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[MauvaisCoton]

Hi everyone,

When I've been diagnosed with Peyronie's Disease in 2017, I thought my penis was broken. I had no idea such a disease existed. I felt handicapped. It took me more than 3 years to get over it. My curvature isn't that bothersome and I can still have sex, although there are some positions that I no longer want to do. I'm grateful for still being able to do that.

However, things have never been quite the same.

I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) so living with a disease that can progress and get worse any day has proven to be difficult. It crystallizes everything I'm scared about. I'm scared the disease will get worse. I'm scared I won't be able to use my penis anymore at some point. I'm scared my girlfriend will leave me because guys my age (usually) don't get Peyronie's Disease. I'm scared I won't be able to cope.

I also find myself consistently monitoring for symptoms of Peyronie's Disease, such as pain, erectile dysfunction, etc.

Whenever I'm about to have sex with my girlfriend, I always have the same thoughts: "What if I can't get it up this time? What if the plaque has somehow evolved and stopped the blood flow?".
Whenever I feel pain (which sometimes happens after sex, traction or even randomly), I think: "What if the pain means something is wrong? What if I've definitely broken my penis this time?".
Whenever I pee and see my flaccid penis twisted in a weird angle, I think: "What if Peyronie's Disease is aggressively coming back?".
Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night and find that I have a NTE, I can't help but checking that my penis is still "normal".
You get my point. Rationally, I know that worrying about Peyronie's Disease won't change the fact that if it ever gets worse, it will. Worrying and ruminating aren't productive.

I've been meditating daily for a year and I also see a therapist every week. We often discuss Peyronie's Disease and the anxiety I experience.

Do you also feel like this? If you have any suggestions and tips, I'd be more than happy to try them. I don't want to waste my life and some of its beautiful moments worrying about Peyronie's Disease. I'm tired of living in fear.

[NEIL_TENET]

MauvaisCoton, Yes, I also has different thoughts daily, but it’s not about shape, it’s about feelings as it seems that after injury, I don’t feel my private parts and it’s destroys my mind. So, I tried to talk with a typical mental doctor 2-3 times, but I didn’t tell him about peyronie and we talked about general things and he ask me about my childhood, so I stoped to visit him as I didn’t want to tell him about peyronie and didn’t want the empty talk about my childhood. I need the peyronie specialist, I think. 
So, what about you? Did you visit a peyronie specialist in your country? What did he say?

[Hawk]

MauvaisCoton,

I was older but less fortunate because I went from phenomenal erections and multiple orgasms to total Erectile Dysfunction.

I have laid in bed during foreplay with tears running down my cheeks.  That would have more impact if you knew me.  I was a first responder generally full of confidence.  My sex drive was still very high and at times I would think... I must have an erection and would often (day and night) reach down to find nothing.

I have had the experience even before Erectile Dysfunction and Peyronies Disease of dwelling or ruminating on negative thoughts.  It is destructive and cannot be allowed.  While we cannot control what jumps into our mind we can a must learn to control what we ruminate over.  Our depression and anxiety are not the result of what happens.  They are the result of what we think about and especially thoughts we ruminate. To control this is to control your life, happiness, and destiny. The responsibility is ours alone to fix this.  While a good counselor can help.  They cannot do it for you.

I am a broken record but you need to apply the principals found in this course. --> https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being?fbclid=IwAR2eJ4IUorZSpVc5mh4ThQwygogR9kVFo4MUWZuByo3yoMfM7rfu0AwaElQ

[Hawk]

Keep in mind that breaking stress and depression cycles are not just a matter of stopping one or two negative behaviors.  it is a matter of learning positive behaviors and exercising them. You can cultivate gratitude, enjoying the moment. and a dozen other behaviors that are the basis of a happy life.

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