My Intro and Story

[Machinehead]

Hi everyone, I am a 22 year old who just graduated from college and I am currently applying to medical school. My experience with Peyronie's is complicated and even a little bit of a mystery to me still. I have always remembered my penis curving the way it does (up and to the left about 30 degrees). There is a palpable ring of tissue directly under the head of my penis on the ventral side, so I think I may have developed the condition very young in life. My father even said his is similar to mine (I have not seen his, thank God). I did have an experience after masturbating in February of 2020 where after masturbating I had a great deal of swelling with no pain to the top right of my penis. the swelling went away but I did have residual hard-ish tissue that forms the ring of tissue I described earlier. Because my penis had always been curved, I just assumed this was no problem and went about my life. I then decided to finally get seen by a doctor in late 2020 where I was diagnosed with Peyronie's by an NP (I still have not seen a urologist). He stated that he often sees patients with Peyronie's, so I do trust him. He immediately prescribed me Pentox and told me to massage and take Vitamine E and L-carnitine. Admittedly, I did not follow this treatment because my sleep and eating schedule were all over the place for work and class. I also got the QuickExtender Pro which was also really hard to use and there was no way I could use it for 6+ hours a day. Now, I have the choice to either get Xiaflex injections or RestoreX and I am really unsure what to go with.

I am happy to report I had vaginal sex for the first time earlier this year, and I had sex a few times with the same girl thereafter. I didn't notice it being super difficult, but it was my first few times doing it and I was extremely nervous and I did not last very long. That relationship didn't last with her kind of ghosting me after a while. Psychologically, it really has taken all my confidence away with women. I do feel like less of a man and even less of a human in general. There's just a huge disconnection I feel between me and everyone else. I have been told I am a pretty attractive guy, but that makes me feel even worse because I feel I don't live up to anyone's expectations of me being handsome and good in bed. My guy friends are always talking about sex and girls, and my condition makes me feel like I just can't have the pleasure of dating and hooking up like they can. I have a big fear about losing out on relationships due to my penis, and I fear my last girlfriend ended things because of it, but we never had a final talk, so I'll never know. My penis is also not very big with it being a little over 5 inches with almost a 5 inch circumference (thanks genetics), which causes me even more anxiety on top of that. Honestly, I just feel hopeless because it seems like a condition that could have just an easy medication, injection, or surgery to fix it, but there just isn't one.

A positive is that I am much less judge-mental of others based on appearances, and I try to see people for who they are inside because I desperately yearn for people to like me for my mind. I have even tried to improve my personality by being nicer and more accepting of others in my life, although it is hard with the sadness I feel inside due to my condition to even talk to others. Being completely honest, this has caused me to have somewhat suicidal thoughts, with more of a feeling of waiting to die because I don't have hope that my condition can improve. I hope to connect with a lot of people on here so I don't feel so alone, and to get advice. Even typing out this intro has made me feel a little better just venting my feelings for the first time, even if no one reads this one. For now, I have another appointment in November where I may begin the Xiaflex injections if I choose to do those. If anyone has some insight into whether I should do RestoreX or Xiaflex I would be happy for the advice. I hope to see a doctor specializing in Peyronie's disease some point in the future, but I am a minimum wage worker, so I can't really afford some things myself, and I don't want to be too much of a financial burden on my parents. Also, my symptoms are a little hard for me to explain, but I may have lost some sensation in my penis, but I don't really know what it is supposed to feel like. I don't really have trouble getting erections, but I also am unsure about what my erections should be like. I wish everyone luck in their journey, with my experience it has been the hardest of my life thus far, but I believe it could be a positive experience if I can use it as an example of overcoming adversity.  

[GaussRifle]

Welcome to the forum. First of all, peyronies in young people in not as rare as you think. There are many on this forum your age group like me ... im 26.  Please fill in the signature line https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,10819.0.html and read the survival guide https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,3180.0.html.

Answering your questions between xiaflex and restorex ... I would definitely start with RestoreX,  there is no doubt about this. Give it 6 months of time to see improvements... if the improvement is not enough to your liking... only then proceed with Xiafkex. Moreover many a times doctor tell you to use restoreX while undergoing xiaflex... so you'll have plenty of experience using that device by that time anyways.


Big hugs ... we are here for each other.

[Hawk]

Machinehead,

Welcome to the forum.  I am glad you found us.  I understand your stress is real.  You are going through a very stressful stage of life. However, you WILL work through it.

My first advice is  S L O W  D O W N !
You have a completely functional penis well within the average size of penises.  
2. Many of the exploits your friends describe are very embellished.  Even if there are not exaggerated (but they are), you are not the type of guy who will find happiness in countless shallow exploits.
3. There are potentially a thousand reasons why the girl faded from the scene.  For you to keep ruminating, the worst possible reason is unrealistic, damaging behavior.  The permanence of an easy hookup is not the measure of your worth.
4. You have time to become well-informed about traction and Xiaflex and make a sound decision.  If it is Xiaflex, you need to research an excellent doctor.
5. Peyronies Disease had nothing to do with how long you lasted.  That is likely a lack of experience and an anxiety issue
6.  Learn how to charm and romance a woman with intimacy rather than thinking the key is becoming a porn star with, huge, perfectly straight penis.  95% of males your age have a functional penis.  Develop something to go with it that most guys your age don't have.  Make it a point to learn what women really want and what the woman you are dating specifically wants.  Learn to provide the things they crave (verbal complements, little acts of consideration and kindness, touch and closeness, security).  They are all different, but just like you, they all have their needs.  You need to understand them and satisfy those needs.  If you fail, I promise you it will NOT be because of the physical size and shape of your penis.

Here are two important assignments
1. Read this survival guide. Read every word and absorb it.  --->Peyronies Survival Guide
2. If you want accurate answers that apply to your case, be considerate enough to help us.  You can save us all from typing the same 40 questions over and over.  Fill in your signature line --->Instructions for your Signature Line

Hawk
Founder/Administrator

[Lostandsad]

Hey bro, you're not alone. There are a bunch of young guys on this forum. GaussRifle and Hawk already gave some great advice. You're still young, and you can battle this thing. There are many users who've had success with traction devices, especially with your degree of curvature and bend. If you need someone to talk to, you can always PM me, I'm on here every day.  

[Mikel7]

Welcome Machinehead to the forum! My congrats to graduation and trying to better yourself through med school!  You have been given great advice and I suggest you ponder it. Your worth is not measured by your penis but rather how much you are loved by others.  You are young and have the potential to heal faster than us older gents here. You will eventually find a nice girl that accepts you for what you have inside rather than what's on the outside.  Intimacy is a must in developing a long lasting relationship and that is not just sexual either.

I think that you need to restart traction and remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint. I would also suggest if you could possibly get on your parents insurance? This might allow you to get into a peyronies Dr for further evaluation.

Also talking with your dad if you have a good relationship would be a great help to you. He might have had the same thing but feels embarrassed about sharing with you. He was young once just like you. You are going to make it through this! Don't focus on bad thoughts but if you feel you need to see a counselor then don't feel ashamed about that either!  They can offer you some good help and advice and meds if needed during this time in your life. You are going to get better and make it through this!!  Remember that each new day is fresh with no mistakes in it.    Mikel7