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Author Topic: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronie's Disease  (Read 232803 times)

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Old Man

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #50 on: July 10, 2006, 09:47:11 PM »

Note to all:

As many of you know and others may not know, I have battled Peyronies Disease for over 50 years now. My first episode (have had 4 or 5 total) occurred at age 24 when sex was foremost on my mind. Dealing with that episode took its toll on my mind as well as the body. Vitamin E was prescribed as the only known treatment for Peyronies Disease in 1954, and I took thousands of the gels it seems like.

Then, with the second episode years later, the first having seemingly gone away on its own, many and varied treatments were prescribed one of which was Potaba. I took over 13,000 of these pills, 6 at a time four times a day which did absolutely nothing for the symptoms. Later, x-ray therapy did nothing and I suffered through that episode and it finally receded to a tolerable state.

Later, more episodes came and went. Finally, prostate cancer required a prostatectomy in 1995. Nerve sparing surgery was not possible due to the enlarged state of the gland. Fortunately, the surgeon was able to get all the cancer, but in doing so, I was left impotent. Recovery from this surgery alone took its heavy toll on my body as well as my mind. However, I had to overcome this and carry on with my life.

I am sure that the rest of my story is contained in the posts on this topic and others spread throughout this forum. I am relating the above again for those new guys who may not have had the time to read up on past history of some of us who have been around for a while.

The above is intended to relate how I have coped with many medical problems in my life. (Have had many surgeries in my life with most of them major.) The main reason that this has been possible is that I have kept my faith in God and relied on His power to heal when I called upon Him in difficult times of surgery and other medical problems. He has come through for me in all that I have asked of Him. So, bottom line here is that one must keep their faith and believe that there is a Higher Power that can and will intervene for them if they only believe and ask. One of my mottos is: Doctors treat, but God heals!

Good luck to any and all who are suffering from this crazy mess called Peyronies Disease. I enjoy being what I call Peyronies Disease free at the moment. Do not look forward to it striking again, but I am ready psychologically ready for it if it occurs. So must each and every one who suffers from its devastating claws! May God bless you all and take care!!!!

Regards to all, Old Man
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Age 92. Peyronies Disease at age 24, Peyronies Disease after
stage four radical prostatectomy in 1995, Heart surgery 2004 with three bypasses/three stents.
Three more stents in 2016. Hiatal hernia surgery 2017 with 1/3 stomach reduction. Many other surgeries too.

englishsyr

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #51 on: July 10, 2006, 11:11:21 PM »

my greatest battle with Peyronies Disease is in my mind and my pride i fight this battle every day and so far i am losing but i have found new strength in been here and just reading what you guys have to say
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Liam

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Sex is in the Brain
« Reply #52 on: July 10, 2006, 11:33:30 PM »

I've heard different versions of this.  For the last year, I have had to test the theory.  It is true.  Keep an "open mind".  Realizing the whole point of sex is pleasure and fun and is not limited to a particular act opens you up to a new and better world of intimacy.
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Lunchbox

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #53 on: July 11, 2006, 07:23:42 AM »

Thanks guys.  I have always been a huge advocate of anti-whinning.  But I have been the biggest candy-ass when it comes to this.  My fiance tells me that she doesnt think it looks abnormal at all.  She claims to have been with a guy who had a congenital curve greater than mine (I am at 45 deg).  I guess my biggest problem is the unknown.  If God came to me and said I would have active Peyronies Disease for the rest of my life and by the time I died my penis was going to look like a used peice of bubble gum then I would be okay with it.  Its the speculating, checking it every 5 minutes to see if it's changed, wondering if I just found a new bump or has it always been there.  Thats what drives me crazy.  Like I said in another post.  My Peyronies Disease is better now than it has been in 3 years.  But as soon as I started researching it in depth, the more concerned I became about re-activation.  Maybe I shouldn't read the posts here anymore..... :D
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Hawk

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Lunchbox
« Reply #54 on: July 11, 2006, 08:59:31 AM »

LB,

A powerful, true statement that has almost been turned into a cliche' is the AA prayer that goes something like:

God grant me the power to change what I can
The strength to accept which I can not change
And the wisdom to know the difference.

The behavior you are describing could be somewhat obsessive/compulsive.  In the context of the wisdom above, what can you do if you find a little  new lump?  What will you do differently?  All you can do is assess the reasonable things that may help.  When you do, you do them as maintenance.  To me that is ALC, some natural anti-inflammatories, A hot soak, and or some gentle VED use. and if you have Erectile Dysfunction issues L-Arginine,  maybe a 1/2 of a trazodone at bedtime.

If you clearly have an active bout you may try adding Pentox.   Your list may be different, but develop that list and and continue to educate yourself and don't dwell on it.  Ahaaaa you say, but there in lies the problem.  If that is true then you must turn you attention from your penis to fixing your thought processes.

Remember that the biggest problem that needs your attention is not your penis.  Your penis works and is all your fiance' wants it to be.  An imperfect penis will not destroy your relationship or your life.  The psychological aspects of this may.  Make a decent attempt to set time aside to do some positive imaging.  Spend time in open communication with your partner.  If you believe in prayer then apply it.  You will soon know if you have the tools to make the necessary progress.  If you find you need a bit of help, then seek that help as fast as you would chase a new breakthrough cure for Peyronies.  Move your energy from obscessing to finding a GOOD psychologist for some counseling.  It is likely to give you much more of your life back than anything in a urologist's bag of tricks.

Good Luck and keep us posted, not on your penis, but on the real issue.
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Angus

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Acceptance
« Reply #55 on: July 11, 2006, 03:29:06 PM »


    Accepting our condition is not easy. Understanding how men are "wired" in this respect is not easy, but can be done.
    I broke a finger playing softball in grade school on my throwing hand; I shrugged it off and didn't say anything to mom nor did I have it looked at and set. To this day, that finger is bent; the last joint points down at about a 30 degree angle. I worried about that finger for a while, then I discovered that even though I hold a pen differently than before, alas, I can still write. I can still throw a ball. I can still function with this hand and even hold a guitar pick and play. I haven't thought about it until a few minutes ago because I discovered long ago that the bent finger wasn't an issue in the big picture because life went on and I could do things with this hand just by changing and adapting the ways to hold things and do things. If I could have applied this quick recognition and acceptance years ago when Peyronies Disease came about I may have been able to skip the years of worry, obsession, fear of rejection and all the associated emotions of Peyronies Disease.
    But we aren't quite wired that way. We all probably know many friends that have broken fingers, toes, arms, legs and so on that have healed with some form of bend or abnormal appearance, yet little if anything is ever mentioned about it because the owner has adapted to it and does not make a mis-shapen appendage an issue. We are wired in such a way that if anything happens to our penis, our symbol of all that is manly, the world stops turning and we will be shunned and ridiculed by some women, because a mans view of himself now with Peyronies Disease represents some horrid Frankenstein or Hunchback of Notre Dame image. This is not the case; we are still whole, we still have the blessings of being able to walk, talk and enjoy life. We are still men in every sense of the word. To my wife, I have two slightly bent appendages now, but they are both seen essentially as non-issues. The need to obsess about either one of them does not exist. This was not the case with me years ago, but with her support these things slowly came to me.
   We are still men; we are whole; we will continue on. Our broken, bent fingers won't stop us from doing things, and neither should Peyronies Disease.
   
   
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englishsyr

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #56 on: July 11, 2006, 08:18:33 PM »

there is no improvement in my bodyand no light at the end of the tunnel, i tell myself that it can only get better but the deep dark parts of my mind laughs and tells me I'm kidding myself we all fight the darkside..(damn star wars) but my own fight is still losing i hope one day i will win this battle that goes on in my head and over come what has happend to me
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SteveW

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #57 on: July 11, 2006, 11:45:02 PM »

englishsyr,
Believe me when I say...there can be a lot of things worse than having a crooked dick.  This condition has been the central, overwhelming focus of my life and existence for a year.  Guess what?  I found out quite recently in fact, that I am and have been blessed.  I was and I am loved and that the size/shape/function/appearance of my penis is really, really the least of the challenges, problems and emotional crisis that a man can face.

I am the one who made this paamount in my life.  I did it.  No one else.  Right now, I am trying to heal and repair myself on many, many other levels.  My dick now seems to be a little lower on the list of what is really vital and important. 

Perspective and self awareness, are incredible and empowering. 

If we make up our mind to forge ahead...in love.
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20 years of Peyronie's / Erectile Dysfunction
Tried pills, VED, Verapamil injections, traction, Trimix & more.
Implanted 2/18/21. AMS cx 18cm + 3 RTE. Gay, 67.
Dr Etai Goldenberg, St Lous, MO
Now having lots and lots of wonderful sex!

Liam

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Perspective
« Reply #58 on: July 11, 2006, 11:57:31 PM »

Well said, Steve! 
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Tim468

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #59 on: July 12, 2006, 09:27:18 AM »

Dear English:

You are not your dick. You are much more than that. Persevering in the face of a distracting illness like Peyronies Disease is tough, but it is not impossible. Sexuality has been (FAR too much) the most important part of my life in many ways. This challenges me at my core and that is as frightening as it gets. So for me this journey is about finding wholeness in myself as a man, and not merely determining my value by the shape of my penis. or even by the ability to have intercourse.

If you want to believe that all that is valuable to you is determined by your penis, you are shortchanging yourself. Our worth is determined by what we choose - completely. Even our sexuality is - I am eternally grateful for having had the opportunity to learn that my mouth and toys could complement my penis in the bed - and I can still use those quite well! I am glad that I have a career that helps me find value in my day to day existence and productivity. I am blessed that I am learning - even now! - to reach out to others for help and support when I feel so alone.

That is the way to get through this - by ending your isolation in your marriage and your life and by talking to your wife and to others about what is happening. That is how to get through this - so why not try it?

Hang in there...  Tim
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Gunner

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #60 on: July 13, 2006, 09:32:47 AM »

I’m 26, I have Peyronies disease, and need some advice.

I’ve had it since around November 2005 - I have the pain and the curve, which is actually quite severe as my penis looks deformed to be honest.

Ever since I noticed it I got concerned naturally, and looked on the net for what I could find. I was relieved to see that it’s not cancer related, which was a small plus - but for someone in their early 20's etc. Anyway, I then found it out was Peyronies - I have the pain, the bend and the hard bit in the shaft of my penis which is called a ‘plaque’ from what I read. It bends to the right.

I have been using 1 400ie Vitamin E per day for around 6 month now. I still have pain when erect.

The thing is, I also have MPB hair loss and use various hair related medications such as Minoxidil, Finasteride etc, so basically my 20’s have been dominated by problems. Naturally I have no girlfriend and progress in life has really stopped for me. I spent he best part of my early 20’s dealing with mpb hair loss and worrying about losing it - as well know your twenties is supped to be an enjoyable time and a time where you find yourself in life and plan a family.

Well, at 25 years old, last year - I noticed a pain in my penis and the bend. The bend has got worse, and I’m just waiting for the year mark right now. I use Vitamin E but I’m reluctant to touch other drugs for Peyronies as I hear most of them have side effects that give you hair loss - which is the main reason my life has gone down this difficult path, so I don’t really want to go there if possible.

I see so many refer to the wait and see approach - that’s my plan. Is this a good thing? Maybe not. I haven’t been to a doctor, because for one - I’m binding my time. I’m not an expert with dealing with embarrassing situations, although being a guy in his early 20‘s with hair loss, I’ve got used to it to an extent.

I plan to see the doctor at the year mark, because this can't continue otherwise I will get no where.

I won’t be very comfortable talking about it. I see many people my age making progress in life and having a good time, where I spend a lot of my time up in my room. This is not good at 26.

As most of you can really relate, peyronies has made me depressed - especially being a guy in his early 20’s. I’ve never had a girlfriend, mainly due to the depressing (MPB) male pattern baldness has brought, and with peyronies disease, this had made things worse. They say you can’t make another person happy if you’re not happy yourself, and this applies to me. At this time, I see myself as a proverbial mile away from dating a woman or making real progress in life, right now.

All I want is solution to my peyronies, so I can at least find some motivation to sort out my other problems.

What would your advice be? I do have time to enjoy some of my 20’s at least, so it’s not over yet. I will be 27 in January though, so times ticking by quick.

I haven’t been myself or felt any enjoyment since I was around 21 -around 2001. This is where it stopped for me, with the progression of Male pattern baldness etc, and then last November - Peyronies disease - both in which have no cure for them.

When I do see the doctor, I will have to take polaroid of my bent penis for him to see. This is going to be excruciating for me, but I realise I need to be strong when talking to him, whilst trying to express myself at the same time.

On a side note, I have a funny feeling the reason I have peyronies is because of Finasteride/Dutasteride I have taken which are medications for hair loss. I have never smoked or drink and I'm quite healthy. All in all, I am naturally young looking and feel I would never have got peyronies if I wasn’t taking these hair drugs, but I can’t stop taking them, as this is the main reason why I am depressed in the first place - hair loss.

I just have these 2 problems that are preventing me from making any progress in life, and more importantly, they have taken away my happiness.

I’d appreciate any advise as this is quite difficult to deal with mentally. Especially as I don’t want to come across as a depressed person all the time, because we know this  major turn off. I mean - who wants to be friends with someone who’s depressed.

Thanks for reading, any advice would be appreciated.
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Tim468

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #61 on: July 13, 2006, 10:00:21 AM »

Dear Gunner:

I have thought about your post for a while. You have asked for advice, and I am going to give it. It may not be what you wanted or expected to hear, though, but please remember that it is given with compassion for your fears and hopes in this world.

Let me tackle this... um, see my advice below to English.. Jus as he is not his dick, you are not your hair. If you believe that your baldness determines your lovability, then you are simply incorrect. That is faulty and distorted thinking. There is certainly enough evidence in the world around you to demonstrate that balding men are lovable and loved.

I reread your post and saw 8 separate references to hair loss. Most are accompanied by clear-cut erroneous thinking. But how dare he call my thinking "erroneous" you may exclaim! Well - it is. If the truth behind a thought can be demonstrated to be one way or the other, then the mood that accompaies it may change.

Here are some examples:

"I also have MPB hair loss and use various hair related medications such as Minoxidil, Finasteride etc, so basically my 20’s have been dominated by problems."

Error: Hair loss equals a problem. It is felt to be a problem by YOU, but for many it is nothing more than simply how they look - and many look pretty damn good bald too.

"Naturally I have no girlfriend..."

Error: No woman would love a bald man - simply untrue.

"I hear most of them have side effects that give you hair loss - which is the main reason my life has gone down this difficult path"

Error: Most people who are bald are happy and satisfied in their life, so it is not "natural" that you feel this way.

"...being a guy in his early 20‘s with hair loss, I’ve got used to it (embarrassing situations) ..."

Error: YOU feel embarrassed. Most bald men are not embarrassed about it, and so are not "used to it".

"All in all, I am naturally young looking and feel I would never have got peyronies if I wasn’t taking these hair drugs, but I can’t stop taking them, as this is the main reason why I am depressed in the first place - hair loss."

Critical Error! Hair loss is not why you are depressed. Simply put - you just are depressed, and as part of that process of depression, you have distorted thinking about baldness. You have given baldness a power over you that it does not possess of it's own accord - it is nothing more than a pattern of how your hair grows. Your hair has not inherent qualities of goodness or badness at all - it is just hair.

Rather, it is you that has a problem and the problem is depression, not baldness. Based on the enormous number of seriously distorted impressions of how baldness controls you in just this one post; based on the sheer number of VERY negative self statements you make, it seems like an extremely serious problem, and one that goes far deeper than a hair follicle.

I do not know if hair enhancement products are a trigger for Peyronies Disease. I know of no reported evidence that this is true. But if I thought it were true, I would not hesitate to stop taking them if I thought it would fix my Peyronies Disease. But if I were you, I would start by seeking help from a GOOD therapist for depression, and I would strongly consider the use of an SSRI anti-depressant (either prozac or celexa or bupropion - less potential side effects for the penis). I would tackle why you are isolated emotionally and socially over a trifle like the hairs on your head, and then see where you are. Of course, during all that time, there is no reason not to go to work on your Peyronies Disease, using the tools that you can acquire here.

Tim

Attached are some images of men to make my point:

Good looking bald man:
http://www.focusonstyle.com/stylething/images/BaldGuyzAA025244sw.gif

Bald man with good-looking woman:
http://www.baldrus.com/images/tenney_amy.jpg

Balding man who is not a "loser":
http://www.speedtv.com/_assets/library/img/large/39351_michael.jordan.hs3.web.jpg

I could go on, but I shall stop right there.

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52, Peyronies Disease for 30 years, upward curve and some new lesions.

Lunchbox

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #62 on: July 13, 2006, 10:03:14 AM »

I know how you feel.  When I was 20 I went through an episode of Alopecia Areata (sp?).  Basically my hair feel out is big clumps for no apparent reason.  The doctors couldnt do anything and didnt really care.  And in hind sight they shouldn't have cared, it's just hair.  I'm not trying to belittle your situation but hear me out.  My hair eventaully grew back, but it took about 3 years.  At first I was depressed and would wear a hat all the time.  I eventually shaved my head and started working out.  Those were probably the best 3 years of my life.  I had a shiny head and but on about 30 pounds of pure muscle.  I have met so many women who love a built bald guy.  As for the hair, my suggestion is to stop worrying about growing it back.  Shave it bald and start lifting.  Join a gym and try to get a gym partner that is huge and start working out with him.  Pretty soon you will start wondering why you didnt always shave your head.  Show off your baldness.  Women dont care about looks so much as they do confidence.  Ever wonder why there are so many fat ugly guys with fine women, confidence.  This will also get your mind off of your Peyronies Disease and give you some goals to focus on.  By the time you start noticing alot of changes in your build will be about the time your Peyronies Disease is stabilizing.  And remember, your deformed dick is only a big deal if you make it one, just like your hair.
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Liam

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #63 on: July 13, 2006, 01:20:15 PM »

At 18 my MPB started.  Today, bald is in.  Go for the shaved look.  Embrace the baldness.  Be the baldness.  Grow a Van Dyke (mustache and goatie).  It is a very manly look and chicks dig it  :::sounding like Sammy Davis Jr.::::  Make sure to get a good tan including your head.  Go to the gym.  Reinvent yourself.

I did this.  It helped me sooooo much.

So true about the confidence, LB.  Our stories sound so similar.  At 36, I had high school girls flirting with me (until I told them my age).  I was big, bald, and confident.

God made a few perfect heads.  The rest he put hair on. ;)  Old line, I know.

Good Luck,
Liam
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Angus

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Hair??? Moving on....
« Reply #64 on: July 13, 2006, 02:47:51 PM »


   
         Gunner.

         Tim, Lunchbox and Liam are right on the mark, so I will eschew obfuscation and not re-state those thoughts here.
         
         I left my hair in the drain of the shower at the university I attended. Dad was bald, brothers are bald, grampas were bald.

         Spent fortunes on hairpieces.

         Shave it completely. Use the Gillette Fusion 5 blade razor or other good multi-blade.

         Read and re-read Liam, Lunchbox and Tims posts. They know of what they speak.

         I still get asked for ID sometimes, and a high school age checkout girl at a grocery store once said "Cool... you look like one of those NBA basketball player guys..."

         Let the healing begin. You're going to be fine, friend.

         

         
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Caring

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #65 on: July 13, 2006, 03:17:35 PM »

10 Reasons to love a bald man

1.   They take less time occupying the bathroom
2.    They are easier to find in a crowd
3.   They don’t leave hair all over the sink
4.   Their hair-do isn’t better than mine
5.   He will never have a middle age crisis and get a Mohawk
6.   I never have to wonder if its real or fake
7.   Can’t get my rings tangled up
8.   It is easier to give him a scalp massage
9.   Never has a bad hair day
10.    I get all the shelves in the shower
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Liam

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Bad hair day
« Reply #66 on: July 13, 2006, 11:34:06 PM »

Caring,

Somebody gave my wife and me caps.  Hers says, "Bad Hair Day".  Mine says, "No Hair Day".

I always tell my wife she leaves more hair in the drain than I ever had on my head
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Caring

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #67 on: July 14, 2006, 12:20:49 AM »

Liam,
Save that drain hair, someone may need it. Like  everything else that goes in a garage sale.

Love the hats.
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zigwyth

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Hair or not?
« Reply #68 on: July 14, 2006, 02:07:24 PM »

Have to throw my 2 cents in. When I was 29, and knowing I would become Bald I was devastated. I cashed in some 401 K and within a 5 year period, spent about $18,000 on a Hair Transplant job. I,m 47 now, and yes the hair doesn't look bad at all, but had I to do it all over again, with compounding interest on a decent investment(12%) plus the Penalty taxes I had to pay on the 401 K default, I'd probably  have in the neighborhood of 125-135 K extra retirement right now. And yes, I'd be bald, but the funny thing is,my last wife and girlfriend after that, asked me to shave my head.They said it was sexy on other men. Listen to what these guys have to say. I am off to the Gym. Just had my first date in 2 1/2 yrs because I finally refused to let this Peyronies Disease crap control my life. For the first time, I wanted to get to know the lady as a person and human being 1st, without the pressures of letting the little head rule. Zig The Twig out Thanks Guys
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Gunner

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #69 on: July 14, 2006, 06:25:50 PM »

Guys, thanks for the replies.

I’d prefer not to talk about the hair situation as there are other forums to discuss that and guys, I‘ve worn that subject out for the last 5 years. I know a lot of it is psychological, but a lot of it does matter, especially to a guy in his 20’s.

I’m not imagining the negativity I see on a daily basis that mocks hair loss.  A young girl isn’t going to go for the guy with hair loss.

I’m not Vin Diesel and I’m naturally skinny - gym or no gym.

A concern for my right now is Peyronies. I’m 26 and my Penis bends to the right and its painful in both ways. A psychological obstacle.

How should I approach this? being 26 years old. I’ve had it for around 8 months now. I take Vitamin E.

I see some sites recommending the wait and see approach with others not preferring this route.

Sometime in the future I’d like to maybe start a family, but I’m a mile away from this at the moment. For example, a young 24 year old female. Paris Hilton - she kind of represents the youth of today. If she saw my penis, she’d probably squeal and it will be a humiliating situation.

I wouldn’t expect any less to be honest.

Just what would you say to woman who isn’t old enough (anyone under 29 basically) to understand this? A 24 year old girl isn’t going to sit there and take in my story on Peyronies disease.

I know this is probably false hope, but what are the chances that is resolves itself? If you can give me an honest answer, I’d appreciate it.

What other options does a person have? What way would a guy in his mid 20’s go in a situation like this?

Sometimes my confidence goes to pot - especially with routine telephone conversations, and I've been unemployed for around 6 months now.

Anyone else in my situation with regards to the peyronies?

Thanks again
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ComeBacKid

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Re: Gunner
« Reply #70 on: July 14, 2006, 07:07:29 PM »

Gunner,

I can totally relate to you and your situation as I'm 22, I understand your paris hilton analogy.  In fact, I thought just like that for awhile, to my surprise, there are nice girls out there who simply don't care about peyronies, or will show you compassion about it.  Dont' get me wrong, your not going to find these girls at frat parties, clubs, or bars, I'll be straight up honest with you.  In fact if your doing the one night stand ordeal and you pull out a bent penis, you may get some crazy reactions from girls.  However, I don't want to put a sweeping generalization on clubs, bars, and frat parties!  I know how you feel cause I've felt the same way, seemingly hopeless in finding an attractive, smart, and compassionate mate.  You need to redirect your energy on what qualities you have other than your penis.  Suprisingly a lot of girls will like you for more than just your penis. I know you may think I'm bullshitting you, but I"m not, the women are out there, its not always easy to find them.

As far as treatments, Ill just tell you what I take and what I believe to be effective, I do take vitamin E, however its not really proven to do much at all.  Acetyl L Carnitine is good to take away the pain and possibly reduce the bend, I take this twice daily after meals, 1000 mg each dosage.  I also take 1000mg of L Arginine , two and three times daily, randomly.  Besides this I use IONOtophoresis treatments which drive liquid verapamil into the plaque to try to dissolve it, and I also use the VED to try and straighten my bend and regain lost size by slowly stretching the plaque over time, following Augusta Medical Systems routine, with guidance from Old Man, a member on our forum.  If you have any questions about my routine feel free to PM anytime.

ComeBackid
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Blink

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Re: Gunner
« Reply #71 on: July 14, 2006, 07:47:12 PM »

Gunner, There could be things much more serious wrong with you than peyronies. Be thankful for that. I know that there is a lot of thoughts racing through your head. Being unemployed doesn't help, it gives you more time to obsess about your condition. Just as ComeBackid stated; if you are looking for a one night stand, forget it. When you meet a nice girl, who likes you for you, she really won't be too concerned about your penis. If that is all a girl has on her mind, I'd say that she is pretty shallow. Think about all of the other ways that you could please your honey sexually. If you talk to women they will tell you that the penis is only a small part of sexual gratification for them. Women don't react the same as men do when it comes to orgasim. We poke it in and stir it around and then bam! All done. It takes a woman a lot longer to get off. Use your imagination, and you will have the happiest honey around! I still take vitamin E, but not as much as I did at first. I'm going to do old man's prescribed method with a VED. I'm waiting for mine to come in the mail. I will take some other supplements along with the VED usage. I will let you know what I'm taking next week. I was using so many differant things, that I lost track in what I was doing. I'm going to start over. I think that heat will help. Even if it doesn't, it sure feels good soaking in a hot tub. If you add some epsom salts, it helps to relax you. Epsom salts is cheap, and can be bought at any drug store. I've also noticed that people use antioxidants. There are a lot of them out there. I haven't chosen the ones I'm gonna use yet. They will be good because they cleanse the body of unnecessary stuff left over after your body processes food and the such. Even if that doesn't work, It'll make me feel better physically. The most important thing of all is, to stay out of your head! Go back through the threads and research treatments that others have used. Go to websites and read about the disease. Keep yourself busy. You could be really worse off than you are. The world isn't over because your dick is crooked. You just have to adapt until the disease settles down, or they find a cure. And just remember this; if you want a family, and you can't do it with your penis, you can always use insemination. Use your own sperm and make babies! Relax, join the club, and get ready for an adventure. Keep the faith!   Blink
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dcaptain

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #72 on: July 14, 2006, 07:53:27 PM »

Gunner,

I know what you are going through.  As this Web site has proven, you are not alone.  There are guys of all ages on this forum, and while I'm not in my mid-twenties, I'm only 31 and found out I had Peyronies Disease last year shortly after my 30th birthday.  I was single, and I thought my relationship-life was essentially over. Here's what I can say from my experience:.

Your relationship-life is no where near over.  Not at all.  Everything is how you look at it.  And that's no pun intended here!  I spent 6 months of my life following my diagnosis of Peyronies Disease FREAKING OUT, having panic attacks, spending tons of time generally depressed, not going out, not seeing friends, scaring the crap out of my parents (I wouldn't tell them what was wrong), and basically being a lunatic nutjob, spending all available time researching Peyronies Disease and what I could do about it.  I was basically at rock bottom.  I thought I'd never meet anyone, never have kids, never have sex again in my life.  But then I did something that helped - I started doing something about it.  I joined this forum, started taking crazy supplements (which, for me, didn't help), and went to see an expert urologist. This didn't cure anything - I still have it, but it helped because it made me feel like I was at least doing something about it.  If it didn't give me hope for a cure, it gave me hope that I could feel better about the whole thing, that maybe what I was doing was stopping any progression of the disease, and that I had a resource to whatever was "next" in treatment of Peyronies Disease.

The other thing I have to say is that girls don't stare at penises all day long.  I know that's hard to believe being a Peyronies Disease person such as yourself (and don't tell me you haven't looked at it more now than you ever have in your entire life), it's true!  Any flaw you have is going to be magnified to you, but to a girl believe me that they won't notice it NEARLY AS MUCH as you do. 

As for meeting girls, it's what these guys say - it's all confidence.  A lot of that will come with time as you get used to having Peyronies Disease, to it just being another part of your life.  If you can still have an erection, sex is still probably a possibility.  And girls aren't as vapid as some of them may seem - there are a lot of nice, normal, caring women out there who are not only going to accept you for who you are, they aren't going to care nearly as much as you do.  It's true.  Women are probably more worried about their own bodies than yours.  Remember, they get bombarded with imagery constantly that makes them try to measure up to some impossible Hollywood standard.  (Imagine if we had the same for penises.  A penis on the cover of every People magazine - ooh, look how straight it is!  Never.)

Anyways, hang in there - you will get through this and I can say from experience that the mental side of this gets a lot better as you get a chance to absorb it all.  The great thing too is that you have a whole cadre of guys on this board who are here to help.

Best,
dcaptain
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RoyRogers

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #73 on: July 15, 2006, 09:32:40 PM »

I'm a 21 year old male who believes he has peyronie's (I say believes cause I've never been diagnosed by a Urologist).

When lying down, the little guy used to point towards the ceiling when erect, now he points at my head... Tilting it far forwards causes pain. My erection still becomes rock hard, but is incredibly inflexible, pushing it down when standing up becomes painful.

I have the hourglass shape when flaccid, particularly after bouts of hard exercise... Its not always prevalent, but it can definitley be seen at times.

I think this disorder came from when I was younger and was depressed and would jerk it endlessly thinking I would never have sex. 21 years old and still a virgin.

On the real, I go to a VERY superficial college, probably one of the most stereotypical in North America.  I don't want to not be able to perform in the moment because my penis causes me or her pain... Especially because It will be all over campus 2 hours later and I will hear about it for the rest of my life.

I wish these women weren't attracted to me, because the fact that I want them but can't have them because of this mental block is making me so depressed its unbelievable.

And you know what? It's easy to say "you need to find a nice girl who will wait and talk about it with you" blah blah blah, but it's just not realistic. I'm an amateur fighter so I'm in great shape, and apparently I am good-looking, so women throw themselves at me... When I don't try to bang them right away, or I try to tell them I've never had sex before, they think I'm full of crap and don't want any part of me... When I was a kid I always wanted girls to like me, and now that they do, and I can't take advantage of it is the worst. It's actually killing me inside.

Comments? Suggestions? Anything?

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Liam

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Happy Trails
« Reply #74 on: July 15, 2006, 09:55:22 PM »

"Pointing to your head" sounds normal to me.  Bite the bullet and pull the trigger.  (I had to do it.)  Catch one of these girls that throw themselves at you.  I think anyone who pushes down would experience pain.  But, see a urologist to be sure.

You and Howcanthisbe should correspond (similar age and situation).

Rico is a professional fighter, I believe.

You are in good company
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Liam

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Peyronies Disease without Plaque?
« Reply #75 on: July 15, 2006, 11:26:41 PM »

To the best of my knowledge, the plaque (nodule ,knot, etc.) is the defining symptom for Peyronies Disease.  Hourglass shape, hinging, bending and Erectile Dysfunction are secondary symptoms.  No plaque;  No Peyronies Disease.
In previous discussions, I don't think we've acknowledged this.

If this is wrong, let me know,

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Liam

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Peyronies Disease Must have Plaque
« Reply #76 on: July 16, 2006, 12:48:51 AM »

Definitions of peyronie's disease on the Web:

A plaque, or hard lump, that forms on the erection tissue of the penis. The plaque often begins as an inflammation that may develop into a fibrous tissue.
http://medicalcenter.osu.edu/patientcare/healthinformation/glossary/p.cfm

A deposit of scar tissue or plaque in the erectile tissue in the penis, sometimes causing painful and curved erections.
www.malehealth.com/HTML/B9_print.html

Curvature of the penis, usually during erection, caused by plaque (hardened or calcified tissues).
www.erection-disfunction.biz/glossary.html

Peyronie's disease is a rare connective tissue disorder involving the growth of fibrous plaques in the soft tissue of the penis affecting as much as 1% of men. The exact cause is not known, although it is thought to be caused by injury to the internal cavity of the penis, which results in bleeding and later scar tissue formation at the tunica albuginea of the corpora cavernosa. It may cause pain, cord-like lesions, or abnormal curvature of the penis when erect. ...
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie's_disease

Source:  http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-42,GGLG:en&oi=definer&q=define:peyronie%27s+disease&defl=en
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Tim468

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #77 on: July 16, 2006, 07:55:53 AM »

I would argue that a *change* in the shape of the penis ina fully grown man is relatd to Peyronies Disease pathology until proven otherwise. Secondly, the finding of a "placque" is not so easy. Many men have reported here that doctors have palpated their penis only to pronounce it "fine" when the patient still had a bent penis!

The curving upwards sounds to me like it *may* be related to the development of fibrotic changes ("placque" if you must...) on the dorsum of the penis, right near the base. That might account for a bit of an effect of limiting downward mobility - it sure sounds like his penis is newly tethered at the dorsal base. The new-found pain is also quite concerning to him, I am sure. The hourglass deformity that "fills out" with a full erection is also described by others here. I, for instance, have a dent on the left side that causes an about 20 degree deviation - until I am fully erect upon which it disappears. Thi is new within the last three months and came after a sudden bend during intercourse.

All in all, I do believe that his symptoms are strongly suggestive of early Peyronies Disease, and he is smart to start looking for support and help now.

RoyRogers (if that really *is* your name...)(insert some joke about "Trigger" here), you are in the right place. Here you will find out that you can do something about this. And although it is easy for me to say "find a quality woman" now, from my perspective, when I was twenty, ANY woman seemed magical enough to warrant having sex with - if she was willing, I became willing.

This - so far - does not change the equation too much for you. You may find that anti-inflammatory drugs like advil can help reduce the pain, and may even block some of the changes of Peyronies Disease (my speculation based on personal experience) - and that may make intercourse bearable (if it hurts now). Pointing up is not a bad thing, unless she wants it to be pointing South during sex. As you describe it, I would be willing to bet that a woman would not think it was "abnormal" if she saw it hard.

Finally, if the women around you are shallow, then look for other women. Go to bookstores, join a White water rafting club or hiking club, volunteer at a homeless shelter, join the board of trustees for a local art society... I dunno.. think about what YOU want in your life when it comes to a woman and go where women like that are. Than I bet things will fall into place.

FWIW, I do not know of any men who met the woman of their dreams at a frat party, dance club, or bar. But in a campus/college organization? You bet. How about a health and fitness group at the campus?

Tim
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Old Man

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #78 on: July 16, 2006, 09:36:32 AM »

Tim:

Right on! Very good advice.

BTW, I personally know a guy whose name is really Roy Rogers. Also, we have a Billy Graham and a Gene Autrey in our local church.

Regards, Old Man
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Three more stents in 2016. Hiatal hernia surgery 2017 with 1/3 stomach reduction. Many other surgeries too.

Liam

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Roy
« Reply #79 on: July 16, 2006, 11:08:44 AM »

If thats your real name, I apologize for the cracks with the name.  I always loved the famous one.

Basically what you are saying, Tim, is that the fibrotic change is there.  It is just hard to find.

I remember when I was at my sexual peek.  An erection was straight up, standing or lying.  Sex was not a problem.  After sex, trying to urinate in the toilet, was an adventure.  Pushing down to aim at the toilet hurt.  ;)  I think everyone (at least the guys, sorry ladies) can relate.

Roy,  I hope you are encouraged to seek help from a doctor.  Just don't jump to conclusions.  Where it is possible you have Peyronie's, it is not a given by any means.  See a doctor, first.  If, then, you have it, the world has not ended.  If you have an erection and only a minor curve, you can still have sex.

There is a webpage called "The Penis Website".  I am not linking to it because it is borderline porn (at least the ads).  It does have pictures of normal erections.  Many point straight up. Many curve like a banana.  Some have dings and bumps and ridges.  Normal is a range of size, shape and curve.  The site also mentions they get emails from guys thinking their penis is too hard.

I only recommend this page because us guys don't have a large frame of reference about what is normal.  (Neither do college females for that matter.)  This is a discreet way to assess what is normal or not.

Where it is good to investigate possibilities.  Without a diagnosis, don't get worked up.
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naplesperonies

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #80 on: July 18, 2006, 02:16:15 PM »

my own experience is that the psychological component of the disease was the crippler - it had a very profound impact on my psychology for a couple of years.  i had no idea how to deal with it psychologically.  I had a lot of prejudices about what the impact would be on me in the future and how others might take it - most of which proved dead wrong.  The experience has actually proved a gift to me as it allowed me to move onto a different orientation with sexual relations.  Actually i'm sure i've become a better 'lover' becuase of it, as that role of swashbuckling pirate and sport f'^+'ing gymnastics, is no longer an option.  It forced me to think about the other, and building the erotic nature of the interactions, etc.   

my last girlfriend of several years didn't mind, in fact her response after my informing me of the issue was "if we never have intercouse it is ok with me."   Now this is a gal that i've experienced the very best loving making wtih.  That is not to say that it would be acceptable to others.   she actually loved that it bent up, as her lying on her back with her head tilted back over the bed allowed the ol' elbow joint to slip right down her throat.  She could suck a golf ball through 20 feet of garden hose.

And you've got a tongue, and fingers so use them. caress, hold, bit the back of their neck.   If you still think that the ol in-out, in-out is all there is to sex then peyronies or not, your never gonna really satisfy your partner.

Resolve not to F^@% on the first date or second, once there is a relationship, then when making out or lying on the couch watching TV or whatever, have a discussion that goes like this"

    "i want to talk about something with you.  And i don't want you to take this wrong or think that i'm implying anything by it, but it may come up later if we continue seeing each other.  And it's really akward for me to talk about, but for the last decade and half i've been dealing with a condition that causes scar tissue to developed on the interior of my penis and affects my erections and quality of love making to some extent.  it's fairly uncommon, though Clinton was accused by Lewinsky of having the condition.  It's kinda analagous to one of those long balloons and before inflating it you put some tape on it at certain points.  then when you try to blow it up it doesn't streatch at the points where the tape is and causes it to bend or change shape.  It bends up and to the left and doesn't have as much turger pressure where the bends are.  After so many years the scar tissue has affected almost the entire length of the penis.  it's kinda my own crookeder-than-a-politician.  It used to hurt badly when it first developed, and today it limits some positions and the vigourness of intercouse - so if we go further, there's never gonna be any "sport' f'^+'ing.  It's never really been an issue to other partners, though i've had a difficult time dealing with it personally and the change at times, especially early on.  It's nothing that you can catch . . . . you won't develop a bent hoo-hoo.  They are not sure why some men get it, and they continue to work on cures but nothing yet.  I just wanted you to know what's up should our relationship go further.  Okay?  Do you have any questions about it?  Is there any awkward issue that you want to discuss with me and that i should know about?"

I've had to have the discussion many times. . . . i'm always surprised by the non-issue that it is.

What is really left is for me to "accept" what it is, the change, the limitations.  My biggest problem about it continues to be how i think about it.  This doesn't mean that you don't keep your eye out for developments in treatments, but you get out of being emotional tied to the results to said treatments or the status of the Peyronies. 

I cannot more highly recommend The Sedona Method to help work through your resistance to it.   You can generally pick you the book in the library and scan though it.   It is basically a series of 4 questions that you ask of yourself and then answer yes or no to. - helps to get unstuck.  You've got to surrender the self-pity, and trying to control others reactions.   There is nothing you can do to effect others reactions . . . either it is going to be ok or not.  . . if not, so what.   If you don't have resistance to the condition, then there are no problems with it.

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Liam

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Good points
« Reply #81 on: July 18, 2006, 02:34:47 PM »

Some good points, Naples. Thanks for contributing. 

I changed my profile picture in your honor.  I think we have this, as well as Peyronies Disease in common :).

Liam
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zigwyth

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A new Life
« Reply #82 on: July 24, 2006, 12:25:15 PM »

Gentleman, I apologize for being away, but have been trying to deal with this psychological component of this cursed "condition" Have been throwing almost everything at it.Supplements, TV, VED, infrared lamp therapy, etc. I finally came to the realization that life must go on. I would like to share some Very good news. Even at 47 yrs of age, I have finally realized that a woman can be pleased and pleasured in so many ways. I sought to read and gain as much knowledge as possible in this area as well as the romance of a new relationship. Alot of men continue to believe that the only way to please a woman is through the penile penetration into her vagina. I am here today to convey that NOTHING could be further from the truth. After yet another divorce, stints in the Emergency room ,a Hernia surgery gone wrong, as well as the emotional distress that this has caused, I have finally gone through the process of healing emotionally,spiritually and physically. I prayed for strength and the wisdom to carry this through and I know it will be a struggle, but I have met the most wonderful woman I only thought was possible in a dream. It's very interesting on how we found each other through the internet. We actually went to school together in High school 30 yrs ago. It seems like I've known her all my life and even possibly in another time if that's possible. From the very first moment I saw her I knew she was the one that I've waited for all my life. We are connecting on such a Deep emotional level that I feel only a small percentage of couples can be blessed with.I wonder who I would be had I not gotten this "condition".It has allowed and forced me to explore a part of me I never knew existed.I now know that if men could just somehow find a way to the realization that there is much more to romance and intimacy with a woman than penile penetration, there woould be alot less divorce and more happiness in this world of ours. I got up the courage to share this with her and was slightly shocked and at the same time relieved to know that she understood with compassion and that she would support me in this endeaver and be there in anyway for me.I am looking forward to the rest of my life with this angel for this is truly my destiny. Alas, I would like to share something as well with you men that has made all the difference in our romance that I feel will continue for all of eternity. Treat your woman with appreciation. Try and achieve that Deep emotional connection with her that so  many man fail at. Let her know on a Daily basis that she is the most Beautiful and sexiest woman in the world to you. And last, Explore all levels of intimacy in the Bedroom with her. I would like to Thank you men, Nay Brothers, for being there in my time of need. Zigwyth out!
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Angus

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« Reply #83 on: July 24, 2006, 06:12:55 PM »


   Zig, I can't tell ya how happy I am reading your post! Blessings to you both!
   That post should be required reading.

   And the healing continues... life is good!
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Blink

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #84 on: July 24, 2006, 10:04:09 PM »

Zig, what an uplifting story. I too wish you and your honey the very best. My prayers will be with you. It is so nice to read happy and positive stories. Life is not over because we have peyronies, you are living proof. I too have learned much more about myself. I hope that one day I will find the joy and happiness that you have. Thank you for sharing with us. Peace.......Out!      Blink
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howcanthisbe

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #85 on: July 24, 2006, 10:17:38 PM »

Roy, yea it does suck to have this at such a young age. I just turned 23 and think I have Peyronies Disease. I got it from some blood pressure meds my crappy doc put me on without informing me of any possible sexual side effects. Anyways dealing with this sucks. I too am in college. The whole not meeting girls at bars thing is right. I met 2 and both turned out bad. The first was at a frat party at she unzipped my pants to see it only like half erect, the second was sex and it wasnt fully erect. Although both of these times I had 25 plus beers each night so that effected my erection problem. Anyways I dont know if thats related to Peyronies Disease or beer. The point is dont look for girls at bars and all because they are all shallow little sluts. Anyways right now im like you, my erections are still hard and all. I dont think a girl would notice my problem as I have a slight bend and a dent which is getting bigger. Anyways dealing with this is horrible, but I have faith I will heal over time since im so young. I havent even really worried about it in the last week, I was amazingly depressed at first which is so unlike me because nothing can bring me down ever. Anyways im feeling a little down today because I noticed that my dent is growing and I had a slight pain today. Im just gonna forget about it and find a girlfriend and have sex at least once a day. I really think man having good hard erections without you phyiscally inducing it will help. Always remember that VED seems to be a popular treatment in here if worse comes to worse. I know if my erection gets bad or deformed im going straight to VED. Like all the others are saying in here, find a good girlfriend that wont mind if your erections are a little softer or bent. Thats what I got to do fast. Anyways hope I helped you, dont give up hope as things can get better or even go back to near normal. If you can still get a hard erection then your good right now if you stablize. Anyways good luck man.
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ComeBacKid

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Re: Howcanthisbe
« Reply #86 on: July 24, 2006, 10:28:52 PM »

Your the only dude I know who can drink 25 beers in a night and live to talk about it the next day!  ;)
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Liam

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« Reply #87 on: July 24, 2006, 10:44:54 PM »

 ;D :) ;) ::) :-*

Erection problems might be related to 25+ beers.  DO YA THINK?

Quote
The point is dont look for girls at bars and all because they are all shallow little sluts.

Except the ones that go just because they like to dance.  And there are some deep ones  :o
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Caring

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #88 on: July 25, 2006, 02:39:22 AM »

howcanthisbe

Since you appear to have such a low opinion of women, then perhaps we (women) are better off that you get drunk and can't  bring out the Louisville Slugger that you were so accustomed to in high school.
Do you not read the posts here that talk about relationships and what is important?
Search out these posts and read them...twice. Calm down/slow down and try to understand that what these posts say about the male/female relationships are true.
If you truly want to learn how to deepen relationships with women, I suggest you start with a resolution to reduce the beer consumption form 25  to 2.
I don't mean to sound hurtful, but with all due respects... damn.
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ComeBacKid

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Re: Younger ladies in America
« Reply #89 on: July 25, 2006, 06:20:00 AM »

HCTB,

While I do think you were a bit over the top buddy, I can relate and verfiy that some of what you say about "shallow little sluts," is true.  In our age group there does seem to be many more shallow women who are more interested in money and looks, however this does go both ways, and perhaps it was even us males who made the females that way.  I think it can be harder for a baby boomer or older individual to understand our age group and the "new social order," than one thinks. 
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Mick

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Reply to Howcanthisbe
« Reply #90 on: July 25, 2006, 08:26:10 AM »

Caring is right on.  On the whole, men are far more "slutty" than women. 
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zigwyth

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Howcanthisbe
« Reply #91 on: July 25, 2006, 10:43:08 AM »

HCTB.Perhaps you didn't read my post in this section from yesterday?? I can't imagine how I would have felt at your age with this crap. So therefore I feel compassion for you and what you're going through.However, I urge you to read my post. There are many young ladies out there that would love to find a decent young man who has virtues of honesty, loyalty, appreciation, passion for romance, sense of humor, compassion for your fellow man/woman, etc. My suggestion would be to take a hard look at yourself and ask if there is anything you can do to be a better man. I guarantee you will be much more happier with whom you shall become. Also, the sooner you quit letting the "little head" be in control, the better. Just my thoughts. Zig
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Hawk

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« Reply #92 on: July 25, 2006, 10:58:38 AM »

I think Caring made a good point and made it well.  In fact, I was thinking the same thing when reading HCTB's post but it was late and I did not take time to post.  We are fortunate to have such women here.

I have lived long enough and carefully observed enough to know that you find what you look for in people and in life.  You can go to a city and find culture, fine museums, great food, and great company.  You can also find drugs, prostitution, gangs, and squalor. In law enforcement I  have seen this both on the street and in prisons.  You can do your time and get out, or hang with an element that will plunge you into prison violence and a degraded life.

I teach at a 4 year college.  My wife teaches older teenage girls at church.  I see females in their teens and early 20's that are as grounded as any generation has ever produced. Their standards are absolutely uncompromising and their goal it to sort through the crud and find an equally uncompromising eternal companion.  You will never meet these women at a mindless beer bash.  To one that hangs out bars and frat parties, they just don't exist.  They are invisible.  You do not qualify as someone they would talk too because you are being shallow.  You can not expect a girl to unzip your pants at a party and pull out a simi-erect penis and say, "But I love you for who your are inside" ???  If you are wasted letting strange girls unzip your pants then you are acting shallow and are a shallow-Chick magnet.  If a woman lays down spread eagle and nude at a frat part, she will only meet shallow men in the line that forms.  For her to then conclude all men in this generation are shallow, would only show her immaturity at understanding life and how it works.

If I were single, I would avoid such places when looking for people of substance.   I would strike up conversations with women at grocery stores, museums, church activities, and community volunteer projects or political rallies (that I agreed with).  I would then conclude what an inspiration it is to find that there are so many compassionate women of substance.  Life being what it is, many will shrug this little bit of wisdom off as the babblings of some old man caught in a generational warp.  I understand and accept that.  I also understand that in a decade or two, they will look back and wish they had done it differently.  The payback unfortunately comes when everything they have learned gets shrugged off by the generation behind them that just seem to see the modern generation a bit more clearly.

The endless cycle continues except for those few that can learn from the lessons of others.

Rest assured, there was an unlimited supply of shallow girls when I was a teen.  I am sure Old Man would say the same.  When we acted the part, I am sure we both met many of them.
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Old Man

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with past life controversial sex
« Reply #93 on: July 25, 2006, 11:10:57 AM »

Note to all:

I won't bore the forum with my past history of riotous living before being converted into a life as a Christian. Being raised on a farm in the 1930s in a very rural area, sex education for us boys was at the hands of observing the farm animals in their reproductive life. So, I won't go there. Our parents were very prudish about sex and never mentioned the subject.

After leaving the farm, entering the U.S. Navy, and suddenly was thrust into the world of drinking, sex and other lewd worldy things, I soon became a part of it. This continued for years until I met the "right" person for me. Since that time we have shared 43 wonderful years of married life, raised three children and now have 8 grand children. (Note: I am over 13 years older than my wife which has caused no problems in our marriage, so age does not always enter into the equation.)

Bottom line, one can make what they want to of their life. But, they must make the effort to do that. There is a saying that says: Faith without works becomes void and empty.

The above is just MHO about the philosophy of life as a Christian. So, be aware that aa person must make his own life.

Regards to all, Old Man

PS: Yes Hawk, I agree with your post 110%.
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Liam

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #94 on: July 25, 2006, 11:56:33 AM »

Quote
she will only meet shallow men in the line that forms.

 
Well said!!!!  Most of the time you find what you are looking for.


Caring,

"Damn" fine post. :)
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George999

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #95 on: July 25, 2006, 01:01:03 PM »

Although I think that Old Man has said it well, I would like to add a few points here.

We who are Christians view marriage as a commitment, rather than as a means of simply fullfilling our carnal lusts.  That certainly leaves plenty of room for romance and physical pleasure, but those are not the driving issues.  It is commitment to each other on a deep level, in service to Christ, that drives our marriages and gives them stability.  Having said that, I think that actually most women are more committed to their husbands than the other way around.  God made women with some powerful maternal instincts that extend even to us as husbands.  When it comes to sexual issues, most women are far more understanding than most men are.  In my case, my wife has gone through everything from hysterectomy to mastectomy and that has not detracted from our sexual relationship one whit.  But I can tell you of too many cases where beautiful women have been abruptly dumped by their brutal mates over just those issues.  Those people who receive the most fullfillment from their sexual relationships know that that fullfillment is not dependent on physical perfection.  Those who find physical imperfections sexually troubling with go through life jumping from one relationship to another and never finding satisfaction, because sexual relationships in and of themselves do not provide a stable foundation for living.  I am thankful for a wonderful marriage, a caring wife and children, and caring doctors who have blessed my life beyond what I could ever have immagined.  And I wish the same for all of you.

- George
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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #96 on: July 25, 2006, 01:12:48 PM »

Wow George,  You could not have said that any better. 

The relationship between a man and a women was meant to be fulfilling and supportive on so many levels.  Sexual pleasure was far down on that list.  It so unfortunate that many put it at the top and keep it there not even entertaining the thought that there is so much more to be had between each other.

I hope that for you young guys out there searching for a mate, that you try to keep that concept in mind when searching for someone to give your heart to for if you base a relationship on the physical aspect of compatatbility, you will ultimately be let down in the end. Those are the components of a relationship that are the least important when the rubber meets the road and hard times meet you (as you can be sure that they will).
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howcanthisbe

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #97 on: July 25, 2006, 04:56:48 PM »

im not labeling girls as shallow little sluts. Im just telling you what kind of girls your gonna meet at bars that wanna have a one night stand. Most of them are sluts that want sex because they are in the mood etc. So all I was saying is those type of girls expect a hard erection and might be mean about it when they see your problem. I was just trying to tell Roy to avoid those types in fear he might get some nasty feedback from those type of girls. ComeBackid, you have never seen a guy drink 25 beers in one night and live? I know people who can drink alot more then 25 beers in one night and live to tell about it the next day,lol. Anyways sorry if it sounded like im labeling all girls as shallow sluts because im not. I just said he needs to try to meet some decent girls and yes there are some at the bars but I think there are more at church groups, volunteer places, work etc. I just wanted to say avoid the one night stand type girls because like 70% of them can be mean about this kind of stuff. I know im sterotyping and alot can be nice. Anyways sorry again..... its just from my experience. I had one girl laugh at me and leave, and the other I never heard back from her.
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Christine

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Re: Psychological Component - Coping with Peyronies Disease
« Reply #98 on: July 25, 2006, 05:07:45 PM »

Thanks for clearing that up HCTB.  I would hate to think that you have that low of an opinion of women in general.    There are plenty of us out here that care more about the man's intelligence, sense of humor, compassion, gentleness, sincerity, spiritual life, etc...  than what is in his pants.   The challenge is to find them.  The same challenge is present for women in that case.   I am sure the right gal is out there for each and every one of you out looking for that perfect mate.  You just need to be patient and aware of where you are and how you present yourself in order to catch their eye.  Take it slow and be real with them and you will be surprised how far it will take you.
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ComeBacKid

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« Reply #99 on: July 25, 2006, 05:09:15 PM »

HCTB,

I've partied with the craziest of crazy people that would be camped out in front of Beaver Stadium drinking beers at 7am, when you say you are drinking 25 in a night, I assume you mean you go out around 10pm or 11pm and come back at like 4am and you've drank 25 in that time period, averaging about 4 or 5 per hour, if you do this more than once a week, this might be why you have erection problems!  Not to say the peyronies isn't causing them, but I would try to lay off the alcohol as much as possible, binge drinking certainly will not help anything at all.  You are right in saying that there are some nice girls out at clubs and bars, but I'd have to say from personal experience the slight majority of the girls out there are kind of shallow, not to mention the slight majority of men out there are kind of shallow to. Do you honestly just go out and meet a girl and try to have a one night stand with her that much? You should focus more on trying to please her and sensual touching with her, don't go straight to sex.

ComeBackid
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