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Author Topic: what when you are genuinely trying but failing  (Read 414 times)

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gobbler

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what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« on: January 07, 2022, 12:36:45 PM »

what then? should I just accept that this is a very lengthy process, finding and accepting yourself and life in general? what if after improvements you made in your life, after actually thinking about your mental health, going through the resources, working with a therapist for 15 months, prayer, meditation, other techniques, having daily rhythms, getting a job you still feel mentally worn out and exhausted all the time? I do feel better I have to say but some days I just cant. some days it is just dragging me down so hard and I cant control it, those days where I remember that I cannot even masturbate because of the discomfort and the fact that it just feels awful to lose a lot of girth in the most sensitive area of your dick. when you cant tell anyone about it and everyone thinks you are happy but you are not happy, you are in fact very unhappy with your life. I feel like I have made decent progress. but I cant see myself in 5 years. I cant see myself reaching a state much better than what is now. I continue to work on it, the thing is once you actually work on this you have to give up this "last resort" that you saved up all the time, for me this was a big realization that fixing mental health is not like swallowing a pill, its not like a therapist is a normal doctor that can prescribe you medicine. most of the work is down to the patient and sometimes things are hard to really get forward. when you stagnate for a long time it adds another layer of hopelessness. I dont even know anymore. im so tired
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diagnosed with peyronies disease in Feb. 2020
mid 20
tried VED without much success, Cialis and potaba
single

Kobegianna

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2022, 01:37:21 PM »

Same. It’s been a year already for me. The year went by so quick. But it was/is the most depressing  and difficult year of my life. I hate that I visit this site every day. I hate that this is on my mind 24/7. It consumes me. I have become detached from my friend and family. My work is suffering but I don’t care. I lay in bed all day on my days off. I hate that this has ruined my future and I’m trying to get better but I can’t. Because the only way I will feel better is if I can heal my Peyronie’s but there is no cure. And people with implants please don’t chime in and say implants are wonderful. If I comes down to it I may need to get one. But at this point people saying an implant is a solution it is not going to make us feel better.
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34 yrs Old, Healthy very active
Possibly injured penis or took too much Cialis
Symptoms starting January-February 2021
First dent seen April 4, 2021, painful erections

RichardWilson99

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2022, 03:17:57 AM »

Gobbler and Kobegianna,

What you say is real. And being real with yourself and your emotions is very important. Your life has changed and you need to work on that acceptance.  But it doesn't mean your life has to be terrible. I believe if you feel this way and your dragging your feet everywhere you go, you need to see a therapist. You need to get into some type of regimen that can help your mind heal.  Your penis will heal and improve, whether you need surgery or not. There is a path forward for your penis.   However, it is easy to neglect your mind which you must not.  Please both of you go see a therapist.  It's helped me tremendously.  Opening up to someone , eye to eye, about your problem really helps.  And treating your depression is important in order to move forward with healing your penis.
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31/Single
Injury Nov 2019, bend 15deg, loss of erections, dent and hard-flaccid
VED, cialis 5mg on/off
EQ medium (with pills), no NTE.  Lost 1+ inches length, lots in girth. Some loss of sensation. Considering implant to restore full sexual function

Hawk

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2022, 08:50:48 AM »

It is important that you acknowledge you do NOT have to visit this site every day or every week.  I would be happier to see you gone than for you to make this part of an unhealthy obsession.

Yes IT IS DIFFICULT but the key is that YOU CAN DO DIFFICULT THINGS

You are NOT a bystander to your life.  You are the author and the captain.  You make decisions.  You follow those decisions.  If you want things to change then YOU MUST CHANGE SOMETHING.  As Stephen Covey said, "I am not a product of my circumstances.  I am a product of my decisions."

Learn to control your thoughts (through CBT, meditation, etc) and you control your happiness.
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Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 70 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums

Kobegianna

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2022, 01:37:36 PM »

I have talked to a therapists. They read from a script. They have their own issues. They don’t have any idea what Peyronie’s does to a man.
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34 yrs Old, Healthy very active
Possibly injured penis or took too much Cialis
Symptoms starting January-February 2021
First dent seen April 4, 2021, painful erections

RichardWilson99

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2022, 08:55:12 AM »

They may not know what peyronies does to a man.  But they sure have dealt with lots of heavy things in life, which is why you have to be patient to see results.

You hit it on the head, they have their own issues/read from a script.  Both of those should be indication to you that they are not "god", but humans trying to help you.  Even if 99% of it is BS, 1% will help you and that's worth it. 1% improvement is better than 0%.

This ain't easy.  I too struggle with how terrible this feels. Part of being happy is dealing with unhappiness gracefully :)
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31/Single
Injury Nov 2019, bend 15deg, loss of erections, dent and hard-flaccid
VED, cialis 5mg on/off
EQ medium (with pills), no NTE.  Lost 1+ inches length, lots in girth. Some loss of sensation. Considering implant to restore full sexual function

Hawk

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2022, 10:34:56 AM »

If you go to a counselor that "reads from a script," then you have not been to a GOOD counselor. A good counselor will seek to understand how you see your problem and how to help you think about that problem differently and how to act in a different way.  Remember, it is how we think about circumstances that occur in our lives that determine our suffering, not the condition itself. That is clear even reading this forum.  Men with worse conditions often thrive while those with lesser conditions languish in mental suffering.

Many expect a counselor to touch and heal their issues like God. They can not say something that makes it all better. Counselors are humans educated in applying proven principles to help you help yourself. They don't have to be you.  They don't need to experience your exact problems.  They don't need to experience your life. Knowing these principles does not help.  You must apply them. Unless you understand that basic concept, you place yourself beyond help.

CBT counseling is about you working to change yourself with the help of a trained coach. It does not require years like psychoanalysis. It is short-term, and it works.
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Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 70 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums

gobbler

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2022, 10:06:33 PM »

its absolutely debilitating when you cant have an erectio without substantial pain, severe Erectile Dysfunction; some strange hard cord in your dick that make it lose girth in that area and you dont even know what it is, what is going on. its the worst
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diagnosed with peyronies disease in Feb. 2020
mid 20
tried VED without much success, Cialis and potaba
single

gobbler

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #8 on: January 11, 2022, 01:32:37 PM »

I think I have a good support network but multiple issues have been adding up. I always loved to do sports, when I first had this penile pain and indentation it helped me a lot, now I seem to have acquired some muscle metabolic condition where I have very weak muscles and they fatigue very fast. I can barely work out anymore, climbing steps I feel tired but not like I used to when I was lazy or fat, its a different kind of tiredness, like, there is pain in the muscles especially in the upper limbs, googling around it sounds like some kind of myopathy or something. I dont even know, my doctor has not found anything major but I will be seeing him this week again. sometimes I wonder whether I have gone totally crazy but there is no way this can be all in my mind. the penile pain, the muscle pain, the Erectile Dysfunction and the muscle weakness(I used to be very active and now I feel like an 80yo physical wise being mid 20 though)

its just the same problem, when its not something totally obvious, doctors are not really up to the challenge, whether it is knowledge or time. I realized how much working out actually helped my mental health when I couldn't do it anymore. this has been the case since July now and I have not found a solution yet. at some point I will order something mad like a muscle biopsy to understand what is wrong with me. I also want to do a penile ultrasound to check for fibrosis because I have pain every time I get an erection, pain that is deeper than that of the constriction due to the indentation ring(the hard tissue band constricting expansion)

as far as counselors go, you just have to keep looking. there is indeed a lot that are just reading from a script, doing "lip service" as I say, they say things that are meant to shut you up, comfortable lies that are meant to suffocate your suffering. that is not necessary, suffering is real and needs to be dealt with, not ignored and denied out of existence. I have seen many who just said its not a big deal.

one therapist thought my issue with my dick was because I was fearful that I cannot bear children. I had to explain that a) I do not give a [email protected]< about children, I cant even take care for myself and b) there is an awful lot of things worse about peyroneis than not being able to bear children(not that this is even a thing). but others can understand very well and while they indeed may not have had this exact problem, there is a multitude of issues that someone can be dealing with that are on par with this


I very much agree with hawk on that knowing things alone does not work at all and you do have to apply it and work through it. I am not very good at this but I have definitely realized, sometimes you think you could help someone else with your "wisdom" but you cant even help yourself because you cannot translate it into action.

but in the end I still very much hope for improvement in the actual causes, I am not sure how well I could live with not being able to work out like I used to and not being able to have get any sexual satisfaction. however I can say that I do not think about killing myself anymore at all, it sucks but it needs to be worked out somehow, too much time has already been lost forever
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diagnosed with peyronies disease in Feb. 2020
mid 20
tried VED without much success, Cialis and potaba
single

Torsten64

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2022, 02:02:47 AM »

Yes, this is a psychologically grueling thing to go through but we all hope you get through it. All the best.
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63, Peyroines since 2014, no Erectile Dysfunction, lost relationship over it. Tried Pentox, did nothing. Don’t think traction will work. Lost length, bend upward maybe 30 degrees. From Jever, Germany

Torsten64

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2022, 02:05:26 AM »

And Hawk. Please don’t ban me. I’m trying to be helpful to people here! Sorry for the misstatements of the past.  8)
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63, Peyroines since 2014, no Erectile Dysfunction, lost relationship over it. Tried Pentox, did nothing. Don’t think traction will work. Lost length, bend upward maybe 30 degrees. From Jever, Germany

Torsten64

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2022, 02:07:30 AM »

Those big red words make me look bad Hawk, so please have some compassion in your heart!
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63, Peyroines since 2014, no Erectile Dysfunction, lost relationship over it. Tried Pentox, did nothing. Don’t think traction will work. Lost length, bend upward maybe 30 degrees. From Jever, Germany

Torsten64

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #12 on: January 13, 2022, 02:21:20 AM »

And I promise Hawk I won’t say anything bad about implants in the future(after a really nice guy, and friend of mine, Tortao had it and it was successful, and I’m happy for him) so I’ve changed my ways. My apologies to everyone who remembers me (Yes I’m Jan), and I’ve been on probation for almost 2 years so let me say something here. Please? :P
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63, Peyroines since 2014, no Erectile Dysfunction, lost relationship over it. Tried Pentox, did nothing. Don’t think traction will work. Lost length, bend upward maybe 30 degrees. From Jever, Germany

Torsten64

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #13 on: January 13, 2022, 02:28:05 AM »

And before you make any rash decisions, Hawk, have some compassion in your heart. I’m only 63 and I have this Peyroines thing too, and I need the support of these other guys on the board. You can always put me on some kind of probation, right?
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63, Peyroines since 2014, no Erectile Dysfunction, lost relationship over it. Tried Pentox, did nothing. Don’t think traction will work. Lost length, bend upward maybe 30 degrees. From Jever, Germany

Torsten64

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #14 on: January 13, 2022, 03:17:10 AM »

And Hawk, please take away all those red lines and words because they make me look like a bad person and I’m not.  8)
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63, Peyroines since 2014, no Erectile Dysfunction, lost relationship over it. Tried Pentox, did nothing. Don’t think traction will work. Lost length, bend upward maybe 30 degrees. From Jever, Germany

Kobegianna

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #15 on: January 13, 2022, 02:19:17 PM »

You don’t have to apologize
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34 yrs Old, Healthy very active
Possibly injured penis or took too much Cialis
Symptoms starting January-February 2021
First dent seen April 4, 2021, painful erections

Torsten64

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #16 on: January 13, 2022, 02:48:29 PM »

Thanks for the reply.
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63, Peyroines since 2014, no Erectile Dysfunction, lost relationship over it. Tried Pentox, did nothing. Don’t think traction will work. Lost length, bend upward maybe 30 degrees. From Jever, Germany

Torsten64

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #17 on: January 13, 2022, 09:23:15 PM »

Yeah, just disregard all that red lettering stuff.
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63, Peyroines since 2014, no Erectile Dysfunction, lost relationship over it. Tried Pentox, did nothing. Don’t think traction will work. Lost length, bend upward maybe 30 degrees. From Jever, Germany

LWillisjr

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #18 on: January 14, 2022, 10:06:46 AM »

You can update the area yourself. It is in your profile that you can edit or change.
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Developed peyronies 2007 - 70 degree dorsal
Traction/MEDs/Injections/Surgery 2008
65y/o  13 years Peyronies free
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Torsten64

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Re: what when you are genuinely trying but failing
« Reply #19 on: January 14, 2022, 09:38:41 PM »

I did LWilliisjr. Danke vielmals  :) (many thanks)
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63, Peyroines since 2014, no Erectile Dysfunction, lost relationship over it. Tried Pentox, did nothing. Don’t think traction will work. Lost length, bend upward maybe 30 degrees. From Jever, Germany
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