Let’s Quit Porn Together

[redemption]

Hey all,

Quite a few of us struggle with a pornography addiction.  The good news is we will overcome this together.

Excessive porn use steals so much joy from our life. A few examples:

- low self confidence
- anxiety, depression, etc
- porn induced erectile dysfunction

The impact of pornography is most severe with those of us that grew up watching from a young age.

Given the nature of our conditions, it's imperative that we overcome porn addiction.

Let's use this thread to hold each other accountable and encourage each other on this journey.

My next post will cover the science of how porn addiction impacts your brain so you can know exactly what you're fighting.

[redemption]

The Science of Porn

Pornography use is an addiction. The substance = the chemicals that your brain releases when watching porn.

When you watch and climax to porn, your brain releases huge amounts of dopamine, the feel-good chemical.

Instead of wiring your brain to be aroused by real-world stimuli, you train yourself to get aroused by pixels on a screen.

Here's a few of the consequences:

• Increasingly deviant porn taste - continued porn use creates a need for bigger dopamine hits. Our brains like novelty. It's common for porn users to find themselves watching fetishes that they would not entertain in real life.

• Lower motivation - It (usually) takes a lot of work to attract a real-life partner. Porn teaches us to take the easy way out. The easy dopamine creates a feedback loop for motivation. You might be suffering more than sexually because of of your porn habit (professionally, social life, etc).

• Sexual dysfunction - this one is insidious. By creating unnatural pathways in our brain's arousal center via porn, natural sexual encounters suffer. Having no problems climaxing with porn but real-world sex is difficult or you can't get it up? You're probably suffering from porn induced erectile dysfunction (PIED).

Does all this stuff sound awful? That's because it is!

There is good news tho - your brain has the ability to rewire itself thru a process called neuroplasticity.

Next post you'll read about how to rewire your brain...

[redemption]

Rewiring Your Brain

Now we know about a few of the negative effects of porn. So how do we get better?

The answer is easy on paper but hard in practice: quitting porn entirely.

It starts one day at a time, sometimes one hour or minute at a time.

It's simple... your brain will heal itself the longer you abstain from porn.

Each time a relapse occurs, we delay our healing process.

Key note - abstain from entertaining sexual fantasy. It accesses the same porn pathways and is an easy route to relapse!

Our timelines will look different based on frequency, intensity of porn content, etc.

Here's a basic overview of what to expect:

• Initial weeks - likely to be filled with anxiety and depression. You just cut off your brain's easy hack to feel good anytime it wants.

• Flatline - as your neural pathways begin to rewire, you probably won't be getting erections very often.

• Recovery - the porn-free promise land. Morning wood returns. You get aroused by real-life stimuli. Your boner quality should increase.

We know the goal. Now let's make a game plan to get there...

[redemption]

Quit Porn Game Plan

Here's my plan to use this thread:

• I'm gonna post daily progress of the journey, feel free to do the same

• Will post if I fail, with an analysis of the triggers leading to relapse

• Encouragement for others on the journey and provide additional resources along the way

* If this thread becomes popular, maybe we can make a weekly zoom call to discuss our progress and connect on a deeper level

[redemption]

Log #1:

Last porn use: Jan 5th 2023 (40 days clean)

Last wank: Feb 7th 2023 (8 days)

Thoughts: was craving a relapse at work today of all places. Came up with this thread idea instead.

[Sonic]

Fantastic thread and I am all in.

I will use this thread to admit if I ever relapse again.

Right now I must be 3 weeks clean I think.

[Sonic]

I was also very addicted to Energy drinks. I have cut them out and replaced it with high quality green tea. This is also helping against relapsing with porn!

[redemption]

Let's go brother!

Day 1 no nicotine here

[redemption]

Log #1:

Last porn use: Jan 5th 2023 (40 days clean)

Last wank: Feb 7th 2023 (8 days)

Thoughts: was craving a relapse at work today of all places. Came up with this thread idea instead.

Log #2

No porn

No wank

Kept sexual thoughts to a minimum.

Morning chub... much room for improvement of erection quality

[LWillisjr]

You guys are an inspiration. I fully support what you are doing.
 

[Sonic]

Thank you!

[FrankPD]

Never had an addiction to porn but yeah this is awesome!  I fully support you guys!

Many can benefit.

 

[redemption]

Log #2

No porn

No wank

Kept sexual thoughts to a minimum.

Morning chub... much room for improvement of erection quality

Log 3: recap of yesterday 02-17-23

No porn or wank

More sexual thoughts than prior day

[Sun Rise]

Let's go brother!
I will start from today. Good luck to everyone.

[FrankPD]

How's everyone doing with this?

[redemption]

Day 4 & 5:

No porn

Wanked 2x this weekend tho

Interestingly enough - yesterday I got an erection that lasted like 5+ minutes while sitting down. I wasn't even thinking about sex

Big progress despite the wank

[redemption]

45 days (or is it 46?)

I woke up in the middle of the night with wood

I woke up at 6am with wood that lasted 15 minutes... my average wood duration from the past 2-3 years = 60 seconds

THERE IS HOPE

[Sonic]

An update from me is that I am probably a month free now and still not experiencing any kind of improvement in EQ. It is concerning. 2 years ago would I have abstained from porn just 1 week I would get a lot of hard spontaneous erections and libido would be really high. Now I have weak erections and super low libido.

Still going to fight and quit this permanent regardless.

[redemption]

Still going to fight and quit this permanent regardless.

imo porn addiction is progressive like alcoholism... its effects have a greater hold on us the longer we do it

I pray that a breakthrough is coming your way

[redemption]

yesterday = another day in the books porn-free

day 4 nicotine free (stumbled last week on this)

...

some guys at the office were joking about porn and sex and i noticed my anxiety levels went way up

falling back into old habits will only reinforce this anxiety so im just trying to acknowledge it and let it sit

[redemption]

im still going strong

how we doing people?

[FrankPD]

An update from me is that I am probably a month free now and still not experiencing any kind of improvement in EQ. It is concerning. 2 years ago would I have abstained from porn just 1 week I would get a lot of hard spontaneous erections and libido would be really high. Now I have weak erections and super low libido.

Still going to fight and quit this permanent regardless.

Back in September I lasted over 50 days and in those days woke up about five times with a morning erection.  Before that it wasn't happening much anymore. Erection quality was better too but still hard to maintain.

Taking Cialis it is much improved.

I did start no porn, three days now.

[PeyroniKirai]

Just in the interest of constructive criticism (and I will not use the term "Devil's advocate" since the creator of this string calls himself Redemption and he makes religious references in his profile!), I would like to suggest that masturbation is a normal and healthy activity, and that it can provide a release from sexual frustration which the partner, assuming there is one, may not be willing or able to provide in a timely manner.  Obviously there are different degrees of frustration and release:  I am not suggesting that it's normal to masturbate every hour or even every day.  This will differ from individual to individual based on many factors such as age; physical, sexual and mental health; the presence or absence of a sexual partner; the degree of sexual satisfaction being attained with that partner at the time; and psychological or cultural considerations.

If a physically fit happily married man in his fifties finds that his wife is not interested in sex more than once or twice a month, and he does not have any psychological or cultural aversion to masturbation -- for example, he does not believe it to be a sin -- then I submit that it would be perfectly normal for him to masturbate a few times a week.

Further I would submit that if that man first started looking at Playboy magazines as a teenager while masturbating, it would be perfectly normal if he gradually found over decades that that there were porn movies, and later VHS videocassettes, and later DVDs, and finally internet porn available which he found to be both tasteful and stimulating.  And I would submit that if he enjoyed those visual aids during his masturbatory sessions, there is no reason to think this is particularly perverted or unhealthy. Note I am not saying it's ok to watch rape movies, child porn, or other sadistic/demeaning/criminal material.  I am merely saying that there is "reasonable" porn where no one is getting hurt, just as there is healthy food and junk food.

The same goes for sexual fantasies.  Sexual fantasies are universal to all humans and even to animals who sometimes can be seen making humping movements in their sleep.  I would submit that much art, literature and music is at least partially based on sexual fantasy, even works which are considered classic.  I'm not talking about rap songs with filthy lyrics or smutty posters, but works of art you would find in major museums.

So my point here is that while Redemption did initially address his/her post to people who are addicted to porn, I get the sense that he/she is making blanket statements against activities which are both normal and healthy.  Unless you are actually so obsessed with porn and jerking off that you can't carry on your work life, social life, or love life, then I would submit that you can lighten up and enjoy the process and the release once in a while without feeling shame or guilt.  Redemption mentions people who can't get sexually excited in a real situation, but only in front of porn, and this is definitely abnormal, but I would submit that we needn't be quite so Draconian here and say that people must abstain from all porn, all masturbation, and all sexual fantasy.  That, I would submit, is even more unhealthy.  

Finally I would suggest that moderate but regular use of the pipes may keep contribute to sexual health, particularly the prostate gland and the erectile function.  Of course the best thing would be to have a loving and eager sexual partner available at all times, but not everyone has this, so perhaps they shouldn't feel guilty or sinful if they relieve themselves with masturbation.  We are not Onan in the Bible who God got angry at for spilling his seed upon the ground.

Just sayin', feedback welcome in the constructive spirit of this Forum.

PK

[Sonic]

@PeyroniKirai

For me it has nothing to do with jacking off. I have done that probably 5 times or more since I joined the thread. For me it is only about quitting porn. I agree with almost everything you said. Jacking off in moderate amount is definitely normal, as is sexual lusts and fantasies. But porn is by no means normal wether it be pics gifs videos or movies simply put all shapes or forms is unnatural. Sex is normal and the most intimate thing partners probably can do but watching other people have sex behind a screen is not something humans were designed to do. Your brain reacts to it almost the same way as when taking heroin or crack. You just want more and more. And the more you watch the more damage your brain takes. So much studies have been done and are currently being done on this and more and more evidence is coming out on how badly this affects the brain.

www.yourbrainonporn.com

This site has tons of information. People interested in the subject should go and read.

[redemption]

PK

Thanks for the feedback PK

You shouldn't feel the need to censor yourself on words like "Devil's Advocate." I won't get triggered.

To counter some of your points:

The first post of the thread makes it clear this is for people who consider themselves to have porn addictions.

Growing up with frequent use of high speed internet porn is going to have very different impacts on the brain compared to occasional use of Playboy magazines as a kid.

If someone doesn't have a porn addiction, their feedback is still welcome here.

[redemption]

still no porn... a few wanks

i had the best EQ in years. best in 5 years, maybe even since my injury 9 years ago

morning wood / chubs are happening frequently

how is everyone else doing?

[Sonic]

Not watched any porn but I saw some pics of some lightly dressed fitness gals/models. Do not know why I did this for the past 3 days. I guess it's my mind playing tricks on me. Not been close to a relapse porn wise though. Have masturbated here and there.

Zero improvement in EQ, morning wood etc. If I don't see any improvements in those aspects let's say in 3 months, then I am fully convinced I have severe fibrosis in my penis preventing good blood flow. I am already 80% sure of this.

[jj21]

I didn't know this thread existed. It's great to see members supporting each other in other aspects.

I also agree that, excessive pornography can lead to:

- unhealthy dopamine levels;
-lack of motivation;
- objectification of women;
- becoming anti-social.

and much more.

I also think excessive masturbation (especailly without lube) can be a contributor to peyronies.

I quite porn a long time ago, I found stopping masturbationg/limiting really helped with my peyronies too.  

[Hawk]

Guy,

I moved this topic to the Open Questions and General Comments board.  It is a more appropriate board than the "Forum Problem and Suggestions board.  Good luck!

[redemption]

lots of temptation this week but still porn free

too much wanking and fantasy in my head though... the goal is to be able to be aroused / chub up from real-life stimuli

life seems bleak right now but i will keep fighting this battle

[Sonic]

I have not relapsed porn wise but had a lot of sexual thoughts recently and even thoughts about porn videos I've seen in the past. Last week i even had a dream that I watched porn again and was brutally sad in the dream that I had relapsed and then when I woke up and realized it was only a dream I was like phew...

I now know that my addiction is actually worse than I thought. I never really watched it that much  every day or felt that I had a severe addiction to it but now holding off nearly 2 months I have understood it is indeed worse than I thought. I can tell my mind is playing tricks on me trying to get me to watch it again by reminding me of videos and pics I've seen in the past months. Even all the times that I have masturbated recently the thoughts in my head were all related to pornographic material I've viewed.

Arousal it at rock bottom. Erections pathetic. I do not even recognize my penis anymore neither in flaccid nor erect state. Mental health is probably at rock bottom. Only thing keeping me in check is regular excercise.

[Mikel7]

Arousal it at rock bottom. Erections pathetic. I do not even recognize my penis anymore neither in flaccid nor erect state. Mental health is probably at rock bottom. Only thing keeping me in check is regular exercise.

You are on the right road to recovery. You are experiencing the dopamine boost you get through exercise - not through porn.  Keep at it and things will return to normal in time.    

[Sonic]

Thanks Mike, I really hope so!

[redemption]

Arousal it at rock bottom. Erections pathetic. I do not even recognize my penis anymore neither in flaccid nor erect state. Mental health is probably at rock bottom. Only thing keeping me in check is regular excercise.

sounds like the flat line discussed on YBOP

in my past experience this stage was where i relapsed the most

it's super frustrating but i kept fighting thru it and now im starting to see results

[Sonic]

sounds like the flat line discussed on YBOP

in my past experience this stage was where i relapsed the most

it's super frustrating but i kept fighting thru it and now im starting to see results

I hope I can stay strong this time and I truly feel like I can. Was honestly some moments where you could kinda say it was close but at the same time not if you know what I mean. My battle with this in the past has been very different because I never really experience any serious adverse effects from consumin it and this is why it truly feels different this time.

The bad effects on my brain and body is motivating me like a burning fire to never start consuming this BS again.

All these years consuming porn honestly feels like I have assaulted my brain and it is in critical condition.

If my brain is capable of ever truly fully recovering from this remains to be seen but I am happy that I have put this part of my life behind me.

[redemption]

^ def possible to fully recover

neuroplasticity is real

[jj21]

Great to see that you guys are here making progress.

My advice is, if you get that urge to watch porn, try to straight away replace it with something else, do ten pushups or go for a walk, eventually the urge will pass.

Consider a FWB with a female, if you guys are still ablet to have sex. I know it gets complicated with peyronies and sex may not be a good idea for some. But, having an FWB was always good too. Too much porn and you start to forget what it's like to be with a woman and have some human connection and affection which I believe is a really important aspect of life.

J

[Mikel7]

Great to see that you guys are here making progress.



Consider a FWB with a female,  

J

Does this mean "Friends With Benefits"? Excuse me in old.

[jj21]

Does this mean "Friends With Benefits"? Excuse me in old.

Yes Mike, that's correct.

I believe deep down, a lot of us males crave affection and intimacy, and when we try to get it from porn, we are left feeling very empty. So, I think even an FWB with a girl can be good for you, as long as there is mutual understanding.  

[redemption]

solid week for me on this front... over 2 months no porn

welcome to all who posted in here this week for the first time

[redemption]

Great to see that you guys are here making progress.

My advice is, if you get that urge to watch porn, try to straight away replace it with something else, do ten pushups or go for a walk, eventually the urge will pass.

Consider a FWB with a female, if you guys are still ablet to have sex. I know it gets complicated with peyronies and sex may not be a good idea for some. But, having an FWB was always good too. Too much porn and you start to forget what it's like to be with a woman and have some human connection and affection which I believe is a really important aspect of life.

J

went to the beach last saturday and been struggling with the lust since

a fwb seems like a great idea

it doesn't align with my faith however which is something im wrestling with

[Hawk]

For those interested in this topic, this is a very interesting and informative site.  I found some of the videos riveting.

Www.FightTheNewDrug.org

[Sonic]

Thank you for that link Hawk. I have not seen OP in a while.

Sadly I relapsed somewhere around April and when it happened it went on a downward spiral.

Feel like I am now in a hole and it is hard to get out.

[Hawk]

Sonic, If you want to hear a chilling account of what porn actually is, listen to this tease, then click on the whole interview.  There are actually two parts.  It should be a movie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsA1nY8tJOs

Just remember that change often means stumbling and starting over again and again.  It does not mean you have not made progress.  You are likely wiser and closer to where you want to be than you think.