One year of Peyronies

[Curvekiller94]

Starting in October it'll mark the one year point since my onset.

Wow I didn't think my life could get anymore stressful than it was but I'm approaching the one year point rapidly and nothing has improved maybe slightly less pain. But it's hard to say I take pain pills and still feel the pain through it. I'm getting very tired of working so hard in both school and work it's wearing me down that when I come home tired and in pain and I get to choose between being In more pain from sex or mastubrating or being in mental pain from not. F~@< this is getting exhausting. Never thought I could be injured for so long and lucky me my dick got injured without even a bruise and it's ruined for a whole year. Probably forever. Traction seemed to aggravate my condition and caused more pain.

My family is worried about my mental condition because I wreak of weed 24/7 and I've been spending a lot. They see my bank account because they used to help me out. But I just smoke cuz I'm so sad and it helps take my mind from the pain sometimes. And I spent my money on Uber eats because I was too sad to get up. Apparently you can still have sushi delivered to you in bed and still be sad. I've learned that money isn't everything and that health is everything.

I've known that previously but this is really in my face. I hate it. I want it fixed and there is nothing I can do and it's driving me insane. I don't even remember what having a normal functioning dick was like. Ignorance is bliss I guess this is my new dick maybe I can forget the past.

[Kobegianna]

What is your pain level? You are still able to have sex and masturbate so it's bearable?

[Curvekiller94]

If you can call it that I have to be so careful and my gf never gets off anymore I finish in like 2 seconds and I'm in pain lol

[Curvekiller94]

It's because we won the broken doc peyronie lottery. It doesn't happen to many young men we all got extremely unlucky. There is t enough people with our condition for them to care and it doesn't kill you. It's just sexual purgatory for the rest of our lives yippie.

[Bud luck]

Or some men with Peroynes don't say anything and do nothing about it.

[Curvekiller94]

True that is a big part of it

[Kobegianna]

You developed premature ejaculation due to Peyronie's also?

[Hawk]

Some of that is true but there are dozens of diseases that do kill people, that people do speak out about, and they still have no effective cure.   

[GaussRifle]

Many young people may not have peyronies but a lot of young people do have Erectile Dysfunction... Erectile Dysfunction is about the same percent as your life decade... so about 20% men in 20s , 30% in 30s and so on... you get the point. Yet there is no perfect non surgical solution for Erectile Dysfunction either. Modern medicine lacks behind a lot as compared to technological revolution. We never had a biological revolution.  It's partly because the human body is so much more complex than any piece of rocket equipment.

[Hawk]

My family is worried about my mental condition because I wreak of weed 24/7, and I've been spending a lot. They see my bank account because they used to help me out. But I just smoke cuz I'm so sad and it helps take my mind from the pain sometimes. And I spent my money on Uber eats because I was too sad to get up. Apparently, you can still have sushi delivered to you in bed and still be sad. I've learned that money isn't everything and that health is everything.
... it's driving me insane....maybe I can forget the past.

It only takes a quick read to identify the things that are contributing to your mental state.  (staying in bed, staying high, squandering money and resources, thinking only of yourself during sex with someone you supposedly care about.)

It also does not take a rocket scientist of a PhD. to know this will never get better and likely worsen unless you change something.  These cycles never just fix themselves.  I could waste time for me, you, and all readers by suggesting a few things, but I would rather start by asking:

We understand the initial problem, and we know the things you do to make life more miserable for you and those you care about.  What we don't know is:
1. What are you doing on your own to make things better?
2. Have you given any of the the resources at the top of the board a try?
3. Are you going to a good counselor?
4. Have you read any books or watched any training videos on self-help with depression?
5 THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE - are you willing to do any of these things, or are have you given up and decided to embrace your misery and just talk about it.

[20yo]

guys there is hope. people overcome challenges everyday.
Every step in the right direction is a step towards a good, fulfilling life. It takes time, it takes pain, effort.
In the road we will give up many many times and then go back at it.
But Peyronie's disease can't be the end of us.
To the people who are sad, like me, I would argue our main problem keeping us from living is depression and obsessive thinking, not Peyronies Disease. Without depression we would come to the realization that we can get pleasure from many, many, many things.
Your brain can be obsessed by many things: social acceptance, drugs, one person, money. Now we are obsessed with sex.
If one has the same mental problems and doesn't have Peyronies Disease he/she would easily find something else to be obsessed and sad about.
But just because it feels (and i know it very well myself) like sex is the ultimate pleasure in life it doesn't mean it actually is

i look around myself (friends, tv series, books, movies) and i see a lot of people suffering. all for their reason, and each is important and understandable.
It kinda makes me wonder. Maybe it isn't so much about Peyronies Disease. Maybe it's just life, it makes you dream of a future and then it takes your dreams away.
It makes it hard for you to be satisfied with what you have, in the present, and you always want what your neighbour has.
It happened more than once that someone that i looked up as more sucessful than me (in a relationship, active sex life and so on) admitted of admiring/wanting something I have instead.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we are not emarginated from society, many more people are in a situation like us than we feel at first.
Probably in 1-2 years (if we keep fighting) we will realize we don't have it as bad afterall

Edit: even tho i try to be positive i struggle finding motivation and have existential crisis on the daily (or rather on the hourly)
i started following many disabled /chronically ill people/athletes/artists on social media so that I can prove to myself that life is rarely all flowers and roses (it's an italian saying to mean easy and pretty). Life is often a fight

[Hawk]

20yo,  Your post is profound !!!  I wish I had that much insight at 20 years old.  Your post deserves to be read and have each line pondered over.

I think you would find benefit in these resources simply because you would give them a fair shot if you started them. --> https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,13846.0.html

If you happen to try either, I am interested in chatting with you on the forum about your candid thoughts.

life is rarely all flowers and roses (it's an italian saying to mean easy and pretty). Life is often a fight

Life is ALWAYS a fight.  I love the quote by a woman who lost a lot of dreams and glamor because of Multiple Sclerosis.  "Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful" ― Annette Funicello

[Mikel7]

guys there is hope. people overcome challenges everyday.
Every step in the right direction is a step towards a good, fulfilling life. It takes time, it takes pain, effort.
In the road we will give up many many times and then go back at it.
But Peyronie's disease can't be the end of us.
i look around myself (friends, tv series, books, movies) and i see a lot of people suffering. all for their reason, and each is important and understandable.

i started following many disabled /chronically ill people/athletes/artists on social media so that I can prove to myself that life is rarely all flowers and roses (it's an italian saying to mean easy and pretty). Life is often a fight

20yo  I will concur with Hawk!  For a someone as young as you what a great mindset you have! You have wisdom beyond your age.  I also have read challenging stories about dire circumstances. Here is one that
has brought me to tears if you have the time to actually read it. He was paralyzed from a football injury from the neck down and spent 35 years in a bed.  I am sure none of us have had to indure something like this.  -->https://features.texasmonthly.com/editorial/still-life/

[20yo]

dear hawk and mikel, it really warms my heart that you guys, which are mature/experienced, find my post insightful.
I am very flattered and proud.
It gives me hope that I have something to offer to the world, even with my penile scarring hahahah.
My self esteem needed it because I know it's not just empty compliments.

What can I say, I faced a good number adversities in my life other than Peyronie's, so when I got the diagnosis I was completely crushed to pieces (I had almost a suicidal attempt and was locked in psychiatric ward for a month).
And I suppose difficult situations really teach you a thing or two about life if you let them (either that or they kill you).
But there is hope! I now have a healthier brain and can see more clearly indeed. I can appreciate good things and put bad things in perspective more easily (far from being healthy still).
My therapist, antidepressants, this forum, friends, my ambitions for my career, exercise, all helped me get a better perspective on life.

Also worth of notice: my doctor noted I was obsessed with my penis. This is a pathology! I was diagnosed with penile dismorphic disorder. There are medications that help treat it (not saying we need them just want to point out how serious and doctumented it is).
I think the first step to being more healthy mentally is recognizing the way we are obsessed about our penis is unhealthy and it's arguably more of a problem than Peyronies Disease itself.

To hawk, I will try the resources and I would be glad to discuss about them.
Thank you again for the compliments and thank you for building and managing this life saver of a forum where we can support each other without risking of loosing privacy.

[Curvekiller94]

Yeah I developed PE because I never finish on a consistent basis any more and my stamina is awful.

[Curvekiller94]

I disagree that it is not the depression that is my problem. No, I would prefer not to bask in my misery.

Yes I have secondary depression. But, I was rarely depressed prior to Peyronies . I've had to start over multiple times  and I've had IBS(which is a constant problem requires me to wake up early and have diet resatrictions), epilepsy(made me switch jobs to a job where I wouldn't drive professionally), joint swelling(also made to change jobs to less physical), and other problems that hurt my self esteem but I was over to overcome them( such as psoriasis and hair loss). Not to mention mental problem existing ADHD as well as anxiety. Despite all of those problems I was never down and out and I always came back fighting. The reason why this is different is because is greatly effects my ability to enjoy intercourse. While some men do it to please their partner etc. I have sexual needs too and they are not being met at all. Nor are my partners.

This makes me depressed that I can't do those things however, is it the depression that's causing bedroom problems no. It's the other way around.

Example, if I got any other injury and they could repair it. Would they repair me or send me to a councilor because I'm depressed I can't throw a football without being in pain the rest of the day?

[20yo]

I'm not saying the problem isn't real or that it's caused by depression.
We have peyronie's disease and this makes it hard for us to have a conventional sex life so to say (some people get away with a decent functioning penis some don't)
What I'm saying is that what makes you tired of working, makes you smoke weed, spend money, in pain, makes you eat from uber eats and so on is depression.
One could have Peyronies Disease and not be in pain because of it, if he has accepted it and moved on.
So what I believe is that depression is having a bigger impact on your life than Peyronies Disease itself.
Peyronies Disease makes you unsatisfied sexually.
Depression makes you unsatisfied sexually and in every single aspect of life too. And there are many aspects.
I hope I don't sound patronizing because we are in the same boat really

[Curvekiller94]

Yeah you're right. It's just most men # 1 thing in life including myself is sex and not having that makes me not care about my life.

[Curvekiller94]

Yeah I'm sorry if I sound like I'm being a dick but this is just how I feel and I have no one to talk about it with. My GF says no more talking about it so I don't have many options.

[20yo]

Well you know what. I disagree completely.
I would argue most men #1 thing in life is surviving. And that includes myself.
I would argue if you are in our situation you have to find other things or to reinvent sex.
There is time, no need to rush. It's gonna take time but it's gonna happen

Don't worry bro get all your emotions out. You know you can vent with me.
I've been there and I know the hopelessness and the unfairness and everything.
I vented myself and now I'm in a better place

EDIT: most living beings #1 thing is surviving
and while you are surviving (cause your mind is built to make you survive) you might as well work on yourself and try to be healthy and content

[Mikel7]

I would argue if you are in our situation you have to find other things or to reinvent sex.

   For the time being this is what you need to do.  I can say from experience that there are a lot of other ways to really have mind blowing sex - you just need to be creative. Sex is just not only intercourse but rather shared intimacy and experiences.   You will get through this - just stop you thinking this is forever.

[Lostandsad]

My GF says no more talking about it so I don't have many options.

It seems that you've been through a lot in life already bro. PM me if you ever feel the need to vent.

[Hawk]

CurveKiller,

You are missing the entire point.

First, you never even bothered to answer my questions which makes me feel you don't care about seeking help.  When someone gives you their irreplaceable precious time and uses it to reach out and share information that they hope can change your life, it is beyond self-centered to not respond.

Next, having PE has NOTHING to do with your GF never having an orgasm.  All you have to do is take care of her and then let her take care of you.  To use her as a hole to take care of yourself is, again, beyond self-centered. Yet, you don't seem to even get that or show any interest in what you can do differently.

In addition, Peyronies Disease cannot make anyone depressed, just like winning the lottery can not cure depression.  If you put ANY time into understanding the cycle you are in, you would know that events do not cause depression or joy.  It is what we think about those events.  There are unlimited clear examples.  If someone cuts you off in traffic and you keep dwelling on what a jerk they are, it cannot only ruin your mood at the moment but also ruin your day and cause misery.  If you knew, however, they just got word, their child was being rushed by ambulance to the hospital and might be dead before they get there, it changes what you think about the situation. ----- If you get a lump and are certain it is cancer, it negatively affects you even though it is a benign simple fatty cyst.  In these two over-simplified examples, nothing changed about what happened.  What changed is what you THINK about what happened.  A guy with an 8" dick loses 2 inches and is depressed because of everything he thinks (I lost everything, it will probably continue to get worse, I can't dazzle women and give them unforgettable experiences, etc.).  At the same time, men with 5" dicks live the lives of players and as mates to women who are hopelessly devoted and obsessed with them.

If you can't understand the triggers, and reject that ONLY YOU can control them, you are not taking responsibility for your situation.

This is NOT a bitch board.  It is here for those who want to take responsibility and do something to help themselves or others.  It is for those willing to learn and willing to try.  Your next post will strongly indicate whether you are ready to change for a better future or whether you decide to shirk your responsibility a wallow in misery, and seek pity.

[Curvekiller94]

It only takes a quick read to identify the things that are contributing to your mental state.  (staying in bed, staying high, squandering money and resources, thinking only of yourself during sex with someone you supposedly care about.)

It also does not take a rocket scientist of a PhD. to know this will never get better and likely worsen unless you change something.  These cycles never just fix themselves.  I could waste time for me, you, and all readers by suggesting a few things, but I would rather start by asking:

We understand the initial problem, and we know the things you do to make life more miserable for you and those you care about.  What we don't know is:
1. What are you doing on your own to make things better?
2. Have you given any of the the resources at the top of the board a try?
3. Are you going to a good counselor?
4. Have you read any books or watched any training videos on self-help with depression?
5 THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE - are you willing to do any of these things, or are have you given up and decided to embrace your misery and just talk about it.

Sorry i didn't reply I am trying my hardest.

1. Im working and going to school in moving up in both work and school. I have little time for anything else as engineering school is demanding. And so is working as an engineering technician.

2. I have given some resources a try. Some things help temporarily but at the end they stop working for me.

3. I am working on getting into a good councilor( not really that eager to sit in a room and talk about my problems related to my dick after working hard in school and work. But I will do it. Personally I don't think it's much help to me. It seems like a bandaid fiz because it's not fixing the actual problem.

4. I tried to read a self help book my gf got me but I was too depressed at the time. Now I read and write all day so maybe a video would be better for me. Do you have suggestions?

5. I'm willing to them

[Curvekiller94]

Good point lol Same here as soon as I think about women or sex I just am crushed lol good thing I have good health and no other chronic health problems... oh wait I'm not lol. It's almost as though last year never happened. Between the pandemic and the lack of sex I pretty much did nothing except play video games and deteriorate and do hw.

I got the best job I e ever had and I'm almost graduating. But I couldn't feel worse. Even my boss gave me his 2020 Subaru STI it's very quick and pretty fancy. But I still don't really care. I get these weird erections when I'm in the car because of the bumps ( never used to) but they're uncomfortable.


Pretty much I might be miserable forever but I'll try not to be. I'm in clas rn and I'm having a really hard time focusing. Adderall used to help me focus due to my adhd now I just obsess about what I don't have anymore. Girls used to tel me how good I was in bed. Those days are over. I'll have to focus on other aspects but it's very hard.

[20yo]

I agree not to get obsessed about it.
I am not in denial tho. In fact I am A LOT healtier mentally than I was a year ago when I would suffer about the disease and was obsessed.
And for someone to say I'm "in denial" is an atrocity.
It is empty cynicism and self pity.
I know you are in pain but if you push away the same people that try to help you, well good luck with that.

EDIT: i don't know if I can have penetrative sex but i doubt it very much. I have Erectile Dysfunction and curvature, sensation loss, hourglassing
Maybe Erectile Dysfunction treatment will help

I'm not saying feeling sad and wining is a bad thing. Wine all you want and tell yourself your life is over if you need to.
I did that. You feel that way and your feelings are the realest thing in your personal life.
Just know that feelings change. It's just the nature of feelings

[Curvekiller94]

20yO is smarter than us and wiser. I will try to take his advice there is no point and bitching it doesn't get you anywhere.

[Curvekiller94]

Seriously the only reason I don't is I'm in my 20's

[Curvekiller94]

And I still may. Considering my axial rigidity isn't enough to stand up on its own

[GaussRifle]

Fair point... if it work , it works... if it doesn't it doesn't no matter the age.

[Curvekiller94]

It like doesn't like gets hard but it's moves around a lot it's very unstable and it feels scary having sex like I might break it.

[Tortão Pra Direita]

Things that seriously may reduce your pain. Please, consider using some of the supplements below:

- Curcumin + bioperine;
- Rephyl Beta Caryophyllene;
- Proteolytic enzymes;
- Agmatine;
- CBD.

I could recommend you brands that offer high quality stuff, but I think this is against the rules, so message me if you want brand recommendation.

Agmatine is a great antidepressant too.

[Hawk]

I cleaned some of the off-topic non-sense posts up and responses to them along with a few other things like an "Autocorrect" error and the response so this topic can make some sense.

[Asphyxia]

Tortao, do you know if the enzymes must be entric coated, or if they are as good if you get them from foods like nattokinase or pineapple/papaya?

[Hawk]

lets be careful about topic stealing

[Asphyxia]

Curvekiller, maybe a different traction device could work if its blocking your blood flow like it does for me,
although i havent tried restorex, the base on the rod system seems to block my blood flow

Im also 1 year with peyronies and still in pain, and i have tried andropeyronies which blocked my blood flow and caused more pain, now using pmp and it sometimes does the same but much less often when i use the belt instead of the rod system

I dont think its a common problem so its probably unllikely to be the reason but i guess if you ever felt your penis becoming cold or numb during traction then it could be the cause.

[Curvekiller94]

Thank you hawk sorry for the nonsense I'll be better about it I promise.

[Curvekiller94]

Thank you for the suggestion @Tortão Pra Direita  I will take you up on that and message.
Asphyxia: I have tried pmp and restorex both have caused me pain after and made my symptoms feel as if they were flaring up. A while if not wearing the device those symptoms would go away.
Hawk: Thank you for the advice im working on getting. A counselor as well as trying to work out more.

[Curvekiller94]

Thanks lost and sad yeah it's been a rough ride for me so far. It's been tiring but I'll figure it out it's just gonna suck for a bit I guess