Hello all,
This will be fairly long, but please consider reading the whole thing for context. Otherwise, please skip to the bottom part where I propose my protocol. I'd really appreciate your insight and advice because I am at a crossroads in my journey. Thank you very much in advance.
I took Finasteride for a few months and, among many more horrific side effects, developed Peyronies Disease during that time. I have made great strides in resolving many of the side effects from my fallout with Finasteride, and I would consider myself 100% recovered if I had my old penis back. I'm here on this forum now to try and mitigate any further damage to my penis, as well as (hopefully) regain some lost size.
My current profile is as follows:
History:
Developed
Erectile Dysfunction while on the drug, which worsened for months after discontinuing. No
NTE/MW for months, no spontaneous erections or libido.
Developed the fabled
hourglass about a month after discontinuation. Most prominent during semi erection.
Slowly, and imperceptibly at first, lost overall size, primarily
girth. I lost around .25" in length, .5" in
girth (.7" near site of Peyronies Disease).
Noticed slight indentations, like a ribbed penis, on the lower third, left side of my erection, that have progressively hardened and become 'deeper'. The hardness and deepness is actually fairly variable, dependent on
EQ and good days/bad days, but they are always present. Not palpable while
flaccid or even semi erect. Significant
girth loss at base in this area.
Hard
flaccid for months, now penis is longer and skinnier when
flaccid. This is also variable, but generally the case now.
Currently:
I no longer have
Erectile Dysfunction. I am able to achieve a hard erection, albeit through manual stimulation. I can achieve somewhat of an erection through mental stimulation, but not a full one. I can maintain an erection in all positions, even standing.
I would say that I have NTEs almost every night, and MW more frequently than not. These are generally not as strong as they were prior to Fin though. I do occasionally have spontaneous erections during the day, but nowhere near as many as the amount I would have everyday prior to Finasteride.
I do not have the
hourglass effect anymore; however, I do not know if this is due to size loss and it's really still there, or if it was actually corrected.
I'm able to have sex without pain, although I am careful.
Left side indents are still there and more prominent than before; I've developed similar indentations/ribs on the right side in the exact same area fairly recently.
I'm extremely insecure about my current size, even though I am still above average. I miss my old
girth, and it causes me a lot of psychological distress. I'm working on accepting this and letting go, and is very much why I'm reaching out to the forum today.
Protocol:
In short, I'd like to add a
VED,
traction, and pelvic floor exercises to my routine. Specifically, the SOMA and RestoreX.
I attempted to use the bathmate in the past; however, it was difficult to use and I overpumped. Afterwards, I started to develop new indentations on the right side of my shaft (exactly the same as on the left) and I'm worried that they are progressing in much the same way as the ones on my left. I'm hesitant to start using a
VED again after this experience. It seems to me a very sharp double edged sword with the potential to improve and worsen my situation. The SOMA seems like a more gentle, nuanced
VED than the bathmate, which is why I'm considering it, but I have read that people have had similar issues with it all the same.
Traction, I am not as sure. I have read that
traction has made some user's conditions worse as well, especially ones with similar indentations/ribbing like mine, or even caused new indentiations/issues. That being said, there are many more positive experiences with
traction on this forum and others, so I'm leaning towards trying it out. I would be using it for improving my overall penile health, primarily. I do not have any significant bending of the penis. It hinges left, starting at the top of the site of my indentations, but it's very slight and does not cause me any distress. Like I said, the benefits I'm looking to gain from
traction are increased penis elasticity, health, and any ancillary length gain.
MOST IMPORTANTLY FOR ME:
Through my journey, I have recognized and learned many things, one of them being the value and power of acceptance. There was a long period of my life where my mental faculties and other areas of health were so bad that I did not care about my penis or sex life. At some points, I told myself that I would live the rest of my life as a eunich as long as I could have my mind back. I have almost all of it back now, and I'm extremely grateful and try to practice gratitude every day. I do not take my health for granted any longer.
Furthermore, while my penis is not the same as it once was, it is still functional and capable. I can engage in sex, its pleasurable for my partners, its pleasurable for me, it's straight, it's sensitive, it's painless.
Which is why I wonder if this is worth it? I know that improving my penis in size and function will make me feel 10x better; I know that harming it and making it worse at my own hand will make me feel 100x worse. I experienced this with the bathmate. I've experienced this with many other things, F^@$!ng around with supplements and otherwise in order to heal from Finasteride.
That said, I also don't want to sit around and watch it regress further on it's own, questioning whether or not I should have done something to combat further deterioration and progression of Peyronies Disease. Taking action feels good to me, knowing that I'm doing something, anything, is better than nothing.
This wasn't as succinct or as put together as I'd like, but it's a start. I'll be around to interact with anyone who responds to this thread. Please let me know what your thoughts are, any suggestions, or if you have any further questions.
All the best to you all.