peyronie's disease since I was a child do to an injury I sustained then. I had always struggled with accepting the fact that I needed medical attention and it wasn't until that point in my life that I had the courage to go through with what I needed to do to heal. Now after 2 years and a successful medical procedure performed by Dr. Lue at UCSF, I return with encouraging news that those out there that are suffering with peyronie's disease that there is hope to regain the peace of mind and life that this issue can erode. I am very lucky to have had the love and support of my parents through this emotionally trialing experience. Without their understanding, empathy, and help, I would have had a very difficult time navigating through the many processes of the California medical insurance system that it took to get me into Dr. Leu's office. It took a year from the time of the official diagnosis to finally get the surgery that I needed, but in the end the insurance turned out to be so much more complicated then the nature of the surgical procedure itself. Before seeing Dr. Lue, I had convinced myself, despite the lack of evidence, that I had an extreme case of peyronie's and I predicted the worst case scenario. However, this was not the case. In fact the curvature of my penis was significantly improved with just a few permanent stitches in January of last year. The improvement is amazing. I havn't had much sex since the surgery, but I am so grateful for the peace of mind I get knowing that someday I'll have the ability to have a normal sex life. The peace of mind that came after the surgery has given me space to focus on other aspects of life and really has helped me to see things differently. It's like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I'm writing my story to tell those of you who are suffering from this disease that there is hope for a brighter future. This is especially for anyone out there on the forum who feels like I did; that this disease has beaten down their spirits and is robbing them of their happiness. I really recommend getting the support of others. In my experience, that was the single most powerful factor in taking action to get help. This forum is a great place to start. Hawk, an admin on this forum, was the one who recommended Dr. Lue to me, and for that I am so grateful because he steered me into the care of the most competent physician in the area of peyronies disease.  Although the idea of revealing an intimate detail to someone you're close to can be a scary thought, open up to a family member or friend who you can trust. Their support will help you through and motivate you to continue the process towards recovery. Also, the support of knowledgable physicians can really help in understanding the nature of the problem and put some anxiety to rest. I hope this post is helpful in conveying that peyronies disease isn't something that can you keep you down forever. There were so many times in my life before the surgery that I felt hopeless and thought I was doomed to a bleak future. I really recommend that you pursue medical treatment if this is the case for you. If you're every feeling doubtful and hopeless just know that peyronies cant stop you from the living the happy life that you deserve!!

PS Hawk if you're reading this, the most sincere of thank yous for referring me to Dr. Lue. Your knowledge and advise literally changed my life and I will never be able to thank you enough.

Jandro

[Slender Bender]

When I reached puberty and discovered my penis was curved I was disturbed as I am sure most boys would be. For years it kept me from pursuing girlfriends as we all can understand. However one day I did meet a girl and we had sex and it was great and it apparently was no problem for her. We were fond of the woman on top position as I have an upward curve and that seemed to provide the most stimulation.

Over the years I began to become aware it was slightly more common than I suspected and in many cases it was desirable for your partner. I have not seen a doctor about my condition so I am not sure it it is Peyronie's or congenital. When I was a child I had a surgical procedure to wide my urethra and that could have caused it. As it is I have never had pain from it or noticed a lump.

While my situation might not be the common on I have learned to live with it and have fun with it in most sexual situations.

[Maspik]

Hi i'm a new member here, the forum seems to be quiet.

My Story

I have seen about 5 urologists on about 20 occasions. Not one has ever seen me with an erection. One said I have a curve when flaccid. But basically non are helping me. I claim I have a nodule on the top of my penis shaft tucked under my circumcision line, my penis bends downwards.

Im still a virgin because this curve which I think I have always had started causing me pain about 5 years ago when I masturbate. Incredible pain. My penis aches for up to two weeks after masturbation. In feels like a bow that is going to snap in half.

I honestly can't carry on living like this, I'm young, I'm 28, I am lonely, I can't picture having a wife in this position, I want to end my life because of this. It is one big problem amongst millions of other ones, and bieng in pain like this all the time in such a delicate and special area of my body has prompted me to decide that this life is to cruel, I will have this pain forever if the past 5 years are anything to go by. I've had enough. I dont know what to do.

[emperordune]

Trust me, I've been in your position.  I'm 27 and up until last year, I have lived through a very similar experience as you have.  If you feel comfortable giving us a general idea where you live many of our forum members would happily give you the names of doctors they trust that could help you.  I know how lonely it can get, but there is always hope.

[GS]

Maspik,

I agree; there is help out there and this forum is the best place to find it.  You are not alone; many of us have felt the same way.  I'm sure you will get a lot of replies with valuable information on what to do and where to go.  By all means, get us your location and someone will be able to direct you to the right doctor or clinic.

GS

[Maspik]

Thanks guys

I'll try be positive. I live in johannesburg South Africa. I have seen probably the top urologists in the country, I was told by one in particular that he is not denying I have pain, but that there is nothing that can be done I must just live with it the way a person with migraines lives with them.

The last guy gave me some meds for for prostate irritation, but I know its not that, nothing they give me helps. The 20 minutes I see them and they send me on my way are such a let down every time.

My father is even a specialist doctor and he doesnt seem to care much for what I describe to him.

Am I supposed to take medicines to kill my sex drive for the rest of my life or something? Its normal I should want to use my penis for what it was made for, but when I do the agony!!

I'm out of answers. Maybe this forum will help me.

[GS]

Maspik,

Hang in there and read all the information you can on the website...particularly the ones on "oral medications".  And, talk to your father about some  meds.  Those might be of some immediate relief.

There are a lot of guys on this forum that have a lot more knowledge and experience than I do and I'm sure they can recommend some things to help.

GS

[Maspik]

Thanks GS. Hopefully I can work it out. I can't use anti inflammatory meds which is a problem i think. but I'll wait and see.  

[Iceman]

maspik - try pentox - do it now!!! - it helps me - i was in sooooooo much pain as well - youve gotta get it prescribed - keep trying!!!

[gavman]

Hi Maspik,

Sorry to hear about the pain you are in, I can also relate to how you are feeling, any form of erectile dyfunction can absoutely mess with you mind and emotions. But you are in a good place here and I'm sure you will find some info to help you sort this out.
Just a few questions..
Did the Urologists you have seen give any explanation for the cause of the pain?
How severe is the downwards curve eg 40 degrees down from horizontal?
Has your erection always curved downwards?
Does the pain only start when you become erect?
What is more concerning for you at the moment, the curve itself, or the pain? I mean, if the pain wasn't there would the curve concern you?
You said it feels like it could 'snap', where abouts in your penis feels that way eg on top, underneath, the base, the top, everywhere etc?

Briefly, after a long time doing my research I have found a urologist/andrologist who sounds good, and I will be having a Nesbitt's plication some time within the next 3 months to correct downwards curvature (congenital). I will write a thread about my experience once I have it.

Have you looked at specialists overseas? It may be your best bet. There seem to be some good urologists in London. Don't be put off by bad ones, I've had a handful of arrogant useless doctors and specialists in my lifetime, but just keep searching until you find a good one.

Hang in there mate and keep emailing, reading and asking questions!

[Maspik]

Thanks guys, I will chat to my uro about pentox.

I'd love to see guys overseas but I think the guys here are ok. One of the guys I use did Mandelas op for example. the main issue is moey for me. but I think Mandela would have had enough cash to go to anyone he wanted and he chose here, so I think they're good. Although with money I would go overseas for sure.

My angle is not to severe it is about a 25 degree curve down, it is exacerbated because its sort of like a kink because my glans straighten out again after the curve partially. I'm also circumcised and there is not a lot of skin on my shaft. I think this is why i get pain. Because on the top of my shaft I feel very tender and hard, even numb, thats because of my circsumcision scar, but it never caused me problems till a few years ago. So at the point that my penis bends down the top of my penis hurts and feels like its going to snap.

It hurts particularly after masturbating, which is something I used to do a few times a day sometimes, at least daily with no trouble. Now once in a week will give me pain subsequent to masturbating for up to a week or even two.

If that is from just myself I cant imagine what will happen with a woman who has less control over how she touches me will turn out. I fear that i will really be pain after that. So I have shied away from sex for about 5 years.

It is possible that this was caused in the first place by woman about 5 years ago who really "man handled" me

Anyhow the curve never bothered me, the pain is what bothers me, and the worry that it will get worse.

The pain is awful, like a tooth ache, a throbbing twinging pain that pulsates and throbs. It keeps me awake, it hurts, and it stops me from using my tool which is what really irritates me because I enjoy using it, and I dont know how Im going to find a gf or wife when something pleasurable causes me stress and pain.

[Iceman]

did mandela have peyronies??

[Maspik]

No prostate cancer i think

[Tim468]

Not sure why Iceman asked that, but I do think of the 27 years that Mandela spent in prison.

Twenty-seven years, and not too long after he left prison, he became the leader of the country.

To me, this makes a pretty good argument for hanging in there to see how it turns out. You might be able to solve this problem with better and more consistent help, and then go on to lead the most blessed life. Good luck.

Tim

[Maspik]

Thanks Tim,

That is a brilliant point you make. I will keep that in mind.

[snowydreams]

How does one handle the psychological effect of Peyronie's, especially if is combined with ED, knowing that this is something which can wreak havoc on a man's psyche?  Also, how can a man who has these conditions court a woman for a relationship, especially if he fears failure or rejection?  Has anybody been rejected by a woman because he has these conditions?

[Maspik]

I havent because its caused me to avoid women at all costs to avoid the double pain of rejection.  

[cowboyfood]

How does one handle the psychological effect of Peyronie's, especially if is combined with ED,

Initially after noticing my condition, and for many, many months thereafter, I was very depressed...I felt alone & isolated.  Being, single, I had thoughts that I'd never be able to have a companion.  

First off, I explained my situation to a very close family member.  About the same time, I made some connections with some of this forum's members.  My dialogue between these individuals helped tremendously.  And, I had several phone conversations with one member in particular.

Next, and with a lot of faith, I began treating my condition with the VED, pentox, viagra, and supplements.  Every day.  As things slowly began to improve overall, my mental state improved also.  

IMO, it's really important to my mental health to "do something" treatment wise about the condition.  I credit the above mentioned treatement along with family and board member encouragement in getting me to the place I am today both physically and mentally.

IMO, the VED works, especially for ed symptoms, and throw in some viagra, l-arginine and pentox, makes it even better for these symptoms.  

As the situation either stops progressing, or reverses, your mental attitude can improve also.

And, you should seek professional help also.  Many on the board have and endorse this treatment also.  

CF

[voulezvous]

Also, how can a man who has these conditions court a woman for a relationship, especially if he fears failure or rejection?  Has anybody been rejected by a woman because he has these conditions?
[/quote]

I have never been outright rejected by a woman because of my Peyronies Disease when I initially told them.  However, I can say in all honesty, that it has had an effect twice. There is no doubt that a romantic relationship without intercourse is like sitting in a beautiful car but not being able to go anywhere. Yes, you can substitute other sexual options but they are not the same.

Nonetheless,once you have screwed up your courage enough to tell a woman about your condition you have had a victory. A relationship that ends over a partner's inability to perform ANY function because of a disability is not one worth keeping. Sex helps tremendously to bring a couple together both physically & emotionally but it ultimately will not keep you together. My feeling in both of the cases where I lost a relationship due, in some measure, to my Peyronies Disease is that I DID THE BEST I CAN! Beyond that, do not punish yourself. It is much better to be honest with a person & lose than to be dishonest & keep trying to make excuses - all the while feeling worse about yourself.

What concerns me more than anything about your question is that you are not allowing yourself to think you are worth anything to a woman without having a functioning penis. That is just not true. I mentioned two times when I believe my Peyronies Disease contributed to the end of relationships. Even then there were other issues that contributed. But there have been at least 5 times in my 7 year history with Peyronies Disease when it didn't make any difference in how things worked out. Being honest, courageous & upfront with a woman is by far a bigger "turn on" to them than your inability to have intercourse.

[GS]

Good morning all,

I woke up this morning with a nice erection...it was as curved as ever, but a nice erection just the same.  So, I started my day off on the right foot...did my morning exercise and the rest of my morning routine, including my VED therapy.  It seemed like I got a bigger erection in the VED than normal, but it was probably just my imagination.

Driving to work this morning, I felt very upbeat, which is not the norm for me.  It's very difficult to feel upbeat when you have a curved dick.  I think the reason I was feeling good is that at least I'm doing "something" to potentially help my Peyronie's.

I don't know if the VED is helping me or not, but it's not hurting me and it makes me feel better because I'm doing something rather than just feeling sorry for myself.  This is a tough pill to swallow, but at least it's not life threatening and although there is no known cure, there is always hope for one.

Keep the faith!


GS

[BrooksBro]

I fully agree!  

I have also noticed that VED is an active therapy, where as traction is passive once it is applied.  I cope much better with difficulties when I am actually "doing" something, even if it is only for a few minutes once or twice a day.

I think the reason I was feeling good is that at least I'm doing "something" to potentially help my Peyronie's.

I don't know if the VED is helping me or not, but it's not hurting me and it makes me feel better because I'm doing something rather than just feeling sorry for myself.  

[hb]

Depending upon your curve, most women would love a curved situation. If you curve up and can still penetrate, the Peyronies Disease makes your tip rub against the G-Spot. I can speak from experience in that I have not been rejected at all, in fact, it was quite the opposite.

Now I know that not all guys are curving up and some have the 90 degree angle, which makes it impossible to be penetrate. But I don't think you should be completely negative on this.  

[GS]

All,

Tomorrow I will finish my first 26 week VED protocol.  I have experienced some improvement, but in no way would I consider myself cured.  Does that mean I've failed?  I think not!  There is no cure; at least, not as of now.  The point is, I've "managed" my Peyronies as best I could and I've made a small amount of progress by not having my symptoms get any worse.

Now, I'm going to take a couple of weeks off from the VED and then start a new 26 week program and add the PAV cocktail to my "management" of the disease.

My thought is a "non-cure" is not a failure and I'm going to think in terms of managing the disease until someone, somewhere, finds a cure.  When that happens, we will all be happy.  Until then, we should all "manage" the best we can and never, ever, give up!

[YMENOW]

GS

I think that you hit the nail on the head.  You are maintaining your sexual health the best way you know how.  I think about the therapy everyday and wonder if that is going to be for me the rest of my life. I think taking a break like you plan is a wise move and I hope the best for you in the "next session".  

ymn

[germanirish]

Hi GS, congrats on finishing your 26 weeks.  Good luck on your 2nd round and I envy the fact that you always seem to keep a really positive attitude.  

Germanirish

[newguy]

Yes GS, many congrats. For a great many men the VED really does help with penile health. There are exceptions of course, but I feel that it's one of the most positive and proactive treatments you can engage in for peyronie's. The same is likely true of traction for some men both physically and mentally, but what I do like about the VED is that you're engaged in the therapy for the whole time, checking the pressure, holding and so on. It's a process you're actively involved in from the very beginning to end and I think it helps from a psychological perspective as a result of that. There's nothing worse for a persons mindset than passively sitting by and dwelling on the negatives (It irritates me when I hear people receiving "wait and see" advice.)

[fubar]

Gs:

I have progress too.If you take your eye off the ball.How can you slug him out of the PARK? Stay with the protocol I envy your dillagance and dedication.

Thanks For the information it is promising!

Pump, , pump and away fubar

[mike67]

I'm with you guys. I am just going into week 5 of the 26 week program. I have a great excel spreadsheet that allows you to keep track day by day , week by week & cylinder by cylinder. If anyone is interested I'd be happy to email it to you. Somehow we haven't been able to get it on the forum . The attachment is not recognized .Old Man & Angus are working on it.
Having the 26 week Protocol to do every day keeps me positive because I feel I am helping myself daily and always watching for improvements.

[Old Man]

mike67:

I think you need to modify your last post in this sentence: The attachment is not rrecognized.

Believe you meant to say: The attachment is now recognized.  

Right???

Old Man

[GS]

Guys,

As I sit here reading today's new posts, I vacillate back and forth on what my chances are of recovering/curing my Peyronies Disease.  Some days I feel like there is a good chance the VED and meds will help me and my curved friend...and once in a while I feel like all the time and money is wasted and I'm going to end up with a 120 degree bend and my sex life will be over.  Most of the time I think the VED and meds will at least keep me from getting worse.

I FEEL BEST WHEN I THINK I HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE OF GETTING BETTER.

I'm in my 1st week of my 2nd go round with the VED and I've added the PAV cocktail to my meds.  I had some improvement in size and curvature with the 1st protocol and I'm going to stay with it through another 26 weeks (at least).

GS

[Old Man]

GS:

Yes, you should continue on with the second 26 week protocol sessions. If you have read any of my earlier posts, you will see that it took the greater portion of a whole year to get rid of my symptoms. You just have to be patient and continue with the daily schedule of pumping cycles.

I know that you want to see more positive results than you have seen, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Try to concentrate on other things by thinking positive thoughts, doing different things you are not used to doing. Do things that are especially time consuming that require you to use your mind thinking about other subjects, etc.

We are all in this mess together and we should try our best to help each other, huh? Remember, I have had this mess for over 56 years now and at present I am in an arrested state with no visible symptoms!!! You can achieve this, just keep up the good pumping circuit!

Old Man

[Brightdog]

I am now 23 days post-surgery and trying not to think about the road ahead. No sign of erections - which I WAS having no problem with before the surgery. But then, the surgery was extensive and there were later complications... One thing at a time. Breathing deeply.

I have been shameless about talking about the surgery. I lead a very public life, and the surgery was during a particularly noticeable time of year when ordinarily I make a lot of public appearances. So I am educating people about Peyronies Disease and my journey. Of course, when someone asks me what surgery I had done I say "penile reduction". That gets the ball moving.

[Fubar Penis]

I just wanted to bring up some food for thought for those who don't have peyronie's and read this and those of us that do have this dreadful condition. I confided in several friends recently, several of which are female, and they all said the same thing. "It's not going to kill you. There are always worse things." You can say that about anything. Let's see how this one would fly. I'll walk up to a cancer patient who isn't necessarily terminal, and say, "I know I don't have cancer and I'm not going to have both my nuts removed because of testicular cancer, but keep your chin up, it could always be worse, you could be dead right now." I wonder how that might make him feel to have someone who isn't going to have both his testicles removed from getting cancer tell him it's not the end of the world because at least he's not dead yet. By the way, the female friends I told about it won't even talk to me now, so this "women don't care about a guy's penis is BS. They even care about it when it is a guy friend's penis. Sorry, but I've heard more graphic, detailed, and demeaning locker room talk from women than I have from some men. When I was younger, I was always taught to put women up on a pedestal like they were angels. I have been hurt worse by and heard more hurtful things come out of womens' mouths than I have heard come out of mens' mouths. It's not to say men can't be just as mean and demeaning as women. In a lot of cases, they can be worse; so this isn't some kind of hate rhetoric on women. I am mentioning and focusing on women because I would be in a relationship with a woman and not a man, since I'm heterosexual. I think a lot of our relationship experiences are going to vary based on how each generation is raised.  I do think the generation beyond 40 years of age might have had a different experience with women because women were taught to give marriage and relationships all the chances they could before seeking a divorce; and I feel like they were raised to not be as materialistic and superficial as women of my generation and younger. You see women and men from later generations sticking by their man or woman through troubled times as well as the good times. Women and men now are quick to call it quits when the crap starts hitting the fan, especially when it comes to sex and money. Statistically, sex and money are the two top reasons for divorce. My point is, for us to say women don't care about it and aren't as superficial as men, especially in my generation and younger; well, that would be living in denial. I think we could probably pin a lot of the blame on the abundance of the over importance of great sex with an over emphasis on our penises being plastered across our TV everyday, and the over-abundance and easy access to porn. I'm not saying every woman is like this, but I am saying the women who aren't like it are harder to find in my generation and younger. I think this is why there seems to be more positive responses on the site from older generations and not the younger generation, when it comes to women sticking by their men and being so supportive. I know people might get mad at me for saying some of this, but I think there has been a definite change in views on relationships by generation. Of course, it is never true in all cases, but I think the prevalence of it being true is much higher now than it probably would be in the 50s for example. It is much harder, to just be nice and be a giving young man, and find a supportive loving partner these days. Maybe that is why our divorce rates are the highest they have ever been. I didn't mean to sound cynical, but to not mention these facts would be living in denial of the reality and harshness of the world we live in today, when it comes to intimacy. My wife's treatment of me and the way my female friends want nothing to do with me now is pretty good proof. But most of all, it is very very frustrating to hear someone who has never experienced our condition to downplay it as if it is nothing more than a broken arm or leg(what my friend told me recently.) I could live with a broken arm because the chances of it healing back correctly are pretty f'^+'ing good. There are definitive cures and expected positive outcomes for a broken arm. We only have one dick and the treatment options currently don't come without some scary and indefinite possible outcomes. When you break an arm, you know in a few months, you have a really high percentage of being able to use it again with no or limited problems. When you break your dick and get Peyronie's, you wait around to see just how f'^+'ed up you might become. It's like knowing you are going to die in a year, but not really knowing when. How frustrating and depressing is that? And you definitely don't want someone who has never been through it or has just broken their arm, to tell you "it could be worse, you could be dead right now." Everyone on this site has been incredibly supportive and this site is awesome, and I love it! Everyone has gone through or is going through the same BS we call Peyronie's. However, even within our own group, I think we lose sight (I know I do too sometimes) of the emotional and psychological impact this will have on someone without a supportive partner, someone who is just starting their life in their 20s with this dreadful condition; or someone like myself, only in their 40s and might be facing never being able to have sex again with a wife he has loved for many years. My point in all of this is that we should always try to stay positive and encourage each other in a positive way, but don't diminish someone's suffering by comparing it to some other illness that they could contract that would be worse. There is always something worse. I could lose both of my arms, but how upsetting would it be for me to hear someone with both of their arms come up to me and say, "well, at least you have both of your legs buddy." It is great to offer hope and try to help people see that we, as men, are more than our parts. However, it can add to our pain, when someone says it could always be worse. It just downplays and almost tries to diminish the fact that what we have is very painful and might change our lives and how we view life forever. I like to write poetry for loved ones, friends, etc to try to make them happy and lift their spirits; and I was working on a book before this ugly thing hit. Now, I have no passion for any of those things anymore. Whether we choose to admit it or not, we are not above mother nature. We are driven by our sexual desires. Look at anything in the animal Kingdom and you will see. When the chimp who can't score with the ladies because he is considered inadequate for breeding gets the cold shoulder, he feels like an outcast and goes through anger, depression, etc. I think even we ,as peyronie's sufferers, have to keep in mind that even within our own group one person's suffering with the disease might be completely different from another sufferer. For example, I'm going to use myself, as embarrassing as it is to discuss, as an example. I am unfortunately not blessed with a very large penis. I have around 2.5 inches flaccid and around 5 inches erect pre-peyronie's. Now I have seen pictures and heard stories of how many inches one could lose with this horrible curse put on us. My feelings about size loss and feelings of inadequacy are going to be a little more extreme than someone with an 8 incher going down to 6 inches erect. Do I still feel bad for him? Of course I do. But if I lost 2 inches or 3 inches, I would have a toddler dick. Which person do you think might be more devastated emotionally and psychologically? 6 inches can still please a woman, but a 1 to 2 inch hard penis? Each case is different physically as it is psychologically. I'm just saying it is easier for someone with a 8 inch penis going down to 6 inches with a 15 degree curve to say "stay positive" than a 5 incher going down to 2 inches erect with a 45 degree bend. It is not to downplay the 6 inch guy's suffering, but it is to say the degree of suffering might be a little less extreme in his case over the other case. That is part of my frustration right now too. I only have a 2.5 inch flaccid penis and can't fit into my fastsize stretching device without modifying it to fit. In addition, every time I put it on for even 15 minutes with low tension springs, I end up in pain the next few days and it seems like my curve gets worse. This is probably due to me having to modify to fit into it. Now that just adds another level of frustration to my condition. The one thing that has shown the most promising results I can't even use right now. All I can do is oral medication and maybe the VED. When I  hit the shrinkage stage, I might not be big enough to even use a traction device even if I wanted to try it again, just adding another layer of frustration to the disease. Now, the 6 inch guy will still have an opportunity to strap it in and give it a shot. I feel like my clock is ticking since I am 5 months into acute stage and I'm already having to limit effective options. I am going to try the VED again with Old Man's suggestions(thank you for all your help Old Man, honestly :-)) and I am still taking the recommended oral meds, but it pisses me off that I can't seem to get the traction device to work. I'm trying to stay focused on the positive, but with me not having much to begin with, losing any kind of size is a horrifying thought. I apologize if I offended anyone. That was not my intention. I hope and pray for a cure for everyone of us soon, so we can gain back an important part of our manhood. It is easy for someone who does not have a condition or has a very limited form of the condition to say "stay positive." I know a guy, who curves like a hook with like a 3 inch penis erect in my home town with peyronie's and prostatitis. I encourage him and I am here to support him when he needs it, but I'm not going to tell him, that it could always be worse, he could be dead or have terminal cancer. I think the medical community and society as a whole also has that kind of cavalier attitude toward our disease, and that is why we don't have a cure yet. That and the fact that it isn't a money maker. Peyronie's is downplayed as a "liveable condition" so it just doesn't deserve much focus. How many lives and families has this disease probably destroyed? How many young men feel like the only way out of this living nightmare is through taking their own lives, because of the medical communities' cavalier attitude and lack of concern for our condition? It is time we all start screaming for funding to find a cure for our suffering!!! I wrote a letter to my congressman and I will write him again later to keep it fresh on his mind. I even thought about contacting my local media network or newspaper to do an article on our condition. It needs to be taken seriously!!!!

Someone on our our site just recently said(which is what prompted me to write this)

"Yes, it's not a 'big deal' to those who don't have it!  Then the tune changes."