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Author Topic: New to this forum!  (Read 3295 times)

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poppedknob

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New to this forum!
« on: April 04, 2011, 12:22:35 AM »

I love the age we live in...

This world hasn't always had time or acceptance for worrying about things like this peyronie's condition, but it has always held that misery loves company!  The old addage, like so many other things, was made as an easy way to pigeon-hole people with issues.

I love the age we live in now, though, as it proves every day one more wrong to be right and visa versa.  Voila, capitalism and the internet!  If i so have the need to pay a man to fix my broken penis, then by jove he is gonna go through medical school, specialization and years of research to take my money and make me happy (hopefully).  And as for the company which my woe has thusly evoked (you), if we share this misery than dog gonnit we are gonna put this misery to good use! Behold, instant group therapy over the internet.  I hope this works.

I am currently 24 and 7/24ths years old, and I have had Peyronies disease since before i can tell you for sure.  Hell, I AM PEYRONIES DISEASE.  it defines me.  I distinctly remember pondering many times in my early-pubescent youth whether or not i could ever get an erection, as i would describe to myself a 'sensation of leakage' any time I would become aroused.  For some strange reason i had accurately concluded on an entirely intuitive basis that this directly correlated not only with my over-90* curve, but the strange proportions my girth took in certain places, and my girth in general.

year after year after year, nothing changed.  I kept telling myself that It probably wasn't until later in my teens that I could actually get an erection.  I told myself that I would get bigger, that my proportions would become 'normal', and eventually I was telling myself that it was all in my head.......I probably had to have sex in order to get a full erection.

Having an already-introverted nature, I NEVER initiated conversations with girls, and avoided them in fear of being discovered.  as years went on, i found that i had to go to great lengths to keep suspicions at bay about my sexual confidence and sexual orientation (heterosexual).  Several times in high school girls would be assertive enough to ask for sex or a relationship almost flat out, but I wasn't willing to risk humiliation just in case.  I needed to find a girl who would be both assertive and trustworthy enough where i could develop a relationship with and essentially risk this overly-built up trial that was the subject of many nightmares (all of my sex dreams were nightmares for me).

Finally, that girl came and i was completely obsessed and enamored by her not to mention the final possibility of coexisting sexual expression and trust.  Not knowing any better, I did not pick up on the signs that neither manual nor oral sex resulted in an erection, however aroused I became.  On prom night(i know, so cliche) i gave it the old try.  did not work at all, but i chucked it up to jitters, and tried again and again.  We were so attached to each other, our relationship so strong, she stayed with me for over a year after that, when she could have gone anywhere.  but try as i might (and as she might), I could never get an erection quite clearly due to venous leakage.  I didnt know what caused it or if it was just how i was.  She blamed herself, and I resented her.

our relationship ended up a mess and a complete humiliation for me, the laughing stock of all my friends (18 at the time).  I farted around, doing odd jobs, got some new, less-than-reputable friends picked up the bottle and the bong and began my journey into self-destruction, and I never had sex again :'( :'( ...

Skip ahead 6 years, I have seen and done a lot of stupid crap, but I have quit all my bad habits and have been in college overtime studying premed for the past 2 years (props to Pell).  I saw things weren't going to get any better with this disease that was me... my curvature never completely went away, my penis is small and oddly-proportioned and absolutely embarrassing, and my inability to gain an erection cant get any worse.  after some serious soul-searching, a clearer understanding of ethics, psychology and a growing knowledge of the human body, I started to see how screwed up I am mentally, and I have to at least address this problem physically.  I've started my research and got an unofficial Peyronie's diagnosis from a urologist in the family (its unofficial because I don't have insurance).

If you got this far, thanks for reading!  Even if you faded out a little somewhere in there, It still felt darn good to put all this down.  Thanks PF.net!
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blueturf

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Re: New to this forum!
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2012, 09:04:19 PM »

Why would we get bored or not care about your story?

DON'T WE ALL SUFFER THE SAME THING?

So very nice to read your post; if I had gotten bored, I wouldn't have replied!

B
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Hawk

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Re: New to this forum!
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2012, 09:25:42 PM »

Great post!  I could feel the traces of the very soul of what you were expressing.  I say traces because I know in all honesty that I can't fully understand such a challenge.  What I do understand is that you have some impressive self analysis and rehabilitation in your story.

You sound like a candidate for a skilled surgery and a 3 piece implant When you get insurance.  Also, could this more likely be congenital curvature rather Than progressive Peyronies Disease?

Hawk
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Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 68 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums

james1947

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Re: New to this forum!
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2012, 01:11:50 AM »

poppedknob

I would like to say that your post is very mature especially taking in consideration your young age. An impressive self analysis as Hawk has written in his post. Some of us, myself first may learn from you how to deal with this disease from the psychological point of view.
It is important you will get an additional check to know what the problem is.
I am proposing you to enrich your knowledge reading this forum to have better tools to fight the disease.
You have tried something to fight this disease?

James
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Age 71, Peyronies from Jan 2009 following penis fracture during sex. Severe Erectile Dysfunction.
Lost 2" length and a lot of girth. Late start, still VED, Cialis & Pentox helped. Prostate surgery 2014.
Got amazing support on the forum

GS

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Re: New to this forum!
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2012, 08:47:34 AM »

I think I will print poppedknob's introduction and save it for the next time I am feeling sorry for myself after getting the SOB disease at 58 years old.

Poppedknob, I wish you the best and hope there ends up being some help for you.  Please, don't be a stranger to the forum.

GS
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Jonbinspain

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Re: New to this forum!
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2013, 04:56:19 PM »

I feel for this kid. I don't understand this insurance situation in the U.S. I come from a country that has a public health care system, and currently live in one that has a far better one, so getting medical assistance has never been a problem.

If popped knob has no health insurance, how does he go about getting it? And what insurance company is going to cover treatment for a pre-existing condition such as this?
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LWillisjr

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Re: New to this forum!
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2013, 06:42:43 PM »

It's not officially documented so therefore not exactly a pre existing condition. It still isn't for sure if it is Peyronies or congential. Also, once he gets a job many group insurance companies will pick up the coverage anyway.
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Les - 10 yrs Peyronies Disease free
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