Changed thinking about treatments

[BrooksBro]

I started using traction in November 2009.  Even though I could rarely manage more than a few hours a day, I did begin to see some return of previously lost length.  Not being large to begin with, this was a big boost to me.  

About 8 months after starting traction (mid-2010), I switched to the 3-cylinder VED protocol, 15 minutes, twice daily.  I found my venous leakage needed the VED and constricting band for sexual intercourse.  I was up to week 20 when I gave up on the daily protocol, along with daily topical testosterone.  I admit, I was depressed and disgusted with all the treatments because they appeared to be ineffective in reducing my curve or improving my erections.

To reward myself for staying healthy and running, I travel to participate in large, organized, running events, which most people call races.  For me, they are much more of a running party and less of a race.  Still, I was often disappointed with my performance in these, because I did not finish in a specific time.  I read about the effectiveness of rewards in motivating athletes.  I realized I was disappointed because I failed to achieve a self-imposed goal, which, on race day, might be beyond my ability to control.  The only thing I can control is my training program.  I can do the daily runs, I can do the strength and flexibility training.  I cannot fully control how fast I may be able to run on any particular day, the weather, or the difficulty of the course.  This led me to begin changing my thinking away from being totally focused on finishing my next race in a specific time.  My focus is increasingly more on just doing my daily training program activities.

I am applying this same thinking to my Peyronie's treatments.  I cannot control the outcome, I can only control the process.  If I do the daily physical therapy treatments (traction and VED), there is the possibility of improvement, but it is not guaranteed.  What is almost guaranteed is, if I do not do them, there is reduced probability of improvement.  

I resumed testosterone (this time with weekly injections), traction and the VED protocol about a month ago.  Like with my running, I track my commitment to the process.  I find I can go straight from traction to the VED, but I cannot go in the other direction.  I am not as consistent with either as I think optimal, but I do the best I can every day.  I feel better by focusing on doing these treatments every day, and by not focusing on a particular outcome, which may or may not happen.

[crashbandit]

Hi BrooksBro,

That's great you feel more in control. I find the more out of control I am the worse I feel. If you find yourself in a more stable enviornment then you can concentrate on bettering yourself, rather then finding your bearing all the time.

Also, I've let myself down time and time again by thinking I'm going to be miraculously healed one day. It's almost like living in a dream world sometimes, that you pretend your someone your not. Maybe it's a combination of hope (which is good) and phantasy, but it can hurt bad when it all comes crashing down.

I really like your approach, there's no extreme highs and extreme lows. It's more of a steady, controled reality. I find myself becoming more and more liek that as I get older (now 30 y/o). I don't like surprises anymore and I don't like fooling myself into false realities.