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[20yo]

it just keeps getting worse
my urologist said it would eventually stop.
it's a progression towards misery

i tried going out on a date and it made me feel miserable. how can i ever tell him i'm basically impotent at 22. how can i expect him to stay with me.
and for what? because i'm funny? that is what friends are for. i don't need a friend i need sex

[Curvekiller94]

I’m sorry you’re struggling man I know the feeling. My gf broke up with me because we weren’t intimate enough. Although I could try other ways I  would grow frustrated because then end result was always painful for me. Now I am single and This beautiful 22 year old Russian girl has a crush on me and I really would love to have fun with her (not as a friend), but sex has been Anything but fun for me since the onset of this stupid condition.  If only I could stop the pain in my penis this only then would I feel comfortable. It was only supposed to last 2 years but I still see changes and pain so I am in a similar boat to you and I’m very sorry this. I do have hope that an implant will at least allow me to not fear progression anymore and fix my Erectile Dysfunction. but I fear the surgery. The more time I waste the older I get my youth is fading you are still very young. I am stil young too but feel great full time is on your side. You will figure this out I believe in you. We both will just keep exercising and keep your chin up. Find good hobbies that thrill you. It is hard to ignore these problems but I find very stimulating games and events distract me enough to find peace for a while.

[20yo]

yes i think ill go on living, exercising, studying and sometimes seeing my friends but i will be miserable
alone and miserable like i was the last 2.5 years.
everybody will talk about their relationships, friends, families, projects and hobbies.
i, instead, see myself just surviving and living life passively.
i just had a visit with my urologist and he told me i have a new plaque, which means im back to square one, god knows when this plaque is going to stabilize, and by that time a new one will appear
i dont like the thought of killing myself but 100% i wish i was dead every day.
i started talking to a guy (i am gay) but i don't know why. just because of peer pressure. i am aware nothing will come out of it. i really need love and affection but i dont expect him to give me any of that if he cant be intimate with me. he can get 20 other guys with working penises.

i dont really find enjoyment from games. i have the wish to have a meaningful life, with love, intimacy, family. games cant fill that void, they may act as a distraction but empty and frustrated i remain.
im sure for other people they have a different effect

[Curvekiller94]

Yes I understand what you are feeling fully. And I feel the same way just for woman but the idea is the same. It is an easier condition to have if you are married and older. It is a harsh condition to have in your youth I feel for you bro. I totally feel wanting to be dead, (but I never never would life is too precious) but it makes me feel worthless when the things I want are right in front of me sometimes even approaching me but it’s like I can only look I cannot touch.

I feel like an old man who was married and whose partner has passed. This is a strange way to feel from age 26+ but such is life I suppose. I smoke my life away in front of the screen. You are right it isn’t the best and isn’t the point of life but I get too frustrated in the real world. So i hide

[20yo]

sorry bro i didnt mean to bring you down
you are probably more mentally sane than me and you are able to enjoy another activity (video games) without thinking about the problems of life.
I can't, at the moment. Maybe in the future

[jj21]

yes i think ill go on living, exercising, studying and sometimes seeing my friends but i will be miserable
alone and miserable like i was the last 2.5 years.
everybody will talk about their relationships, friends, families, projects and hobbies.
i, instead, see myself just surviving and living life passively.
i just had a visit with my urologist and he told me i have a new plaque, which means im back to square one, god knows when this plaque is going to stabilize, and by that time a new one will appear
i dont like the thought of killing myself but 100% i wish i was dead every day.
i started talking to a guy (i am gay) but i don't know why. just because of peer pressure. i am aware nothing will come out of it. i really need love and affection but i dont expect him to give me any of that if he cant be intimate with me. he can get 20 other guys with working penises.

i dont really find enjoyment from games. i have the wish to have a meaningful life, with love, intimacy, family. games cant fill that void, they may act as a distraction but empty and frustrated i remain.
im sure for other people they have a different effect

The first line in your paragraph above is really important. Try not to make peyronies the center of your life - keep living. Become a better, high value male, study more, accumulate wealth, get a nice body.... I did exactly that, and 4 years later I am not only in a better place mentally, but I have managed to improve my life in all aspects. I am also seeing improvements with peyronies and also ready to accept an implant.

Hang in there.

[Curvekiller94]

Don’t worry @ 20yo you didn’t say anything that offended me or I didn’t know already. I just very much relate to what you posted. I’m not suicidal by any means but I often dread getting out of bed etc.

Video games is just a good alternative to  ignore my reality for now until things are better.

I very much appriciate jj’s comments that is my mindset as well. Right now I might not be able to have one night stands or a crazy sex life, but I can continue to build my surrounding life and that is really the only important part is that you don’t stop your life for this disease. So I work long hours and in the weekends instead of going out I watch boxing matches and play video games. I need to start excersicing more I hope to soon.

Keep your chin up everyone. One day I will get surgery and be freed of this. We all will someone get free from this I believe it isn’t impossible.


I will say it is very hard to ignore the sexual inuendo and peer pressure from peers, girls, tv adds, movies, music, it seems it is everywhere. I suppose that is because it is something desired by most people.


A great sport to watch is boxing because so many of the athletes overcome such hardships before even entering the ring. It is therapeutic for me to know just because I am struggling doesn’t mean others aren’t as well. Just keep pushing and stay focused. I used to box before my shoulder gave out. Now I just bet lol

[jj21]

curvekiller - thats a really great outlook to have. We must try to stay positive and keep our focus on overcoming this.

Hope the poster is feeling a bit better.

[Stepone]

Hey guy
I am so sorry about what you are going through at such a young age.
I am not sure what you are into sexually, but I have many gay friends and some have very different forms of sex.
Sex is very very complicated for many people. Until you get your penis “cured”, it might be a time to explore other areas of sex, such as massage, grinding, toys, anal, kinks, fetishes, etc.
There is a huge other world out there that many including myself have no idea about. I can’t begin to tell you what kinds of things both gay and straight friends have told me what turns them on.
Use Google search to open up your world.
Please feel free to private message me, if you want to chat more.
I feel for you my friend and hope that things will take a good turn soon. You certainly sound like a nice guy, and despite what is front of you now, there is always someone else out there just for you.
StepOne

[jj21]

StepOne - Thanks for the support you have shown me in the past, and also other members like the poster of this thread

Really helps to know that we aren't alone.

J

[20yo]

thank you stepone for your kind words
i think i will indeed have to explore. i cant let this be the end of me
to be fair i was into being a top so it's hard to give it up.
also i really liked masturbation (who doesn't)
ill try to see if i can find a kink and hopefully one that doesnt require a fully erect penis

[Surtr]

Seems like life is not fair when your ability to stimulate a partner is complicated (feels removed). Peyronies makes you feel responsible for their unhappiness, but do not fear. If you have not already thrown the kitchen sink at your physical deformity, then what is the reason? Be unhappy but work towards correctly applying all available methods of healing and you may have success repairing before surgery. When I had my penis broken 11 years ago, as a 17yo, My life was trashed. The best thing you can do is become satisfied with your strategy to become well (do you have it all figured out?) Or just find a way to function w/o sex and romance [unless completely transparent with the individual you're trying to bring pleasure.] You've mentioned kinks, maybe you can study dildo machines bringing individuals to climax. Seems that at a young age Peyronies is the worst. I am now glad that I'm as well organized and thoughtful as can be to fix my Peyronies Disease without surgery - I am throwing the kitchen sink at it. I've not had sex or romance in years because it would not be effective. I know my time has to be spent fixing the issue. Do not make yourself miserable, learn all methods of improving your condition and begin doing the work. 

[Curvekiller94]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B_CN8kT0MWU

Great motivational clip on not giving up