let's not cause more damage

[20yo]

hi everyone.
I'd like to share my experiences of my last 2 months. hopefully it can help someone,
well i had peyronie's since about march 2020 and around may of this year i reinjured myself with VED (my doctor gave me terrible instrctions on how to use it and i trusted him).
in the state of depression and self pity i was in, i felt like i had no hope to feel fulfilled again, pretty much.
exactly 2 months ago, i was talking about this to a friend of mine, and she tried to push me to get myself back into dating and stuff, since i have totally withdrawn from seeking anything in that regard.
well i drank a little and one thing led to another and in the end i ended up messaging a guy on an app for immediate encounters.
that same night i ended up giving him a blowjob, no protections.

you know, i'm not one to do things like this, and i immediately got paranoid about catching an STD, i knew nothing about that guy.
fear escalated after i got a whole array of hiv symptoms in the next weeks, of which fever, painful swollen lymph nodes, muscle aches, sore throat and what not.
i know i know, the risk for BJ is minimal but with the symptoms and a little immagination your mind can do a lot of work.

well i took a blood test 8 weeks later and i don't have anything.
this is just a reflection.
peyronie is a huge distress for any of us.
but living life in pain and suffering and in self pity is only going to cause more damage.
we may find ourselves in a situation where we wish we only had peyronie.

also this experience taught me another thing.
well i didn't use my penis at all in this encounter because i was distressed  and self conscious.
i still got horny and felt pleasure and got turned on.
it still was better than lying in my bad crying.
so to anyone that was like me, felt very afraid of putting himself out there, i would say to face the fear, because it's worth it in the end.
mouth/finger/bent penis sex is better than 0 sex imho
and ofc use your protections hahah
thank you for listening to the rant. let's be positive about this, life goes on

[Combat-lizard]

Agreed!! There are much worse fates than peyronies although it feels like the worst thing ever at times  

[nemo]

I remember as I was preparing for my second COVID vaccine, worrying if it might trigger side-effects, one of the ones mentioned was Bells Palsy, in which half of your face is paralyzed. Sometimes, Bells Palsy is transient and comes and goes, as was the case for my mother who experienced it twice in her life. For others, such as my 6th grade teacher, and one of my former bosses, it's permanent. Half your face frozen. People constantly looking at you, wondering what's wrong. Trying to navigate the dating scene with such an affliction. The struggle would be daunting.

Even though I suspect the COVID vaccines played a part in my current flare of Peyronies Disease, I have thought a couple times that Bells Palsy would actually be worse, if it was permanent. Cosmetic - yes, but life changing.

At least with Peyronies Disease, as tough as it is, and as emotionally and psychologically challenging, we have the knowledge that if it gets so bad we are no longer functional, an implant is a viable "cure." There are so many conditions for which there exists no such remedy.

It's good to take stock, and be thankful that the disease we are dealing with is not fatal, and does have a viable (albeit drastic) solution. I sometimes remind myself, when I'm in the black cloud of anxiety over this disease, that right now, somewhere in the world, someone is setting across from a doctor telling him/her they have terminal cancer. At that moment, life truly must change drastically.

Anxiety is relative, and we must try to step back and realize our situation could be much, much worse.

Nemo  

[Mikel7]

Yes peyronies is devastating and shocking and life-altering.  Sex is part of a normal persons life.  It soothes us and makes life more enjoyable. The thing we focus on the most gets magnified.  You have to have a mindest that you will make it through this!  If you need counseling then get some.  If you need medication then get some.  Remember that alcohol is a depressant and also lowers our inhibitions.  Ask your self the question if engaging in risky sexual behavior is worth it in the end?  After your encounter you not only had to worry about
catching something but your peyronies wasn't improved either. I lost one of my friends to aids back in the early 80's - it was very devastating for me.